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Del!

Day 48

well 7 weeks on the regimen is up (almost)!

I had my prescription for accutane yesterday and am starting it today.

My skin isnt looking that bad if im honest, but the BP has given me scars for sure and also made me break out in places that I never usually did. The BP also failed to get rid of spots tat had been sat under the skin for 6 weeks!

I hope my blog has helped some people?! If you want to follow my accutane journey then please do - I have a log going on the message boards.

Thanks for reading!

Over and OUT!

Del!

Day 46

Well its my derm appointment tomorrow and I actually felt quite sad this evening that this may be the last time that I am applying bp in the night. Going to be strange! Gonna make this quick as am going to watch a film with my daughter.

Cluster on left cheek, small but stil annoying. one had scabbed over and when I was taking my makeup off the scab came off and it bled! being puuting sudocrem on it to help it heal quickly but not working! theres about 5 litle bumps there that are all going to purge on the tane!!

GOOD NEWS - one of the bumps that has been on my head for about 6 weeks, came to a kind of head, well i squeezed it anyway and heres hoping that is one down! really hope it will just be a scab tomoz coz its quite small and not that noticable as long as it does not swell up!

I had a blackhead on my chin which i squeezed and oh my god the amount of solid white puss that came out was kind of cool!!!

one of the lumps on my left jaw line has gone - yes gone, I cant find it!! the other one that I thought had filled back up kind of scabbed over and has gone. the one on the other side is stil there.

Lots of cloges pores and stuff but they are only noticable if you look close. If it wasnt for the cluster (which dont look that bad at all really, just in my head they do) my skin would look ok. Guted about that cluster coz they only came after I started BPing. I never had spots on my cheek so I know BP caused them - whatever - they are getting purged very soon hopefully!

I also have these two littl millia (SP) spots under my left eye that have been there ages but are tiny so not that bothered. Need to ask the dermy what to do about them, do I squeeze them or will the tane push em out?

I will update tomorow! FIngers crossed!

Del!

Day 45

well it is day 45 and if i am honest it has gone really quickly!

face situation - cluster of little spots still on left cheek, ive attacked 2 of them so about 4 left.

Three bumps still on my head, they are not shifting! spot on the other side of my head has gone down a bit. little bump on either side of jaw line still there and a cyst that i got rid of a week or so back has returned on my jaw line. it is small but very painful. black heads and clogged pores everywhere. only one little bump left above my lip.

Ive been taking 200mg of mino since my derm appt last week and Ive been putting a bit more bp on than usual and still using the AHA. No real dryness, nothing silly anyway. the aha no longer tingles or anything which is good.

hoping to start accutane monday or tuesday. everything crossed!!!

xx

Del!

Day 43

ok so over 6 weeks in and skin still looking shit!

1 spot on my head, 4 little bumps under the skin, two of which are getting bigger and have also been there for over 4 weeks.

new lump on either side of jaw line.

One of the spots in a cluster on my left cheek came to head last night, theres about 5 left there. AHA hasnt touched them so I am guessing they will come when they are ready.

About 6 or 7 clogged pore/ blackhead things around my mouth....and the spot above my lip brought two little friends!

going insane now, really hoping my bloods are ok so I can start accutane next week coz I cant take much more of this. If everythin purges at the same time with the stuff I have under the skin right now, my face is going to explode so I hope I can get rid of a few of them before next week.

feeling quite shit today.

Del!

day 41

so the hype of yesterday has died down a bit now! I am going to keep up with dans regimen log until I start with accutane.

Still taking mino - and have doubled my dosage for the next week am now taking 200mg instead of 100mg per day. I googled it and many people with severe acne take this amount anyway so I am just tring to give myself the best chance of fighting the dreaded IB!

Im not a lucky person...never have been, so I know I will get a nasty IB so I am BPing and minocycling away for the next week!!!

Custer of bumps still on cheek, one of them is now raised, scabs on jaw line from where i popped things but they are small, red mark on hair line, 3 bumps on head, few new little bumps around my mouth and new spot above my lip! This is nearly 6 weeks into the regimen!! This is after 2 months of mino!!

