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  1. Hello. First of all, don't get too excited if you're in a similar situation to me and were hoping this post would hold the fix for long-term (Ro)accutane damage. I just wanted to express my situation and see if anyone can help. I'm bored of reading depressing no-way-out answers and I refuse to give up and stop trying to fix myself. I'm also not inviting those who say the side effects aren't caused by this drug - I am 100% sure, and have read enough posts from others to know that Accutane isn't simply 'out' of your system after a month. I've read several theories into why things like IBS, Erectile Dysfunction and knee problems can occur months or years after stopping treatment. I'm talking about the liver storing the high-levels of Vitamin A, Accutane staying in the colon, and even something - which if it's true means only bad news - to do with DNA change and 'Telomere' shortening, which means a slow but sure decrease in health(This has been written by Nathan Carr, who you may of heard of). But I'm not writing to find out which of these theories, if any, is true. I want to see if anyone can actually give good advice on supplements/diet, or whatever else, to repair damage from this poison. Below, I will list the details of when I took this drug and what side effects I have + how I cope with life. One last thing - Anyone saying that these side effects are rare, i.e 1%, forget it. 1% reported. Since taking this drug, my life has been limited and difficult. I'm not in that 1% statistic because I haven't reported it directly to the manufacturer. I expect the figure is a lot higher. As I said, side effects can come on AFTER taking this, so people could be ignorant to the cause. However, I know better, and after watching my health drop dramatically while/after taking Accutane, I can firmly say it's the cause. Let's begin ... Basics: I'm 21 at the end of this month. It's now 5 years since I touched Ro-accutane (Ro-accutane is just the British name for it). I took it from December 2005 - May 2006. I was meant to finish in June, but stopped due to feeling very depressed/suicidal (because of the drug). My problems are below... - Dry Eyes (Severe) - E.D/ Low Libido (Started last year and has gone on consistently since) - Hair-loss (Including eyebrows, facial hair 'gaps' and body hair) - Slow Healing (Shaving is a pain now - No, it's not my technique) - Lack of sebum (oil) - Brain Fog/ Memory problems - Somewhat minor - Anxiety (mainly because of the other side effects - i.e. dry eyes causing me to feel embarassed about eye contact) - Excessive hair (Not related to head, but my beard grows high up on cheeks and even on the outside of my nose) - I believe I look older than I should due to lack of oil - Joint/Muscle problems - Aches/ Slow recovery - Excessive sweating.. Terrible if I go running at the gym, for example. - Dry mouth - Nosebleeds more than I should - Fatigue - Overall depression and confusion (*Rhetorical question* Is this a direct symptom or am I like it because of all the other side-effects stressing me out?) That's what I can think of for now. Of course, I wasn't told about half of these being a possibly problem and I was told any side-effects will be temporary. I was 15, so I had no reason not to trust the Doc's word. I've tried lots of different supplements (a lot of which I still take just incase they are helping/slowing down the problems) including Omega 3, Biotin, B-Complex, Vitamin E, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Collagen, Hyaluronic acid, Aloe Vera Juice, MSM, Colostrum, Garlic, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Acetyl L-Cysteine, Milk Thistle, Dandelion Root, Quercetin, Tumeric. So, yeah, I've tried a lot of things. The Milk Thistle and Dandelion Root are recent additions because despite having my liver test results come back as positive, I've heard your liver can still not be functioning correctly and people are given liver tests monthly while taking this drug for a reason, right? I'm starting to eat better foods as this sh*t taught me that Natural is the way to go. I still binge on cakes and that occasionally - Mainly for comfort. I'm average weight and height, but want to cut out processed foods to support my body. I don't want to make this EXTREMELY long, so I'll cut it short. I'm currently seeing a Homeopathy about these problems. And Yes, I know "Science says it's boll*cks", and I don't understand how it's supposed to work, but sometimes you have to think outside the box and give things a go. I don't have high hopes for things getting better these days, but I'm not giving up. There is so much more I could say, but let me know your thoughts. I don't want to hear negative and hopeless responses. What HAS helped you? seems to be the biggest place to speak about this, but we NEED the word out, so the 'experts' can do the research instead of hoping for someone else to fix us. Thanks for reading, Indy.
  2. What week is this?

    Hi everyone It has been a while that I haven't updated my new entry. So, my acne is still coming up on left cheek close to my mouth and two big cyst on my forehead. One in the centre and another one on my right. Before this there were 3 cyst on my forehead and a fews on my both left and right cheeks. All of them left red scars on my face. It makes me feel unhappy. I am losing my confidence. I don't know how does it come up or what causes it. I did apply benzac overnight and on the spot but lately it works less than excellent. Acne does not subsize as fast as it should. It begin to get red and dry then it comes up and left scar. It takes almost 2 or 3 weeks for me to elimiate a cyst. Very curious what happens.
