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Month 2, 60mg Claravis

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lovethefreeworld

day 65

Things are not good, im giving up hope, its day 65 and I still feel like a monster, can you guys give me some encouragement?

When will this work? When will I look normal?

fuck fuck fuck my life.

lovethefreeworld

Starting Month 3,

Time is going by pretty slow, probably because I am not clear yet. I am still breaking out alot, both cheeks are full of red marks. My skin does not look good at all, but it is definitely better from what I started out with. My entire face is also beat red, it looks like I am wearing red foundation, its a total different color from my neck.

I had my doctors appointment today, she is keeping me on 60mgs this month and said next month I will move up to 80. She told me to stop touching my face because when you are accutane your skin takes alot longer to heal itself and thats why I have so many scabs when they used to go away after two days.

Side effects

-dry lips

-dry eyes

-dry everything (hair, hands, legs)

-cut very easily, have blisters all over my feet from shoes I used to always wear and get none, have scrapes and scabs on my legs and arms from bumping into things, it just rips my skin right off.

-Face is peeling around chin, sides of lips.

-Joint pain

-sleeping alot more than usual

That's it! I've been in a good mood, other then when I see mirrors lol.

COST

$144 DOLLARS FOR a 30 day supply. G.H.I SUCKS FOR ACCUTANE, its the insurance my mom gets for her city job. Doctor visits are $20 and starting next month I have to fly home each month for my appointment totalling another $200 in flights. That's about $400 a month to be on this medicine, so if you think your in deep shit, think again. haha

My doctor also said I should start to see improvement in this month and month 4, I hope she is right about it being this month.. I don't think I will be able to go to college with clear skin like I had hoped, but sooner or later this will start to look up.

I am exhausted I just woke up from a 3 hour nap and I am falling back asleep as I type this

:(

I have two more weeks until school, keep your fingers crossed that things get a little bit better before then. any chance they might guys? :(

xxx :)

lovethefreeworld

Hey I bought F.A.B. moisturizer from Sephora yesterday, its their ultra repair cream, and is bringing my dry skin back to life. Read what it does

FAB Ultra Repair Cream is a thick, rich, emollient product that hydrates deep down with exceptional penetration. With the help of colloidal oatmeal, shea butter, soothing eucalyptus oil and ceramides, FAB Ultra Repair Cream provides immediate relief and visible improvement for distressed skin. Our Antioxidant Booster is there to defend skin from free radical damage.

WHO SHOULD USE IT?

FAB Ultra Repair Cream is for anyone with severely dry, scaly skin due to harsh winter weather, aggressive cosmetic treatments or any of the following conditions: psoriasis, atopic dermatitis, irritant eczema, allergic eczema, seborrheic dermatitis, keratosis pilaris.

Its 28 bucks, but its a big jar and you literally need like a quarter size amount each time if that. I just woke up and my mom says Oh My God you look beautiful. Go get it people, my redness has definitely gone down.

Also, I bought triple antibiotic cream in the pump it has the texture of neosporin, and I have been putting it directly on my pimples if its a white head that needed to be popped. Hope this helps

I just went for my third blood test, I hope the results come back okay, doctors appt is in 2 days. let u guys know how it goes, day 58 and im still breaking out. for those of you who want an idea of when you will be clearing up, its not now lol.

lovethefreeworld

Im breaking out so bad right now its not even cool. My whole right side is under attack. What is going on, shouldn't it be working by now?

My left side is clear except for three small white heads and a million red marks but my right side just keeps breaking out. Can you guys give me some words of encouragement as to when things will start looking up. So sad right now.

I am supposed to get my period this week so maybe this is the case but it's so bad. And are you guys picking or popping your pimples? should i stop? do you think its making things worse by spreading bacteria?

let me know. thanks

ughhh im praying im clear in three weeks when I have to return to college. I will be starting month 3 on friday, I think she said I am going up to 80mg. I gotta keep my hope's up, but its hard.

till next time-

lovethefreeworld

My skin is looking better than it has looked in the past 2 years right now, since I was last on accutane for those 2 months in high school.

