This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.
Posted June 6, 2007
Wow. That's just really funny.
Just to let the ladies know, my sperm is available for your regimen.
"Blood and gore rained down from the sky. An age of carnage was dawning ... its about time things got interesting"
tims a retard
1/2 of the Wierd Metal Guys at the .Org Highschool
Calibos: "PRESENTING SUPER GOD!!!! in todays adventure, there is an orphange burning down, but god gave them free will, so they deserve to die, so he wont save them....."
i accidentally came on this girls face one time. it was a one night stand. i was like sorry. she was no, it keeps the skin clear and she rubbed it in. she didnt have any acne but large pores.
i'll try putting my jizz on my own face and see how it works. will cum back here to report.
i accidentally came on this girls face one time. it was a one night stand. i was like sorry. she was no, it keeps the skin clear and she rubbed it in. she didnt have any acne but large pores.i'll try putting my jizz on my own face and see how it works. will cum back here to report.
The Following is a JOKE. I posted it here so the OP could read it and get a laugh. All were originally posted in my own thread, but of course it was hypocritically closed.
***********Announcing my new semen product line for acne***********
The healing benefits and anti-acne properties of semen have long established. Many married woman have incorporated it into their weekly routine and regard it as their secret weapon against acne. In fact, many famous celebrities swear by it. Known in the circles of Beverly Hills dermatologists for years, this secret of Hollywood is now available to each and every one of you!
While some choose to wear it like a facial, others simply swallow. However the real dilemma is how to get your hands on it. Let's face it, all the gender equality in the world doesn't change the fact that women still cannot produce semen. While this doesn't present a problem for married folk, there are many younger women who do not have the steady supply of semen that is needed for this regimen.
Sure, one night stands can help control a break out already in progress. But landing a man at a club is not the easiest thing to do with a face full of ackers! To get the worry free benefits of dewy clear skin day after day a woman truly needs a steady supply of semen. And now for the first time there is a dedicated line of sperm-based products.
Think about it. Everything you need to survive and flourish is made by the body. Well not exactly. Some of the things you need are made by the male body, and vice versa. Acne was not a problem in prehistoric times. Women mated for life at an early age, usually during puberty. And therefore were guaranteed a steady supply of semen for life.
However times have changed. Many women stay single and relatively celibate. Even married woman are not getting their daily dose of semen. There are many reasons: time constraints, embarrassment, lack of knowledge, or even self doubt. Well rest assured. Our line of sperm-based products cums with a satisfaction guarantee.
If our semen does not reduce your acne and put a smile on your face we will gladly refund your money AND take you out for dinner and a movie. So what are you waiting for? PM us now and have your first bottle on us*^.
*For your privacy and protection all semen is guaranteed to have been ejaculated fresh within the past 24 hours. All packages are wrapped in plain brown paper and shipped FedEx overnight.
^Must be 18 or older or have parents permission.
Wow. Not even ten minutes into posting and we've already sold out of our initial supply. Just goes to show you that semen works!
Due to this overwhelming response we are now booking orders 48 hours in advance.
Men, we are also looking for regional distributors throughout the country. This is a great money making opportunity for students, stay-at-home fathers, and pockmarked shut-ins. Earn a living while helping others get rid of troublesome acne. PM us now for details^.
What an incredible response we are getting. Did I forget to mention our do it yourself program kit for couples? PM for details.
I know what you are saying. What about price?! "But I've already spent thousands of dollars on products that don't work."
Well, for only $19.95 a month you get access to one of the most complete and comprehensive semen programs out there. Long gone are the days of the "milkman" you say? Not anymore! We guarantee a daily delivery of semen right to your door every morning. And no embarrassing empty bottles at the curb!
So don't delay. The Semen Skin Regimen is backed by our 110% guarantee. Not only will we refund your entire purchase and shipping cost. We will take you out to a nice dinner and movie of your choice. Act now while supplies last!
A half hour on the market and the testimonials are pouring in!
"I couldn't believe how quickly my semen arrived. One minute I was ordering online; the next there was a knock at the door. It was my regional distributor. He asked to use the bathroom and next thing you know he had a jar full of semen for me. Thank you SSR! I will be in touch with the results . . ."
"My friendly neighborhood semen donor was right over to answer all my questions. After a long discussion which, included a nice seafood dinner at a fancy restaurant, I opted for the 'live pop.' The SSR rep assured me this was the best way to ensure I got the freshest semen onto my acne without contaminating it with my fingers. I can feel it working already. Thank you SSR!"
Let's keep it clean folks. The Semen Skin Regimen is strong supporter of traditional American family values and good old fashioned Puritan prudes. Furthermore we support child advocacy and the right for all people of all ages to enjoy the benefits of the Semen Skin Regimen.
That's why I am pleased to announce the Semen Skin Regimen for Kids. We are currently working with legislators and lawmakers to hash out the details. But rest assured the purified formula is already making its way through round three clinical trials over at the FDA.