  3. So today I woke up and saw hell growing on my face, I've missed collage for a week already so i had to go collage today, guess what I did, I decided to wear a mask to school, cuz last my class mate saw me I broke out but not as hell much fucked up as now, so I'd rather they look @ me as a weirdoe wearing a mask than ewwwwww! What the hell is going in on your face shit question . when ever anyone looks @ me without that mask they give a strange stare , I think they are thanking God this didn't happen to them, BT the plus to me is that my friends are beeing sympathic to me but I see a df in the way they look @ me b4 my acne and after acne, now it's hard for them to look @ my face, it's better for me that way though, I have like the worst acne in my collage so it's weird for them to see my face the way it is , it's really bad , for three days I thought that I was dreaming, I wished I could wake up from that dream but sadly it was reality, I think acne causes more depression than any other disease in this world, I can't look @ my face too in the mirror it's terrible il attach my pic for u guys to check and see my severity , I did my blood test to start on accutane, I hope all will go well. I'm not my self , sadly acne has changed me , from a bold handsome ,social,friendly down to earth guy, to a low self-esteem, inferior, anti-social, depressed loser. My battle with this horror begins...
  4. The last couple of days I have come to the conclusion that I will be Forever Alone forever. I'm too late in the dating game and will never marry and barely have a social life all thanks to acne and some other personal issues I had when I was younger. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to accept this and be content while seeing happy clear skinned people everywhere. Some of us are just cursed.
  5. im fifteen years old and i hate my acne. its only mild acne for me, but every single damn week new breakouts appear and i cant handle it anymore. im on the verge of breaking down and whenever i try and confront my mom about it she just ignores the fact and tells me that its ‘just a phase’. well, this phase is literally affecting my every day life and self esteem. i cant do anything anymore. i lost all motivation and i HATE how my happiness has to depend on the quality of my skin. i’ve tried everything. from face care routines to those face masks that are suppose to be beneficial for your skin but nothing is working. i dont plan on doing proactiv anytime soon because my friend said that it’ll make my skin oily, dry, and even cause more acne. ive become depressed and cant get out of bed anymore. i was always a morning bird, waking up at seven in the morning, but now it seems like ive just gave up trying on life.
  6. Hello guys, I’m a 19 year old who has severe acne scars caused by cystic, inflammatory acne. After a few years of dealing the pain of having this curse (started at about 13), I finally got put on Accutane (around age 16). While this cleared up all my acne, it came well too late. The damage was already done. I had a bunch of shallow scars left over from the terrible breakouts over the years. Now I’m left with the painful reminder everyday when I look in the mirror. My scars have kept me from going outside my bubble, meeting new people, starting relationships, etc. My life is pretty lonely, depressing, and flat out boring. I constantly obsess over my appearance every day. I suffer from low self-esteem among many things because of my face. And I’m really starting to lose hope. I just wanted you guys to see so maybe you can recommend what treatments would be best or to just give me any helpful advice. Anything would be appreciated. I’m under no delusion that my scars will ever go away completely, but any progress is something I’ll take. I’m on a budget as I’m attending college next fall and I’m currently unemployed, so laser treatments really aren’t an option for me. I’m pretty sure my scars are worse than the majority of people I’ve seen on here posting on this forum.
  7. Turning 22 next month and still have never kissed a girl or done anything for that matter. The thing is my skin is clear but my confidence is shot from the good 4 years I had severe acne. I just feel so inexperienced at this point that there is no reason to try. 15 year olds have more experience than me.
  8. Hey beautiful people, Hope you are all doing well. <3 I am new to this community, and a little lost on where to start from. I had plans to join a support group for this since forever, but for some reason, couldn’t muster enough courage to. I am battling acne for five years now, and it keeps fluctuating. I’ve tried different dermatologists, and they help to some extent, but my acne keeps coming back. Weirdly enough, it has affected me more than anyone would expect to, to the point of driving me suicidal. I have tried ways of emotional healing and being at peace, but nothing works permanently. No one believes how acne is one of the major contributors to my depression. I have tried therapy and have been on anti-depressants, and they made my situation worse. I can’t seem to see a way out, and I feel I’m just moving blindly, traumatically. People around me don’t really have much acne, and if they do, they cover it up with flawless makeup. I live with an emotionally abusive mom, who doesn’t let me use makeup, so that is out of the option as well. ( Before, someone suggests to get away from her, I’ve already tried, but she wields too much power legally for me to do so. ) Sorry for such a long post. I would love to talk to someone dealing with acne, it might help me to feel less lonely. Sending lots of strength, warmth and love to all of you. <3 Have a lovely day/night. <3
