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New dawn, new day, new life

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Acne is mainly classified as a skin condition, though I truly feel it's a disease. Not physically, I mean, it's not contagious, or life-threatening. But there is an emotional side of acne. And I'm not talking about all of the hormones and mood swings that we go through as we're growing up, but acne itself.

This is a thought that's been on my mind recently, and it's one of those personal things that is hard to explain, so bare with me.

Back track 3 years ago when my skin was at its worst. I refused to even walk into Walmart without having makeup on. If I ran out of makeup, I'd skip school that day. There were somedays I didnt even get out of bed because the first thing I would see is a mirror and I didnt want to go through looking at myself. I missed out on a lot of things because of my skin. Pool parties, school dances you name it. It's such a small thing that can make a person feel so terrible about themselves. My confidence level far surpassed 0. I was never happy, rather anti-social you could say, I'd try to avoid talking to anyone, especialy because I despised eye contact. They say you are your biggest critic. You know every spot, mark, bump and pore on your face.

Expanding on that, when acne goes you have a whole new battle to face, the scarring, the doc says it'll fade within the next year, but 3 months post accuane and I'm still acting as if my skin hasnt changed. It's like someone losing a lot of weight, but still in the habits of when they were overweight. Afraid to eat because they don't want to gain the weight back and start from the beginning. The same goes for skin, I'm still so afraid to slip up on my skincare regimen because I dont want to go back to the start of this process. I don't know why I'm so paranoid, my skin is nearly perfect! Hell I could go a week without washing my face and still feel 4,000 x better going out in public than I did before. But the reminder is still there, I have to battle scarring and oily skin and other flaws that only I can see on my face. The pyscological effects of acne are so large, I know my skin is so much better but I can't help but find something wrong with it every time I look in the mirror. I try to forget how I used act 3 years ago until the day I took my last pill, because that part of me is over, I was depressed because of my skin, and now I do my best to radiate confidence whether it's there or not, Somedays I feel as disgusting as I did then, but you have to keep telling yourself it's all inside your head.

What I'm basically trying to say is, Accutane is not a magic pill. Your acne doesnt disappear and boom, your problems are solved. Acne is something you have to fight even after it's gone. But the fight is worth it because in the end, you can do silly things that you weren't able to before like walking your dog around the block without having to hide under makeup. And it's things like that, that leads to where life begins.


Some exciting news tonight! I have officially been on Accutane for 3 months, the results have been amazing except I'm not quite where I want to be yet. Only about 2 or three active blemishes but mostly everything is scarring. This picture on top of my back is about 1 month in the treatment, and the second was last nights. The iphone quality makes it look a lot worse than it is in person I feel. But you can tell there is a hugeee difference, agreed?

Some not so good news is the fact I lost my medicine and was off for 2.5 weeks because they wont let you get anymore until your 1 month is up. I dont really feel like that was a set back, if anything it helped very much! My rashes went away, the chapness of my lips and dry skin did as well. Now that ive been back on it, my rashes are ten times worse, not only on my hands and arms but now on my legs. the dryness is ridiculous, and ive been through 1 tube of chapstick this WEEK.

All in all I'm happy with the progress, and hope to be done with the course early may when PROM comes <3 the only thing I'm worried about is my back, because my chest is 100% CLEAR!!! (: I'm donating 12 inches of my hair in the next two weeks and it wont cover my back for prom, so im hoping the scarring will lessen enough for me to use a little make up to hide the rest of the scars.

Sorry for the quick, frantic update, I havent been on for a while and I felt one was needed. Accutane has to be one of the best choices I've ever made and I am ECSTATIC about the results its given me so far. I would reccomend it to anyone. The side affects suck but it is totalllly worth it! Ive been getting lots of compliments lately about the way my skin looks too! So good luck to the rest of you on your journey as well!(:


Day 31

Quick update: I went to the seem this morning and he changed my prescription from 40 mg of accutane once a day, to a 30 mg dose in the morning and in the evening.