I still am breaking out, have a ton of red marks but my face just looks a lot better, I am getting excited to start to feel human again and hoping that soon acne will be the last thing on my mind when I look in the mirror.

yes yes yes yes yes! I hope it continues to get good from here. its a very slow process though, I know my face will look the same it does tonight in the morning, it's like every week I lift my chin up so my face is on an angle and I can see how raised the bumps are under my skin, and now there is none. there used to be over 100. I still have white heads and tons of cuts from them scabbing over but the bumps are gone.

!! :)

lovethefreeworld

pictures

hey if any of you are following me i just put up pictures on message board, type in lovethefreeworld or my 2010 accutane diary and it should come up. You will see what I am working with!

K bye :)

lovethefreeworld

Day 46

I am writing again, I said I'd only update when I got clear but I need to write more. This website is the only thing that keeps me sane, and I am going to go get a journal I am just to embarrassed to leave my house right now.

Things are literally at a stand still, I can't stop popping my pipples, but there not like the cysts, they are actual white heads but they are huge, and they like form on top of eachother like I will have a big one in the middle, and then too little ones right next to that and when I pop them all together it actually looks like someone shot me in the face. This is all very frightening to my perfect skinned family and relatives and when they walk in the house I just need to blurt out something rediculous like "I got shot, you should see the other guy if you think this is bad" I try to make jokes because I dont want them making them behind my back, I know its disgusting I just hope one day I can look at the people around me and have them see my actual face instead of the inhabitants that have been residing there since I was 15.

I read online that if you are stressed it can worsen your acne, I also saw a psychic and the only thing I got out of the money guzzling lying woman was that my stress is worsening my whole situation, I didn't know she pretended to be a doctor along with a psychic but I figured it makes sense. The first 2 weeks on accutane I was so overjoyed to have gotten the medicine my face actually made significant improvement. Now I am back to hiding in my room not going out and things are just staying the same. And this isnt bullshit people I actually googled it and stress can hault healing time and worsen acne. And if you are constantly examining yourself in the mirror from the minute you open your eyes until you go to bed and wont leave your bedroom, you know that cant be healthy.

I can't help this, I am extremely vain, God forbid me but to me looks are everything and appearance is everything and I feel if I look like this I simply cannot be myself. I know that was an awful thing to say, maybe I am shallow, and no I am not close to beautiful, its just acne is like a disease on my face and maybe all the years of obsessing has made me this way to the point where I wont go out until it gets better.

Okay well thats off my chest you all probably think im an insane heartless bitch now haha but im not i promise, i just have had enough of this acne bullshit.

bye for now :)

lovethefreeworld

day 42

Still breaking out, sooo soo dry. Have been in a good mood since the last time I have wrote.

My skin sucksss!!!

I'll write back when I am clear to give you guys an idea of when you should start to clear up too.

My next doctors appointment is August 13th and I'll be starting month three, ha can you believe that means im almost halfway done? I'll stay on this shit forever just get me clear :)

OH! and im going to a psychic tmw night! The best one in new york city il let you guys know what happens! im sooo nervous

lovethefreeworld

WHEN WILL I STOP BREAKING OUT.

had a crying spell yesterday. Started crying for absolutely no reason tears just started streaming down my face, became very anti social, locked myself in my room for 3 hours slept, woke up and was fine. Today I am fine again.

breaking out still its getting worse, probably because my dose went up. I am now on 60 mg.

I just am praying its gone by the time I get back to college which which be at the beginning of month three

I cant stop picking!! ughhhhhh

lovethefreeworld

Month 2

Hey.

My blood work came back fine and my dosage has been moved up from 40mg to 60mg, had to switch from amnesteem to claravis in order to get the 60mg. It cost $144 for this months prescription, insurance covered about $550 of it. Some expensive shit we are dealing with here eh?

I have an infection in my eye, don't know what its caused from. But it hurts! Nervous to go up in dosage because my side effects are already pretty bad. Regretting all those drugs I took in college right about now. haha.

Still getting pimples, pores are huge.