  9. Guys. Im looking for people to join me who feel strongly and passionately about the experience you have had with roaccutane. I was prescribed roaccutane on the NHS in Scotland in January 2014. I was on it for 6 months. Ever since I have finished. I've had depression, anxiety, dry thinning and brittle hair, constant dry lips, but the worst of all I have had severe severe IBS I literally couldn't work for 6 months because I go to the toilet about 15 times a day! Please guys. I really really want to find out about others experiences and maybe move forward with a lawsuit against the drug company. I totally understand that for so many people this drug has been amazing but unfortunately there is a huge amount of people that claim this has effectively ruined their lives. I being one of them really really want people to come forward because I genuinely feel like we deserve something wether it's compensation or an apology. I feel we deserve something, for so long I felt like I was going crazy but I'm not even 21 and what I've been through in the past 2 years it's like I've been completely robbed of my youth. I genuinely feel like a 40 year old. Please get in touch with me! X
  10. I am a 35-year old woman who has suffered with acne since the age of 17. I was a late-bloomer, an athlete, and an emotional basket-case. I was super skinny. I did well in school. Today, I am successful in my career as a counselor and behavior analyst. Anyone on the outside looking in might think my life is great. The only thing missing in most ppl's minds would be a husband/child/family. What most people don't know is how miserable I am. I have fought to get rid of my acne and discover the source of my acne and the source of other issues (struggling to lose weight, deal with menstrual irregularities, etc.) for going on 2 decades. September 2 years ago, my periods stopped for 4 months. I was on birth control and terrified that I was pregnant. Doc ran a few tests, everything was normal, said oh it's no big deal. Finally had a period. No more worrying. September of this past year, I decided I was sick of birth control. I couldn't lose weight. It wasn't controlling my acne. I stopped taking it. Then I went 6 months without a cycle. Then my acne got worse. Then I started growing hair where hair isn't supposed to grow. I was mortified. Doc ran tests, (I've taken more pregnancy tests than most women who are TRYING to conceive), thyroid, LH/FSH, among some others. LH/FSH ratio is 2:1 but doc says it is still in normal range. I finally say send me to a gyno. I'm convinced at that time that I have PCOS. She says I don't. Fast-forward to a gyno who takes me seriously and agrees I probably do have it. He runs an anti-muellerian (sp?) hormone test. It was in the normal range but above 4.5, which he says in his decades of practice (he's old y'all) has been indicative of PCOS. He says birth control will help symptoms but sends me to an endocrinologist for further testing to rule out other endo-disorders. I got the nexplanon implant before seeing the endo because my symptoms were out of control, and I started dating someone seriously & needed birth control. The endo was an a$$hat. He pretty much told me I was overweight, and there was nothing else wrong with me. He said that the AMH test my gyno did was normal, & that I did not have PCOS. He said he would test for that. He put me on metformin. He said lose weight. He was not helpful. I am not extremely overweight. I'm 5'7" and roughly 175 pounds. I've always been somewhat athletic and have a lean body. I've had breast augmentation because literally had no boobs before or after puberty. (36-double A...smaller than an A cup). I generally wear a size 8-10-12 depending on the clothing. Anyway, test results come back, and i have high DHEA-S. The letter from the endo says "based on this information and your menstrual irregularities, we can say you have PCOS." I wanted to punch the man in the face. Anyway, the metformin started making me sick. I had to stop taking it and got in to see the PA. I was 5 min late to that appointment (thank you acne that my makeup wouldnt hide), and they rescheduled me. I lost my cool and bawled my eyes out. My primary doc agreed to see me for the endocrine stuff now that I had a diagnosis. We talked about my options, trying metformin again, getting different birth control since my acne has gotten worse with nexplanon (it actually can raise androgens), trying supplements, ways to manage my diet, exercising, and getting a referral to the dermatologist. This has been going on now since January when the gyno said I have PCOS. It is about to be August, and I have my derm appt. Monday. I haven't stopped researching everything I can find about hyperandrogenism and PCOS and acne and hirsutism. Last night, I did for the first time about the anti-androgen medication (flutamide). Now I have been on accutane twice, spironolactone, every antibiotic under the sun, and spent thousands of dollars on topicals. Along the way, I've discovered I am allergic to benzoyl peroxide & macrolide antibiotics (z-paks and their relatives). I have had good months and bad months and in-between months, and I'm so sick and tired of this. I'm tired of it taking me almost 2 hours to go anywhere because of my face and hair. I'm tired of the effort. I'm tired of feeling lonely, depressed, and like I'm just not good enough. I've got acne on my face, scalp, neck, chest and bad acne scars all over, including my legs, bikini line and butt. Here is the thing that that upsets me most, why did it take so long (and take me advocating for myself) to get this diagnosis, why aren't my doctors talking to me about trying something a little more potent (like flutamide or its relatives in the antiandrogen world)? When will doctors realize that medical risks are sometimes necessary to ensure a person's emotional well-being? I am exhausted. I've cried my eyes out today. I've also punched a wall. I'm currently resisting throwing my phone because of the typing lag it is experiencing. I needed to vent and see if there is anyone else out there who feels as desperate as I do right now. Sorry for the long post.
