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Adult Cystic Acne. Severe and sudden onset.

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Ok so I have been off accutane for a little over a month and no bumps!!! My face looks better than it has in almost 1 year. I mean don't get me wrong I have tons of scars and a lot of hyperpigmentation but my skin finally feels smooth and no more bumps :pray: . My last derm appointment was June 2nd and the doctor injected all of the bumps I had with cortisone and it actually helped. He wrote me a script for Ziana gel and I've been using it since this Saturday so it's only been 4 days. It's starting to dry my skin out a little but that's fine. I wait at least a half hour after I wash my face every night and I apply a very small amount all over my face. then I wait another half hour and use shea butter all over my face to moisturize. I'm still taking the spironolactone 25mg twice daily. I've been taking that about 3 months now and I know for sure it has helped tremendously because my testosterone level went down from in the 100s to 17. My derm was very impressed. I hope that this is not temporary and that my skin continues to improve. I just need it to finally heal but seriously this is the first time in over a year that I have not had any cysts on my face.

Well let me give you guys some key notes from my experience...... 1. The side effects from the accutane which were most bothersome such as joint pain, chapped/dry lips, dry flaky/scabby skin, gum tenderness, headaches, etc were dose dependent. Meaning the higher my dose was the worse my side effects were and soon resolved once I discontinued the medication. I would say by week 2 post accutane they were a distant memory. 2. Your skin sometimes does not look like skin. At least mine didn't, I think because I had so much acne and always so many spots forming and clearing and it just looked like my skin would not heal. My skin always looked raw. Shiny and very bumpy with scabs. All in all it was a bloody nasty mess. Still looks like a lot of healing needs to happen. I will update later. 3. Every single bump you feel and see on your face... for instance a slight bump that you feel when you wash your face but is not visible or a small white head under the skin that is only visible when you stretch the skin... well unfortunately all of these must come up to the surface of the skin while you are taking accutane. For me this was awful because I developed so many clogged pores because of my high testosterone and every one eventually got infected and would not go away until the plug was removed. I literally did a count down and I think I'm down to just 3 when I originally started with over 100 clogged pores. 4. For any ladies that are having acne due to hormones as mine was, insist that your doctor test your estrogen and testosterone levels. Go to endocrinologist if you have to like I did and ask the doctor to consider adding spironolactone to control your testosterone level. I am 100% sure my results would have been different and I wouldn't have been so resistant to accutane had I not messed around with the bio-identical hormones and instead had used spironolactone in combo with the accutane and birth control pill. 5. Be patient. I know it's hard and I cried myself a river plenty of times. Trust me it will get better. I remember the frustration of seeing improvement only to wake up with 4 new cysts on my face. It sucks, but look I finished my accutane thinking it was a total failure and I am just now seeing results after finishing my course. Who knows maybe it's the spironolactone that's doing it for me. I really don't care why. I'm just finally happy. I look at my face in the mirror and I see tons of scars and all the dark marks and I'm still happy because there are no bumps. That's what I hated the most. The scars I'll deal with later. The doctor said 6 months after the last day of my course I can get lazer treatments or peels. So gotta wait till November. I think I'll try the peels first.

Good luck everyone!


My last day of accutane was May 21st. I was on the medication for 207 days. My face does not look like what I envisioned it would after a 7 month course. I presently have 4 active cysts and a few brewing under the skin. On a positive note none of these are new breakouts. I'm not sure if this has happened to anyone else but I developed a lot of clogged pores while on this medication and they get infected and most become cysts. They will actually keep getting reinfected until the plug is extracted. It's so crazy. My derm wants to put me on a 2nd course after a 3 month break. I think I will pass. My face is not really oily and like I said I'm not getting new breakouts. I have to say that it can be VERY DEPRESSING if I think about it so I try not to. I guess now I just have to wait it out. I can actually count how many clogged pores I have and my skin will not be back to how it used to be until all of them are gone.

I know that I am going to need some kind of facial resurfacing due to the numerous scars. I'm not just talking about dark marks I have a lot of indentation. People keep telling me I look thin that my face looks really thin. It's actually from all the scarring I have. It's like I've lost some fullness to my face. It's so horrible. SO SAD.

