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Accutane: Be the Best you can Be!

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Going Off Accutane- 21 Days

It's been 21 days of accutane, today was supposed to be my 23rd, but unfortunately unexpected events occurred that have made me stop taking my 20mg dosage. Now I noticed a lot of troubling things in the very beginning of Accutane, things that I didn't look at too closely but perhaps should have, that rolled into one big problem this week.

I am a very stress free person. I believe in being the best I can be and not worrying too much about life in general. Do I hate my acne? Yes of course. Do I let that hate turn into a depression that follows me around everyday? No, because its only surface things. In fifty years we are all going to be old and wrinkled so why take surface vanities into your own keeping? The reason I want to take care of my skin is because it came about so suddenly and affected my face so horribly that it was concerning. I had all this inflammation from going off birth control? It didn't seem healthy. So when my dermatologist told me that he'd like to try accutane with me I researched the good and bad, got first hand reviews from friends and family who used it, and let myself trust that my derm knew 100% what this drug would do to me. He told me that if I were his daughter he'd put me on in a heartbeat.

I'm an avid walker. I love walking miles and miles everyday in whatever type of weather for as long as possible. Every night I go on a 2 hour walk around my college campus listening to music and chugging along. I've done this for 4 years now. Every two days I take a three mile walk to pick up groceries at a local Whole Foods. Every morning I walk down to a nearby playground to swing for half an hour and work my legs up and down a steep hill. I hadn't done any of these things in about two weeks, perhaps. I very honestly can't remember the last time I did these things since starting Accutane. I've always been too tired after a long school day or just unmotivated even though my life has been pretty fantastic of late. It didnt even concern me that I was suddenly not doing these things. I was just ok with the walking getting done between classes, on my hill covered campus it is a workout, and going back to my room to lay in bed. Yesterday I forced myself to take a half hour walk and tonight I willingly did a half hour loop around my campus.

I'm a hearty eater. I love food and especially hot hot spices. A week into Accutane and I was eating smaller and smaller portions. Food just no longer seemed good to me. French fries and chips seemed bland. Jalepeanos seemed too hot. Even my favorite drinks became tasteless and dry.

None of this bothered me or even hit me until last week. I recently learned I may have a slight allergy to pineapple, not a big issue since I don't reach for it and therefore nothing for me to think about. However the other day I got a Starbucks frappe and as I was sitting in class my throat started to close up. Now looking back at it I realize it was the thick whipped cream topping that was stuffing me up but for some reason my mind raced to an allergic reaction. I fled to the school health center to be checked out and they said it was a mild panic attack. Since I'd never suffered from one before in my life I didn't know the signs or anything about it and just brushed it aside as nothing. No other panic attacks that week, still not walking or eating my best however, even though it should have been a stressful period from having a Fashion Show near disaster on my hands. Cool as a cucumber, everyone said of me. Now that phrase seems foreign in my own ears.

This past Monday I was cleaning my refrigerator out where my roommate had stored three containers of pineapple. Unconcerned, as my allergy to it is slight, I went and emptied the containers and washed them. 15 minutes later, as I was sitting in my be, my throat got tight and clogged. Not itchy, not scratchy, just clogged like I needed water. I tried drinking water but suddenly I was getting extremely hot. I splashed myself with cold water and nothing. No effect. I started hypervenilating and went to a friends room for help. After twenty minutes the only thing on my mind was that I was dying of an allergic reaction to pineapple juices and needed to go to the hospital.

Since Monday night I have suffered completely irrational panic attacks brought on by the most absurd of things. I couldnt go to overcrowded areas due to overstimuli, I could barely eat in fear that i may be allergic to something else too, and i always had to have a full bottle of water at my side or i would get hysterical. I sought out the campus health center and talked to a trained official for 45 minutes through a severe panic attack brought on by eating a french fry and he told me that besides these freak outs I was such a well adjusted, stress free person that he honestly believed I had to be taking something to be causing these attacks. So, I stopped taking the Accutane on Thursday.

I talked to my aunt who is a doctor who has had her children on Accutane, when it was first around years ago. She told me 100% she believed it was the medication without a doubt knowing that I was highly sensitive to medications like Predniscone and the sort. It decreases serotonin levels which is what happens in people who are depressed and depression is directly linked with anxiety.

Now, I'm not saying that Accutane is the devil here, but I know my body well enough to know that this was the factor In my hellish week. Knowing who I am off of a medicine, knowing that for as long as I can remember I have never had any mood disorders or panic attacks or any reason for irrational thought behavior, I just knew I had to get off to save myself and serious ramifications of this drug. I also am not saying that I'm a 100% better yet even getting off the drug. I'm hoping that once it is completely out of my system, as I was on such a low dose, that ill be myself again.