  11. Never in my life i felt so down. Acne sucks. It is making me depressed and im crying while typing this. I need some words of encouragement. This may be long, but please take time to read, i somehow need to share this to somebody or else i'll break down. I used to have a very smooth and clear skin, but during summer before my 12th grade this year, i had a couple of pimples and bunch of comedones on my cheeks and forehead. They werent really noticeable unless you look at my face really close but it already bothered me a lot. By july, i realized it was already a mild acne. I tried a lot of otc facial washes and creams. Nothing worked! I tried to be positive and i just thought this was just a phase and maybe my hormones were just messin up with me. It will subside in the next few weeks. BUT LAST OCTOBER, IT GOT WORSE. I noticed that the comedones became inflamed and there are lots of tiny red bumps on both of my cheeks and forehead. My face feels so rough and my skin is so ugly under the sun or any bright lighting. I am a member of a dance troupe in my school. I used to be very confident and felt pretty every performance. But because of this acne i lose a lot of confidence and i felt ugly in front of people. I cant look into their eyes because i am afraid they will notice the pimples and spots on my face. I even consider leaving the troupe(still considering) I know what i have is nothing severe. But regardless of severeness, it is still acne and acne sucks! It ruins my self esteem! Last month, october, i talk to my mom and i broke down crying. I told her how stress i am and i guessed she felt the pain and suffering i have because the next day she took me to a dermatologist. She prescribed me 0.025% tretinion(every night) and clindamycin (2x a day). I follow what she said obediently. I experienced the redness, dryness and peeling. By the 4th week i thought i was finally clearing because my left cheek was finally smooth and bump free. My derm scheduled me for a follow up after a month. I went to my derm this nov. 10 and she said my face improved. I agreed because i did notice the difference. She told me to continue the tret and clindamycin and added a new cream , the super whitening complex to be put every night after the tretinion . I asked her if this will cause break out or if this has side effects, she said that no, this is purely for whitening and lightening the spots. BUT LAST WEEK, i had new bumps again! I am now on my 6th week and again my left cheek which i thought is finally clearing has new red bumps again. Also im experiencing peeling, dryness again and my face is so itchy most of the time. My right cheek still has bunch of red bumps and a lot of red spots that are very noticeable. I cant even put powder on my face because it is so dry and its peeling, the powder wont scatter evenly. I dont know why but maybe the tretinion cause this again? But i thought i passed that stage already during my 3rd week. I am so sad. I also skipped my dance practices. I refrain going outside as much as possible. I spent most of my time searching the net about this horrible acne, but nothing really helps. I had the obsession of looking in the mirror from time to time. My mom told me that im showing the signs and symptoms of depression. I do think so. Im trying to be optimistic but i cant help it. Every time i look in the mirror i felt worst and this acne fills my thoughts all day long, i cant focus on other things. I still continue the treatment. Im hoping to be better next week. I posted this because i want to know if some of you has the same or had been in the same situation as mine because i felt lonely and alone. I miss my beautiful skin.
  12. Tell me how you did it. Your acne journey. Since when did you got it? what makes it worse? is it severe or mild? for how long have you been suffering? How have people been treating you? And if you had succeeded, how did you do it? Natural or with the help or medications? Is it cleared 100%? Go on, just tell me everything. Let it all out
  13. Life after acne

    Hey guys, I really want to crete a conversation about life after acne (once you cure/temporary fix your acne). This is a topic that is not discussed a lot and i think its important. I have been acne free for 1 year and i no longer have any pigmentation either. I no longer find the need to wear makeup, and i never worry about my skin anymore. I remember when i had acne i was self-conscious and i would tell myself "when i have clear skin i will have no worries." The truth is yes you may not be conscious about your skin, but other insecurities appear.I realised that i no longer obsess with my skin, instead i would be conscious about my weight or how thin my hair is. Its important to mention that i am on birth control (what fixed my acne) and i have gained 15 pounds, have a headache everyday and my hair is thin. However, the fear of going off birth control and have my acne back is still strong. I guess what i want to get out, is that i find that once you fix one problem, another becomes obvious. thats what makes us human. I have learnt to love myself and i think thats the real cure. I have been off birth control for a week and my hair is great again, my headaches are gone and i have lost alot of water weight. My acne may come back, but at this point i've decided to deal with it. I would love to hear everyone else's experience of 'life after acne' or even if you have temporarily fixed your skin issues.
  14. Some of guys use this topic as chat and write sometimes completety useless thoughts. Many informations was mentioned dozens time. Whats why we have so many trash pages. Please write only significant revelations, tests and improvements during/after treatment.
  15. Hi im thinking about going on accutane, a low dose but the problem is is that I suffer with depression. I’m on medication for it but I’m worried they will say I can’t go on accutane as it’s a side effect that it could get much worse
  16. Help with my acne please!!

    Hi there guys I was just wondering if someone could tell me what severity of acne I have. I have had acne since I was about 12-13 much worse than it is now. Currently I use epiduo every night with aveeno moisturiser afterwards and I use a black pore mask once a week. However despite this I continue to suffer with large red pimples under the skin that are painful and take a long time to go away. Does anyone have any tips to help get rid of these because they make me extremely unhappy and make me not want to show my face at times. Thanks a lot any help would be appreciated.