My side effects are as follows:

-EXTREMELY chapped lips

-Dry/peeling face (mostly around the corners of my mouth and nose)

-Breaking out in rashes on my hands and arms

-Mild back pain

-And mild mood swings (but doesn't every girl already)

Acne update:

-Clear chest (except for dry patches of skin) but no blemishes

-Right side of my back is pure scarring, the left side has 4 big blemishes and some other scarring

-My forehead has two blemishes, one is a scab that should be gone tomorrow

-my blackheads are clearing SO nicely! My nose is soooo much softer as is my chin, there are now about 30 noticeable blackheads, compared to the 120 I tried counting before treatment

-my chin is breaking out, I have about 4-5 blemishes that I hate, there is a lot of scarring too

All in all I am very pleased with the results I'm getting from accutane and I can only imagine what the next few months will bring me, good luck to everyone and Merry Christmas!


Day 24 of my accutane journey. My hands have broken out in an awful rash, the picture below is of when it started 2 days ago, at the moment, its about 15 x worse, they itch and burn very bad, like all of my follicles are inflamed.

Also, I dont know if this is a side effect of isotretanoin but I am having the worstttt back problems ever. Its starting to hurt just laying down flat on my bed, I cant bend over, and wearinf a backpack in school is stressful on my shoulders.

As for my face, I believe i now am experiencing thisa "sand paper" feeling on my nose and chin where my pores are clogged, finally theyre starting to come out, but theyre blacker than ever and I hate touching them.

My forehead is practically clear now, just two small pimples above my eyebrow. I have one small cyst on the side of my nose, and my chin is starting to clear up but its very scarred from previous picking.

My chest is practically clear now. The right side of my back is beautiful except for a lot of scarring, the left side is still just as bad as when I started.

Ive been feeling very tired and sad lately, Im just hoping these are side effects of the meds, I think im going to end up with a 3 month course seeing how fast ive been clearing up and, you know, hating all of these new side effects. But theyre totally worth it for perfect skin.

Anyways, that was a quick update, do any of you know of a certain cream or soemthing I can put on these rashes? please let me know!


I cant believe it, these past 3 weeks have just flown by. My rents say that they can see a difference, I am starting to as well. Not so many white heads, and currently 0 cysts! (even though I only got 1 or 2 a month) my blackheads are still bothering me, but I am noticing they are slowly pushing out, I dont have that so called "sand paper" feeling, maybe its because ive had it for the past 3 years and am so used to it.

My chest was clear for 2 or 3 days!! Now I just have some small red rash looking bumbs. but not actual acne, as for my back, its not as red but not clearing up any :/ oh well! Normally my back is hidden anyways, itll take some time, especially because the skin on your back is so much thicker than on your face and chest.

I just hope its pretty much clear by New Years, im having a mucho importante vaca <3

Just a little update since I havent posted in 2 weeks, good luck to you all and Merry (early) Christmas! (I only asked for one thing. CLEAR SKIN!)


So it's day 9 of my journey. It's going by very quickly, the first 4 days my forehead looked to be getting a bit worse, but now it's calmed down. I can see a change it redness of my face but no reducement in blemishes. Oh well I still have 4.5 months to go!

I have had an EXTREMELY dry face. Literally I would scratch my forehead and all these skin flakes would fall off onto my lap, it's so embarrassing! The corners of my nose are so ridiculously dry i can't stop itching them, so I put Vaseline on them hoping it would help.

My lips are so dry One side of my bottom lip split. I've already been through a whole tube of Chapstick too! I put Vaseline on that to hoping it will help.

But my biggest problem is I have been having the WORST back pain ever! I can lay flat in bed or turn to quick or else I get this sharp pain. I'm just hoping this wont affect my basketball season.

I just want it to be over! And I'm seeing close to no change :/ hope all is well for everyone else!


Today was the first day of hunting season in PA and while all of my friends were out worrying about if they were gonna catch a buck or not, I was inside worrying bout my pores. Its day 4 of my accutane journey. I found out the insurance wont cover my pills so its now $700 per month. Does this seem about right? Im thinking this will be my first and only month :/ But thats not what im worried about at the moment...

I have mild acne but a TON of blackheads, its discusting, and its what im most excited about getting rid of. Ive been looking at a lot of forums and theyre all giving me mixed opinions about accutane actually getting rid of them and diminishing pores.

So I have a question for you guys who are on, or have taken accutane before. Did it get rid of your black heads? About when? a month in or so? Did they fall out, did you exfoliate them all off, or did you wake up with them gone? Please share your stories! Im very anxious and looking for a little reassurance!

