OK. As i am writing this it is the morning after a big pick, after I was on a pretty good roll with nice skin. Yep, I played myself again. It started how it always does, went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Was going to remove one tiny flake off of a healed spot, very meticulously and controlled..... and BAM !!!!! 30 mins later my whole face has been extracted and is beet red. My favorite cream has mitigated some of the damages, its not the worst its ever been by any means but like come onnnnn WHY did i have to do that. Now im back at square one again. SO, like pretty much EVERY time this happens, i have decided that i am DONE PICKING. *laughs to myself* ahh how many hundred of times, year after year, have I said the same thing over and over and i always fail. Every single time. BUT this time i am starting this journal here for myself. Every day i am going to write how it goes with the picking. And if i pick, im going to admit it. (hopefully i fucking DONT though lol). Sure sure, this journal thing works i tell myself. Even though ive tried it last year when no picking was my 2017 new years resolution and i kept a hand written journal. That didnt work AT ALL. Had no effect whatsoever. Maybe if its on the internet it will be different? Anyways, here it is: TODAY, TUESDAY NOVEMBER 21, 2017, 6:38 AM, FROM HERE UNTIL THE END OF TIME (LOL) I WILL NOT PICK MY SKIN EVER AGAIN. EVER. EVEN IF SOMEONE HAS A GUN TO MY HEAD AND TELLS ME TO (OK MAYBE THEN, AND ONLY THEN LOL) BUT SERIOUSLY. IM DONE. COLD TURKEY. DONE!!!! Its probably going to be the hardest thing ive ever done (well, i know it is.. ive been trying to quit for like 10 years now, ha). But im fucking dead ass serious this time. No looking in the mirror for no reason. NO touching my face except in the morning to put on makeup. No picking before i get in the shower, just GET IN and dont even look in mirror just hurry. I will stop and my skin will heal and be so happy with me. OK, there we go. DONE DONE DONE. NO MORE PICKING YOU FUCKING IDIOT STOP FUCKIN UR OWN FACE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!