  17. (For the explanation of the topic itself, skip to the button.) Honestly if no one reads this, it's ok. Too long, didn't read for you? It's ok. I don't blame you. I know, it's really long. I just need to get these emotions out. I wanted to do this many times before, but I didn't, and now here I type. History of me and my acne (if uninterested, feel free to skip) I need to pour all of these emotions out somewhere. I'm tired of locking myself up in my room and screaming silently and crying and hating myself. And I wanna see if anyone else feels the same or is going through the same thing. I never thought that I'd be posting here. A couple months ago, I never even knew that websites like these existed. Why? Let me begin. I used to have a flawless, clear, acne-free face (except for blackheads, but they were barely noticable). I had acne during the 5th grade, but I was young and didn't care that much, and once in 6th grade I don't recall ever having acne (except for once in a while, and the acne would always disappear in a matter of days, and the worst scarring I got went away completely in a month). All the way until 11th grade, I had a clear skin and people would wonder what I was using on my face. Girls were jealous. I used Clean n Clear all those years, and it worked wonders. But then I made the mistake of trying a different acne wash for my face, to try to get rid of my blackheads. Then acne appeared, and I made the mistake of popping one, and it scarred for months. I continued using that different acne wash because it promised to get rid of acne scars, but it just gave me more acne, and the acne scar was still there. So I went to the dermatologist. I was an idiot and freaked out when the medication made me break out, even though the dermatologist already told me that it'd get worse before getting better. I stopped the medication after three weeks and went back to Clean n Clear for a week. Didn't work. Then I switched to another dermatologist, the one that cured my brother of his acne in a matter of one month. And here I am, with the medication causing tiny red bumps ALL OVER MY CHEEKS, even on the places where it'd been clear. I also have rather big brown-ish acne scars, and some more acne appearing. My right cheek is a lot worse than my left. Left cheek used to be almost clear (only a couple acne) before dermatologist came in. Now my left cheek is all covered. My chin is beginning to get affected, already two places scarred (though they're small but noticable). It's been five months now of acne destroying my life. On the fifth month, my skin is at its most terrible condition. How acne affected my life I'm not over-stating it when I say that it completely changed my life and flipped everything upside down. Before, when I used to have clear skin, I used to whine about the smallest of things, get ticked off easily, let the smallest of problems get to me, but now...when I'm dealing with THIS problem of acne, I feel like those problems are NOTHING. I swear to God, if my acne and scars are gone and my face is clear like before, I will never complain about a single thing ever again. I'd live life to the fullest. All I want is this clear skin. If a genie were to pop out of a lamp and ask me what I wanted for myself, I'd say, without any hesitation and no need to think, "CLEAR SKIN." Selfish? Probably. But when my face used to be clear, I loved to help people. So much. When someone needed my help, I'd jump in and help them. But now, I'm afraid. I'm embarassed. With this face, I'm afraid of approaching people. I'm trying my best to screw the acne and help people anyway, but I feel that I'd be more helpful if I just got rid of this stupid acne. I hate myself because of this. If I added up the days that I pretended to be sick from school because I was embarassed of my acne, the days would sum up to at least two weeks. I skipped two meetings with friends that I was sure would of been the time of my life--if only my acne was gone. I can't watch tv shows or movies the same way again. I keep comparing my skin to the actor's flawless ones. And to think that I used to feel uncomfortable whenever seeing an actor with one tiny pimple on their face! Now I just feel thankful and tell myself that they're also human. I can't listen to a love song or story and watch romance stories the same way again, because I feel that I can never experience the same thing if I have this terrible acne. I look at strangers on the streets and compare their skin to mine, feeling good whenever I see skin that's worse than mine. Hating those with clear skin, even though I know that it was not right for me to feel that way. I feel terrible when I do this but I can't help it. I hate myself for it. I look at classmates more intently now, stare at their skin when they're not looking.... I USED TO NEVER NOTICE PEOPLE'S ACNE THIS MUCH, OR EVER GAVE MUCH THOUGHT TO THEM WHEN MY SKIN WAS CLEAR. So it's true. People who never or barely had acne DO NOT NOTICE OTHER PEOPLE'S ACNE AT ALL, OR BARELY NOTICE. AND IF THEY NOTICE, THEY SHRUG IT OFF AND DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. THEY DON'T MIND IT. I feel that my dreams are beginning to become pointless. I want to be a film director. I want to be a voice actress. I want to be a novelist. I want to be a comic artist. I actually thought of being an actress one day but no way---not anymore. Not with this face. I want to work for my favorite film directors. But I feel that I can't. I can't even go anywhere without hating myself. Without hating my face. Without feeling like I'm nothing and feeling ugly compared to other people. And I feel sorry for the people who has to look at my disgusting face. How can I fulfill my dreams with no confidence? I don't want cameras to capture my acne. I used to like getting my picture taken (I wasn't the type of person to take thousands of pictures of themselves tho). Now, for five months, I avoid all cameras unless the picture is taken from a distance or with a low quality camera, where my acne won't be noticed. Am I depressed? Yes. Am I suicidal because of my acne? Perhaps. Maybe. I have been suicidal before when my skin was clear, because I had no friends and felt that nobody understood me, but I got over it. I was happy. Now I feel that I will never EVER feel suicidal again if my acne is gone. Now I feel that if I were to drop dead, to have a building crash onto me and only