I don't want to discourage anyone from using this medication because I have spoken with many people who have had great success with it. Unfortunately most of my problems were due to hormones. The good thing is that my testosterone level has finally normalized so maybe once everything does clear up I won't have to deal with this anymore. Good luck to everyone.


Day 133

Still breaking out. Presently I have 6 active spots 5 of which are cysts. 3 of which are huge! My skin looks like it's starting to heal in areas that are clear but still many white heads under the skin that have to break thru. Wow, this is my 5th month and I have such a long way to go still. Kinda sux but I've decided I'm just gunna be whatever about it. It's completely out of my hands. No sense beating myself up about it. I have good news. I went to an allergist who specializes in food allergies and he said there is absolutely no correlation between what you eat and acne. He says that used to be the belief but that was debunked. Studies show that is not the case. The only time you may see skin changes from a particular food is if after you eat something you have severe itching, hives, or breathing problems. So that's great news for me cuz I was so sad about possibly having to give up my daily bagel with cream cheese and coffee light and sweet.

I can't wait till I see my new derm in two weeks and he ups my dose. This dose decrease has really messed things up for me. Some of these cysts on my face have been there over a week and a half. They just aren't drying up. So hopefully when he increases my dose everything will finally dry up and go away. I have to stress how easy it was to change derms on the i pledge system. I urge anyone who is not happy with their progress to get a 2nd opinion and if need be switch derms. It doesn't change anything else and it was very easy.

Oh more good news. My testosterone level is at 53 which I think is within normal range. I have to call the Endocrinologist office tomorrow to see how I proceed. So maybe now things will fall into place without all that testosterone fighting the accutane every step of the way. I'm thinking he may want me to start the aldactone but I'll have to check with the derm 1st to see if he's ok with that. I guess I'll know more tomorrow.


Day 128

So I went to a different derm today for a 2nd opinion. To start off, when I got out of my car in the parking lot I realized that I had forgotten my wallet on my husband's desk. No driver's license, no insurance card, no visa card. I had a panick attack and almost lost it. I called my husband crying and he said to calm down he would scan my license and insurance card and e mail it to the office. Thank God I had cash on me so I was able to pay my copay cuz you know they will not even give you the time of day otherwise. So this is how my life usually is. A freakin mess.

The Dr came into the room and started off by telling me no way I looked 40. I pretended to be shocked by that and then he said you know that! So back to my disgusting skin..... He said I should definitely have seen results by now and that only 1 in 100 people are resistant like me. Do you believe it... Lucky me, fu*# my life. This kind of crap always happens to me. He said that he would have given me the highest dose for my weight which is 60mg/day and doesn't understand why my Dr decreased my dose for this month. He also said that he does not let his patients use the Amnesteem generic. He considers it to be an inferior generic and has seen people worsen when switched to this generic. He said that in my case I'm probably going to be resistant so he would do the max which is 2mg/kg if no results on the 60mg/day and if I still have no positive results we can take a break and restart full on again after a couple of months and that should definitely do the trick. He also said I should be using a topical on the beauties that keep popping up so they can dry up quicker. He wrote me a prescription for Clindamycin gel to apply once a day to active spots. He looked at my face and said that I have a lot of white heads under the skin which need to push through. Wow... this terrifies me because I can see no less than 100 of these and they have been getting infected and coming out. I wish they would just all explode all at once I swear. I'm so over this crap.

Well I gotta say I liked what he said and decided to switch to him. By the way, he said I could easily pass for 28 before he left the room to get his nurse. Not bad considering my face is absolutely grotesque, I had no make up on, and this is coming from a dermatologist. So my face may be full of zits and bumpier than the surface of the moon but at least I look young!!!

So I changed my prescriber on the I pledge and now I have to continue the Amnesteem 40mg a day until I go for my labs for this month which is due on the 15th and I see him on the 17th for a new RX for Claravis brand 60mg/day. Let's hope that finally does the trick. I have my fingers crossed.