My acne is not severe, but it is god damn persistant!!

Post tomorrow guys

xxx

UPDATE

So the spot above my lip came up this morning, a few hours ago it was a lump under the skin so I bp'd it, then put loads of aha on, then and hour later bp''d it again and I just checked it and it had a head not like a gunky yellow one but a solid white one! Madness! So I squeezed it and omg how much puss came out of it! Why is it always the ones by the lip that are filled with endless gunk!?

So then I put a bit of emu oil on a tissue then dabbed it on, I've read good things about it so thought I would try it! Some savlon on before bed and hope for the best! May buy some neosporin off ebay tomoz coz that's meant to be good!

Del!

accutane time!!

So I've had my bloods done and as long as they are ok I will pick up my prescription next week!!

Derm was really good and understanding and he suggested it, I didn't have to beg or plead! So here's hoping that next week I can start a 4 month course on 40mg!!

This blog is soon to change people-hopefully! I'm scared and excited!

If anyone reading this knows about the cumulative dose please let me know coz I don't understand it!!

Del!

Well the day is here and my face looks crap today which is probably a good thing! The one lump on my jaw line that was big last night - well I popped it last night and there was a lot of bloody crap init! The one on my chin had a head last night so popped that. And the one on my hairline had it too! The other one on my jaw line had a head on this morning so I had to squeeze that before I could leave the house! So 4 healing spots on my face and one inflamed blackhead coz I messed with it last night! Normally I wouldn't leave the house looking like this but coz I'm going to the derm I just don't care!!

I'm nervous and excited at the same ...... Shall post again after the appointment in a few hours time....60 mile drive now but my friend is taking me so at least I can chill and navigate!

Wish me luck guys!

Del!

day 39

SPOT CHECK - still two on my jaw line, one of which is getting ready to be big.....another one joined the one on my hairline, one more to join the three on my head and the little bumps on my left cheek are back - oh and one on my chin! So I am in my 6th week and deffo not clear! i think dan needs to change the what to expect page coz honestly it is not right!!

Derm appointment tomorrow...will let you know how I get on!

Del!

day 37

Hi! Well I used the AHA again last night around my mouth and I used moisturiser after and my skin wasnt too dry this morning.

Spot check - two bumps still on my jaw line, 1 on my hair line and still 3 on my head! Few blackheads on my chin and above my lip. The ones on my jaw line dont want to die but they are quite small at the moment and the ones on my head - well, I think Im the onlyone that can see them right now, but I would prefer them to DIE!!!

Still not drinking green tea, not taking MSM or Lecethin ....am now taking 1gram of B5 but wont go any higher as Ive been there and done that!!

Not much else to report really....derm appointment in 3 days!

Hope you're all ok...going to have a relaxing night now!

BYE!!

Del!

Day 35

hey guys....well my skin is still really dry around my mouth area which is pants! it looks awful and feels so tight...used a tiny amount of bp tonight and will maybe use aha tomorrow night if the dryness has subsided a bit.

ive had to put loads of moisturizer on tonight and will put more on before bed.

spot wise i was ok this morning but now i have two more little bumps on my right jaw line and a new pimple on my chin which was tiny but i still attacked it! a lot of healing going on and stil 3 bumps on my head!!

i went to the doctor today to get more minocycline and she said I was looking better which is good!

Got another two months worth off her but I told her that it was really affecting my stomach ....she asked if i could tolerate it and I said yes but not for much longer. She said I would be better off talking to the derm next week so thats what I will do!

Im really expecting a massive breakout coz i have been eating really badly the last 4/5 days...really bad!! but its been so nice to eat some unhealthy food....i missed chocolate!

Anyhow night all

xxxx

Del!

Day 34

Oh my god my face is dry dry dry! I tought the AHA was meant to exfoliate? All around my mouth is so flakey, its like starting the regimen all over again! Going to lay off the aha round my mouth for a few days and just moisturise....seriously the amount of skin that came off this morning was insane! I may have to not out bp there tonight just to try and sort it out a bit!! I really want to use the jojoba oil but im scared that it was holding me back a bit!

