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Struggling Today

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okay so my skin is still about the same, 20 or so red red pimples, and about 3-4 large red on both my cheeks, my face just looks a total mess, the worst its been in a year and i thought it was bad before, hah this takes the cake.

im trying not to look in the mirror and just forget about it but ive been super obsessing about my skin this last week because of the dramatic step backwards. i've been just doing spiro 100mg 1x/day and moisturizer for the past 3 days since my derm apt. but i'm nervous because idk if spiro alone will clear me up, i feel like i need a topical so i've been debating on whether to start using the tretinoin (using it before and my face was pretty ok) every other night to try to fight these existing pimples that are so red and everywhere, ughhh. but my derm said that my face may need a break but i just don't see these going away anytime soon, usually it takes 3 weeks or so for these pimples to heal before and that was with tretinoin so now i'm so nervous it's going to take forever. luckily i've had the end of the week off from week so i've just been doing moisturizer and drinking lots of water but my husband is home today and i've never really been self conscious around him but today i'm really struggling with him seeing me like this because it's never been this bad before. i know he won't say anything but i'm in such a bad mood over my skin that i just want to stay in and not do anything because i'm so scared to see anyone like this. i wish i could just sleep all day until this goes away. i put makeup on this morning because of my husband but it looks terrible terrible and i just don't know what i'm going to do for week next week because my skin is going to look like this??!! wow, i think i'm getting depressed.

another issue i'm having is i've been waking early, like 6-7am, even though i've been off for a few days and by 7-8pm i'm falling asleep on the couch even when i'm trying to stay awake and then i wake up several times during the night just wide awake and having trouble getting back to sleep. idk if this is anxiety about my skin in the morning and if i'm sleeping i'm not thinking about my skin OR the spironolactone is making me fatigued. anyone else have this problem??

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