L O W

I end every day thinking, well hey now, at least it can't get worse than today. It's all up from here, man.
And every new day I am proved wrong.
Fourth May '18,
New levels of low.
Gigantic, inflamed, infected cysts showing zero signs of healing after months.They are just kind of there and persistently painful/unsightly/anxiety-fuelling. Sleeping hurts, smiling hurts, talking hurts, eating hurts. Every day in work customers ask me what's wrong with my face, what's on my face, (or my personal fave), what have you done to your face. Self worth non existent, anxiety levels perpetually through the roof.
My skin is doing weird and gross things and I don't know how best to help it heal. My last appointment with a doctor was a major let down. I am working towards being able to pay (a lot) for a private dermatologist. I miss who I was. I don't remember the last morning I woke up when my face didn't THROB. I don't go out unless I have to. I'm trying v hard to be more hopeful.


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