I'm not really much of a writer in my opinion but after reading so many posts, I've decided to write a little. (sorry if this is too long..)
I have had acne since I was about 12 years old. It was very mild as a preteen and it didn't really affect me until I got into high school. There were all these girls that had faces full of make-up and crystal-clear skin, along with their skinny bodies and nice clothing. I didn't aspire to look like them, I just wanted to look nice. I wore some simple eyeshadow and usually that was it. I would not get that many zits freshman year, and if I did, they were very minor.
Even sophomore year I had just a few pimples here and there, but they wouldn't stop me from feeling good about myself. Then during the summer before my junior year, I started breaking out worse on my face for some reason. I tried not to let it affect me and just be ok with it. Last year, I went to the beach with my "best friend" at the time. That's when my acne was bad, 4 or 5 mega-zits, plus a sunburn, making my skin look even worse. I already was trying my hardest to get rid of it when my best friend's mom decided to sit me down and tell me that I needed to go to a dermatologist. I got really, really upset when she said that, started crying, and got very pissed off at my friend because she didn't even seem to care.
That day was really emotional for me, and unfortunately, was one of the only things that I remember from that beach trip.
Recently, I went to the beach with another "friend" who made me feel more insecure about myself than I've ever felt before. She would force me to wash my face and pop the zits on my face and back. She flat-out told me that I have "a lot" of acne. I still don't understand why she cared so much. They were my zits, not hers. Why did she have to care so much?
Her focus on my acne made me focus more on my acne as well. I became obsessed with my pimples. I would pick and pop at my zits, use horrible acne cleansers that made my skin WORSE and cover them up like crazy. I just feel so stupid for letting acne take over who I am and make me some anti-social, overly self-conscious person. If I could turn back time, I would just say f*** it and not care so much. What's the point?
I am trying to be much nicer to my skin now and not pick it so much, yet I still do. As a result, I have a lot of redmarks. But who cares anymore? There's more important things in life.
I wrote all of this crap basically to say that you should NEVER let anyone tell you that you're not beautiful. Please don't hate yourself for something as stupid as pimples, red marks, acne scars, because you are more important than your acne.
(btw, my acne really wasn't severe or cystic, just moderate. I wish I would have made it less of a big deal )
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