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Everything posted by hotburrito

  1. I definitely haven't been dealing with it very well both psychologically and emotionally. To be honest, part of me still hopes that I'm going to wake up one day and realize that all this was just an awful nightmare instead of my actual life. RF really is quite rare - I had no idea it existed until it actually happened to me either. I was initially actually relatively calm (the first 3-4 days at least) because I figured I just had a REALLY bad allergic reaction to something and assumed the acne w
  2. Clear in a month? Damn. That's really quick. I'm finishing my second and definitely still breaking out. Two cysts isn't too awful! So long as they don't spread, right? Hopefully the memories of you being held back by your acne become much less paralyzing in the long run. Rehabilitation takes time, right? I'm also very nervous that even post-Accutane/lasers/peels I won't be able to go back to my old self, but I guess it's a learning curve and you have to have faith in it/yourself. I'm seeing a ps
  3. Wow, big congratulations to you! You must be feeling pretty stoked right now.
  4. Good luck on your course! The 20 mg doesn't sound too bad to me - I guess they're slowly inundating you into the drug.
  5. Congrats on no current actives! Hopefully it lasts. As for your pores, I find that mine shrink and enlarge by the week on Accutane. I've heard that they'll probably go back to normal a couple of weeks once you finish your course. Mine are pretty huge right now and it's disconcerting because they were always totally invisible in the past, so I feel your pain.
  6. *winces* Man, 80mg to start off with at your build? I think that would probably make me feel awful - my derma recently had to take me off 40/80 mg alternating days (and tell me to stop taking the drug for an entire week in order to flush it out) because my body was taking it super badly. Anyways, good luck on your course. Sorry you have to go on a second one - going on a second course would feel like my worst nightmare, but you seem to have a (considering the circumstances) decently positive
  7. *laughs* Oh god, I HOPE this is really true. For the record, makeup is "implied" at my workplace too - I'm actually surprised I'm managing to get away with NOT wearing it considering a) how bad my acne is, and b) how image-conscious my company is. I told both my boss and supervisor that my face starts itching really terribly when I wear makeup and that my derma recommended I lay off it. Surprisingly, they were both pretty sympathetic and agreed that was probably for the best. So you never know
  8. I'm glad to hear you're back out there again. It must be nice, albeit obviously a little daunting. Sorry to hear you're breaking out post-Accutane... I think that would be my worst nightmare, honestly Is it a big breakout? I'm taking Accutane as well and my derma is probably referring me to a psychiatrist soon because I'm not coping very well with acne at all. So hopefully I'll be able to get help soon, thank you.
  9. Not going to lie man, I'm actually pretty jealous of you for this. At least count yourself lucky that you can just at home all day on the couch watching TV/movies and playing video games/going on your computer. I for one don't have that particular luxury I hear it from my parents everyday. Telling me to get a job and how i wasted my life. Id rather be outside than at home. Forgive me for pointing out the obvious, but if that's really the case then couldn't you just... go outside then? My conce
  10. *takes deep breath* Okay, changed my mind AGAIN, I am doing this after all. Thanks to everybody who responded so far Sorry for the wishy-washyness.
  11. ...so basically you just started this topic to make people feel bad (and rub it in their faces) for picking when they (yes they, not you) really can't help it? I'm not even a picker (at all) and still I think you're coming off like (whether intentionally or not) kind of a jerk here.
