Okie dokie well here i am, the day after my December 22nd challenge.. and i must say im pretty happy with where my skins at right now. It was *decent enough* for my hair appt yesterday, and i found something while shopping yesterday that i think will hit it home. Its a retinol cream i found at winners, i used it last night and already could see an improvement this morning. Will keep using! My picking has been pretty under control since theres not much to pick at right now. However, I did have an under the skin golfball on my forhead for a few days. Like, i dont know what it was. It was like, not cystic, not a pimple, just my forehead swelled up LOL. I would put asprin mask on it and ice it and take an aspirin and eventually it went down. Merp.
About this blog
Started as an Accutane journal, now its mainly my skin picking journal!
Entries in this blog
Ugh!!!!!! Failed yet again!!!! Picked since my last entry. Like, a full on picking spree last night. Just right out of control. Fell into that trance and just could not stop. I was picking spots multiple times over, even after i knew i had gotten everything possible out, even if i knew there was NOTHING in there in the first place, just hoping something would come up. I just couldn't get out of the trance so kept going over and over the same spots for absolutely no reason. Felt like complete shit afterwards. I cannot even describe the feeling that i get after i have come out of the trance. Its like i have let myself down SO MUCH, i cant even believe that i would do that to myself . I just feel totally doomed because im doing it to myself, no matter how hard i try not to. Then there's the feeling when you wake up the next morning, and remember what you did last night, and know that when you go to the bathroom and look in the mirror you are going to look a fucking mess. BUT its a miracle because right now almost 24 hrs later its almost like the picking spree never happened, with the added bonus of some things i picked being better than before (flatter). Anyhoo, in my desperate searching for some way to get my picking under control i found a YouTube video of hypnosis for skin picking. Its the first one that comes up when you google skin picking hypnosis videos, some English (i think) guy with red hair. Let me tell you!!! I listened to the session the night before last and WOW. I want to say it really works, but i did have that picking spree the very next night HOWEVER i felt amazing and like something had changed in me right up to that point. I actually listened to an OCD one first before i found one specific to skin picking. But like, i was so deeply relaxed, and actually started crying during it because it felt very freeing. Like it was breaking me free from the obsession to pick. Then i found the skin picking one, and im not even kidding, the next morning i had NO urge to pick, felt so in control, was convinced i would never pick again. Then i got too close to the mirror that night and the urge was too strong i couldn't pull away. I am going to listen again tonight and every night until it takes full effect! I'm telling you i am a believer. Anyways, ok the Dec, 22nd challenge. Today is the first. I have gotten a miraculous fresh start from last nights spree, so as of today, the 1st, i am going to do everything in my power to not pick, seeing how much my skin will heal by Dec. 22. THE 22ND, because i have a hair appointment that day. Yes, and we all know how uncomfortable that can be with bad skin. The lighting, the up close and personal with your sylist, the big mirror, staring at yourself literally for hours on end. The getting your hair washed and water splashed on your face, and the nakedness of sitting in the chair with wet hair up. NO, i need acceptable skin for that kind of ordeal. PLUS, to get a head start on NO-PICK 2018 amirite?! So, that's about all for now. Failure, hope in hypnosis, and Dec 22.
PS - Totally meant to mention earlier that i have not been using face wash for like, ever. I've used one small container of Lush face wash since July. And it ran out like a month or two ago and I just couldn't be arsed to buy more because the Lush in my town closed, and the nearest is 2 hrs away LOL so i just haven't been "washing" my face, just rinsing with water and i must say there's no difference anymore. Maybe beacsue ive been off the face wash for so long my face is just used to it. Anyways, just though i'd log that as well!
Well its been what, 5 days now and guess what - ive picked. Of course. Havent had a "picking spree" but will admit that I have picked. Yep. Failed yet again. Should have known. Honestly though, I did try. So here I am, starting over again with the no picking thing. Lets just try for a week. Lets see if i can go until Friday night without picking. Ugh its so hard though. So easy to think to yourself, "ok, no picking this week" so easy to give yourself false hope, yet so hard to actually do it in real life. Its not easy to be fighting yourself. On one hand theres the part of me thats like "just go ahead, its one little spot just handle it and it will go away. Youre making it better, just do it, its not a big deal." Then the other side is like "Dont do it!!!! Stop! Pleaseee dont." And here i am caught in the middle. So, i picked a little tonight. Just some usual daily maintenance (if you can call it that). As of tomorrow morning, i am doing an experiment. One week (not even a full week, just a work week!). Lets see if i can outsmart myself. On another note, just tried using aspirin on the face and i must say it does work, for basic, easy little spots. Flattens em right out. Takes away all the swelling. So thats one good thing!