Still got three bumps on my head! both umps on my jaw line had heads last night but one of them didnt want to die, so even though i popped it, it had puss init again this morning! the one on the other side has flattened out this morning.

Still not impressed with how this is going!

Cant wait to take my makeup off and moisturise my face!

Maybe the AHA irritated my skin a bit and caused the flakyness? I dont know but it has caused no problems on the rest of my face and it was only round my mouth that it tingled.

Anyway, will use it on the rest of my face tonight and just normal moisturiser round my mouth.

Derm appt next monday!! yay!

xxx

Del!

Day 33

Well its coming up for 5 weeks and I am still miserable!

New lump on my jaw line - one on either side! One if them has been a tiny bump for about 6 weeks and the other olny started forming a few days ago. They are rght under the jaw so leaving them well alone for as long as i can!

Still got three bumps on my head...when will they go away!

The blackheads i played with last night? Well one on my chin scabbed over and i pulled it off so i have a tiny wound on my face that really hurts!

Started using the AHA last night, just a little bit all over my face, I am really hoping itwill help to even my face out a bit!!

The family stuff is over now so if i react badly to it then i can hide away for a while!!

Derm appointment this tie next week! YAY!!!!!

xxx

Del!

32 days on the regimen

okay so its been 32 days...yesterday was the wedding and it went really well, i avoided mirrors and just had fun!

By the time I got home a huge spot had come up on my hair line so it had been hidden but it really hurts today!

Loads of little blackheads keep surfacing on my chin and they are really pissing me off! I just squeezed a few out and i know i shouldnt have but im just hoping that nothing more comes of them!! Knowing my luck they will be all inflamed by tomorrow!

Still got tre bumps on my head, dont know how long they have been there now but it must be well over a week! dunno what they are, they are pinhead size under the skin...wtf?!

Still got two little lumps next to my mouth, one of them has got 3 or 4 little puss sacks in it now! GRRR!

ANYWAY.......

derm appt in one week.....yay! It has gone quickly, but not quick enough!!

Will keep you all posted for te next week but im realy hoping that this blog turns into an accutane log in the next few weeks! get all this over with once and for all!

xx

Del!

so today was graduation day and it went well except i spent the whole day thinking about my face. By midday my skin was really oily and urgggh. I have so much scarring on my face its mad, im starting to notice them alot more now and the one by my mouth is going to leave a really bad scar which im hoping the derm will be able to help with. Its really depressing that in the 8 monthsmy acne has been bad, this much damage has been done to my face. But ive honestly got scars that have come since using the bp, places where I havent had spots, its like the skin has pealed off and left a scar! its crazy!

Anyway, spot check, the one on my chin that came up on wed got popped on wed night and by today it was just a mark. Still got two lillt lumps next to my mouth which i think im going to have to have removed by the derm coz they are deep ut no inflamed puss filled sacks! dont know what the hell they are!

New spots comming up on jaw line - about thre, one on each side of my chin and still have two on my head. few clogged pores on my cheek but im not going to play with them coz ive got a wedding to go to tomorow and I look bad enough without messing with things!

I really cant get over the scarring ive got, its insane!

Really cant wait for my derm appointment now! 9 days and itll be here!

xx

Del!

one month down

Well its been 4 weeks and according to the what to expect page I should be pretty much clear now, but I'm not!

Still have two lumps next to my lip and there is puss in there but it isn't coming to a head at all so just going to have to leave them be. So annoying coz they both scabbed over, scab came off, more puss there! Wtf!!

New spot on my chin which is growing so I'm in two minds whether to pop it or leave it alone!

3 tiny new little spots have come up above my lip and still have some lilltle bumps under the skin on my head. One new liitle lump has shown up on my. Jaw as well. So all in all not feeling too good about having graduation and a wedding this weekend.

I'm just so fed up of this. I hate waking up each morning to inspect my face!

