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Bodie81 last won the day on February 14 2014

Bodie81 had the most liked content!

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About Bodie81

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  • Birthday 02/15/1973

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  1. Hardly ever come on here any more but as I`ve recently received a couple of PMs from members on here, just thought I would post to let everyone know how I`m getting on these days. Acne wise my skin isn`t perfect but I`ve reached a stage in my life where I don`t really care that much any more. Having slightly less than perfect skin doesn`t define me or make me a lesser person. I don`t have masses of self-worth or self-esteem but I believe I`m inherently a good person irrespective of my skin.
  2. It`s been a while since I`ve posted on these forums, there has been lots of things happening in my life of late - hopefully changes for the better. I`ve been been really ill mentally to the point that in mid January, I had made a plan to end things. It was only after speaking to a CPN after my GP put in an urgent referral for me to a Community Mental Health Team that I was persuaded to not go through with the plan. It has been a really tough time but I`m starting to feel much better now.
  3. I developed the Orthorexia when I was around 17 years old after getting into holistic medicine, due to what else... acne. There was a time when it got so severe I was eating absolutely nothing but spinach and those "kooky supplements" for well over 8 months, I have no idea how I even survived looking back. I also did a radical colon cleanse suggested by a quack holistic doctor that literally almost killed me. Bubble55 I`m sorry to hear that, I hope you are recovering now. For many years, I
  4. Over the years at various stages:- Depression Anxiety Agoraphobia BDD Acne Dysmorphia Borderline Personality Disorder (not yet diagnosed but my CPN thinks I fit the bill due to my erratic behaviour in recent times.) Othorexia Nervosa (eating disorder) Trichotillomania The last two or three months have been hell and I`ve become very ill and depressed. I`ve behaved appallingly and lost a real life friend because I bailed out on him and an online friend as well. I`m getting help now
  5. My neck has broken out quite a bit in the past day or two - so frustrating as I`m continuing to still get clear periods and then break out randomly. One thing I have discovered though is that diet doesn`t seem to have quite as much of an impact as I`ve always thought it had. That is quite a big turnaround for me as I`ve always been overly obsessive with diet. Hope this breakout clears up soon. In all other aspects I`m doing quite well and not feeling quite as depressed as I was.Think it is r
  6. I remember many years ago when I was physically attacked because of having acne, I felt disgustingly dirty, as well as repulsive, hideous and ugly. The thing to remember though is that any feelings of being dirty because of having acne are precisely that - feelings and not a physical or an actual fact. It is a purely psychological response but the reality is that acne is not a condition that makes you dirty or is caused by poor hygiene. If you can try to remind yourself of that.
  7. Skin is doing a little better and I`m starting to eat meals instead of just junk all the time so maybe the increase in nutrients in my diet is helping. Not acne related but on Wednesday, I attended a peer support group meeting through an organisation called Depression Alliance - a UK based mental health charity. It was pretty nerve-wracking beforehand but having gone along, actively participated in the discussions and interacted with some of the other attendees, I`m so pleased that I went. Subs
  8. I`ve really broken out on my right jawline today and I`ve got a cyst under my right eye too. The recent lack of care over my diet and cleansing routine is catching up with me now. I look dreadful and thoroughly dislike everything about myself right now. Not been a good day to say the least.
  9. QuietJamie, bright daylight and artificial lighting can magnify any imperfections real or perceived tenfold in your own mind. If anyone was to see you in bright daylight, I`m betting that they wouldn`t study you in the amount of detail that you did yesterday when you were at the barbers. I know myself how just one bad experience can really set you back. I`ve done CBT in the past and although that has helped, I still get days where the inner voice in my head that tells me that I`m a hideous,
  10. Moonlit, I just wanted to say that I`m really pleased for you that you feel that your acne may finally be under control. The breakout last summer was indeed a horrible experience but if it was caused by the sertraline as you suspect, the one small crumb of comfort that you can take is that you are almost certainly guaranteed to never break out like that again. I`m sorry that it has left psychological scars. What I would say however is that the negative thoughts that you often have had about your
  11. I can`t use the quote feature either. There also seems to be problems with the editor option buttons when typing a PM or a post. I`ve found that I can`t use the paste clipboards and the hyperlink insert buttons.
  12. I`m having problems with quotes too! Quiet Jamie, sorry that the experience at the barbers was so negative for you today. The lighting in barbers is particularly harsh and I`m pretty sure that it distorted your view and perception of yourself and your skin. If you were really a monster and as disgusting as you say you are, the hairdresser would have refused to cut your hair. It sounds as though you have been doing really well of late with confidence, your job and meeting new people. It`s
  13. Not sure if I`m allowed to do this but I`ve noticed a few people (especially from the UK) have been posting on this thread about depression and anxiety. Last night I discovered a website called No More Panic. It is very comprehensive and has forums on all types of anxiety, depression and other health issues and even has sub-forums for individual anti-depressants such as citalopram, sertraline etc. There is a wealth of information and support on there. For some reason, I don`t seem to be able to
  14. Skin is a little better and cyst on temple is going but I`m still continuing to eat appallingly, On the MH side of things, I`m not doing too great and did something that was stupid in the early hours of this morning and ended up sleeping for most of the day. Everything has gone completely wrong (my fault entirely) and even when I try to do the right thing these days, I get it all wrong. Six months ago, everything looked so optimistic and I had all these grand plans and since then, my life has ju
  15. Think my appalling diet of late is finally catching up with me as I have a massive cyst forming on my left temple and my neck, jawlines and sideburn areas are breaking out a little. I look pretty horrid tonight and it has not helped my mood. Feeling pretty sad,low and isolated and full of self-hatred and self-loathing. Wish I was a better person inside and out. Just as an aside and something totally unrelated, I have today heard that somebody I know has suffered a truly devastating personal