I've never really sincerely kept up a blog about anything of significance. for a brief time I used xanga, but that sort of just turned into an online inside joke between a friend and myself; utterly useless to all other people.
but lately I feel like I need a real outlet for this rollercoaster of emotions I've been on with regards to my skin. up. down. happy. sad. elated. crying. I feel bipolar and yet I know these emotional fluctuations are contingent upon my current acne severity. which, to be fair, isn't as tragic as I make it out to be or that I've seen on this website. but still, it is mine, and it makes me unhappy.
in 3 weeks or less I am flying out to visit Patrick, whom I may possibly be in love with (and he with me), that I haven't seen in 4 years. as life would have it, my skin is started to break out with a fierceness I haven't seen since high school. yes, I know he will and does like me for who I am, how I make him feel, and probably my boobs, but it's not unreasonable for me to feel like my face is part of what he is attracted to. thus, I want it to be clear. I want him to see me. not my acne.
so the countdown begins.
current mood: hopeful but skeptical.
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