Well its been a whole day since this mornings' promise of quitting. While i did not pick, persay, i must admit that i did, as i usually do, "scan" my face in the car driving home from work. I always do this, once i hit the road on the way home and im alone in the car, i mindlessly start feeling my skin for anything dry or flaky i can easily get off without looking. And i did it today.. does that count or no? I figure no. Now i still have to go into the bathroom and clean up for bed tonight so hopefully nothing goes down. I think picking is truly an addiction. Seriously, why cant i just go into a bathroom and quickly look in the mirror without leaning up close to the mirror and looking at my face pore by pore searching for anything to squeeze out. I literally, on purpose, look for things i can "get out". Its insane. I dont want to do it but i legit cannot stop. Trying though, tonight will be different. Just wash and go to bed. It should be hard.......yeah right LOL. Here we go.....
OK. As i am writing this it is the morning after a big pick, after I was on a pretty good roll with nice skin. Yep, I played myself again. It started how it always does, went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Was going to remove one tiny flake off of a healed spot, very meticulously and controlled..... and BAM !!!!! 30 mins later my whole face has been extracted and is beet red. My favorite cream has mitigated some of the damages, its not the worst its ever been by any means but like come onnnnn WHY did i have to do that. Now im back at square one again. SO, like pretty much EVERY time this happens, i have decided that i am DONE PICKING. *laughs to myself* ahh how many hundred of times, year after year, have I said the same thing over and over and i always fail. Every single time. BUT this time i am starting this journal here for myself. Every day i am going to write how it goes with the picking. And if i pick, im going to admit it. (hopefully i fucking DONT though lol). Sure sure, this journal thing works i tell myself. Even though ive tried it last year when no picking was my 2017 new years resolution and i kept a hand written journal. That didnt work AT ALL. Had no effect whatsoever. Maybe if its on the internet it will be different? Anyways, here it is: TODAY, TUESDAY NOVEMBER 21, 2017, 6:38 AM, FROM HERE UNTIL THE END OF TIME (LOL) I WILL NOT PICK MY SKIN EVER AGAIN. EVER. EVEN IF SOMEONE HAS A GUN TO MY HEAD AND TELLS ME TO (OK MAYBE THEN, AND ONLY THEN LOL) BUT SERIOUSLY. IM DONE. COLD TURKEY. DONE!!!! Its probably going to be the hardest thing ive ever done (well, i know it is.. ive been trying to quit for like 10 years now, ha). But im fucking dead ass serious this time. No looking in the mirror for no reason. NO touching my face except in the morning to put on makeup. No picking before i get in the shower, just GET IN and dont even look in mirror just hurry. I will stop and my skin will heal and be so happy with me. OK, there we go. DONE DONE DONE. NO MORE PICKING YOU FUCKING IDIOT STOP FUCKIN UR OWN FACE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welp...Went to the doctor today about a rash i have had on my face for about 6 months now. Turns out i have what is called Perioral dermatitis. I have had this going on since February and was sooo fed up with it, i tried everything to get rid of it including:
-tea tree oil
-anti fungal cream
-BP and SA
NONE of these things really helped at all so i finally broke down and went to the doctor. So yes, now i have yet another skin condition to deal with. Just when i thought i had seen it all! He prescribed me to take doxycycline (i think thats what its called) for 12 weeks. Yes people, 12 weeks! AND a topical steroid cream with something else in it ,i forget what. So thats great... i guess since i have let it go on for so long it is going to take a while for it to go away. I do have a milder case but it is still soo annoying because unlike acne spots, putting makeup over the dermatitis does not help whatsoever since its so dry and flaky and bumpy. Also after it took my first antibiotic pill today i felt sick. UGHHH. When are my skin problems going to be over!! I guess instead of posting about acne and accutane like i used to i will post about perioral dermatitis and antibiotics and weird creams lol. The weird thing is that in my googling pretty much every website says topical steroid creams make it worse and can cause it in the first place and DO NOT use them but thats exactly what i was prescribed. Either way i am ready to try anything!