Derm appointment in 11 days. Still undecided as to whether I should push for accutane or not, its a scary prospect!

Anyway, will update tomorrow!!

Xxx

Del!

day 26

Is it wrong that I am more excited about going to the dermatologist in 13 days, than I am about my graduation or my sisters wedding?!

Update, still dealing with the remains of the nodule from over 4 weeks ago. Its still a lump but I'm going to have to leave it alone. It just doesn't want to die!! Next to it is another little lump which I'm hoping will deflate soon! There is something waiting to come up on my chin and a few little scabs too.

The spot that came up on my head yesterday that I popped has flattened down and is just a red mark now.

The bp has really brought out previous red marks that were pretty much gone but now they look worse for some reason! My chin looks a mess to be honest!! 4 days til graduation and I keep telling myself that I'm going to enjoy it no matter what but I don't think I will. Its going to be really hard.

I've had to use a little less bp last night and this morning coz my skin was so dry and flakey. Still not using the jojoba oil just incase it was making things worse.

I dreamt last night I was on accutane! What a dream! Hopefully it will be a reality soon!!

Xxx

Del!

bleh

Well graduation is in 5 days, my sisters wedding is in 6 days....

one of the spots on my head decided to show its head today tiny bit of puss came out so hoping that will go down abit by tomorrow.

Where the nodile was 4 weeks ago is still a little inflamed and there is deffo still puss under it and I HAVE to resist picking at it. I have to not pick anything this week so that I dont have any scabs next week. think i would rather have spots than scabs.

The lump that was by my lip was puss filled friday night as was a little bump by my lip - and i swear thatbump had been there for weeks so gently pricked them with a needle and puss came out, they scabbed over and today they are just red marks so i'm icing them flat out. a new spot came up on my left jaw line last night with a head - pricked it, popped it and today is just a little red mark, same for two on the right side of my jaw.

I am starting to think that the jojoba oil may have broken me out as things were going good until I started massagin my face with it so I didnt do it last night and wont for a bit longer, see if that works.

Have stopped taking niacin coz my stomach was really bad since taking it so that is no more! Have not drunk green tea for days either!! I dont really miss it, drinking mint tea and ginger and lemon tea instead. As of tomorrow, no more lecethin or msm supplements.

I really dont think diet and acne are related for me, but I will carry on eating really healthy this week, stil staying away from dairy fatty foods etc.

I finally found the courage to tell my friends about how down I am feelin and explained that I am going to go see a derm about accutane in 2 weeks. Sent them all a message on facebook explaining everything so I feel good that I ot if out my chest. Hopefully they will all be understanding about things now!!

really hoping my skin will heal up abit now and that any spots will stay hidden for the next few days. Really want to enjoy my graduation and my sisters wedding!

Cant wait to see a derm......2 week countdown begins now!!

xxx

Del!

Day 24

Well my face looks crappy today! 3 scabby marks by mouth 2 new bumps on left jaw and a new bump on my chin. Still got those 4 on my head too which are going to prout at the same time prob on the morning of my graduation!

Uch! On the plus side, the little one that have come up on my jaw haw popped and gone down quite quickliy, like there one day, tiny scab for a day or two, then gone. So thats good, obviously they leave a red mark bt my face is full of them anyway so thats just something I have to get used to!

had a 12 hour sleep last night and still feel tired!!

I have stopped taking the niacin coz since I started I have a bad stomach every morning. Didnt ake it yest and no bad tummy today - maybe its linked, maybe its not, I dunno. Also going to stop with most of the supplements coz i take too much.

I get enough lecetihin from things i eat so stopping that. Im just gonna take :

2x acidophilis

2xvit c

1xvit e

1x bcomplex

1xstarflower oil

2xzinc

1xcodliver fishoil

xx

Del!

End of Day 23

Well Im getting so frustrated, honestly about 3 more have pooped up on my chin through out the course of the day! Im using nearly the full amount of BP - which is fine coz im missing out part of my cheeks.