me, I'd be ok with it. School days feel so long now. I always can't wait to go home and hide and not have people look at me. Just as I'm typing this, I'm listening loudly to music with the topic "hating myself". It makes me feel better. I know, I'm so messed up right now. Now the question I want to believe that I can live with my acne, but another part tells me the opposite and sends me to tears. HOW DO I BATTLE THIS? During the 5 months when acne hit me bad, I had good days. I had days when I just forgot about my acne, said to myself "Screw acne, I wanna live my life" and then live my life. Go to school, laugh with friends, do my homework and tests, and have fun, and just enjoy life. When I can't forget about my acne, I keep telling myself "it's ok. It's not actually that bad. I keep blowing it up to proportions. People don't actually mind that much, and maybe they don't even notice it" and I can enjoy life and the blissfullness of it, although that feeling of depression will nag at me once in a while. Besides from these moments, other things have kept me happy. Music. Art. Movies and TV shows (though it hurts when I see those clear faces). Reading, writing. And comedy videos. But the moments when I can reassure myself that my acne is no prob is what really keeps me strong. Now. These momenst are ruined when three things happen. The third is the question of this topic. One: When someone mentions to me how terrible my acne is. OUCH. It just HURTS. A slap to the face. Geez. My ex-boyfriend went up to me one day and said "Whoa, you have acne now! You look ugly now!" WHAT THE---SERIOUSLY? A friend told me "Oh look, that burger has bumps on it. Pimples. Just like you." OUCH--- A baby sitter at the school, a dear friend of mine, said, "Ooooh look you've got acne now! What happened?" with a teasing smile on her face. I THOUGHT GROWN UPS WOULD BE MORE SENSITIVE TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. A senior at school, "Pimples on your face. You didn't wash your face, huh?" I WASH MY FACE EVERY DAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. An old friend who I didn't meet in some time. "Why do you have so many pimples now?!" Right on front of so many people. DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS. And then I'm reminded, oh. So my pimples ARE noticable. And it bothers people. Ugh. I'm trash. I'm crap. Now what? Note: I don't know the difference with pimples and acne D: Two: When I'm in a bright room, where no darkness can hide my acne. It also hurts when I see myself in the mirror while the lighting of the room is good. My acne looks noticable but doesn't look bad in a dark room. Some of the acne looks like it's not even there. But in the light...IT IS TERRIBLE. IT IS DISGUSTING. I HATE IT. Just yesterday, I went to a restaurant where it was very bright and had MIRRORS ON EVERY WALL. I saw myself in the reflection and wanted to hide. My mom was looking at my acne-infested cheeks as she talked to me, and not looking at my eyes. I wanted to cry. But well. It's not like I spend all of my time in the sun. I should be ok at some dark places. I wanna be happy. I wanna enjoy life. THREE: When it's myself that tells me that I CAN'T live my life with acne. I want to hang out with my friends and family. I want to follow my dreams. I want to love living. I don't want to be depressed. I don't want to be suicidal. I know two girls at my school who has about the worst case of acne in the school (for the girls, that is), yet they are one of the most popular too. And they look happy, no matter the condition of their skin. (Although one of them would show signs of sadness of her acne, but it's for only a brief moment.) I want to be like them. Then thoughts would appear in my mind. "You're ugly with those acne." "Don't you feel sorry for people who had to look at your disgusting face? They'll have the image in their heads, scarred for life." "People are embarassed to be seen with you." "Everyone's skin is clear. Yours is not. You're ugly." I WANT TO ENJOY LIFE. But how can I when I'm hurting myself mentally? (and physically, sometimes). This medication from the dermatologist, I'm praying will work. It's gotten worse, but I have hopes that it'll be better. I'm giving it four months. If nothing gets better, then I dunno what I'd do. But in the meantime, while I wait for the medication to help, how do I tell myself that it's not that bad? How do I live with myself? How do I defeat that part of me that tells myself that I'm ugly and disgusting? I know that even if my acne is gone, there'll still be scars. But I'm ok with the scars as long as I don't have the terrible face that I have now. Sigh. Well, I feel better now that I typed up this long shizz of my heart's contents. and now.... How I would actually be thankful to have acne I...I would actually be thankful to have acne. Because I learned so many things from it. I would complain less about things. I'd smile all the time, because I went through a lot. Things won't bother me like they did before. My health will be better, cuz I drink more and eat more fruits and vegetables. I exercise more now. I'm more thankful of things now. I won't ever be suicidal and won't be depressed as often as before. I'd actually be thankful to have acne. But only if I've already gotten rid of the acne and restored my clear face, that is. :') I know, people have it worse than me. At least I'm not blind. At least I have both arms and legs. But still...Come on. I'm sorry. I really know how terrible I sound but I just can't help it. I can't help feel the way I feel I hate myself for it. So much. Sigh. Acne, go away please. And now...for you all I pray that everyone with skin not to their liking can find happiness, and have clear skin one day, or whatever they wish for that's positive
  18. What acne type do I have??

    Hi there guys I was just wondering if someone could tell me what severity of acne I have. I have had acne since I was about 12-13 much worse than it is now. Currently I use epiduo every night with aveeno moisturiser afterwards and I use a black pore mask once a week. However despite this I continue to suffer with large red pimples under the skin that are painful and take a long time to go away. Does anyone have any tips to help get rid of these because they make me extremely unhappy and make me not want to show my face at times. Thanks a lot any help would be appreciated.