So that potential cyst i thought i had went away...then a while later(now) sprouted a nice little whitehead. I tried to resist it for days because last time i picked a pimple like that it turned into a huge cyst the size of a golfball (not really) on my cheek and it took accutane and 7 months to drain/get rid of. BUT i had to i just had to! Just a few hours ago i every so gently squeezed it just on the surface i didnt push down into the skin because if there is a cyst under there i dont want to push it in deeper and bruise my cheek again and cause myself 7 more months of cyst-cheek. So anyways the tiniest bit of puss came out and now its just really hard and red and swollen im super worried and i hope it goes down like stuff usually does overnight but like seriously what if i just fucked myself over and history is repeating itself i mean do i never learn?! really this is bad. bad i tell you.
****Really hope i don't jinx myself with this**** lol
ya so i think the cyst that i saw forming is gone now or has gone back down into my skin?? I dont know whats going on but i have not touched the area AT ALL since i noticed it coming up (other than to put makeup on and im realllyyy gentle) and i even was soo paranoid that i have only slept on my left side for the past like 3 nights because i dont want to sleep on my right cheek and risk irritating the cyst area, and i feel like it lets it drain back down into my skin or something lol.....so my neck really hurts from sleeping the same way all night lol. ALSO i went skiing today and i thought for sure my goggles rubbing against my cheek would cause it to come up but nope, totally flat still and no outline there anymore so yay?? still gonna be really careful for a while tho. I also think maybe my cheek was a little inflamed because i used bp on it the night before it came up and bp sometimes gives me a rash and swells my skin so maybe that caused it too i donno either way im glad im getting a second chance here to be extra careful with it.
WORST DAY EVER
i woke up this morning with what i'm sure is ANOTHER fucking cyst under my cheek. this cannot be real life omg. After getting rid of the two golf balls i had growing in my cheeks while on accutane i never thought it would happen again.
this is literally the worst thing i could ever imagine, i cannot go through that again omg.
i dont know if i should call my doc and ask for accutane right away and then wait for them to surface and explode again which will take like 5 months or should i do something different like get it removed ugh wtf life is so unfair what did i do to deserve this like seriously what the actual fuck is wrong with my skin.
i feel like im in some fucked up nightmare
My skin has been really good lately. Like...basically the day after i went to see the doc it started getting really good.. ya i still have little stuff here and there but i usually bring it upon myself by picking at nothing. Right now the whole forehead is clear, same with the whole right side of my face. The left has about 3 little things near the bottom of my cheek but i'm not complaining. Now that ive posted this im sure i will wake up tomorrow with bad skin lol hope not tho.
Also, a couple days ago i went the first day of my life (well my life since i was about 13) without moisturizing after i washed my face. Although it was not intentional. I was getting ready for an 8am class, and i wasnt fully awake i guess, and i was in a rush. Right after i washed my face i totally forgot to put on moisturizer and i started putting my makeup on then i realized i forgot to moisturize but it as too late, i didnt have the time to start over. I went the whole day and my face didnt feel dry or anything it felt normal... i thought it would get reallyy oily to make up for the lack of lotion but it didnt... very strange. Still, im not going to stop using moisturizer but it was an experience lol.
thats all for now!
ps- i have found a great cleanser that i have really been enjoying. Its aveeno clear complexion daily cream scrub (i think thats what its called) i never like scrubs but this ones not harsh and i like it!
