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being phenomenal everyday is a tough job to work

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Hey guys, I haven't posted much of updates but as you would all know by now my acne is completely gone.

As much as I wanted to stay on the accutane and as much as I have tried to tough out the side effect this one is just way too harsh...

I'm losing a lot of hair right now. I tried taking Biotin when I noticed it, applying oils for the day and washing my hair least as possible.

However a few days ago I decided I seriously needed a shower. I was so scared to take one as every time I take one a lot of my hair falls out.

I took a shower and I could feel the hair falling down my back as I let the water splash on my head. The hair stuck onto the drain of the shower and I grabbed all of it after I was done showering to really examine how much I am losing. It was a ball of hair. An absolute ball of hair. I had had enough of it. I decided to quit cold turkey on accutane. I am VERY afraid that the acne will come back but I am more afraid of what my own eyes are witnessing right now and that is my extreme loss of hair. My hair is now noticeably thinner and it isn't as full as it once was. It would be an understatement to say i'm very sad about my hair and quitting accutane as well... I was thinking of starting retin-A as a daily routine, seeing as I saw that to be an excellent prevention when accutane users got off of it.

Accutane is absolutely a miracle. I honestly have no hard feelings towards it as it completely eliminated my severe acne... However I was just one of the unluncky ones with even as low as a dosage of 20mg a day I had severe hair loss as a side effect.

if anyone has any suggestions on what I should do, I would love to hear your opinions or suggestions...



So first off I want to say lets face it. No, really lets face it, we have acne. If your face is full of zits and you're all like "Why can they eat whatever the hell they want with a clear face and I can't cause supposeably it causes MY acne?" Well, I don't know much about whether things like eating junk food or such things as smoking can cause acne. I do however know that many people eat whatever they want and do not have a acne prone face. I was very stubborn in actually eating right and occassionally smoking once I got on Accutane. I thought I shouldn't have to, so I didn't for a while and continued to eat whatever I wanted. It is naive however to say bad food can't cause acne or that it can, all our bodies are different. If you were like me, being a stubborn little bastard and fighting yourself with drinking more water and NOT eating junk because of your acne just quit it. Quit it! Lets face it our face is full of FAT pimples, odds are against us regardless whether we want to believe it or not. I for sure know that conitnuing to do things to my body that didn't contribute to my overall health was just me being stubborn and stupid. The odds were against me and I was making it much worse. And I do know once I stopped eating junk, cutting down on my smoking, quitting those energy drinks and intaking A LOT of water everyday my face transformed itself.

Here's some advice. For the beginning of Accutane or therefore ANY treatment just quit all the bad stuff...Until you are clear. My face is untouchable right now as far as acne goes, I can eat some sugary food without paying a price. Ive had a few monsters this wk and have had no problems.

Accutane has been causing me some serious back aches. Ugh.

I learned that if I only wash my palms and not my whole hand I don't get rashes. I haven't since last time I reported on here.

Accutane has also caused this weird craving for BBQ chips. Seriously, wtf? Just kidding! Ha-ha

Ive had weird cravings all my life. I cannot stop eating BBQ chips today and ate a bag at work...

My scarring is still pretty bad. I read somewhere that if you have "pigmentation scarring" that it will fade after you are clear. However I do not see it "fading" and so I guess that Vitamin E Oil isn't working. I put it on in the night and when i wake up my face does look really better on how red the scars are, but I swear every time I wash my face it just looks the same. Only in the mornings does my face look great or close enough to it!

You know what's funny? I thought to myself I know what its like to have acne and go through it... Helping others in this situation would be a great job. Plus, from what I seen Derms look at you for half a second then prescribe you something and they're quicker than lightining! Did you see that Billy?!?! Huh?!!?Huh?!!?Didja didja?!?!

Billy: "It was a shooting star!"

"No billy, it was a dermatologist!"


SO I thought YEAH I can do that and probably contribute more of my time to my clients. However they do over 8 years of schooling. Too broke and so that dream fell apart, lol.

I will edit this later about how many days i've been on accutane. Hope all is going well for whomever reading this =)


Hi! Happy 2013 every one, I hope this is a better year for everyone! Okay well as I mentioned before I was still breaking out.

The first thing I choose to do to try to reduce the time frame of when I would break out and how much is I changed my daily lifestyle. I cut out fast foods, energy drinks (had to have one every day) and cut down on my smoking. I started drinking AS MUCH water as possible. And THAT did major changes immediately to my skin.

