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life as it is now

Ok, I can honestly say that I have no understanding of the way a computer works and it took me around half an hour to work out how i actually posted a blog. So this is my first day as an "internet blogger". I do have to say its quite self obsorbing trying to filter out things in my life that people would actually like to read about.

I think my first one will be done bridget jones style

here goes:

Name: Therica

Age: 17

height: 5 ft 4 yet when i stretch 5 ft 5.5

weight: seven stone and a half

state of my skin: so dry, it actually hurts. one big spot three small ones. there seems to be alot of blemsihes (not spots but like rawness and redness).

Ive been on doxycycline for around 3 weeks and i no its not long but my skin has just got so much worse. Its so red and painful and hurts like a b****. I didnt think this was actually meant to happen especially with all the side effects. No alcohol, you skin becoming very sensitive to sunlight, ya know a lil bit of jaundice here and there and diarrhoea to top off some of the side effects i may get. Now i HAVE got side effects, ok not jaundice but i have had the whole diarrhoea, vomiting, blurred vision, nose bleeds and extreme heartburn. This of course brings me to the interesting question of "How much is clear skin worth?". In my case my vanity prevails and im sticking with it.

I just realised vanity is definately the wrong word because its not just us looking in the mirror and saying wow i look good, spots affect everything. I recently nearly cried infront of my mirror after an hour trying to place my hair in certain positions to cover the spots on my forehead. This did happen to be for a huge eighteenth in which there were proffessional photographers and a number of gorgeous friends of mine (when i say gorgeous i mean one looks like a young angelina jolie). Some would say thats ridiculous but for some of us, me included, spots affect our self confidence. There is nothing worse than feeling utterly embarressed about someone seeing our chest, or noticing our face or our backs. In days in which i look particularily spotty, the nice dresses and shoes are put away and swapped for hair up, no makeup, and the good old trackies. And then the hiding starts. I ahte people knowing I have crap skin whats even worse is men knowing I have crap skin. This isnt just because their of the opposite sex its something much more, ive witnessed (on better skin days) them rip into girls with spots pointing out her caked on and cracked foundation. The same applies to girls, boys have been ripped into mercilessly about what would happen "if u kissed him and a pusfilled spot burst?". Sadly these comments are given out casually by the girls and boys with perfect airbrushed skin. Some have never used foundation in their life! Me, I live in it.

So to the doctors tomorrow with the madre. Maybe she will convince the doctor to give me some cure to spots or for them to assure me that this will go away.

till tomorrow


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