just got back from the docs office. basically she looked at my skin and was like "ohhh its not that bad, i dont see anything just freckles.." and im like thinking in my head OMG U dumb bitch CLEARLY i have acne and do NOT look normal why are saying its fine???? Like if SHE had on her face what i have on mine shed probably freak out. So basically then she asked me why i said i didnt wanna go an accutane again and i told her id rather not be on it during school because i would not be able to go to school every day with crusty accutane skin...not that she was gonna give it to me anyway.... i ended up getting steivamycin gel or watever which i HAVE HAD BEFORE!! she asked me if i had it before and i said it sounded familiar but she apparently checked my file and i didnt have it before so she gave it to me...and when i got home i checked my med history sheet i have from the drugstore and YES I HAVE BEEN ON IT BEFORE 4 YEARS AGO obviously it didnt work, most topicals dont theyre just a huge waste of time. Im not even filling the stupid prescription. Like but what do i do now?? Ya so my skin HAPPENED to be on a "good" day when i went to see my doc, but tomorrow its probably gonna be terrible again and here i am stuck with NO MEDS to fix it FML. i literally dont even know what to do anymore. nobody gets it. Ya so my face isnt totally COVERED in acne but that doesnt mean i look normal in any way, or that i dont have to get up super early every day and spend 30 mins covering my disgusting skin... maybe ill just cut my face off, it would probably be an improvement. ALSO my dad looked at my skin and hes like OMG whats the problem.. like as if i had the skin of an angel...so i specifically pointed out every last little spot i have to him and hes like OHHH nobody even cares you cant even notice..like as if im hallucinating this shit and the way i feel about my skin is totally irrational and unjustified. seriously i dont even care i just want accutane again but im afraid my doc wont give it to me again now. The next time i go see her im gonna pick my skin SO MUCH the night before to make sure its all red and nasty when i go see her so i can get my motherfucking accutane and try the cycle again and hopefully be done with acne....UGH life is so unfair and the world hates me fuck.
So my skin is at the point again now where i must do something about it because i cannot put up with it anymore. I know its bad when i cant go to class in the morning without doing a full makeup routine, starting with me getting up earlier in the morning. This is how i know something is wrong lol but seriously i called my docs office last week...
Basically my options are:
A) accutane again (would really rather not...)
B) ask/ talk my doc into giving me biaxin for my acne (what i want)
C) she'll give me some sort of stupid "cycline" acne antibiotic which probably wont work
I asked to go back on accutane about a year ago and my doc said no, try some creams first and if they don't work then call back and she'll refill my accutane script... But since then i have changed my mind and want to go on biaxin ( an antibiotic i took while i had penumonia in the summer which worked WONDERS on my skin).
So last week i call her office and i explain to her secretary that she would refill my accutane, but i would like to try biaxin first, and without even asking my doc the secretary rudely tells me that NO WAY biaxin is not given for acne (which it actually IS, according to many sites online it treats skin bacteria/infections/ ect... aka including acne) and she more or less hung up on me..so thats great...
So i need to call back and actually talk to my DOCTOR or make an appointment and ask her myself if i can go on biaxin, but if she really does say no ( which i doubt she wouldn't at least let me try it for a week) I will need to go back on accutane...ughhhhhhh
Dont get me wrong, by the end of my first course i was literally deeply in love with accutane and wanted to stay on if for ever and ever lol but i really dont feel like going through the process again from the beginning... getting really bad dry peeling nasty skin and a bad IB, ESPECIALLY while still in school. If it was summer it would be different.... ughhhhhh the life of a poor girl cursed with acne is never easy....
Sooo right now my skin the worst its been since accutane.
Its so frustrating and confusing. I think it might have a bit to do with stress because the past few weeks i have had so much school work to do but i donno. Its to the point where at times im literally ready to call my doc and beg for accutane again. But them i think maybe antibiotics would help me, because when i got my wisdom teeth out last month, i was on penicillin for a week and my skin went from bad to great! So i think maybe i should try anti's but you cant stay on them forever and once i stopped my skin got bad again right away, at least with tane it stays good for a few months if not forever, if ur lucky.
Anyways its at the point where i dont see it passing or getting better without some interference. Also now i am getting acne on my chest and back which sucks more than on my face maybe because i cant wear any of my shirts!! I need to go shopping for shirts that cover my entire chest up to my neck wtfffff. And with summer coming up this is just not acceptable...accutane may be the only way to go im afraid. im heavily considering calling my doc on monday. she did say that if i tried differin and it didnt work she'd renew my script for clarus so im sure i wont have to pull any teeth to get it lol.
UGH. why am i cursed with this terrible skin.
My dad had bad acne and sometimes i feel so pissed that he even had kids, knowing the acne would probably pass to them (me).
Honestly i think it would be evil for me to have a kid and knowingly give another innocent person this disgusting disease to suffer with.
Yesterday i started wearing liquid foundation again, which i havent had to do since like....before accutane. That really was a red flag for me that things are not ok. It takes me right back to the days of spending soo much time in the morning trying to make myself look normal with layers of makeup on. And then looking at myself at the end of the day with makeup all nasty on my face...definently dont wanna go back there...