Day 127

I couldn't do it. I could not gather up the courage to spackle my cysts, hide all the red marks and go to work. I just figure I did everyone a favor. Anyone who would have come in contact with me would have been way too distracted to be productive anyways. So I slept till 10, got up poked holes in the cysts that looked like they were going to explode and let them drain. I know I'm not supposed to pick but they looked like puss filled balls sitting on my face. It didn't do much good. Now I have scabs. I don't know about anyone else but my suckers are big time bleeders. Sometimes when they drain little clots come out and then a huge purple mark will form under the skin. It's sick. I seriously find myself so hideous and I avoid my reflection at all costs. If I use the bathroom at work I look away from the mirror when I wash my hands. When I open my car door I look away from my reflection on the tinted windows. I just don't need to look and then be depressed for an undetermined amount of time.

Well I felt kind of guilty about not going to work but I just was not mentally able to do it. I worked out, that was good. 50 minutes on the eliptical and 20 minutes of weights on bis and tris. My arms are looking fierce!! Then I took a shower, washed my hair and cried for approximately 15 minutes. Got dressed, dried my hair and called my insurance about getting a second opinion from another dermatologist. So now I have an appointment tomorrow at 10:15 with a different dermatologist and I also have a 7:15 appointment on Wednesday with a immonology/allergist specialist. So I guess I'll miss work tomorrow too. I wish they'd fire me then I could get unemployment and hopefully my face would clear by the time that would run out. That will never happen, they love me at my job regardless of how hideous I am. I don't want to be conceited but I'm the best Pharmacist there, its another curse I bare. LOL.

Hopefully this new dermatologist will tell me something different. I kind of fear that will not be the case and he'll just tell me to hang in there and let the medication work. But seriously when is this God foresaken medication going to start working? The right side of my face has soooo much inflamation under my skin it's ridiculous. I don't know I was hoping the new guy could inject all the bumps or maybe give me a medrol dosepak but what do I know.

On a lighter note my kids are so great. They know I hate myself right now and they are constantly hugging me and telling me they love me. One of my twins changed the wallpaper on my laptop and wrote you are beautiful in every way!!! accross the screen. I have great kids I'm so blessed. My son who is 16 is always telling me it's not so bad, it looks better. I don't know what I would do without them and all of the other people who are always trying to reassure me.


Day 126

I saw the dermatologist on the 17th and he insisted that my face looked better which it did not. He lowered my dose to 40mg per day and said this is will probably be my last prescription. He did something different this time and actually injected 6 bumps with cortisone. I know that accutane works differently for everyone but I really don't think it's going to help me. This really sucks considering all the dry itchy skin, headaches, the sensitive gums, joint pain, and the dry peeling lips. Today I have 11 bumps, 5 of which are really big cysts and are all on my upper cheeks. I'm so depressed and feel so hopeless. I cried my eyes out today for about 10 minutes. I have done everything I'm sjupposed to do. I take my medication every day and I have absolutely no control. It's like my body is betraying me. I don't even want to leave my bedroom anymore. I hate leaving my house. I've been consumed with dread all day just knowing I have to go to work tomorrow.

I got a call from the endocrinologist concerning my labs and the nurse said my testosterone level has gone down to 64 which is good but that I shouldn't be taking the Aldactone until my levels are completely within normal range so I stopped taking it. I just went back to get more labs done Saturday and now I'll have to wait for those results. If my levels become elevated again then I have to undergo a bunch of tests to try and figure out where the extra testosterone is coming from. I'm starting to think maybe I should see a specialist that deals with allergies. Is it possible my acne is from allergies? I don't know anymore. All I know is that 6 months ago I started breaking out like never before in my life and it has not stopped for 1 day since then. I never before had gotten a cyst. I would get maybe 2 small pimples if that a month and because of my period. Now I have a minimum of 3 cysts on my face every single day. 1 dries up 3 more come in. This is so depressing, not to mention all the scarring I have and red marks. I HATE acne. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.


Day 104

Am I the only person this far along into treatment with no improvement? WTF?!? I'm at the point where I don't even care anymore. I am still having daily breakouts. I currently have about 5 sposts that are drying up and 4 new ones. I have noticed all the new ones are infected milia. The problem is that some are in clusters so when they get inflamed it looks like a cyst. The scarring and flaky skin is ridiculous. If I don't see some kind of improvement by the end of this month I am not going to continue with it. What's the point.