  12. Not going to lie man, I'm actually pretty jealous of you for this. At least count yourself lucky that you can just at home all day on the couch watching TV/movies and playing video games/going on your computer. I for one don't have that particular luxury
  13. I feel like I look pretty damn hideous with my acne too. But the thought that keeps me from skipping work is this, that I'm just going to accept that I'm ugly right now. Like, there's really no question about it - I'm not going to sit around secretly hoping that some passerby is going to look at me and find me pretty despite my acne. Because there's no hope, I really just no longer give a f*ck for the most part. I've developed social anxiety since acne started so I don't interact with people of
  14. I actually think it's funny that people often refer to teenage years as "the best years of your life." I've met very few people who've actually felt that way - it's just that teenage years often look great only in retrospect because they're really the only time in your life (for Western culture, anyway) you can live at home with the live-in maid service that is your parents and (if you're like "most" people) just bum around time without having to worry about making money just yet. But teenagers
  15. I've definitely been experiencing increased constipation on Accutane - I don't have the same problem you do with the painful bowel movements, but I'm not regular at all. I used to go about once every other day and now I can only go about twice a week. I have no idea how to answer your dosage question, but I wouldn't be surprised if Accutane did affect bowel movements because it "sucks" so much of the oil/liquid out of your body (so to speak).
  16. There's a difference between being not-too-good-looking and actively ugly. If you have to get over being not-too-good-looking, then just remember that you're in the same boat as the vast majority of people - only a small percentage of lucky ducks out there get to be objectively very attractive. If you're actively ugly, then I genuinely have no idea. I think a lot of people out there and particularly on a forum such as this one would want to deny the possibility of anybody being actually ugly
  17. You're not on your own. I can't say that I really know who I am either. I mean, I was always "the kid with acne". Nobody knew me for anything else because I didn't put any other side of me out there and I wasn't strong enough to influence or change their perceptions. So I take the acne out of the picture - hope so anyway, really making great progress these days - and I don't know who I am if I'm no longer defining myself by that. Not to worry though, plenty of time to figure that out as life m
  18. Good luck with the Accutane! I'm on it now and it's really not much fun, but it seems to have gotten rid of at least 60% of my acne so I hope you have good results with it and get back to your pretty 19-year-old self Everybody in my life has actually been very nice about my acne so far - my parents have been very supportive and my friends very sympathetic. But they're nice to me because we've got reserves of good will built up over the years. On the other hand, I think this must be some kind of
  19. Eh, I personally feel like accepting it would probably be a lot less... well, misery-inducing than staying miserable. Have you thought about getting laser work/peels if you're worried about the scarring? Yes it might take a while, but it's better than taking... a longer while. (Wow, I am bad at being optimistic.) At the risk of sounding a little sexist, I think men's prime years last a lot longer than women's prime years. So unless you're nearing 50, I think you still probably have a decent
  20. In the spirit of American Thanksgiving (even though I'm technically not American), I thought I'd open up this post. I wasn't sure whether to post this here or in the lounge at first, but I figured that perhaps it helps to remind yourself of what you have to be grateful for, especially when you're having a particularly low day because of your acne... so I ended up posting here. Things I'm thankful for: 1. My family. These days especially I've been almost unbearable to be around, but my pa
  21. First of all, I just wanted to say: I'm really glad to hear you're doing well with the group treatment! I remember you talking about how social interaction was really difficult for you in the past, so it warms my heart to know that things are getting much better in that respect. Sometimes I wonder if I want too much. I want to be physically happy with myself, I want to be emotionally happy with myself, I want to have a fairly lucrative career and I want to be outgoing and social. With the except
  22. OP, I am so sorry I can definitely sympathize with a lot of this. I don't really know how to answer your question because I'm still figuring it out. I think the thing that helps the most is trying to distract yourself and getting immersed in the moments where you lose self-consciousness. Maybe watch a very absorbing show, read a very absorbing book - try to help somebody else with their problems instead so you can better forget about your own. In the end, keep reminding yourself that all th
  23. Congrats on being clear, and thanks for opening up this post! I'm sure a lot of members will find it very useful. Question: did you get any laser work/chemical peels done on your red/dark marks and scarring? How long did it take for those to finally fade? How about other side effects in general?
  24. I've been mulling things over these past few days and it occurs to me that perhaps what I'm most afraid of is how big a chunk acne is going to end up taking out of my life. Hopefully I've posted this in the right forum, but I want to ask though of you who have recovered (or mostly recovered) from acne either physically or emotionally/psychologically (or both!) - how long did it take you and what was the recovery process like? I ask because I'm afraid that even post-Accutane, post lasers, pos