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Day 51



The four actives I had yesterday have been reduced to one today. However, it's a really big nasty one, the likes of which I haven't had in awhile. Also, the other ones did leave a mark, not surprisingly. I'm not gonna lie, I am extremely depressed today walking around with this huge papule on my chin. It really hurts too. I've been putting medication on it throughout the day today so far. Ideally I hope it's gone tomorrow, but if not I really hope it's gone by Saturday because I have a concert to go to. i just wish I could fast forward in time so that I have clear skin. I know it will probably take another month though before all the marks fade.

I really wish I didn't have such an obsessive compulsive type personality. Perfection is really important to me. Any time I don't look perfect, I get really angry with myself which I know isn't healthy. I try really hard to work out every day and keep my body in shape. I don't think my diet is that bad and besides smoking, I don't have that many bad habits. I take care of myself. I don't understand why acne has affected me. Just associating the word acne with myself makes me feel sick. I feel absolutely gross and disgusting for ever even suffering from it. The psychological effect will probably last forever and I don't think my friends and family will ever forget how much I suffered because of it. I just wish they would all forget and remember me when I looked my best. I don't wanna be remembered as the girl who used to have acne.

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omg quit smoking please! I smoked for 2010-2013 and it was the worst habit ever. I now chew nicotine gum and lost the urge to smoke for the most part. You are so young and beautiful, don't ruin it by smoking. Please!! omg! and don't beat yourself up about having pimples. It is totally not your fault but what you can do is get professional treatment from a dermatologist. You can take amoxicillin for awhile. Cleared me right up, that and cephalexin. Please take my advice. I really want to help. Happy holidays and good luck!

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