so i haven't written in a few months, it's spring finally! it's lovely, it's warm ish, it's sunny. yay!
but i've changed my foundation to clinique and i thin it's playing havok with my skin because i have got tiny spots. i haven't had this many spots in ages...it's getting me down. they're not even major spots, but it's bad enough! i just looked at my old accutane photos and i cannot believe how much fuss i'm making now after i looked like that a year ago...
so i've got tiny insignificant spots, but there's been quite a few of them in the past month or so since i started using the clinique foundation rather than elizabeth arden. i changed to clinique because i didn't need such a thick pastey foundation anymore as my pigmentation is getting better. so i got clinique which is thinner and lighter but...i'm not happy. i really do think it's the cause of giving me skin trouble again.
the only other thing i can think of is that i've been stressing about my grandad being in hospital. but i don't stress too much, not more than anything else. unless it's subconscious. anyways. i don't really know what to do, because i don't want to go back to elizabeth arden makeup as it's Â£25 a pot and it's not much in a pot...but maybe it's worth it? but it's a plumping foundation as the ageing skin foundations are thicker and give more coverage...and i don't need the coverage and i don't need the plumping. ARGH HELP!
sigh. i do have under the skin spots, too. like...minor cysts maybe. i think i've had about two or three (whos knows?!) in the past week. but they're small ones. and i don't know if they're definitely cysts. but it upsets me. i lay awake for quite a while last night worrying about what to do. i think maybe i should just go back to thick good expensive makeup and see what happens...but i don't know. i've still got my clinique makeup to use. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i've put retin-a on the spots o've had and it made a tiny minor cyst go. but i don't like the drying effect it has. it's annoying. i don't know. i'm just panicking a bit and stressing out. but i don't want to! it'll make it worse!
i wonder if i should see if the doctor/dermatologist will put me on dianette. but i don't actually know how to go about seeing my dermatologist again because...i don't have a number. do i go through the GP again? or do i call the hospital and ask? if i go through the GP it'll be WEEKSSSSS and maybe months. arghhhhhh!
i think that i do panic when i get spots, because of a fear of getting severe acne again. but maybe it'll clear up. or maybe i can just live with minor spots. i don't know.
i've been touching and lightly squeezing and my face is all red so i've washed my face again and left it with tea tree on the spots...please go away spots!!! all that seems to come out of the spots is water. why!!
boo hoo. i'm stressing out.
i've got to calm down and get on with my uni journal...
people get spots worse than this and don't panic, why should i? sigh.