So i am pretty sure next week im going on tane again. i cant even deal with acne now that i have had a taste of perfect skin anything less is unacceptable and fucks with my mind big time. Anyhooo thats it for now.
So in one month and 3 days (Feb.20) it will be one year since i stopped accutane. I am getting slightly concerned about the state of my skin. Since stopping accutane it has been gradually getting worse... and it is now to the point where it is bothering me again. I currently have like 3 flat, red spots on my left cheek, one being a nasty scab/wound thing. Also on my upper forehead i have been getting small breakouts (not noticeable really but still there). Not to mention my oil is basically back to pre accutane levels....UGHH. I honestly thought accutane really worked for me and i would never have a acne problem again!
So...im considering going back for a second course, i called my doctor 4 months ago and asked about getting back on it, she said to try using the differin my derm gave me and if after a month it doesn't help she'll put me back on accutane. Well, i've been trying the differin for like 4 months now and it doesn't really do anything. I really want to take accutane again because it was such an amazing experience, not having a care in the world when it came to my skin...but i am very very scared of hair loss as well as hurting my eyesight. I have found that since i took accutane, my hair is a lot thinner, especially near my front hairline which i am extremely afraid that going back on it will make me totally bald! Also, i used to have perfect vision, however now i find things blurry at times, like when i sit at the back in class, the words on the board look blurry. This scares me a lot.
So im kind of in a pickle, i have some big decisions to make. Should i just put up with my skin and hope it doesn't get any worse? Or should i go back on accutane and risk thinning my hair more and ruining my eyesight for clear skin?? I really dont know what to do.
I am wondering if after a second course, would my acne finally be gone for good? I hear that some people need 2 courses to finally get rid of their acne. I would go for it in a heartbeat but i really like my hair..and my vision..lol
what to do????????
I have not eaten sugar or junk food for a whole day now lol, I'm slowly getting back on track!
so ive been off accutane for a long time (4 months-ish) now, and my skin is oily again but not as bad, no breakouts (only the odd tiny tinyy whitehead now and then). anyways, i have realized there is a downside to not having acne!!! when i had acne, sugar/junk food was the devil, and even looking at choc/cake/anything with sugar in it made me break out, but now that ive taken accutane, i can eat 10 choc bars and 2 cakes and probably not get a single pimple. after years of avoiding sugar at all costs, i am now going WILD eating anything and everything i want, mostly chocolate, and i think im getting fat! now that there is no skin consequences to eating sugar, i cant stop mself!!im ruining my usually very healthy and strict diet. it sucks, i have never had food issues before but i swear im becoming addicted to food. im gonna try and eat my old way this week and see if i can do it. anyways also i used to pick a lot,and now that theres nothing to pick at on my face, i think ive shifted my ocd to my scalp..i cant stop running my fingers across my scalp, feeling for any little speck of dandruff/whatever, its really weird. anyways i just wanted to post something
yesterday was exactly one month since i have been off accutane. it really doesnt feel like that long. i have some bad news. the oil is coming back. yep. no acne or anything though. i was hoping the oil wouldnt come back but no luck. it is coming back about as slowly as it went away. i would say it didnt start coming back until maybe 5 days ago, when i skip washing my hair for one day, it gets a bit oily now and my skin isnt dry and i can see some shine showing up, which sucks!!!!!!!!! but at least i got to experience normal skin for a while lol. other than that, nothing else is happening.
So ive been off accutane for 2 weeks now and my skin is still fine.
oil isnt back yet (YAAAYYYY!)
and i hope it never comes back.
i havent gotten any breakouts and my lips have healed! no more dry lips or cracks!
my skin isnt all fragile anymore, and any cuts/scrapes are healing finally.
its great to be done!!
IM DONE ACCUTANEEEEEE!!
i took my last pill this morning.
im really glad but also nervous for whats gonna happen now.
i hope i dont start breaking out again.
i havent gotten a pimple in forever, and my skin is smooth and soft and awesome.
there is still red marks where my 2 cysts were on my cheeks, and 2 little indents kinda on the right side of my chin.
now i only need to get rid of the red marks and im gonna ask the derm if theres anything she can do about my 2 little indents, then ill have perfect skin !!!!!
anywaysss i cant wait for my lip cracks to go away and to not have back stiffness.
i am really not looking forward to oil coming back, i LOVE having dry skin soo much its like the best thing in the world.
i just hope allll the oilyness doesnt come back.
i like not having to wash my hair every day lol
so accutane was a success for sure!