So now it's on to something new and hopefully helpful. I am considering spiro but don't know.



So I figured I'd post something of my nightly routine, as I have exciting news due to my nightly routine coming soon! I've actually been pretty much dedicated to a simple nightly routine for 2 months now. I start off by using Dr Bronners Soap in Citrus, the liquid not bar, and clean off any and all makeup with that. I either do this in the shower, I take one every other day for a specific reason as I'll mention later, or at the sink on nights I don't shower. If I'm showering I use my Clarisonic Mia to really get the grime off and open pores for my Sulphur wash. This is easier to do at the sink, the sulphur wash, as it says to massage it in and almost use it as a mask. But I use it in the shower too just to ensure I do it.

Finally, I pay my skin dry and get set on my three final steps for the night. First I use two-three drops of Estée Lauder ANR. I don't know if I've really seen any difference due to this, I've been using it since the last days of August, but I keep up with it as it will do me good in the future. Then I use three pumps of my Nuetragena Rapid Tone Repair. This stuff works really fell for faint red marks that need clearing. I love it. Second time buying, bought it when it first came out because of a sunburn that had left a nasty red mark, and I am thinking of getting the daily one to go with the nightly. Then, last but not least, I use food grade Aloe Vera as a moisturizer and rub! rub! rub! This stuff makes you dewy and glowy in the morning if you rub it in well. I actually try massaging my face for a bit before bed to help too, hopefully or else I just look like a fool.

Anyways feel free to catch my next blog posts coming up with my exciting skin news, tomorrow's dermatologist appointment, and all the fun stuff that comes with wanting perfect skin!



The Journey To Accutane

Hello there readers!

I figured I'd just jump right into what my lovely situation is with acne and treatments and finally the mysterious accutane. Basically, while I wouldn't say that I've had pristine skin my entire life, I would say that I had fairly nice skin up until a year ago. Occasionally in High school I had a couple pimples, mainly from my greasy hair after long hours on the stage and too much makeup, but never any serious skin problems. In 2009 I went on Birth Control, got off mid 2010, and went back on in August of 2012 when I felt that 2-3 zits a months were the end of my life. Unfortunately I broke out HORRIBLY from birth control wreaking havoc with my hormones and it took four months for my skin to go back to normal. It was clear skin for several months after, till I lost my package of Birth control moving home from college. Within a matter of days I broke out EVEN MORE HORRIBLY then ever before. It was absolutely awful!

From May to August my skin got worse and worse every day. For the first time in my life I got cysts and such dark red marks that even Estee Lauder Double Wear can't conceal it. I went to the dermatologist who prescribed me predniscone and antibiotics ( Keflex) for my skin, as well as a retin-a cream. That was the first time he mentioned Accutane as well. The swelling went down in my acne, somewhat, though the redness is still horrible. I visited him again before going back to school where he had me do the paperwork for Accutane and said he would take care of things so I could go on it in the beginning of October! After I finished my three weeks of Predniscone my skin went to hell even worse again. Three cysts! And this time one by my mouth was so big that I couldn't even eat or open my mouth without it hurting. I called my dermatologist back and asked for another dose of Predniscone. He gave me another three weeks worth at 5mg. He also suggested getting another derm closer to where I go to school. Meanwhile I had another appointment with him in three weeks.

The new Dermatologist, who I got immediately, thought my skin looked absolutely horrible. She pitied me the redness and the blotchiness and everything and gave me 10mg of predniscone to start taking 4 pills a day for a week before weening off, in comparison the highest I'd ever taken with my other doc was 15mg in 3 5mg pills. Boosting up to 40 made my skin clear-ish within two days. The cyst still remained but it got smaller and smaller, and the zits were fading. She also gave me a prescription for a sulphur wash and 5% Benzoyl peroxide spot treatment cream.

The three weeks went by until I got to go home to my original dermatologist who informed me that he had forgotten to put me into the computer for Accutane and that he was going to call the company and try to convince them to put me on anyways. Later that day he called me and said I'd have to wait till October 23rd to get my prescription: an entire month wait! I was furious at him for forgetting to put me in but there was nothing to do but wait. My skin remained pretty much the same the entire month. No better and no worse. So finally the 23rd rolled around and ANOTHER mistake by my derm so I finally ended up getting Accutane the 24th, no use going into the smaller mistake, and have been on it currently for three days in 20mg a day and the highest dose I'll get is 50mg? I weigh 115 currently so

So basically the two things I want to clear up with Accutane are: The Horrible Redness!!! I don't know whats worse, acne or random red patches that show up because my skin is inflamed. And of course Acne. Honestly the redness is the worse right now. My skin wouldn't look half as bad if the redness just went away.

So if you want to follow my blog feel free to do so. I will post pictures to go with it.

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