My left cheek is covered in loads of little bumps now, the left side of my mouth looks awful and ther is something big brewing on my chin, still 4 bumps under the skin on my head. Honestly, my face looks a mess, such a difference from last night!

So I rang the hospital to see how long the wait was for me to see a derm and its 4 months....so...

I rang a private derm 60 miles away(!!!!) and have an apt in 2 weeks and 3 days and counting. Obviously my face is going to be fuct for graduation and my sisters wedding next weekend but heres to hoping that the derm can give me something!

Its gonna cost £130 for the initial consultation but sod it, it has to be done. Its not like I spend money on going out or anything!! Can I really do accutane though? Im scared, like really scared but I feel like it is my last hope at saving my face. :pray:

Del!

fuck fuck fuck

Well its amazing how much can change in a day! Last night I thought my skin looked ok and went to bed feelin all right about it!

Wake up this morning, new spot on the jawline, that's the third in three days, a lump forming by my mouth which is really swollen and I think will turn into a nodule!

And where the old nodule was healing from 4 weeks ago, was just a little bit of skin dangling off so I gently rubbed it and my face started pissong with blood!!

Great, another wound and another scab! I have had enough!

My face looks worse now than before I started and I'm starting to have serious doubts this is going to work.

Four bumps on my head still waiting to come a play and a few more on my chin. Graduation is in a week and I really don't know what I'm going to do! I can't go when I look like this.

Worse still, I read through my letter from the derm and what it actually says is ....we will write to you 4 weeks before your appointment is due, meaning I may not have an appointment for months.

Seriously had enough now! Minocycline is nearly at the 6 week mark so that should be working by now but its not.

Why me!?

Del!

So - this morning - new spot come up on right side of jaw but it seems quite small so by the end of the day it should hopefully have a little head and piss off within a few days.

I popped one on my cheek last night coz it had a propper head and that looks quite red today.

New spot this morning on my hairline on the right side of my head and still got all these little bumps on my head which are really annoyin me!

Little bumps under my eye area on the right side too.

Dont know whats going on with the area where the nodule was and im not playing with it, LEAVING IT ALONE!!

Couple of new tiny bumps on my chin area too. Skin is proper still purging and I really hope its going to stop soon!

Really just want a derm appointment now :pray:

every night m thinking about what Im going to say to him to convince him that I need either accutane or spiro.

Im worried that he is just going to give my some topical stuff which I dont want! I want to get rid of this acne from the inside!!

Still not taking my multivitamin, I bought vitamin K coz thats one that I was missing, also taking codliver oil that has A and D in it. Still taking all the other sups, dont think that niacin is the miracle cure for me though! the thread I read detailed how the op didnt get one pimple after starting taking it!

have started drinking mint tea today instead of green, its supposed to be good for you so we shall see!!

Realy hoping to see some improvement by this time next week, fingers crossed for me people!!

xxx

Del!

day 21

Well most people are bragging about how they are clear now but no not me!!

The little spot on my jawline got a head last night so I pooped it.

Got another tiny bump under my eye which is really odd!

Where the scab came off there are two- yes two puss sacks! Not really raised or anything but I can see them,

5 bumps on my head!! Yes 5! And two new little bumps on my chin!!

This is getting really stupid now!!

On the what to expect page it says most people are clear by now!

What am I doing wrong??

Getting really pissed off now and feeling really down. I really need this to work!

Xxx

Del!

Day 20

Hi guys, well i wish things were better but to be honest I still feel pretty crap about my skin. A new spot on my cheek today, only tiny but I never get them on my cheeks - until i started using BP so I think im gonna stop putting it on my cheeks. New one coming up on my jawline but it doesnt feel huge, none the less its still there!

The scab came off quite nicely last night but Im pretty sure there is another white pussy thing in its place! not sure though so will keep BPing flat out!

Few little bumps on my head still havent done anything and to be honest they are prob not noticable to anybody else.

The wound is stil a mark and the red mark next to the wound is still quite visible.

Ive read through so many stories on the review pages and it seems even people with severe acne were 99% clear by 3 weeks!! very few say it took them months to see results! So why me!!??