I saw an Endocrinologist on the request of my Derm and low and behold he wrote me a script for Spironolactone. He thinks the bio identical hormones is what's screwing everything up right now but he thinks I can benefit from an androgen blocker. So the plan is to do labs to make sure my testosterone levels are decreasing and then start the Spiro. Now if the levels don't decrease or increase then I have to undergo extensive tests to figure out where the excess is coming from before I can start the Spiro. You know I just want to strangle my derm because I asked him to put me on Spiro but he insisted on Accutane. I remember a while back I was on Yaz and my skin was flawless. Yaz has a component in it that is equivalent to 25mg of spiro. I had to discontinue the Yaz due to horrible side effects and that's when all hell broke loose on my face. First it started with occasional breakouts. Nothing horrible but more than what I was used to and then turned into severe cysts which I am still battling.

The Dr prescribed 25mg twice a day of the Spiro but wants me to wait till the labs come back to make sure the testosterone levels are going down but I don't care I'm going to start now. I'm sick of waiting. As for side effects, I still have dry lips, flaking skin, some itching on my face, still some gum tenderness, and crazy joint pain. I just hope all of it goes away once I'm done with my course. I've been applying chapstick like crazy, I ice my face every day- it helps keep the swelling down on all the bumps and eases some of the itching and as for the joint pain I'm just dealing with it. I'm still working out and looking damn good if I say so myself maybe its the testosterone. I have a lot of energy I haven't missed a day sometimes I run on the elliptical for an hour and a half and my arms are looking good more defined. I may not be able to control how my face looks so why not work on the body. Ok I'm gunna keep my fingers crossed that on my next blog I can say that I haven't broken out in...... I don't know, even one day without a breakout would be an improvement for me.


Day 91

I saw the dermatologist on Wednesday. All of my labs were not in yet but he checked my testosterone level and it turns out it is 135 the max range is 75. F*&ck my life!! The Derm said that's why the Accutane is not making the full impact it should. Now I have to see an Endocrinologist. So for any ladies out there like me who's acne is due to hormone fluctuations DO NOT invest in biohormone replacement. I know that's the reason my testosterone level is so high. I paid $400 plus dollars had some freakin pellets inserted in my ass thinking that would help balance out my hormones and now look! My dermatologist saw how upset I was and he hugged me. How pathetic am I? Hope I don't grow a penis! LOL.

Well actually even though my face is not completely clear I think there is some improvement. I have 4 active spots on my face 2 of which are bigger than just a regular zit but not quite cysts. I've been applying tea tree oil on them since I'm allergic to benzoyl peroxide. I went to GNC today since I'm almost out but they wanted $29 for a little bottle. NO thanks, I'll wait till they get the smaller bottle in stock. I found out from the derm that those billions of bumps on my face are called millia and he said most of them will go away from the Accutane. When I wash my face it feels so bumpy because of that and they are all slowly surfacing. Actually I think the 4 bumps I have right now are infected millia, if that makes sense. My scarring is sick!! I just seriously can't look at myself in the mirror too long. I think.... is that really me? How in the blue hell did this happen to me.

Side effects still the same. A new side effect is sore gums and some bleeding when I brush my teeth. My muscle and joint pain is crazy. I feel like an arthritic geriatric patient. Getting out of bed in the morning is comical. I'm all bent over and holding my back until I'm able to straighten myself out. Whatever, I'm not going to let that stop me. I've been working out like a beast!! Running on the elliptical every day for a minimum of 1 hour and weights every other day. Might as well put that testosterone to good use.

Well my dose will remain at 60mg/day since this is actually a little over my max for my weight. I have done the calculation and figure I will probably be on Accutane for 2.5 more months to reach my cumulative dose. Now I have to find an Endocrinologist that will take my sorry ass insurance and will see me right away not after I'm done with my Accutane course. Still keeping my fingers crossed.


day 83

Today I took my 83rd dose, tomorrow will be 12 weeks on accutane. Still having daily breakouts. Today I have 1 cyst, 7 pimples and too many clogged pores to count. I'm still hoping one day soon I will see some real progress. Last week I had 3 cysts on my left cheek which left 2 enormous holes once they drained. The holes have closed up and are now scabs. I've been trying not to pop but I find that the skin is so thin that when everything surfaces it will just drain in the the shower or when I wash my face and leave a hole. I then cover with bacitracin and in a few days it will scab. I am soooo frustrated. I don't see an end in sight. I was so hopeful this would be the month I'd see some improvement but I guess I was wrong. Even if I stop getting cysts I still have these bumps under the skin that also make the appearance of my skin horrible, very bumpy, and there has to be at least 100 of them! I see my dermatologist on Wednesday so let's see what happens.