Ttyl biddies

lovethefreeworld

Day 27

Heyy I took my second blood test today to start month 2.. which I will be starting on Friday :cry:

My face is still breaking out, got some pimples on both cheeks now, I am getting my period within the next 3 days so maybe thats the source of why things were going good and now they are bad again. Still, things are not as bad as before I went on the treatment. Oh and my face is BEAT RED! :pray:

I am in a good mood today, yesterday I was miserable for no reason again but today I am feeling good. My body is really dry as well as my face. But I havent washed my hair in four days and it looks great. I got over the feeling dirty part, but thats probably because I havent really left my house for my hair to get dirty.

Right now I have the Borghese Fango mud mask on my face right now, it helps unclog your pores and moisturizes your skin, I use it once a week, it makes your skin feel soft when you take it off but it was like 60 dollars so I'm sure you can find one thats cheaper and does the same thing.

I can't wait to be cleared up. Good luck to all of you on accutane, and those waiting to start it, hang in there. And for those of you who aren't on accutane and feel like nothing is working, try it out, it might change your life or atleast make your life a little easier. They say accutane is the closest thing to a cure for acne. Nothing else has long term and powerful effects as this medicine does. I know its scary, I am worried that I am going to have serious health problems later in life from it but what can I do? I honestly think this will change my life because it could change who I marry yanno? I hardly even talk to guys anymore and this should hopefully give me some confidence to put myself out there and find whose best for me. ( I know the pain of waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror and trying to cover up your face and then just ending up crying because you feel like makeup makes it look worse and then ending up washing everything off and crawling back in bed and not leaving your house all day, believe me I been there, thats been the story of my life the past 2 years and I ended up missing my college classes because I was crying too hard to go.) So anyway I am hoping next semester I can put all that effort I once put into my acne into my school work and have one less thing to worry about and hopefully do that much better in college.

I think I just rambled, sorry if that didnt make any sense.

:surprised: I'll pray for you guys

-t.

lovethefreeworld

DAY 23

Hey.

Week 3 (day 23)

Okay so my forehead has been clear for 2 weeks now, completely clear, my left cheek is also completely clear and then there's my right cheek..

The entire cheek area starting from my upper lip down looks like I got shot, I NEED to stop picking at it but I have these painful large white head filled lumps that keep coming. Theres about seven of them, they hurt so bad and they are the kind that if you pop them they shoot and hit the mirror, you all know exactly what I am talking about lol. Ever since I went on accutane, it really hurts to pop my pimples, like I cringe in pain for 5 seconds after popping because my face hurts so bad.

As for emotional side effects, I wont lie, I definitely feel them some days. For instance on tuesday I slept from 12AM to 2PM the next day, (woke up at 8am and took my pill with breakfast and fell back asleep until 2pm) which is really odd for me, I usually wake up at 10 the latest. Then after I woke up at 2, I physically couldn't get out of bed. My body felt heavy and I felt like I had no energy to stand up and I was just staring at my walls. This happens atleast once a week now ever since I have been on this medicine. It wasn't me being lazy, I hate wasting the day, once again I felt like I just couldn't move physically and emotionally. I got out of bed at 8 o'clock that night to eat dinner and take my pill, then finally went to my friends house. Has anyone else felt this?

Other than that, dry lips, dry hands, dry hair! swollen gums, small headache if I don't drink enough water. And thats it. I have a derm appt. next wednesday to refill my prescription. It will have been a month already! I hope the next couple months go by as quickly as this one did.

Hope all is well everybody and you are enjoying your summer

lovethefreeworld

I have something important to update!

For the first time in my life I have cysts?! My two cheeks are not symmetrical when I look in the mirror my entire jaw line and cheek line pushes out on my right side of my face because it is filled with cysts. SO WEIRD.

The majority of my face is clear, expect for 5 Pea sized cysts under my skin that are killing me and a couple of small bumps on the lower half of my face. My whole right side of my face feels swollen when I touch it.

I also find my self peeling off dead skin over old pimples and then end up bleeding with a scab. Should I stop peeling off the dead skin? Will it make them heal quicker?

Bye guys

lovethefreeworld

Day 14

Hi everyone.

