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24 years old & finally taking the plunge

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SiennaGrace

Day 41

Wow I can't believe I'm in my 2nd month already! YAYAYAYAY! So basically I broke out before my period AGAIN! Ya know,.... BC really does nothing for my skin, actually I get cysts on my chin that I have NEVER had before! I really want to get off of it! Me and my boyfriend are waiting until marriage anyways.

Right now my skin feels pretty smooth, but doesnt look so Hot! The right side is broken out a bit with a big cysyt and a couple small ones, and the left side has a big cyst by my nose that wont go away. My skin has dried up ALOT! I love it though. I had such oily skin that this is an amazing discovery, its really too good to be true. I can wear makeup all day long and not breakout. Its amazing!

My arms are itchy now and my eyes have dried up. My face doesnt really itch though anymore!

The Doc also bumped my dose to 60mg in my 2nd month.... keep it coming doc!!!!

regimen:

morning-

gentle cleanser in the morning

oil free moisterizer all over face

thicker lotion around mouth area

40mg accutane

night-

cetaphil anti-bacterial bar soap and wash cloth(gentely)

oil-free moisterizer

20mg accutane

SiennaGrace

Day 20

Side effects:

*itchy head and skin

*dry lips(but if i keep aquaphor on hand they dont get bad)

*dry skin!!!!!! seriously I didnt blot my face once today!!!!

*breakout, just a few cysts, nothing Im not use to. the small zits go away fast though!

*the texture is tight and smooth in certain parts of my face

*feel fine other than pooping in the morning hurts(YES I said it!!!) I think accutane drys EVERYTHING out even my pooos! So its caused hemorroids! I feel like an old man or something!

*Still not clear, but Im really getting excited now! Im still praying though that this is the cusp of my IB and it will soon come to an end!

* I get these cysts around my mouth and they crack throughout the day from eating or talking, its really annoying, and kissing my boyfriend doesnt make it anybetter, which totally sucks... hope this doesnt last the whole time

* get irritated and sensitive, but nothin too major, I just notice a little change(may be my BC)

Im kind scared what 60mg will bring eeeeeeeeekkkkk!!!!!!

Anyone else out there experianceing some of these things??? the hemorrhoids??? its sooooo weird!!!! I need to drown myself with water from now on!!!

SiennaGrace

day 13

OMGsh I am so itchy!! I will be sitting in class and one lil hair will sweep by my cheek and I'll feel like I have to itch my whole face! My scalp too... I feel like I have lice or something. Its so weird

So The vitamin guy at the health food store by my house was showing me elderberry(fight colds) and I asked him "will this interfere with accutane". He nearly went white in the face :shhh: ! he told me no it wont interfer but that I shouldnt be taking accutane. He said "its drys out your liver and organs and in 10years you might have serious issues. I didnt even wana listen and he got the hint. But kept his eye on me while i was walking around the store!

"Ya know what!!! He has no idea what severe acne is like. I am well aware of the side effects and I dont want to second guess this anymore, Im on it know, too bad" It wasnt his fault, but I noticed how i imediatly put a wall up :shhh: with him and wanted to plug my ears :cry: ! I wont even read the bad accutane posts. I just wana stay positive.... I think thats the bast thing I can do.. and pray and know that God will see me through!

Anyways... My skin is... broken out, not much worse than before, but just more red and the cysts wont go away, but the little pimples dry up so fast!

I am washing with dove and an oil free moisterizer! seems to do well for now!

Happy Saint Patties Day everyone! Headn to the beach wooohooo. Okay off to get ready for the fun and cover this mess on my face

xoxo God Bless

SiennaGrace

Day 10

Okay..... So my skin is starting to get really dry! An Im super itchy on my face at night. my lips r dry but really smooth from so much aquaphor! My face just looks red this morning!and that huge zit forming on my chin has now turned into just one normal size zit! so weird! The pimples i do get go away pretty fast after the gunk comes out. I can tell I will have alot of scars. I just hope my spot application of makeup will still work for me. Im going to church and then to the beach to play volleyball! Im gunna experiement with sunscreen and a little make-up, hopefully that wont be the fuel for my IB.

I feel okay though in general! Little overwelmed that all my boyfriends friends and family are coming into town for march madness though! and im looking like a tomato head! Kinda embaressing! And its not like I am going to tell anyone whats going on! I like to pretend its not really there i guess, haha! I dont know how much longer I will be able to do that though if my skin keeps looking worse.

Alright so experimenting with sun today!! eeeeeek! I think i'll take a hat just incase. The Cowboys will have to protect my face :D

Happy sunday to everyone! Its the best day of the week in my book. Especially when we have such perfect beach weather today! Thankyou Lord! :D

SiennaGrace

day 8

I think i got ahead of myself!! my skin is starting to breakout now!

I have a huge, seriously huge, zit on my chin. its like three in one. And three cysts coming up on my cheek. A previous zit that was healing just all of a sudden got big again. I hate this!My stomach hurt this morning! I dont feel like myself. I get upset easily. Just kinda Blah! I dont wana say depressed, cuz that isnt the issue, the name for this feeling is just Blah! Im sitting here holding ice to my face.... wtfudge! seriously! enough with this already!

There is so much important stuff going on this month, this is going to be horrible!!!! I dont wana be seen in public

Ive still been poping my whiteheads.... is that bad?