Day 70

I took my 70th dose today and I am so discouraged. I am still having daily breakouts. Not as many as before but a minimum of 1-2 every single day. The thing that's driving me crazy is all of these closed comodones under the skin. I swear I have at least 100 right under the surface of the skin and they are very visible. They are all over both cheeks and my chin. Some have come up to the surface and form small pimples and if they surface in bunches they look cystic. How depressing! I just looked at my 1st picture when I started the Accutane and compared it to the most recent one I took about 10 days ago and it just looks more widespread. It seems as though every pore is going to get infected before my treatment is complete. Also, my face still looks kind of oily with patches of dry skin. So weird. I have scabs all over my face and about 5 actives at the moment one of which is a cyst but has not yet surfaced. I can just feel the monster right under the skin. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

As for side effects, I still have the dry lips. Some days worse than others especially when I don't hydrate enough. My aches and pains have gotten a lot worse especially 1st thing in the morning. I feel like I'm 90. I started excercising again so that might be why. No running, don't think I could handle that yet. I do the elliptical 45-50 minutes and light weights. I must say I'm loving the fact that I don't have to wash my hair every day, I'll miss that.

I hope my next blog I'll have something positive to post. Acne is so horrible. It's just so puzzling to me how it affects some people and not others. I went to the mall with my daughter yesterday and I swear everyone had beautiful radiant skin and I was so envious!! That was me a year ago. How did everything happen so fast. I think the problem is that doctors don't see this as the huge problem that it is and that's why there haven't been much advances in the way that it is treated. Something obviously triggered this and a better way to treat it is to control the underlying problem so it doesn't continue to happen instead of treating the symptoms which is the acne. How do I know once I have completed my Accutane course and my face is completely devastated this won't happen again? There are so many people an their 2+ course. I just pray this will do the trick for me because I couldn't handle going through this for 6 months and having to repeat the course. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.


day 62

WTF?!?! Today is day 62. I have yet to take my dose since I have not eaten yet. All I can say is that I am so confused! The Dr increased my dose to 60mg a day. I'm taking two different generics. The 20mg is only available as Sotret and the pharmacy didn't have the 40mg for Sotret in stock so that one is Claravis. It's funny I'm a Pharmacist and I know generics are supposed to be "therapeutically" equivalent but I was not happy about taking two different generics but I had no choice. So the Dermatologist was not happy about my use of bioidentical hormones and said that it could be the cause as to why the Accutane treatment has not been as successful. Well I doubt that, its obvious my hormones are f*cked. I mean you don't go from having good skin for 40 years to having your face massacred in 6 months. I'm just trying to help my body get back on track. My mom who is a Dr was also not happy about the hormone replacement she keeps telling me that I just need to wait and my body will fix itself. I'm so sick of people telling me to just wait and to not worry and that things will fix themselves. You need to stop stressing yourself out your making things worse--- its so easy for you to say because your not going through this!!! I don't wish what I'm going through on my worst enemy. I just keep telling myself it has to get better and how I'm at least thankful that it's me and not one of my kids. But I really can't help how I feel. For instance a friend of mine is coming to visit me after not seeing me for a year and I am definitely going to warn her so that she is not in complete shock when she sees me. I spent Christmas Eve at my Moms house and my cousin who is visiting from Dominican Republic and whom I have not seen in years asked me what happened to my face. FML!!!!!!