So I am nearing the end (for the 2nd time lol) of my accutane..maybe. I have 3 pills left, which once i am done will bring me to being on accutane just under 6 months. Howeverrr, Im going on a trip next month, and I am terrified of breaking out and getting oily skin and hair once im off the pills, so im entertaining the thought of refilling my prescription (I still have I refill left, dont know why) and continuing to take it until Feb.15th or so, even tho my derm only told me to stay on it until Jan.21, I still have the refill on the prescription my fam doc gave me a while ago, she put like a million refills on it (sometimes i wonder about her..)lol. I am going to whistler finally!!! ive alwaysssssss wanted to go there ever since i was like 12 so ya im so excited and i really dont want to experience any post accutane breakouts,and it would be really nice to keep my nice non-oil slick face for the trip, and not have to wash my hair every night. it would be really great, so i think im gonna get more pills and hope the ppl at the pharmacy dont put 2 and 2 together and realize i should be done As for my skin right now, its real good except i have red marks to deal with now. I have one microscopic spot on my forehead, which im 99% sure is from my dad putting his hand on my forehead checking if i have a fever cuz ive been sick the past few days. speaking of that, i have been taking cold/flu medicine and what not for the past few days and nights, and i dont know if i should be if its too hard on my liver with the tane but nothings happened so far so i guess its ok? also my nose is soooooo dry still its slowly driving me insane. vaseline is my best friend now. my lip crack was totally gone but its re appeared yesterday and im trying to heal it up again. so annoying! lol. i also got a haircut today! just a trim and re-layered, nothing fancy but i like it anyways i guess thats it!
so the day before yesterday i noticed like 3 little tiny bumps on my cheek. i kinda freaked out and picked at them (i know, bad) but anyways today they are prety much totally gone! if i wasnt on accutane im sure i would have them for another 2 weeks lol. i did put bp on them just in case and it worked out fine. these were the first pimples (i wouldnt even call them that) ive got in about 3 months so im not complaining! also, my nose has been KILLING me lately. its sooo dry and crusty and painful. ive tried nasal gels which do nothing basically now ive resorted to vaseline in my nostrils every night. ughh i want the inside of my nose to be normal again. not only that but it looks all dry and nasty around the outside too. also my lip crack is still around and worse than ever. anyways merry xmas!
So i havent posted in a long time cuz i didnt really feel like it and nothing was really happening. Anyways so yesterday i went to an actual dermatologist for the first time, instead of just my family doctor. It was awesome to be somewhere where everything was about skin! anyways so i told her my doctor had me on accutane for 4 months, which i thought it should be longer, and the derm said to stay on it for another month, so its a good thing i have kept taking my pills when i should have stopped 9 days ago lol. so im glad im on it for another month because ill have more peace of mind that it wont come back. so she looked at my cyst areas and whats left of my 2 cysts and she said keep going on the accutane and hopefully theyll take care of themselves, then come back in 6 months and if im not happy with how it turned out she could do cortisone injections, which id rather not have because im afraid of getting a dent from it. and she gave me a prescription for differin to use when i stop accutane, which i dont realy want to do, because once im done accutane i truly want to be done with all acne meds and everything. so thats where its at right now.
so yesterday was the end of week 14. nothing much to report on except i had a nose bleed one morning. my skin is looking good except the cyst areas (red marks and what not). anyways doing my makeup isnt such a chore anymore lol. as a matter of fact, the other day all i put on was a little concealer and then blush and i looked totally fine! something i never thought would be possible again! lol. anyways im in the last month!! skiings coming up soon, and im sure this winter i wont have to worry about being out in the elements and having my makeup come off!
meh i dont really have much to update on. skin is great except for the 2 cyst areas that are getting better but still visible. tomorrow is the last day of month 3!!
its the end of week 12, i think im a week away from being done 3 months. skin is getting better slowly. cysts are going down. sometimes i think accutane might get rid of them all together then other days ill be sure they need to be removed. it seems like one day my skin is good and the next day its not so good and so on. anyways my lip crack still isnt healed 100% but its getting there lol. i feel like my eyesight has been different, sometimes it seems a little fuzzy when im looking at clocks and stuff that never were fuzzy before from the same distance. hmmm. i guess thats all for now.