I just wana curl up in a ball until 5months from now.

Someone give me some positive feeback please!

Is anyone else on day 7 or around there?

Thanks :D

SiennaGrace

Day 6

OKay sooooo IM excited I got some new products for my accutane skin!

Skin Resource MD- Facial Cleansing Gel SF

Skin Resource MD- Oil Free Hydrating Fluid

Both, in ginger's words, "they will baby your skin while on accutane", yes! her name was ginger!

ANd then I got Jane irrdel pressed mineral powder! I loved the coverage, and I have bad scars too. I guess this pwder is enough to use as sunscreen in its self.

Anyways for side effects..... dun dun dun... : I really dont feel like I have had any yet!

The biggest thing is that my back hurts more than usual. It cracks alot, and I have to stretch alot through out the day! My skin isnt breakingout more than usual, I feel like it has gotten smoother. But I have noticed that where I have had cysts under my skin forever that they are starting to hurt. So maybe stuff is starting to surface. Eeeeeek, Im so scared of that. But I guess if my skins already bad whats a few more zits, right?

Ginger also said that alot of accutane users continue using their acne products until they start seeing the effects. I guess this makes your IB worse or causes it! She said to use the gentlest products, cleanser and moisterizer, thats it!

So im stickn to it!

I also have had alot of energy. I have been more motivated to climb the mountain by my house latly. I think maybe because I know the damage that is being done to my body from accutane and I want to keep my liver and body as healthy as possible.

Well thats all for now. Please Lord keep me on the road to normal skin. :D Amen

SiennaGrace

Day 3

so the only thing new to share is that My back has been achey and cracks alot!

Washing with Dove sensitive skin bar, and used a thin layer of cetaphil lotion last night

I only cover up spots with make-up because i dont wana make it worse, I use clinique skin clearing foundation.

I take 20mg in the morning and 10 at night! Always making sure that I have a full stomach!

and thats all for now :D

SiennaGrace

Day 1 and Intro

Hey all!

A little about my story! I will keep it short and to the point!

I started with your typical highschool hormonal acne, little pimples when I was a Sophmore! I couldnt stand it! I spent every penny I ever earned trying products at my local cvs. Nothing seemed to really work. Then after begging for antibiotics from my doc at the time, he finally handed me the prescription, but not without telling me I am ungrateful, that there are kids out there dealing with cancer and Im complaining about acne! Ya... I know real thoughtful! not to get on a tangent but anyone who thinks acne isnt a big deal and to get over it, is absolutly clueless. I look at it as a disease, a horible health concern that disfigures your face and ruins your self esteem. it makes everything in life more difficult, especially being a girl!!! okay im done!! haha

So i took antibiotics for 3years as well as trying tazorac(which I loved,but didnt work long term), antibiotics kept me clear! I had great skin! I wanted to get off them and "Oh boy" big mistake. I began with horribly oily skin all of a sudden and then a big red cyst on my cheek one day! Terrified... I turned to natural medicine! Western medicine seemed to only cause me more issues!

I took every herbal remedy under the sun and thoguht I had my body down to a science, like I knew why everything worked the way it did. It was scary how obsessive I became over controling my body to limit my acne! It never really worked and only stressed me out and caused depression. Lost and broken. It all seemed useless! I got myself off natural medicine, but took a year to convince myself I didnt need it, to let my body do what it was "naturaly" made to do! About a year ago I turned to Birth control pills(ortho cyclen, not ortho tri-cyclin) and have been taking that for about a year, with no results, I feel its only gotten worse, now i get all these little bumps around my mouth and big cysts on my chin, which i never had before. Fed up and back on health insurance I decided to give accutane a try, something I never believed in and somehting that alwasy scared me.

I really cant believe I am finally at this point. I have soooo many scars from 8years dealing with acne. My face no longer heals itself and it was time to do somehting about it! Im tired of oily skin that I have to blot 5x a day and tired of being tired of thinking about my face! I mean really ... its our face! the first thing people look at, your first impression. How is anyone suppose to come across confident when you can barely look in the mirror and smile. I had to teach myself how to be strong, bullet proof. I look in the mirror a couple times before i leave the house and give myself a little pep talk, and tell myself by the end of it that "your face is not that bad, no one prob even notices and if they do they prob wont care, its about who you are not what you are". Its a long painful exhausting process that I am soooooo sick of.

I have given my fears about accutane to God, andtrust that he will protect and see me through this process! I dont know if this is what he wants for me, but I know he dosent want to see me suffer anymore. I feel I have learned so much about myself through having acne. Number one, is that every girl wants to feel beautiful, and thats not a bad thing. To enjoy her natural God given beauty. Im not talking cake a pound of makeup on yourface and red lipstick. And second I have learned what is really important in life... that is basically this earth and all the beauty that surrounds us, the ocean, wild flowers, a rising sun in the mountains... and at the end of these 5months with good skin or bad I will still see the beauty!

So I hope through these 5months writing this blog that it becomes helpful to you. And maybe you can relate or find comfort in it.

one day down sooooooo many more to go.

*************************************************xoxo***************************

day 1 at 30mg

Side Effects: None so far

regimine: Dove sensitive skin bar for cleansing with wash cloth.

my skin gets so oily during the day that I am wearing my sulfur mask right now. I figure since my skin is still oily and its only the first day, what the hay!!! should be okay!!

:D

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