I think my face is worse coz im still recovering from that purging breakout so it does look quite bad.

Cant wait to see a derm now but they will prob think its not severe enough for accutane....and ive been reading all the negative stories and I really shouldnt have!!

On a different note, ive read that green tea has caused breakouts in some people so I am going to stop!!

Who knows - it may make make a difference!! I wish it was that simple! wouldnt that be great!

Anyhow, speak to ya tomoz!! (unless anything hideous pops up between now and tonight - which I know is very possible!!))

xx

xxx

Del!

Day 19

I cannot believe it has been nearly three weeks, its gone really quickly - still wishing that I had started this regimen months ago though!!

Before i go any further, I have t tell you all about something ridiculous that I read last night...

So i was reading up about supplements and skin and all that crap and I came across one guy who CLAIMS that BLACKHEADS are WORMS under the SKIN! WTF??? I almost wet myself when I read it!!

Seriously, derranged is not the word! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but please? At least make it believable! and the worst thing was - people were commenting on it, asking how it could be treated and so on! This was all on my mobile last night and I cannot find the site now, but I will try and find it and post the link!!

As far as skin goes, scab is looking awful but should come off tomorrow hopefully and just leave a red mark, the 'wound' has scarred and looks quite bad, the spot that was next to it is a red mark now but still looks awful. One little inflamed blackhead thing on the right and a small spot on the right by my eye. Still got bumps on my head and a couple on my jaw line, but they arent really that noticable. Face was VERY flakey this morning, despite doing th jojoba oil massage last night. It seems to be worse in the morning than the evening for some reason!

Hoping this scab comes off soon coz honestly it looks awful! It didnt look too bad before i put make up on but now it looks all dry and crusty - resisting temptation to pick!!

Any how, been thinking about my derm appt and Im wondering whether to try spiro or not before accutane - coz i really doubt that I will be granted it! Does anyone have any opinions on this??

Anyhow, speak to you later guys

xxx

Del!

Day 18

good morning all! I feel cheerful today coz I had such a good sleep last night - witht the help of sleeping tablets from the doctor! Ive had trouble sleepin for months now which I thought was exam stress but my body is in the routine now of getting up before 5 every morning, regardless of what time i go to bed! I blame the vitamin b5 i tried megadosing on coz it only started then!

So any

way the doc gave me sleeping pills and ive taken them a few times but didn think they worked at all, so last night i took 2 then when i woke by 5 I took another one. I know this isnt the best thing to do but it nocked me out til 8,30 this morning! i havent slept til that time for months and months, prob not since last year!

Only drawback is now I feel like a zombie and cant actually walk without leaning on something!! oops!

Maybe from now on I will take one at like 3 in the morning and see if that helps! you never know it may work!

Ive got into the terrible habbit of getting up to check my face and its driving me crazy and is not healthy!!

Skin wise - the scab did come off last night whilst showering even though I was gentle, but today it looks like a red mark so by tomorrow it will deffo be ok.

the zit i popped is just a lumpy nearly scab so that wont heal over til tomoz probably. The lumps that i spoke about are still there not doing much! so right now I have no actives so to speak, just a yucky bump. everything else is healing or under the skin.

Ive also added grape seed extract to my supplements as it is meant o be a powerful antioxident, better than vitc so will take one a day of theat aswel!

I swear to god I should rattle!

Stll at half a finger full but I think this is best for now to deal with the flakeyness.

I have also bought eucerin hydro protect with spf, but it feels really greasy so im testing it at the moment next to my eyes and under my jaw. people seem to sewar by this moisturiser but its so grasy it may have to be a night time one, it was ridiculously expensive too coz boots dont sel it at the mo so had to get it off the internet!

anyhow, back to bed coz i feel very strange from these pills! Im glad nothing new has come up over night, but as we all know very well, alot can change in a few hours!!

will update later on! (oh and for those of u concerned about the sleeping tabs, I only use them when my daughter is at her dads, just in case!!))

xxx

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