I'm tired of freaking out because of my face.
I don't even know why I have acne, both my parents and grandparents had perfect skin
My siblings have it too but I was cursed with having the worse of it. I've had it since I was 12 and when I was 13 it was the worse. I had huge white heads that would just pop during school whenever they felt like, i also had huge cysts all over my chin and nose. There's never been a time where my nose has been completely clear for more than a day since then.
Since I was young I didn't know anything about my skin and just scrubbed my face really hard with soap and wish it would go away. But it just got worse and worse and then scars started appearing. It took me 3 years to finally figure out some better way to deal with it. It's so much better than it was when I was 13 but it's still pretty bad. I can't help but compare myself to everyone else that i see around me, and no one i see has skin like me.
I was getting hopeful about my skin when it started clearing up so well, then suddenly i wake up with about 20 whiteheads and red bumps around my mouth and chin. I hate it. I do not want to go to school tomorrow and deal with people. I know they never stare or say anything but I can't help but feel down when I ever talk to someone. I keep looking at their eyes and see if their staring back at mine or looking elsewhere on my face.
I hate acne so much. Whenever my face starts to clear up i get one bad day and it takes weeks to get rid of it. Just one day and its ruined. It makes it really hard to be confident about yourself when you can't stop looking at the mirror in disgust. Everyone I see at school has perfect skin I just want to be like them.
I'm done dealing with this.
I just restocked on some products i've been using but i'm going to order the acne.org ones next week.
I'm using neutrogena's redness soothing cream cleanser and an alcohol free toner and anti-wrinkle spf 15 healthy skin moisturizer by them as well.
I've used the redness soothing cream for a month and my skins gotten really clear and less savage as it was a few years ago. But the recent severe breakout has me questioning it..
The anti-wrinkle spf 15 healthy skin moisturizer is amazing. It's been 8 months since i started using that and my skins gotten so soft and even. It doesn't help with my acne and i'm not sure if it makes it worse, but i do know that before I started using the product my skin felt rough and looked oily and uneven all the time and now it looks healthy and feels so smooth on places where theres no acne.
Now it looks like i have nice skin with acne instead of bad skin with acne. And believe me, that's a huge difference.
I just want it to stop, i've held back on having a social life because of this. I want to feel normal. It's the "best years" of my life and i want to experience it.
I'll update when i get the products or when these bumps clear a bit.
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