In ther news, day 4, still havent noticed any change, i broke out a teeny bit more on my forehead but im thinking its because I am no longer putting on my alcohol and topical cream at night.

Good luck to everyone!(:


The last thing anyone should do to an acne sufferer is point out their flaws. Its embarrassing and whether you were joking or not, it can really tear down a persons self-esteem. Since on accutane ive been using a tinted moisturizer. I know its not what the derms recommend but it helps smooth out my complexion a little, without using any makeup. However, I have had the tinted moisturizer since summer when i had a nice tan glowly complexion, and now that its winter, you can only imagine that on my pale, peeling face, it looks as if i got gang banged by a bunch or orange highlighters.

After church this morning, I went to "Life Teen" Which is where a group of high schoolers and some adults eat pizza and create fun activities to learn about God and such. It just so happened that in the activity of the day, I got paired up with my ex boyfriend of 8 months. He wouldnt leave me alone all morning, so I leaned my head down and kept to myself. Our leaders passed out some paper and markers for our next activity thing, and I grabbed the orange marker, because its my favorite color. Well since I refused to socialize or partake in the questions (partly due to my inability to make eye contact with anyone) I finished my craft very early. and for WHATEVER REASON. I decided to color my whole hand orange.

My ex looked at me and laughed, "What are you doing!? Hahaha you're orange enough!"

lol wut.

I honestly didnt even know what to say. Did the moisturizer look that bad? Why didnt anyone tell me? Does he not get why im wearing it? He quickly followed his remark with a "lol just kiddingggg!"

NO IT DOESNT WORK THAT WAY. Like you obviously said it for a reason. It hurts so much when someone points out your flaws, even if theyre just joking around, its something that really bothers me (as im sure many of you can relate) I wanted to cry sooo bad, totally ruined my day.

On a side note, day 3 of my accutane journey, nothing different to report yet, except my recent decline in happiness and confidence. I just gotta keep my head up, its been 3 years, I can handle another 5 months.


Uncertain But Willing

Hey everyone, my name is Nicole (Well actually its my middle name, But id rather not disclose my first name quite yet) I am 15 years old and have been struggling with acne since I was in 7th grade.

I started getting minimal spots in 6th grade but the end of 8th is when it really kicked off. I have mild acne, its mostly scarring now with the occasional break outs, but its the blackheads im most worried about. Not only that but my moderate case of bacne.

My skin has literally taken over my life. I refuse to go swimming with my friends when they ask because im so embarrassed of my bacne. Being a young teenage girl I should love to go out with friends and have fun, but id much rather stay at home on the weekends. ive turned down countless sleepovers, parties, family/old friend visits you name it, just because of my skin. I know behind all of it im a very pretty girl. But its impossible waking up everyday and going to a school where all of my friends have crystal clear skin, or coming home and watching tv where I watch models flaunt pure perfection.

There were nights earlier this year where my acne was so bad i literally cried myself to sleep. I will miss days of school because it is just so bad. it makes me feel ugly and worthless. I cant even hold a proper conversation with someone because i avoid eye contact as much as possible. I am moving to Florida my junior year (about 8 months or so) and I would really like a new beginning. I dont want to walk into my new school and already have people avoid me just for what I look like.

Anywho, I dont want to make this to long, so basically im just your average, fun-loving teenager who has been brought down by this awful condition. I really have no one to talk about it with seeing as everyone i know has perfect skin and cannot relate, which is why i joined this forum and created this blog. I feel as if everyone on here knows or has experienced what I am going through, its kind of like one big family. Everynight i will record my progress and hopefully you will join me through this incredible journey, I hope to look back at this 5 months from now and see how much of an improvement in confidence accutane has helped me achieve.

As of today its only day 2 of my accutane journey. 40 mg a day. This is my last resort considering I have been on at least 4 other pills and 6 different topical creams prior. I have done countless hours of research and have found many mixed opinions on the drug, i am uncertain about it, but for the mean of having cover girl skin, i am willing to go through with this treatment. All I can say now is that I hope the oh so feared IB isnt so bad on me, and the dryness/chappedness is not either.


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