Okay so lets see,

its week two

and my lips are on fire, as well as the areas around my lips, I left the house without my aquafor today and was in massive pain. Since aquafor isn't that cheap I bought a huge tube of vaseline and leave it in my bathroom and smother it on my lips when I leave the shower. It's feels amazing.

My skin is also beat red. My forehead is completely clear, I still have about 8 active white heads around my chin and lower cheek area, and thats it. My pores are still big, my chin is flaking badly, and I think I just need to sit home for a little and relax, because I have been wearing make up every day and it's definitely not speeding up the healing process.

I have developed dandruff! It's so hard not to wash my hair every day and I can literally see it dying and drying up before my eyes. It just itches if I don't wash it and I feel so dirty but the more I wash it the more its itchy because it's making it even dryer and I have white flakes in my scalp! Ugh this sucks. Did anyone else get a dry scalp?

Okay guys hope all is well!

lovethefreeworld

Day 7

I decided I am going to blog every week from now on, because it's hard to read daily blogs of a treatment that lasts for 6 months.

Week 1!!

-Hands are dry, feel funny.

-Skin isn't as oily. Some dry patches around my chin and in nose creases.

-Lips still aren't that dry, but I apply chap-stick every hour anyway.

- Am not freaking out so much about washing my face every 5 hours

- Pimples are still there, no new ones forming. The pimples I have are only distinct pimples, instead of the distinct pimples + million little bumps under my skin that I usually have. The little bumps are GONE.

-Scalp is itchy, hurts when I scratch it

- small headache if I don't drink enough water during the day, goes away if I drink some water

REGARDING THE SUN AND THE BEACH!

I went to the beach yesterday, wore SPF 45, then put on foundation with SPF 15, sat under an umbrella, and only went in the ocean for 10 minutes, and still turned red, which I was trying so hard to prevent. Later that night my ear lobes were dry and itchy, as well as my chin and hands. I will avoid going in the ocean next time.

Products I am using

- Just bought Clinique Redness Solutions Face Wash and Redness Corrector makeup primer today, I plan on using it in the mornings.

- In the evenings I use one of the three

*Thoroughly Clean Face Wash from The Body Shop,

* Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser

* Dove Beauty Bar 1/4 Moisture Soap

- Cetaphil Moisturizer, plan on buying Clinque's Redness Solution's Moisturizer if the other two products work.

- Aquafor on my lips in the day

- Neosporin Overnight renewal therapy before bed

I'll check back in next week

t.m.

xxxxx

:pray:

lovethefreeworld

Hii!

Just took my first pill, I got amnesteen, it cost $110 dollars after my insurance, apparently its $799 without insurance!

I included almonds and olive oil in my lunch to help dissolve the medicine. Well obviously there's no side effects yet, I'm just drinking alot of water and plan on drinking at least 8 glasses a day.

I stacked up on neosporin lip balm (night and day), the day one contains 20 spf and the night locks in moisture while you sleep. I'll let you know if it works once my lips start to dry up.

Okay well I'm soooo sooo happyyy and relieved that i got my medicine today!

I'll keep you guys updated. For those of you still waiting to start, I know it sucks i waited 40 days, and this feeling is so worth it, so keep on waiting

lovethefreeworld

Hi Everyone.

I am new to this website. I have been dealing with acne since I am 13, I am now 20 and it worse than ever. I have small pimples on my forehead and chin. My cheeks is where I have it the worst and its all red and irritated and hasn't been clear in years.

I have an italian/irish skin tone, somewhere in between freckles and a tanned skin, and when you look at my face all you see is red and acne. I hardly leave my house because I am so embarrassed and don't want to see anyone. It seems everyone around me has clear skin at the age of 20.

I have been on accutane before, but never finished because my face cleared up immediately. I really had very little side effects, but I was extremely dry! i had to put Vaseline on and all over my lip area

I will be starting my next course sometime this month, (finishing it this time!) and I literally am itching to start. Il be starting birth control this week for the treatment. Acne is taking over my life. I have very low self esteem and I feel I have the worst luck in the whole world so I am hoping nothing goes wrong this time, and my acne clears up. I'm literally wasting my life away in an acne caused depression

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