So first of all, My name is Christopher i live in Denmark so if my english is a little terrible from time to time that might be the reason. Im 20 years of age and im graduating this year. For as long as i can remember i have always been VERY aware of the way people perceive me and what they think of me. I really want ot be perfect in everybodys eyes even though i deep inside know that im not. I have to wear the right clothes, shoes etc. for me to feel fine
So, when did my acne start ? i basically started around 14-15 as far as i remember. It just started out as regular pimpels on the forehead and in the face, nothing special, also add in some blackheads and so on. This didn't really bother me this much though, i didn't really care to do much about it since i knew every single teenage boy on earth was going through the exact same thing as me. That stage continued for a year, so when i was around 16 it started to spread to my body, my back to be more exact, i started to get red spots on my back, nothing really special just spots not real pimpels with white goo. Then i started to tan alot and swin to see if that would help, but nothing happend. This went on for a good time, but then when i was around 17 had gotten worse. I had gotten a new girlfriend, and one day i when i was showering at her place she walked in on me, she saw my back and asked "what's that on you back?" i just replied "i don't know, its probally nothing" or something like that, but i knew what it was. and i felt so shy and embarresed about it. I can just remember the situation so clearly still. it sickens me .
Then as time passed by it just got worse and worse, it slowly started to escalate but it didn't really bother me that much, but then i started to become more and more aware of it as i grew older, i had a bigger urge to go out and have fun but it was getting harder and harder due to the fact that i was so aware of how people are perceiving me, they might not be saying it to my face, but i know that they are thinking about it. So i slowly started to get zits in the back of my neck they were very sore, and this was really embarrasing when i had to get a haircut. But luckily my dad's girlfriend is a hair dresser so she cuts my hair, that makes it slightly embarrasing but it was still hard to do. Then it was still getting worse but i covered it up as much as possible.
Late i had a period where i was wearing either a cap or a beenie all the time, and im pretty sure that's the reason why i started to get a lot of pimpels on my forehead so that didn't really help either, and at this point people started noticing my condition. My dad noticed it and he went to the pharmacy to buy me some cleansing peeling which i used every night before i went to bed, but to my surprise nothing happend. so i stopped using it after a couple of weeks. But then it slowly really slowly started to go away by itself, which was a huge relief.
Soon i was 18 and the acne on my body was getting worse, i didn't really bother my that much though so i did nothing about it, it was my problem and i told no one about it, nobody ever nedded to know. But it just kept getting worse. by the time i reached my 19th birthday it was on a big level, i started to help myself. i started drinking loads of water 2-4 liters a day because i heard that would help, i gave up candy and soda for the reason and once again i started to tan because that might help. I even started to wash my face 2 times every day with a special soap to see if that would help. but nothing helped. Then i got feed up with it, so i went to the doctor because i knew some of my friends had gotten some medicin to help them. I went to the doctor and she prescribed me some "Tetracyklin DAK" 333mg tablets which i immidiately began to eat, in the beginning it helped alittel but then it kinda stopped working, i eat my way through 1Â½ jar, that's like ~ 150 pills, then i stopped taking them because i didnÂ´'t feel them working. Also when i took the Tetracyklin i got really tired in the beginning, the really wore my body out and i slept all the time which was a nightmare.
Then my acne started to go really crazy it evolved really madly and i went to my doctor again, but getting to a doctor in this town is not easy, i had to wait a whole month! While i could just see my condition getting worse. Then when i finally got there, i told her that i only wanted accutane, i told her my condition was giving me a slight depression and that it was generally just bringing my life quality to a lower level. And of course she began with all her medical rant about it being dangerous, but i was really determent and i wanted the treatment cause bisically i had nothing to lose. then once again i had to wait another 5 weeks for me to get an appointment at the derm. And still my condition got worse so i sad back feeling really screwed over by the system. my acne was going strong and i began getting cysts on my face, my cheeks and it was starting on my neck aswell. meantime i also started to get cysts on my chest and on my back.
Then finally i went to the skin doctor, he told me that my conditon wasen't too god and that i should have started accutane a long time ago, (special thanks to the above mentioned "doctor") then of course i sat down with him and he explained to me about all the sideeffetcs etc. But i really didn't care much. i just wanted the pills so i could get better.
I started the accutane after i had taken some bloodsampels. My Journey is below.
My dosage is 70mg each day.
Day 1: nothing special
Day 2: Still nothing special
Day 3: heavy headache, and my lips started to turn dry
Day 4: Heavy headache and dry lips
Day 5: Same thing Heavy headache and dry lips
Day 6: Same side effects
Day 7: All the same
This week i still had the annoying headache and my facial skin was starting to go dry.
Headache, dry lips and skin.
Still heavy headache, dry skin and dry lips.
Now the fun begins im slightly starting to get pains in my back, but i don't think too much about it.
i searh the web for accutane and i read the note within the medicin pack and i learn that back pain actually is a sideeffect... Fascinating... Im also starting to have problems sleeping at night, the cysts on my back hurt too much to lay down so i lay awake for several hours each night i only got a couple of hours of sleep everynight and then i had to face a 8 hour long school day which was really hard.
I become terrible ill... I have a really high fever each and every day and at the same time i have a heavy headache, my back hurts, and the cysts on my back REALLY hurts, i hardly sleep anymore and i have to take painkillers constantly. i take a couple just to get by and then a couple again before i get to bed so that would take most of the fever. I was having really bad pains i the only time i slept were when i got so exhausted that i passed out. All of this made me skip a whole week of school. i couldn't find a meaning with it all and i literally just wanted to die.
Im finaly starting to get over my illness and i can start to live again the cysts on my back still hurt alot though the medecin haven't kicked in yet... I still have back pains, really bad ones when i bend over i have a hard time getting up again, and this really isnt handly when you gotta work. The cysts on my face are going crazy they are really getting bigger and bigger and the cysts on my body aren't goign down either, i get so frustarted that i go to my doctor. (lucky me that i had gotten a new one) he takes a look at me and decides to call my derm who quickly takes a look at me, he prescribes me some additional pills to take wit my accutane, "Prednison DAK 25mg" just to take the edge of the inflamation these are really strong pills though with really nasty side effects.
I was taking all my pills but im still having troubles sleeping, i can't sleep on my back nor my stomach because my chest is filled with cysts which hurt to lie on, and from time to time i can't sleep on my sides either because my shoulders and arms are sore and painfull from either cysts or pimpels. So im still having problems sleeping at this point.
I've been to the derm again to get my dosage of prednison lowered i have to go on a stepdown thingy to get out of them, i get a new prescription of accutane pills. He takes a look at me and finaly the cysts on my neck are goign away, he tells me that im doing fine and i leave with a smile on my face . Things are finaly startign to go my way...
Right now as im writing this im looking at the last pills i have, there are 12 left untill i have to start my new batch. Im still having pains in my back though, and from time to time i still have problems sleeping. Im sitting here right now and i can feel the cysts on my back, its painfull but i don't wanna bother too much with it today, its itchy and its just annoying like hell. I've been on these pills for 10 weeks soon and i hope they will start to work wonders soon. I can see a few changes to my body, but not much... Only on my neck but that is also the most crucial part, its kinda hard to hide that. But actually im happy today, i can see my cysts are going down and that makes me happy. :dance:
I will begin to update this blog daily so you people can follow my result and hopefully have a good time reading it