  19. I'm fully aware that most accutane cases are unique, difficult and tough to go through, but if anyone out there could help me with this one... I will be forever grateful. Some backround story: My acne problem started when I was on exchange in a foreign, and fairly unhealthy and humid country. By skin became swollen, infected and I was basically a pimple with a face on it. At some point people even yelled "Go wash your face!" at me. Anyways. I went to a dermatologist in May, that put me on accutane AND predisone. She put me on 40 mg of accutane per day, but one week before I stared taking it she put me on 20 mg prednisone for 2 weeks. She never gave me any information to step the mg down, and my acne reeeally broke out. Then I took antibiotics... then I was put on prednisone again... and then I came back home, quit predisone (stepped it down this time), and by skin went back to inferno again. I almost died taking this treatment. Okay, I might be a little dramatic. In August I was sent to emergency due to a swollen eye and swollen throat. I though this was because of some infection but no - accutane. The dermatologist told me that my immune system was so low that if I got a cold during those days, I would be hospitalized. I also started seeing a psychiatrist due to my now much worse depression. I believe the prednisone has ruined this treatment (or my life, if I shall be the dramatic acne patient that I am). Every time I quit prednisone my acne inflames, but at the same time I cannot use prednisone forever. My skin has improved a little since I started taking accutane, but I'm not sure if it will ever help me get healthy. I still get cyst, some of them take weeks, if not months to leave, and are filled with blood and pain. That's why I am thinking of taking Diane 35 combined with Accutane. Or maybe just quit taking it? The side effects are horrible. Maybe there actually is a hormonal underlying problem. I really don't know what to do anymore. Does somebody intelligent on have a good idea to what may happen if I take Diane 35 on Accutane? Some may feel like refer me to a dermatologist, and I have already been there. I live in a small town with poor medical help, and my former dermatologist replied "Yeah, just try it out" when I asked her on a text message. I still feel a little nervous about it though. If I do get replies on this topic, I may submit photos of my acne if that is of help. Help me please. - Nina (18)
  20. Hello evryone , for the first time I decided to write this seeking for help and a solution for my problem I had clear skin my whole life like it was so perfect only some zits on my forehead but they all went away naturally. Growing older I felt like my skin was not perfect enough so I decided to try products it worked for a year I had the clearest skin then it all turned away I was obsessed with my skin and face and the way I look a severe obsession , I tried to buy expensive products so my acne becoane cystic and I had red bumps all over my forehead and guess what for the first time in my life I break out on my chin area and even on my neck , I was and still depressed , I thought that wearing hoodies and never showing my face would be a solution but then I e read about the water regiment and tired it it worked wonderfully the first week then I am having for the first time ever in my life small pimples on my forehead and if I apply any cleanser ( thing that I did but it rapidly turned into a cyst ) I'll break out , i am so depressed my skin looks so clear and good but my forehead looks terrible with small pimples please help me should I continue the water regiment , or should I stop? I don't know how my skin is terrible because of my own faults , i destroyed it every way possible by excessive washing , products and of course the worst home remedies I've tried them all and look at me now , I am so depressed please help me , should I continue the water regiment ? Knowing that my skin is better looking but only on my forehead that my skin is terrible ? PS: it's been a month and a week since I've started this water regiment it was well until a few days ago. PLEASE HELP ME
  21. Hi guys. I have officially completed 2 months of 100 MG of Spiro. I am still looking just as bad. I notice a lot of ups and downs. One week I swear it looks much better and the next week I have a bunch of new pimples. I am sick of feeling the acne on my face and not wanting to look in the mirror. I am sick of plastering my skin with drying gel. It is exhausting. I also have started to take Anti Depressants. My mental state keeps worsening as my acne doesn't improve. I have tons of small pimples on my forehead, despite my Clindamycin use. It helps, but not enough. I have like 3 or 4 big pimples on both sides of my cheeks. -I had to switch from the Nuva Ring to Ortho Tri Cyclen. It is generic but it says right on it that it also treats moderate acne. I have taken this in the past when I was on Accutane and it kept me clear for awhile I feel like. I am hopeful this combination will be good. I really liked the Nuvaring, but the combo with Spiro was making me extremely emotional and I had a severe panic attack that I believe was from the Nuvaring. I used it in the past and it worked super good but now that I have acne again, the second time around hasn't been so great. I know it isn't supposed to help acne, so I think it am making the right move going back to my original Ortho Tri Cyclen. I haven't felt any emotional affects like I did on the NuvaRing. I really hope this isn't going to cause an initial breakout switching, because it already looks bad. I felt cloudy in the head until I switched to Ortho Tri Cyclen. It wasn't fun. I have been on the pill for 5 days now. It caused me to get my period a full week early, and that might be why my skin looks especially bad today. -I am hopeful this medication will work. I just keep missing out on social events because I am so insecure. I just want this to be done with. I am so frustrated. My appointment with my dermatologist is near the end of October. I remember her saying I might not be clear by then. It will be the 3 month check up. I haven't been there since I got prescribed it. It is frustrating seeing people say it cleared them up in 1 month because I have had my initial breakout well over 2 months. I saw a few Youtube success stories, from girls with worse acne than me, getting clear at 6 months. It is so hard to wait that long. I don't have severe acne, it is more moderate. I feel like mine should clear up faster than that. Will someone comment and tell me how long it took them? I was hoping I would be back with a positive update. I am still going to keep moving forward and give it the full 6 months before I think about quitting. I hope I will get my dose raised at the appointment, or it will be clear by then? My birthday is November 29th and I will be devastated to not have clear skin by then...It is possible but also could very well not happen. Please comment! Support is always welcome!