Well enough about me and my wonderful life, back to my skin... I have some days where everything is drying up and I have like only 1-3 active bumps. I start thinking, wow ok finally it's starting to work and then wham by the end of the day or the next morning I have numerous new bumbs popping up. My face is still really bumpy and a lot of those little white heads under the skin are starting to be more visible but are not at the surface yet. I just know they are going to be trouble because I can feel the burning, which I am convinced is the medication working where it needs to. I don't know about anyone else but I get like this burning, almost like a little electrical shock wherever I have any active pimples or wherever a new one will be showing up. At the moment I have 11 bumps on my face 5 of which are pretty big and very hard to hide even with a pound of make up. I have been icing my face as much as possible and it helps a little. I also use diluted tea tree oil on all the bumps to help them dry up since I'm allergic to benzoyl peroxide. I don't know if all the recent bumps are due to the dose increase but it did coincidentally occur after the increase. Also my redness was kind of going away and the marks were more like a brownish color because of my tan complexion but now it's back to bright red.

The side effects are very manageable. Still dry lips, constantly peeling. Dry skin on my face which makes it very hard to put on make up. Some joint pain. My feet are really taking a beating, all the bones in my feet kill me. I think its from all the years of running. My hair is still falling out but not to the point where I am ready to panic. The skin is constantly recycling. A very thin layer of skin kind of rolls off while I shower or wash my face. Then another layer appears especially where there are any pimples. Then that layer start to get flaky and washes off. I'm still not picking so things are lingering a little longer. I hope that I see dramatic improvements this month. I have my fingers crossed. To end this on a good note I had an amazing Christmas Eve with family and GREAT Dominican food and my cousin's wife told him I look more like my kids older sister than there mom. SWEET!


Day 53

Today is day 53 and I am so confused!!! I thought I was staring to clear up, but that is clearly not the case. I just had my work Christmas party last Saturday, hence the new profile pic. I must say that my acne was very respectful and stayed clear but no lie on Sunday I had a bunch of new bumps. Today I have about 6 bumps on the right side and 2 on the left side. FML. Well at least my face looked decent enough to enjoy myself at the party. Acne is affecting me so much it makes major decisions in my life right now.

Ok so this is what's going on. I have many white bumps under the skin that make the texture of my skin look very bumpy. They have not completely surfaced yet but I'm so afraid they will come out in bunches or get infected and come out as pimples. I also have blackheads, very few, but they also are not completely at the surface. It seems that every pore on my cheeks has decided that it must errupt. Of all the bumps I have right now 3 of them look like baby cysts. Its so funny cuz my skin looks like shit but I honestly think its an improvement on what it was before. So there has been a lot of activity on my chin/jaw area lately and of course the usual on my cheeks. I noticed when I get a new bump even if it's painful it usually will come to a head and be non painful within 2 days. I have vowed not to pick anymore as I have noticed that this only delays healing, believe me this is torture for me. So since I don't pick, after a couple of days the bumps just get a scab over them and start to dry up. Then what usually happens is that the scab or maybe I should say the new layer of skin will kind of peel off when I wash my face and if its ready, the head that has formed will wash off also. Now I'm being careful not to wash off the little white head because if it's too soon it will leave a hole but if you leave it alone it will grow like another layer of skin. So freakin weird. So my skin is still pretty horrible but I guess it was worse before because the size of my pimples were enormous. Now they are much smaller.

My side effects are still minimal. Dry peeling lips and some dry skin. The confusion and dizziness has gone away. I'm a little itchy and I've noticed my hair falling out a lot more. I'm lucky that I have a lot of hair so I'm not worried yet. I hope next week the Dermatologist ups my dose. I still find that my face looks oily throughout the day so maybe I need a higher dose. I guess I'll discuss this with him next week. I've been doing research on effectiveness of the drug and I'm going to make sure that he continues treatment until I reach the recommended cumulative dose of 120-150mg/kg. Studies show that if you are treated to the cumulative dose you have a higher success rate. So besides all the usual crap I guess I'm really glad I started this medication. I only wish I had started sooner. I'm so worried I'm going to have permanent scarring. All I can say is that it looks like there is no end to the breakouts. Hopefully by next month everything will calm down and my skin can begin healing. It's so frustrating. I have started taking Omega 3 1000mg and 50mg of zinc as was suggested on this website. I'll try anything at this point. I'm going to try to enjoy the Holidays and not obsess. All I want for Christmas is clear skin. :wall:


