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meh, Sotret.

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April 6th. Day 9

So today i finally see the side effects. I woke up this morning and there were the shot lips, and i was greeted by a slew of whiteheads around my lips. I have cystic acne all around my face too, but nothing really on my forehead. I go to college and live in a dorm. The worst thing about everything is making eye contact with someone, and then seeing there eyes drift towards the red lumps on my fucking face. Especially when its a cute girl, its really hard to make friends when you have this disability. you just have to hope that most people can see through your ailments and get to know the real you. Its really even worse when your roommate will just walk up to you and say "wow, you really do have bad acne." Well FUCK you. I see all these other people who dont have to do shit to their face and it still looks good as new. i try to not think about the way my face looks, but its really hard. my parents will say, " o its ok, i had worse" that doesnt really help, im going through this now and this godforsaken medicine better work. If you acne comes back after this 5 month bullshit, im calling it quits. I dont know what that means but yea. i cant even DRINK while im on this shit. when someone tells me i have bad acne or about a pimple on my fuking face. it just enrages me. They act like i dont know this, like i dont look in the damn mirror and see this monster looking back. Its not like i need someone to remind me. Cant they just think whatever they want to say in their minds sometimes. people always tell me there are cases worse than yours. but then why do i never see them in person? why is it always me who can be singled out while walking to class. WTF have i done to deserve this type of burden. i hope i can make through the next 5 months of this. and if this initial breakout is a joke compared to ones to come. Its gonna be a long 5 months

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