  22. Differin week 27

    Hi everyone I am on differin for 27 weeks now. What a ride for me. Still, acne shows up and cause me anxiety. I believe it is all about the hormones because I have chnage my routine to minimize the acne risk. I wash my pillows every week. I eat healthy food such as grain and almond milk. I sleep before 11 pm. Almost every day. I find a hobby to keep me stay away from stress and over thinking. I also do vbeam and smooth beam laser but help little with scars. I think I am going to use differin for the rest of my life for the best of prevention from acne although, it did. Ot perform 100% clear face. I also use benzac 2.5% and 5%. For 5%, I apply it before washing my face and 2.5% is for overnight as my skin uses to 2.5% with no irritation. So the combination of differin and benzac performs great for me but I wish they could do better in preventing acne. Sometime, I apply a dot of benzac on my little cyst for a hope of eliminating it overnight but recently it took 2 weeks to completly eliminate it. The cyst hurt me and create red mark which I hate so much. I wash my face and still feel the bump of it. I wish it could just disappear. By the way, I am 23 going up to 24 next year. So I guess I have late teen acne. It is suck to have it. I try to avoid looking myself in the mirror. It has been many months I look away from myself. Lucky me that I have short eye sight so whenever I look myself in the mirror, I only see my blurry face. It feel like my skin is better when not lookinh throught my glasses and that grow my confidence. How long does it take to completly steer clear from acne? I would ask myself for every night. I even pray for myself to wake up without finding new acne on my face. I don't want to feel the bumps on my face. So this is probably just my online diary now. I feel better when writing things out. You should try it if you bad about yourself. Hope everyone who read till the end stay safe from acne. Wish you all the best
  23. So here is my story. I've been battling acne since the age of 18. Initially my acne was not too bad, i had few breakouts on my forehead, but still it made me feel very uncormfortable.I went to see a dermatologist and he prescribed tetraysal antibiotic for almost 2 years, which has helped me a lot. No blemishes at all while taking it. I stopped taking it and my acne was under control until i got married at 22. since then my acne has changed. i started having small cycts on my chin. I' ve used a number of harsh anti acne lotions; clean and clear, murad, ZO skin name it. it helped me only for a bit. no success with cycts. i gave birth in 2015 and after that my acne went crazy. i started having cysts on my cheeks!!!!! my cheeks used to be so beautiful and now they are covered by pimples and scars from them. So i've tried everything; dairy free diet, candida diet, gluten free diet, sugar free diet. nothing helped. i've tried doing accupunture, regular sports, drinking lots of water- nothing. i even went to see a naturopath and paid lots of money to get supplements and vitamins against acne. It does help but only a little bit, my acne is not under control. it gets worse when i ovulate and when i menstruate. I am so against taking accutane, but sometimes i think it is the only option that i have... i feel desperate and ugly. my skin looks horrible. i lost confidence and i feel so sad all the time. i try to approach my problem by using natural and chemical free products, eating organic food... but it does not help. i am so depressed i don't know what to do
  24. ive been on accutane for 25 days now and its been getting really difficult. Im a 16 year old girl, junior in highschool. I was aware of the side effects before i started and i have really bad cystic acne so im willing to go through all of this due to everyone’s positive experiences on it. My skin just went through the purging stage but im sure the worst is yet to come, ive noticed almost all of my pores on my nose and chin have become full of blackheads that are pushing past the surface, it has a rough texture and it’s quite strange actually, i assume its the medicine pushing all the bad stuff up but man its gross (ive read lots of reviews of accutane and nobody has mentioned that) The most significant change ive noticed is in my moods. ive experienced depression before but its gotten worse and I know it is a noted side effect of the medicine. I dont know where to go from there though, do I tell my doctor? its honestly really scary and i just want to make sure im not the only one going through symptoms like this. On a different note my skin has been extremely dry and i have moisturizers but i wanted to see if there are any recommendations for lotions to use because the ones ive been using havent been the greatest I know im only in the first stages and it probably will only get worse I just wanted some help bc i feel really alone in this, sorry!! if you read this thank you and please leave me suggestions!!
  25. Differin week 20

    Hi guys this is around my 20th week of using differin and around 10 weeks of using benzac. For the past 2 weeks, I had almost clear face. I mean no major acne outbreak. This week I have 3 cysts. BIG CYSTS. I hate them so much. I have no idea how they come up on my face. It is so annoying. I was happy and now I am panic. Wondering if there is going to be more tomorrow. I can't tolerate the feeling of cleaning my face and it hurts so bad. For a while, I have hope and it was vanished by cysts that I can't find the root of it. I hope benzac take care of them as soon as possible. I want to be happy again. Happiness without panic and nightmare.