This is my first time posting on acne.org, but I have been obsessively reading the forums for a while now.
Brief skin history:
- I am 23, and I have never had any major skin problems until this year. I never had perfect skin, bumpy forehead, some blackheads, a zit here and there, but nothing like what started 9 months ago
- My skin started flaring up last August, and when I moved to a tropical climate (the Carribean), it continued to get worse.
- I went on birth control in September, to no avail, it just kept getting worse and worse and WORSE. I decided to go on Diane 35 three months ago, but saw little to no improvement (the acne along my jaw got a bit better, but my cheeks began to flare up BAD).
- I finally got put on Accutane, 20 mg, which is what I have wanted for the past few months. My mother had acne into her 20s, and Accutane worked for her, with no major side effects (she had to go on it twice though)
Anyways, I have been reading people's Accutane journals and I thought I would make one myself. Even if it's just to get out my feelings! I had a bit of a breakdown today, bawling into my husbands arms (note: crying on Accutane will make your face turn a particularly frightening shade of red). I am just SO sick of this.
The only people that understand are you guys out on the internet (and I guess my mom). All my friends have flawless skin, so they, and my husband, tell me it's not a big deal, no one notices as much as I do, etc etc. I know it is vain to let your appearance effect your sense of worth, your emotional well-being, and I wish I could smile and move past it, but I can't. Living in the Carribean makes it even harder - I don't even feel comfortable going to the beach because I have to wear so much makeup. Not to mentioned it's 1000 degrees and humid. I can't go swimming with friends, or sailing, or diving. All the things I used to love. I have become a total hermit. I feel sorry for my husband.
Anyways, I'm ranting!! It's been a tough day. Full disclosure: I am PMSing right now, but I usually feel this shitty anyways.
Since I started Accutane 11 days ago:
- No big painful cysts (yay! I can lay down, and hug my husband, without feeling like someone is jabbing at a bruise - you guys know what I'm talking about)
- My hair seems a bit more manageable. I can't explain it, it wasn't greasy before or anything.
- New pimples that do appear seem to heal faster - they stay red, but they flatten, so it's easier to cover with makeup
- MORE small pimples. I think, maybe I'm just extra paranoid now that I am waiting for my initial breakout
- Definitely no visible improvement (ok ok, I'm impatient, I know)
- I have to wear sunscreen all the time, on every square inch, since I live in a very sunny climate. I find it easier to just stay inside.
- Dry lips, I have been using pure shea butter
- Itchy scalp
- Headaches if I don't drink a lot of water (which I am trying to do, but it's annoying having to pee every 15 minutes.)
- A bit of muscle fatigue when I am working out, I've been using lighter weights
Anyways, I know it has only been 11 days, but I am ready for this stuff to get WORKING. PLEASSSSSSE. I am going back to Canada in 12 days to visit friends and family, and most of them have not seen my skin this bad, not to mention Montreal is filled with beautiful people, so I am absolutely desperate to at least look half decent. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry this is so long. Thanks for reading if you made it all the way through