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QuietJamie14

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QuietJamie14 last won the day on July 25 2013

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About QuietJamie14

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  1. I think that a misguided sense of optimism is part of the reason I feel so bad about myself now. In my late teens/early twenties I got myself through my struggles with acne by believing that things would definitely improve as i got older. I focused on my studies, educating myself, making myself a more interesting and successful person. All the while I visualized my older self as a confident, clear-skinned adult. I'm now 30 and my acne is as bad as ever, combined with persistent eczema. I have
  2. Now my hair is thinning and falling out. Must be stress, as there's no baldness in my family. At least a shaved head suits me, and helps me feel cleaner and fresher. Will have to come to terms with the fact that God wants me to be unattractive. I have a really good career, and can devote myself to that.
  3. Completely lost and hopeless. Not a day goes by without some sort of breakdown, or fit of anger, followed by long bouts of depression. It's becoming difficult to leave the house. None of the help or advice out there seems to help.
  4. A few people - including a cognitive behavior therapist - have suggested to me that I have body (or skin) dysmorphia. But I simply can't accept this diagnosis because I see actual acne when I look in the mirror, and feel dry flaky skin on my face. It's not in my imagination so why would I have BDD? I guess this is a problem most sufferers face. How do you know whether you have BDD or whether you really are ugly/disgusting/abnormal etc? It's so hard to treat a psychological condition when you
  5. Looking back over my twenties, I can certainly see that acne has helped me become a better person in many ways: kinder, humbler, less superficial, and more successful and driven. The problem is that I'm now approaching 30 and it feels as if my ongoing acne problems are preventing me from making the next step. I'm kind and intelligent and successful but still have no confidence because of the way I look. My acne has served its 'purpose'. Now it only seems to be holding me back from appreciati
  6. I think confidence is a misused, perhaps overused, word. I agree with the sentiment that confidence is key, but, despite people constantly repeating the mantra that 'confidence is not the same as arrogance/cockiness', in reality few can actually tell the difference - especially when it comes to dating. Arrogant men (and to a lesser extent women) do very well indeed when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. In my view, it is better to aim for inner peace. I haven't found 'inner peace' as
  7. Frustrated that everyone I know who had acne gets over it sooner or later, regains their confidence, and everyone, everyone, eventually finds love. Apart from me. There is no end in sight. Trying to be a better person. Trying to feel happy for others. Trying to concentrate on the good things I do have in life, rather than on all the things acne has taken away from me. But some days are harder than others. I find the summer months especially difficult, when everyone else seems so happy and be
  8. I like to consider myself a mature, kind, and, despite my skin problems, not entirely unattractive man; yet no women have ever taken much of an interest in me, on or offline. My own experiences of dating and dating sites have led me to give up entirely on my love life and focus on my career instead. I think it can be the right decision for some of us. 'Career' might be the wrong word, too. Vocation, perhaps. Passion? I do not pursue money or power or status: I have a rewarding job that invol
  9. Yep, I've pretty much arrived at the same place you have. I'm now 28, have tried many things to help my skin, including going to doctors, including 'natural' products and diet, including waiting and hoping that I'll outgrow it. My career and work life are also satisfying - but the hope or possibility of a relationship seems over. Besides my horrible skin, no woman is going to be interested in someone who, at my age, has so little relationship experience.
  10. Hate to say it, but my experiences don't chime with a lot of the 'It's all about confidence' advice here. I speak in a clear, articulate way; smile a lot; look everyone (male and female) in the eye; have some close friends; have a very good job; work hard, achieve a lot; do brave things that a lot of clear-skinned people would struggle with, like moving to a new city, making new friends, travelling, giving public talks, teaching classes, etc. I'm not an extrovert, or a cocky, arrogant '
  11. Thanks Bodie and Randall. I've calmed down a bit since yesterday but I hate the way that months and months of good progress - following CBT and some big achievements and life changes - can be swept away in a single moment. The worst thing is that it wasn't bad artificial lighting - it was bright daylight - that made my face look so horrible. So now I know what I look like when I'm walking out in the street, in the sunshine. No wonder I get ignored by women. The Barbers was one of tho
  12. I had been feeling good lately. Doing well in my new job, meeting new people, gaining some confidence. Really proud of myself. AND THEN, today I went to the Barbers and it had big windows with daylight streaming in. My skin looked horrific. Really freakishly bad. And when the girl was cutting my hair, flakes of dry skin were falling onto the black floor. I am a monster. Too disgusting to ever find love. Any confidence I had gained is gone for good.
  13. My job involves standing up and giving lectures to theatres full of students, leading smaller seminars, attending meetings, travelling and giving presentations - so there's really nowhere to hide. It's hard and it's horrible to have to face the world with acne and dry skin but I don't have a choice - I love my job and refuse to let acne ruin it for me. I've learnt that people don't care about acne when it comes to me as a person and my ability to do my job. The only area it does have a negat
  14. Still feeling bad about acne - but feeling much better about life. Only a few months after finishing my PhD, I managed to land my dream job after getting through a very competitive interview process. It's going to be hard work, and I do worry about how acne will affect me day to day; but, still, at least I can say that I've refused to let skin problems ruin my life. Merry Xmas to all.
  15. Hey Savy, just wanted to tell you that you can do this! It's really hard and I know what it's like to go through really dark periods where you feel hopeless, but just remember if you keep your head up and keep moving forward you'll get through the worst parts of life and come out a stronger person as a result. Try and hang tough and just do the best you can. I read your blog and you're a very courageous and inspirational person, I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope things get better soon. &lt
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