Day 40

Today is day 40. My Derm increased my dose to 50mg per day on my last visit. I've read so much about breakouts with each dose increase that I decided to alternate 50mg and 40mg every other day for the first 10 days. Well I'm not clear yet but I've noticed no more cysts and the itching is gone. Whatever does appear seems to be resolving pretty quickly. The right side of my face is looking much better than the left and the cyst that I had on the left upper cheek just refuses to completely go away. Whatever, I'm so over this crap. I try not to look in the mirror too much. The red marks are like impossible to hide without looking like a complete drag queen. Wearing makeup is something that I've just recently started doing and only because of acne. All my life I just wore lipstick or gloss and maybe some mascara. Makeup was only for going out on a special occasion. This has changed my life in sooo many ways.

On a lighter note, I took three of my kids to Disney and Universal for 4 days and it was really good for me. Got my mind off my skin problems. I made sure to wear sunblock and drank as much water as possible. I'm not sure if it was the medication but I was so beat every night at the hotel. I'll just blame it on the accutane. It was nice to just be around strangers and I wasn't feeling so self conscience.

Now let's get on to the side effects. The dry lips continue but are completely manageable. It's more like they're always peeling. The itching has stopped, well I still feel itchy or slight burning but it's different. It's not the acne I'm almost positive that it's the Accutane working, I don't know call me crazy. My face was so dry and scabby as little as two weeks ago. I mean I would open my mouth to eat and could feel the skin cracking. I started moisturizing my face and the dryness has gone away. Oh and I forgot to mention on my last blog the constant dizziness, I'm still dizzy but not as bad as before.

So I definitely see some improvement. I have 3 new bumps at the moment but they are not cystic as was the usual with me. The right side of my face is a lot flatter and the left side is slowly catching up. What I have noticed is a lot of new little bumps. Like small little white heads that were under the skin are pushing through especially on my upper cheeks and the right side of my chin. This makes my skin look really bumpy and I can't wait for them to just completely break through and go away. I pray that they don't get infected cuz it will not be pretty. I guess I'll have to wait and see.


Day 31

Okay so today is day 31. I saw the dermatologist and picked up my prescription. He increased my dose to 50mg daily. I almost cried at the Derms office when he asked me how I was. Acne SUCKS. This seriously is a curse. The destruction that has been unleashed on my face from this beast is unreal. It looks so bad, it hurts to look in the mirror. It's making me so insecure and self conscious. I just have to keep hoping that I will see improvement in the future.

I have seen a little improvement. My cheeks are still very bumpy but the bumps are smaller. So originally I was curious if the bumps I felt under the skin needed to surface or if it was possible that they might just resolve themselves without coming out. Well guess what? They need to surface. My derm said its like everything needs to be pushed out before you start healing. He also said that it could be a very slow process and I need to be patient. Well, I'v noticed that I still get new bumps on a daily basis but they are not as big as usual. They will come to a head within 2 days then they kind of scab up and the tip will become hard and just wash off then a small hole is left that also gets a scab. It's so weird how they tend to come in pairs or even if it's one bump it will get like two little heads on it. I have all these little holes on my face from previous pimples that look like miniature snake bites, especially on my jaw. My skin is also very dry. Last sunday I couldn't even wear makup because the dryness just made everything look sandy and caked on. The redness and scarring is the worst and can't even be concealed with a pound of makeup.

As for side effects there's a few but mostly dry lips and skin. My lips aren't chapped because I make sure to keep them moist. I think the cortibalm really helps since it has hydrocortisone in it. Another side effect I have which is actually a good one is lack of appetitie and I usually just force myself to eat lunch so I can take the medication. I don't know if anyone else has this but wherever I have a pimple I feel activity, like burning or a mild little electrical shock. So weird, I guess its the medication doing its thing. I am also tired beyond belief, I actually fell asleep in the middle of writing this last night and am finishing it this morning. Well happy Thanksgiving to all, let's all be thankful for the good things in our lives.