However after about 5 days or 6 of that I still continued to break out... It's nothing compared to what I used to have but it was still annoying. Then one day I saw and felt another pimple forming on my chin I had enough… I was like OMG RUBRUBRUB got a little desperate and started to put BP on it that night. The following day, it was completely gone. It never turned into a pimple or anything. I was clear on that area the next morning. Dry, but clear. . It makes sense. Your skin is thinning and putting treatment on your face like BP will easily dissolve and ultimately eliminate bacteria. So I started to put BP on the front of my face where I couldn't stop getting consistent breakouts.

First off I stopped breaking out altogether then Id say within 4 to 5 days I was clearing exceptionally well. In a week and a half I'm clear as can be. Accutane and BP are like butter and bread. Peanut butter and jelly! I think they work great together. For the majority of people while on Accutane you are still going to break out and BP really helps that ish! Or so well from my experience I've learned that.

I just want to point out some stupid mistake I made when I first started using BP. The BP I first started using was 10% dumb me didn't know about Dan saying 2.5% is only needed and that 10% only causes extra drying and peeling. Which it did, you shoulda saw me at work I looked like some freak with shedding skin!! Hahahaha Oh well it was getting rid of those stubborn pimples I didn't care much.

So if you are still suffering with the occasional pimples while on Accutane Id suggest BP.

I cannot take BP all over my face, it's too much but on my main prob areas it is bearable.

Honestly pimples have never been a big problem for me as soon as I started clearing up, it was the harsh scarring that I couldn't cover with make up that bothered me...

So, I started applying Vitamin E Oil to my face at night and it has been doing let me tell ya... wonders for my skin. =) The scarring is slowly going away.

Side effects:

Back Aches

Oh boy well my back aches have definitely got worse. It isn't anything dramatic but it aches more now.


I have these rashes all over my hands and i'm pretty sure i'm starting to get them on my neck. Lotion helps a lot with them.

Weird Pimples

I notice I get the oddest pimples. I had one on my neck, jawline, side of my hip? What? One underneath my mole ?!!? That looked funny. Ah yes and I even got one on my arm. I'm still waiting for one on my butt.


There was one day I was soooooooooooooo depressed for no damn reason. I could hardly smile and taking breaths seemed to be exhausting. I felt horrible inside that day. That is the one time I can say I think Accutane might have caused that really depressed feeling.

Loss of appetite

The combo of Cephalexin (antibiotic to help prevent IB) & Accutane made me have a complete loss of appetite. Then when I was hungry Cephalexin after eating would immediately "discharge" it. I couldn't keep anything in my stomach. I hardly ate and would eat maybe a small meal once a day. Im pretty sure I was losing much weight needed. Now that I'm slowly easing off Cephalexin I'm gaining my appetite back and my body is slowly adjusting without the antibiotic and at least it is keeping it in for a few hours.

Well everything is looking good and I'm looking forward to doing before and after pics!Woowee!!

HEY and it's my birthday! Not that any of you know me lol, but it's a cool day that only happens once a year =) Happy birthday to meee.


It ultimately feels like I've been on Accutane forever. I haven't stopped breaking out. I get the oddest pimples too. Just two days ago arose the most deepest beautiful pimple, actually i'm quite lucky it was on my chin line somewhere I prefer rather than on my cheeks or the "front of my face" so to speak. I cannot explain how much I hate not exfoliating! GRRR. I mean it. What I must say though is the right side of my face (mypointofview) is fighting me to its death. It really is, i'm having the hardest time getting close to completely clearing. I am just recovering from having a cluster of 3 pimples all together. I haven't had that happen to me in a month. Luckily they are small in size so from afar it just looks like 1 pimple, does that make it any better? Idk somehow to me it does, so lets leave it like that. lol

Ive been having trouble sleeping, been taking Nyquil for the night to help me since I keep forgetting to go buy some sleeping pills at my local drugstore.

I'm getting awfully tired of wearing make up but I'm a long ways from not wearing it. Besides the fact I've cleared up pretty well, I still have deep dark red scarring covering my face. I also need to make a trip to the mall to buy some makeup people have been raving about on coverage as far as acne sufferers go and that does not break them out with a fairly decent price. Can I get amen!

Lets see 42 days on Accutane. I think another month and ill be crystal clear. As I said I'm still breaking out.