Per discussions with the extreme right and religious zealots, the SSRK will contain no secretions from sexual organs. There will be no active semen and only trace amounts of prostate juice (due it's proximity to the anus it is considered non-kosher by the Jewish community). What we have left is a mixture of only the finest interstitial fluid and irradiated, micron filter strained semen money can buy.
Stay tuned for further developments as they occur.
The Semen Skin Regimen strongly discourages acne prone males from "going into business for themselves." While this may seem like a good idea at first you will soon discover the misfortune of your error.
There is a reason most dealers don't snort from their own stash. Likewise, supplying your own semen is a dangerous proposition. You cannot ignore the mountains of clinical evidence showing a direct relationship between rate of masturbation and acne. Yes, this is arguably the freshest semen you can get. And yes, the exact DNA match leaves little room for transplant rejection. However, you will never get clear this way.
Masturbation leads to acne and semen treats the acne. It's a vicious cycle best left to us professionals. However if you would like to become a regional distributor we are still looking. As of this posting there are several spots open in the Alaskan frontier region and two in the Tijuana, Mexico greater metropolitan area. PM for details.
The Semen Skin Regimen would like to point out that nothing in our postings violates the terms and conditions of acne.org. Founder and CEO, TheyCanBeCured, likes to point out that information can be presented in a funny and satirical way, while also providing entertainment value for lounge subscribers.
To date, the SSR has helped dozens of acne.org'ers to get a laugh while cuming to their own conclusions about the nonsensical amount of postings on this site with regards to the dangers of masturbation and the benefits of semen.
Posted September 9, 2007
I'm somewhat tempted to try it. But, it does seem like it would be more drying than anything, and BP dries enough as it is ...
Minocycline saved my skin.
Makes sense !
Thats the reason guys don get acne on their pistol!lol
WE may Go through either happiness or Sorrow ....
but from wherever we go ..
We should go through with our own good will.
did you ask your friend if ingesting sperm produced similar results?
dessert essence jojoba oil, purpose gentle cleansing wash, paula's choice 1% BHA gel (to unclog pores), acne.org 2.5% benzoyl peroxide gel, complex 15 moisturizing lotion
throughout the day as needed
alpha hydrox enhanced lotion, generic oil absorbing sheets, 200 mg ibuprofen
dessert essence jojoba oil, purpose gentle cleansing wash, paula's choice 1% BHA gel (to unclog pores), acne.org 2.5% benzoyl peroxide gel, cetaphil moisturizing cream mixed with jojoba oil
whole grains, fresh fish, fresh poultry, fresh vegetables, lots of water, low cholesterol, low salt, no red meat, no trans fats, no hydrogenated oils, no sugar, no processed grains
DAILY DIETARY SUPPLEMENTS
3000 mg whole food multi-vitamins, 1000 mg sustained release pantothenic acid, 1000 mg salmon oil (120 mg EPA, 20 mg DHA), 540 mg saw palmetto, 500 mcg chromium picolinate, 470 mg green tea extract, 400 mg turmeric extract, 300 mcg biotin, 50 mg zinc, 2 mg copper, calcium-magnesium complex
my dkr log
my diet/holistic log
resolving stubborn acne while on dan's regimen
You won't likely be getting a response. SemenSkinRegimen was permantly suspended months ago.
"I believe that when we leave a place, part of it goes with us and part of us remains. Long after we are gone .. our voices will linger in these walls for as long as this place remains."- Gkar, Objects in Motion
"I believe our future depends powerfully on how well we understand this cosmos. The sky calls to us, if we do not destroy ourselves." - Carl Sagan
Posted September 24, 2007
a chick actually told me this works, like 5 years ago. she has perfect skin and her sister is severely pockmarked. i don't know if she does it (i forget what she said), but her skin is perfect.
i'd rather have the pimplez.
will step on u
Posted October 19, 2007
I really don't think that humans are meant to cum twice a day
Whaa? Why not? If there's chemisry and time...
well i wont be on here anymore, so bye all, goodluck.
Posted October 22, 2007
I'd try it but just on a pimple or two, whole face would be a sticky mess btw I'm taking zinc supps and unfortunately I'm seeing no difference in acne.
lol honestly, i thought for a second you were trying to get a BJ lOL i know sorry.
this thread is hilarious.... i canr5 stopp lauefhinggg
reason why you shouldnt do this) If incase you and your boyfriend/husband get in a verbal insult battle, he'd say something about the situation and maybe joke about it and say no more for you bitch or soemthing haha lol... well thats why you shudnt do it.
Any other reason you wouldnt do this would just be because of dislike in the senses.
sure it can be really good for your skin and what not. it's not like its toxic so theres no reason for me or anyone to be completely against it, but the means of getting it, and other reasons are the "catch".