Day 21

Okay so I'm on day 21. My face feels really bumpy on the right side. I'm so scared that the 3 huge bumps I feel under my skin are going to decide to make an appearance. My lips are dry but not really chapped and my face is so scabby that when I open my mouth to eat I feel like it's cracking. I have a whole colony of white heads on the right side of my chin that are barely at the surface of the skin but I'm sure they are going to slowly surface as well. FML!!! Acne sucks like no other.

I was in the sun all weekend watching my twins play softball. I guess that also is contributing to the cracked face feel. I have started to ice my bumps and I think it may be helping a little bit. Then again it may just be all in my head. I just still cannot believe the condition my skin is in. I was able to go 39 years with fairly good skin and I can't remember the last time I looked at myself in the mirror and didn't want to cry. It just seems like there is no end in sight. Every time something dries up something new pops up. I have little holes all over both sides of my cheek and I'm pretty sure those are not going away. WAAAAH!!

Okay enough feeling sorry for myself! I know that Sotret is going to do its thang and send this acne to the deepest depths of hell where it belongs. A day will come-- that I can go back to leaving the house with just some lip gloss on, that my first comment to my husband or kids won't be how does my face look today, that I can brush hair away from my face without worrying about scratching a painful bump, that I can wear my hair in a ponytail outdoors. It just has to.

Well hopefully I will have positive things to report on my next blog. As of right now I have 2 small bumps on the left side, 1 medium sized one on the right which has come to a head, and all the usual little bumps on my jaw line close to my chin. The one that I have over my lip, right under my nose is just a huge scab. It looks so gross. I'm hoping that Sotret pushes all this infection out of my face and everything starts to heal. Please, please, please.


Ok so I want to post like every 10 days or every time I finish a bubble pack I'll try to remember to post. I decided to do it today cuz my memory is not so good looking and there are a few things I wanna remember. So my face still looks like shit and every time I look at myself in the mirror I want to cry but the texture of my skin where I don't have any bumps looks really smooth. But seriously these little fkrs just won't give up I had a bump that became scabby and red but was flat and when i woke up this morning it looked like it was pumped up. It's huge! and during my work hours 2 new ones formed-1 right on the corner of my eyebrow and another over my lip. Really cute.

So this is what's happening. I'm still breaking out but not as many at once and kind of in random places not just on cheeks and jaw as usual. They tend to come to a head really quickly and scab up. Since I'm not touching them, which btw is torture for me, they form like a crusty top with the nasty puss underneath. My face is itchy as hell and i find myself trying to find creative ways of scratching without using my hands. Yesterday I gently rubbed the back of my finger across my cheek and dislodged a scab and it started oozing. Freakin disgusting!!!

Sometimes when I wash my face the crusty top comes off and leaves a little hole. I put neosporin and it scabs up. What joy. My face is bumpy as hell and full of scabs. I also have noticed that some of the bumps have like a teeny tiny little hole on top like a port for drainage--just a thought. When will it stop? I was looking at pics yesterday from last year and got so pisst. WTF!!!How did this happen in such a short period of time?

Well atleast I know it's due to hormones. Oh the joys of womanhood! I went to see a Dr that specializes in Bioidentical hormone replacement and my labs show my hormones are a mess. He customized a hormone treament that is compounded and 2 pellets were inserted in my tush by my hip area so hopefully this may help. BTW it was expensive as hell so it better do something but I think I would pay anything to have my skin back-- short of giving up any of my kids. LOL.


Hello there, these blogs have been my obsession for quite some time. Well, I'm a 40 year old mother of 4. Never really had problems with my skin and have actually been complimented on my skin but as of July of this year my skin has become a complete nightmare!!!!

I have at this time 9 active pimples on one side of my face 4-5 which are nodules and 5 on the other side 1 is a nodule and 3 under the skin that cannot be seen. The red marks are ridiculous from previous monsters that have come and gone. I am hoping to talk to others who are currently undergoing treatment and to offer any information from my experience.

Today is day 15 on Sotret, I take a 40mg capsule with lunch everyday. Knock wood I have had no side effects except for the peeling on my lips but they don't feel chapped. I'm using blistex and Dan's cortibalm. I think I am having my initial break out, it started around day 8 and is still going strong. I was wondering if anyone could tell me how long this will last and also if the monsters that are under the skin may possibly go away or do they have to push to the surface before they will heal and disappear.

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