Now that's all for solely acne stuff, if you are not interested in this lame story please exit now. If you are interested in reading some silly story about a silly girl please continue to read. Just thought Id share. =)

So the other day I felt like a stalker, never felt like a stalker in my entire life the way I did a few days ago. So before I start, let me tell you the bizz beforehand. I had met this guy twice at my work, I liked his physical features but most of all I liked his personality. I mean not that I knew much about him but what he showed me was he was a shy humble guy. I knew he liked me, I could tell and because he came in a second time to buy absolutely nothing. lol Keep in my mind we met when I had clear skin, doxy was still working for me at the time. Then a while ago once when I was out and about during my breakout sesh but had been on meds I thought my face didn’t look that bad to see him. I was totally wrong. I went in the store, said hi to him made some joke, and he was very short responsive. He failed to have any further convo or even past glances at me while I was shopping. I knew then and there it was because of my skin he was just no longer interested. I thought well, that’s that I’m never coming here again this was embarrassing enough. I seriously just walked out without getting anything after realizing that. But oh no, the other day when I was out shopping a stupid idea came to me, to stop by his store again. It was partially because my skin is just dandy right now besides the pimples on my right cheek and because I’ve been feeling alone lately. I walk in and the same ish happens. I say hi, ask if he remembers me, he says yes I then proceed to ask how hes been he gives me some short response like good and then I get called over by the cashier guy. I pay and say goodbye to that guy before I leave. I am officially a stalker for walking in that stupid store for the second time and I’m officially over it as well. At least I got the cutest jacket from there. =)

I now realize how much more pleasant, relaxing and fulfilling it would be if I met someone like me. Someone who knows what its like to have real acne, that have either gone through it or are getting treatment. How romantic would it be if we both went to go see the Derm together? Love at first pimple?! Hahahahahahah

No, but seriously I realize how nice it would be to meet someone with the same problem as I. Well anywho that's my romeo & juliet story for this blog entry. Oh I forgot....

Ummm, I bought the cute jacket and lived happily ever after with it.

the end.


Once again props to the lady working at Sephora!

I went to the mall recently and happened to go through a small sephora store.

One of the beautiful gals working there had problem skin. She had really bad cystic acne. I thought to myself wow that girl is amazing. Now I know I worked as a cashier through one of my worse breakouts ever and that was absolutely shitty. I never missed a day either. However I couldn't imagine working in make up retail, where it is based on your SKIN and other peoples skin and trying to give people advice on what to use... Most people who do not suffer with real acne, do not understand acne. Most people who don't have acne think it's what you're doing on that outside that is making your skin like that. So I couldn't imagine going to work trying to give people advice on what to use on their face when my face wasn't in good shape. So I ADMIRE her for that. So much. That gal is just brave and amazing. My respect and blessings on her journey to clear skin go out to her fully.

Anywho. Its been 34 days on accutane.


Pimples are small. I have about 3 or 4.

Pigmentation still all there! without any makeup I look the same as when I started all of my medication.

Cephalexin still not giving me any breaks on the bowel movements. Gross, I know. It is what it is.

Ummm that's about it, nothing dramatic ! I made a song about acne? Well a remix sorta haha Ill post it next time. Just came outta my ass one night when I was writing about life. Lol


I all together broke it off with Cetaphil. As I mentioned on here before the lotion was doing me no good and the more I paid attention to the cleanser found I wasn't happy with it either, or my skin wasn't. My ex Derm told me to use Cetaphil everything and my current Derm didn't mention any certain brand to me (he doesn't speak much) so I trusted the "derm". My skin just hasn't been agreeing with Cetaphil lately at all. So I decided to listen to my skin, as we all should regardless of what a professional says.

Onto my skin...

One of my best friends got into my car the other day and her response was "WOAH!"

Me:" What???" Thinking damn I knew my makeup looked shitty today but she said it was because my face looked so much clearer. I then happily smiled at her.

23 days!

The cephalexin has been really rough on my stomach lately, probably because I'm sick right now.

Accutane has been extremely tough on my lips. It hurts to smile right now which I hate because I find everything funny and am always smiling.

My face is much much clearer, I do personal vids on my labtop for myself (since the begining when Doxy stopped working) and i've come such a long way. Ill post some pics as soon as the pigmentation goes away, cause with it you can't see a difference. I do have this 1 odd big size of Texas pimple below my eye ontop of the apple of my cheek. It's huge and nasty. That is something bugging me.

can anyone help me with something to buy for my chapped lips? Blistex just makes my lips burn.


The Good And Bad!

Can't sleep thought I'd write a few things that have helped and haven't helped my skin clear up.

Things I have found are bad for my Skin-

Cetaphil lotion has definitely contributed to my acne worsening.

I was reading a lot of reviews about Cetaphil and it being so over hyped and not good for problem skin.

Idk I read terrible things about the wash too but I have no personal problems with it.

The lotion however lays really heavily and really seems to aggravate my skin.

Topicals. It never FAILS that topicals break me out into a cystic hell hole.

Things That Help-

Sleep. Every time I get a good nights rest, my face looks better in the morning.


Makeup. Odd I know but it almost seems like makeup helps. It's almost like it creates a barrier for bacteria.

Positivity. When I'm depressed or down I always break out. When I'm less focused on the negative things, or especially less focused on my acne, my face seems to react well.