*whistles away while listening to Camron - Suck it or not"
Posted October 27, 2007
Why don't we just analyze which chemicals in sperm is resposible for fighting acne and then just get them in the right proportions instead of using real sperm hehehe.
Posted October 29, 2007
Sorry if this is a repeat by any chance...So, yesterday I talked with a woman that is 35 and who has really beautiful skin. She told me that she has been battleing acne since she was 14, right until 5 years ago. I asked for her secret, and she told me that at least 4 times a week she takes her husband's sperm (I don't think I need to explain how? ) and she puts it on her skin for at least half an hour (eew?)She claims it has done wonders not just for her acne but also wrinkles. Does this sound a bit far fetched? Anyone tried it?P.S. If it worked for someone else, then while I'm at it, I'd like to say that I'm single and available
So, yesterday I talked with a woman that is 35 and who has really beautiful skin.
She told me that she has been battleing acne since she was 14, right until 5 years ago.
I asked for her secret, and she told me that at least 4 times a week she takes her husband's sperm (I don't think I need to explain how? ) and she puts it on her skin for at least half an hour (eew?)
She claims it has done wonders not just for her acne but also wrinkles.
Does this sound a bit far fetched? Anyone tried it?
P.S. If it worked for someone else, then while I'm at it, I'd like to say that I'm single and available
Posted October 31, 2007
Perhaps this is a little to personal, but it is the ADULT acne forum after all, so I'll go ahead and say it.
In my experience, the opposite is true. Semen breaks me out. In fact, I had a mysterious rash of butt zits one time, and was really confused and grossed out because I had no idea what was going on, I've never had butt zits before and I was getting many of them, at once, in clusters. It took me awhile to realize that it was related to a, uh, phase my boyfriend was going through. Considering the effects on a part of my body I'd never had acne before, I don't even want to know what would happen if I allowed the stuff on my face regularly. Now when I go to my boyfriend's apartment I bring makeup remover towelettes just in case, so I'll have a way to clean up.
I can't believe I'm actually typing this out for a skincare community...lol.
Sorry if I ruined any guy's chances at helping out with this theory But I thought my experiences might be valuable before anyone goes letting themselves be coated with the stuff thinking it will clear them up. Whole protein molecules can't be absorbed by the skin, therefore that's probably not what's helping. Unless you enjoy the process, you're probably better off with a zinc oxide sunscreen and a good moisturizer. I will say, however, that it has a very silky texture, and if it weren't smelly and comedogenic, might make a nice serum or primer.
Posted November 28, 2007
It aint the sperm, folks, so your sperm count and the lifespan of sperm are irrelevant. Sperm is almost entirely DNA. It's the semen that carries the zinc, protein, and other nutrients. Seriously, though, several anecdotes doesn't mean this shit actually does anything. I'm all for women swallowing or rubbing my semen into their faces, but it aint like there's anything special in it. The main ingredients: vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, citric acid, creatine, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, sodium, vitamin B12, and zinc. The protein content in an average ejaculation (somewhere around 7cc, I believe) is about that of one egg white.
Seriously, though, several anecdotes doesn't mean this shit actually does anything. I'm all for women swallowing or rubbing my semen into their faces, but it aint like there's anything special in it. The main ingredients: vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, citric acid, creatine, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, sodium, vitamin B12, and zinc. The protein content in an average ejaculation (somewhere around 7cc, I believe) is about that of one egg white.
Posted April 9, 2008
This has to be the funniest thread I've read in a long time
not sure if someone said this..
but swallowing sperm might work as an internal medicine.
Posted April 14, 2008
Jerking off always made my skin worst in the following one to two days.
I held off for a week and my skin cleared up greatly. It's difficult tho. But I prefer to avoid it and have clear skin.
We'll see by next Friday if my skin is better. I always felt like unloading semen meant that I was wasting away a lot of minerals/vitamins my body would have used otherwise, and I'm a big shooter so I'm sure there is a link.
Posted June 25, 2008
100% prooved fact
Month 1: 80mg
Wash face with Cetaphil
I avoid Dairy products & eat tons of fruits & veggies.
This can't be true.
Posted July 14, 2008
I've been trying this tonight for the second night in a row, and have seen some results. The few pimples that were breaking out on my forehead and many others have dried last night. Who ever knew making medicine could feel so good lol. anyway, as erotic as it sounds, I apply it for a half hour, then wash it off using my Nivea sensitive skin wash. (I used to use a 10% benzoil peroxide wash that my dermatologist prescribed, but I felt it was irritating my skin more, and causing the breakouts. My skin is more normal than oily.) Then I apply the sodium sulfacetamide that he also prescribed and go to bed. I'll see how it works out in the morning. so far so good.
Posted July 15, 2008
u kno there was a episode on nip/tuck once about that. it was the episode that joan rivers guest starred in, and it was about how Julia and her partner bottled up moisturizer with semen in it, and sold it off. in the show it worked wonders, so maybe the claim isn't as far fetched as everyone thinks lol