so the gods decided to look upon me in favor. (as the heavens open and sing sweet sweet music)my mother finally called the derm and i am going on accutane. things seem to be looking up but....
my sisters have gone on accutane twice already and, well not to be a be-yatch, but their skin is looking kind of shabby. that is not comforting. also my father's skin resembles the moon's surface.
i went on b.c. a few months ago which seems to have helped but at the same time not. i go off and on with my opinion towards my skin. although i'm pretty positive it has some deep hatred for me and is out to ruin me. it seems to be very well behaved when i am stuck in my house or won't be seeing anyone who's opinion i care about, but the second i step out the door BAM! i've got a new colony on my face. it gets pretty awkward.
my other giant problem is the red marks left behind. i don't know how to even begin to get rid of them and i can barely cover them up. very frustrating. but i recently read something about using apple cider vinegar and water. sounds odd, but i wonder if it's worth trying.
i know it is very very extremely selfish of me to feel the way i do about it (i mean, i could have missing limbs or something, talk about a problem) but its so frustrating and honestly upsetting. worst is walking around and seeing these people with perfect skin. and i hatehatehate when they complain about one darn zit to me. i mean honestly, if you want to complain, fine you have every right to, but you seriously think i am the best person to do that to. i just refuse to be sympathetic about your one zit that i didn't even notice until you pointed it out. i wish they would refrain from that.
back to accutane... i went to the ipledge website (so very extreme! i think the pictures they show of what a baby could end up like is reason enough for me to be abstinent for a few months) and it said that the number i put in wasn't valid. i checked it several times to make sure i was typing it right and i was so... does that mean that my doctor hasn't set up her end yet or what? i'm a little confused.
off to wallow in self pity
'til next time
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