Washing my face only ONCE a day. Twice a day for my face is over doing it. I find myself with a more bumpy face if I wash twice a day. Once the day is over and I wash my face that is enough. In morning and night is over kill.


One day i'm like YAY and the next i'm like nay. Ups and downs with Accutane. One day it seems like progress is looking amazing and the next I have new pimples. 2 days ago I wanted to write a blog but i didn't because it hadn't been two weeks. I was super excited that day because I finally paid attention to my skin since I had been obsessing over my hair that had been purple, gray and platinum (bleaching problems). Lol@ not a natural blonde problems.

I had noticed the left side of my face had cleared up really well. Well that island of pimples all smothered together had gone away.

Today not so excited because I have three new pimples on my right side of my face.

On a more positive note the pimples on the sides of my face by my hair line are all cleared, completely clear there where i was having a lot of trouble with. I still have a good amount of pimples on my face, small ones. They have all greatly reduced in size and I can say that I have gone to severe to mild now. I just feel like progress is so slow.... Ive been on Cephalexin for 3 weeks now and a couple of days. Along with accutane for now 2 weeks and the pimples in my opinon are still a lot and have only reduced in sized...

The skin on my face seems the same not flaking or peeling. Pigmentation still really awful. I cannot tell how my progress is going until I put makeup on covering the redness and showing the actual bumps (pimples) which makes me feel bad for guys who obviously don't put on makeup and deal with the pigmentation.

Side Effects:

The only constant side effect is the dry lips. Which oddly enough I really enjoy, I have naturally small lips and now they look much "fuller".

The sensitivity to the sun is such a pain in the rear! Oh yes and I was in the sun for only 2 minutes and my nose burned.

The constant side effects from cephalexin again are the bowel movements.

My nose on the inside gets terribly dry so I dab Cetaphil lotion in there.

No joint paints yet, thankyoubabyjesus.


Almost a week on Accutane! SO EXCITED.

Side effects from Accutane i've been getting are headaches and a new one today dry lips. At the start of my work shift I was like "Hm my lips feel a little dry" and by the end of day I was like "OMG I NEED CHAPSTICK" . It was really weird how it progressed pretty intensely throughout 1 day.

Side effects from Cephalexin are no doubt the bowel movements. 3 times today the worse i've had it from Cephalexin. Ive been on Cephalexin for almost 2 weeks. Oh and another side effect (a weird one) I am getting from Cephalexin is how hungry it makes me! Im hungry all the time!! I take that pill and 30 to 45 mins later I am starving.

As far as my acne goes, I still have a ton of pigmentation going on. My pimples are greatly reduced in size and I have less. I still have this weird patch of small cystic pimples on the left side of my face it looks like a square island of it's own.

A difference in my acne is already showing to the point where my supervisor mentioned it to me without me even bringing my acne up!

Also my face is not as bad as anymore because children are not mentioning my skin anymore as they would every time (I lie to you not) I went into work. They would ask something like "What's wrong with your face?" "Why do you have so much pimples?" "You have a lot of bumps on your face"

.... you can only imagine how happy I am a child can look at me without saying anything about my acne anymore.

First starting off I had reg sized pimples all over my face and medium sized cystic pimple islands on my face where the hollow of my cheeks are, I get acne the worse there. They were very good sized and inflamed and would puss out during my work shift. I swear my face hurt so bad during work I nearly couldn't stand it.

Progress is looking good.



I currently feel like i'm going through a break up with acne.

I was on Doxy for a good 6 to 8 months till my system got immuned to the anitbiotics. My acne quickly became cystic and painful.

For a while I wasn't financially able to see a derm so it took a while. Then finally I went to see a derm and got prescribed Cephalexin and Accutane.

Slowly but surely it's going away.

I feel like i'm going through a break up with it, lol.

I'm not an insecure person but acne makes me feel like one. Ha, one thing I specifically remember someone telling me is "Not to be mean or anything but I know if you are a real secure person you wouldn't let it get to you."

This I was told after I had been emotionally abused by customers at my job that were constantly pointing out my skin and it slowly breaking me down. Looking back on what that person told me is just ridiculous. When you're face looks like a train track how the hell can you possibly be confident with yourself? Who in the fucking world would be confident with themselves? I don't give a damn how attractive you really are underneath all that acne. GET REAL.

Some people can be so ignorant to the fact of what acne really is and yes I'm sure I can understand her ignorance because the person who told me that never had acne in her entire life. That's what pisses me off, people who talk to me and say "Oh its not that bad, get over it" when these people are ones with clear faces and as soon as they get ONE single pimple they are whinning their lives away. WTF$^$&#&%#^

Sorry, a bit of a rant but I can't help it...

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