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  1. I'm feeling exactly this. I've had this from the beginning, but I tried not to be concerned. I've just finished 4 months. It has never become worse and I have been struggling with BAD sinuses for a long time. My headaches increase when other people get sinus headaches, too, so I manage to avoid getting worried about it. None of them have been severe, either. And when I move around, I feel nothing, usually.
  2. I feel pretty much every negative emotion all of the time now. I honestly don't remember what it's like to be relaxed, confident, and happy. It's so sad. I do have skin envy. And self-pity, self-hatred, devastation, fear, anxiety, depression, and on and on. I know that this underlying current of low self-esteem was there before the acne, but that's all it was - a small trickle that would sometimes drop into my life here and there. I get that. But, now, it has completely taken over me beca
  3. Sounds way too familiarly. I, too, am on month 4. It's not really getting better. What upsets me most is my scarring. I'm a female, and people are not friendly to girls who look like I do. But I've basically been living what you describe. Can't stand being around other people. When I am, all I want to do is run home and cry. Leaving my house at all is such a monumental effort. I had a month, at the beginning of Accutane, when I was feeling so much better. I thought there was hope. But
  4. I refuse to look. Makes for some awkward moments, but I'm not that shy about the fact that I don't look anymore. It's been a year (except for some HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE moments here and there) that I refuse to look. I spent a year before that only looking at myself in very dim lighting without my glasses (I have pretty bad eyesight - 4.75 and - 5.25). Then, as things got worse, I had to stop all together. Its kind of difficult to keep from looking in the beginning, but after awhile it is simpl
  5. It's hard to find a good doctor. When I was finally ready to do Accutane, I went to 5 (!!!) dermatologists in a matter of weeks until I found one that I liked. I've actually seen 2 doctors at that office now and they were both great. Very sympathetic, very thorough. I haven't opened up much with them, but they're good to me. I've just had it up to my eyeballs with stupid doctors. I did open up to my most recent esthetician. She kept trying to make me look in the mirror after she did a t
  6. I have been on Accutane for 4 months now. I started getting a red face right away. My doctor said it's perfectly normal and they call it the "Accutane Glow". It just pisses me off, because it accentuates every scar I've ever had, and it also highlights hyperpigmentation I received from Levulan treatments over a year ago. Not that it really matters. My face is messed up one way or another! I was told it wouldn't go away until you've been off of Accutane for awhile.
  7. Thank you so much for posting all of the information about your procedure and results. I have spent the last year devastated that my face has become so scarred, and have just spiraled into deeper and deeper depression as doctor after doctor after doctor tells me that there's nothing they can do. I am in the US but will gladly save up and travel to get this kind of work done. You've given me hope. I have to say that I can totally understand those who were negative. Not that they really wan
  8. Hey guys. Yeah, I definitely went to the dermatologist as quickly as I realized that I had impetigo. IT HURTS! but my pimples are so gross and so painful that I had the infection for over a week before I realized it wasn't just a normal breakout. I didn't even know I had an infection all over my face on top of the impetigo until the derm pointed it out. I just thought my peel was extra harsh (which it was). But I think the infection was there as soon as I peeled. I just knew it wasn't righ
  9. So I've been getting Levulan treatments for my acne, and I just completed my 4th one (they're not working, by the way, for those interested). Anyway, that 7 - 10 days when my skin is burnt to hell, swollen, and peeling, I am so freaking calm and happy. It's a little vacation from the trainwreck that is my face. I know that I'm working on the problem - even if it's not actually doing anything, my face is swollen, and to be honest, I kind of like the burning sensation. I think it's part of the
  10. Mine's bad. Scarring is bad. My face looks like cottage cheese/orange peel with cysts on top. Red marks EVERYWHERE. Deeper ice picks and pitted scars on the cheeks, forehead, and temples. People stare. People make comments. Old ladies LOVE to approach me and tell me that I need to do, such such and such to cure myself. The most common comment I hear is "It's such a shame...." The rest of the time, people don't interact with me at all. My mother lies to me constantly and tells me I'
  11. Actually, impetigo is quite contagious. That's how you get it in the first place. I was getting recurring impetigo infections (and acne at the same time, too) for years. I realized I was getting it from my dogs. Usually it does come from animals - cows, often, but I'm not in the habit of cuddling with cows. Anyway, if you ever get it again, try to see where it could possibly be coming from. It could be a simple solution to make sure you never get it again.
  12. Yeah, that. Except up it to 100% of my waking hours and all of the moments I wake up during the night. It has ruined my life.
  13. Many years ago, when I was about to go on birth control, I discussed it with my boss. I just explained to her that I would be experimenting with birth control for my acne for the next...however long...and that if I were acting weird, or emotional, that the birth control would probably be to blame. We weren't "close" but I just wanted to give her a heads up in case I started crying for no good reaon. She actually appreciated it a lot. If you feel your manager will be understanding, I think it
  14. I watched this yesterday, as well. While I won't disagree that they have BDD, I also think they suffer from Spoiled Brat Syndrome even more. If you genuinely hate your face, you're not going to pursue modeling. If you really hate your face, you aren't going to spend hours doing your makeup and making it perfect while claiming that you can't go out and get a job. Or maybe you would, I don't really know. Having men on the show who suffer BDD would probably add a whole new perspective to audie
  15. They are! I avoid mirrors, except when I become very curious or become confident enough to believe I might be better off than I think I am. That usually ends up very badly. I stopped wearing makeup, stopped wearing contacts, and I haven't had my hair cut in over a year. I have put in very, very dim lamps into the bathrooms and turn them on to the darkest setting and take my glasses off every time I go into the bathroom. I am very, very blind, which I am grateful for right now. I can look a