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What have I got to lose? Trying BP again, for the first time.

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canuckgrl

My face seems to have changed 180 degrees... Before I had a lot of little whiteheads, pustules, etc... And now I am almost completely clear except for two large, painful, cysts on my jawline and cheek. Sure the regimen is helping the overall look and feel of my skin, but these spots are insanely painful and hideous to look at. What is going on?

I have never had cystic acne before. Never. And now suddenly, a few months into the regimen, this is happening. I have already invested quite a bit of time and money into the regimen and I want it to work. The results have been inspiring. But I need to get this fixed asap because my poor little face is screaming. I have recently ordered and received the AHA+ and the Treatment from DKR, instead of using over the counter stuff. I am using Cetaphil and Clean and Clear for my cleansers and moisturizers, along with jojoba oil. I'm not 100% happy with my moisturizer right now, but it seems to be the best I can find and since I've got a full bottle I'm going to wait it out to try something new. The cost of these products is starting to cripple me! I can't afford to just discard the products I don't particularly like.

Does anyone have any idea why I would be getting cystic acne now, all of a sudden? And what kind of advice would you give, if any, for getting rid of it and preventing it in the future. The AHA+ so far is doing a good job and I like it as a product. Same for the treatment. Both go on smoothly and they seem to be doing the job. Any advice would be really helpful!! Thanks!

canuckgrl

So far so good. About 95% of the flakiness is gone and my skin is feeling much better to the touch. I think the jojoba has done a remarkable job, granted I know that my skin would have eventually healed itself as well.

I have just put an order in with DKR to get a decent sized bottle of BP and some of the AHA. These tiny little bottles costing me $10 or $15 are starting to grate my nerves, but there was no sense shipping stuff from the US if I wasn't confident that the regimen was right for me. I'm very happy with the way my face is looking, although admittedly it's not perfect and it's not completely clear. I follow the regimen day and night and I'm still getting a few spots every week. Nothing major and certainly a huge improvement but it is getting frustrating. I get one every day or two - usually just a small zit or a whitehead. Nothing cystic but still very visible, especially because my skin looks otherwise radiant. It's like a big head light on my cheek or jaw-line. More than anything they are bothersome just because they are sore. I've got 4 of them on the go right now and I'm pretty aggravated. Is there any reason they would still be popping up? I really do my very best to follow every instruction. The only difference is that I don't use any treatment above my cheeks, so I use less (about 3/4 of what is recommended). Otherwise I have followed the regimen to a tee. I'm hoping that my persistent acne will subside once the full 3 months are up. I think I'm closing in on 2 months of the regimen right now. Either way my face is definitely looking better.

My next step will be to find a solution to healing my old scars. My face is far from perfect in tone and texture, mostly due to some moderate scarring caused from severe acne throughout the years. I am not sure how to treat this or if there is any way to minimize the look of my scars. Although I know no one else really notices them, they bother me a lot and I'd like to be able to walk around without make-up and not feel like a burn victim for once. I've been off make-up completely for nearly 3 months and it feels good, but sometimes I find that I am feeling self-conscious because of my scarring and lingering acne. Let's hope things get better.

canuckgrl

Quick update - Day 29!

Wow ... How the time flies.

Life has been crazy hectic these past few weeks. I can't even begin to describe it.

My face looks great. I still have scarring, and due to PMS and hormones, a small break out of about 4 or 5 whiteheads and pustules on my chin over 3 or 4 days. Not too bad considering. All that's left is some redness and scarring from years of damage and some residual flakiness. Apart from that my skin is CLEAR.

Never thought I would be saying that.

Anyway since it's been a MONTH almost, I was really hoping the flakiness and irritation would be gone, but it persists. Its improving but not as quickly as I would like. My neck is badly irritated (looks like a burn), despite the fact that I never use the BP anywhere but on my face. Its been suggested that this might be a reaction, but its not bad enough yet to see a doctor. If it doesn't get better within a week I may discontinue the BP for a short period of time and see a physician. That would be very disappointing.

Still keeping up with my supplements, but to be honest I'm not sure they are doing anything. Looks mostly to be from the BP and nothing else. Can't really be sure though.

Hope everyone else is having as much success as I am - even if there are still road blocks to conquer.

canuckgrl

Day 15 - Already?

Wow it's been a while...

So I've been busy. But my face is seriously still looking amazing. Everything has calmed down, the jojoba oil is working it's magic on my dry-river-bed of a face and all in all, I'm pretty freaking happy. Just need to continue moisturizing and hope all this dryness subsides. At present I have a few bumps that may turn into whiteheads on my left chin and some old scars and nothing else to report on. Basically acne free! It's never felt so good to not wear make-up before!

I can't really think of anything else to say. Everything is GOOD. There's no more stinging or burning, I'm using about 1/2 fingers worth of BP now and things are going smoothly. I'll report back in a week or so on my progress.

canuckgrl

Day 6 - BP Regimen

Hi :D Gahhh my face looks glorious.

OK so it looks ridiculous still and feels very tight and quite painful, but the acne is nearly gone. I have no actives on my face and the ones I had are totally died down. My acne looks better than it has in years and I'm excited to eventually have a face that I don't need to cover with makeup (I don't use any to begin with, but that's a matter of self-control and discipline in response to my abuses of make up in the past)...

My skin is still incredibly flaky, though, but it seems the Jojoba oil might be helping. To fight the dryness, I'm mixing 6 drops in with my moisturize in the morning and at night and also applying it before I cleanse (to exfoliate) and a few drops before I apply the BP, as well. So basically I'm overdosing. Lets hope it doesn't clog my pores. Anything to moisturize this mess of a face!

I'm really unsatisfied with my moisturizer right now. I'm using Olay Complete with SPF 15, but it doesn't seem to absorb and I end up with a white residue on my face all day long. Thankfully, I don't really see many people during the day or have a job that requires me to serve the public, because I look pretty stupid. I have definitely been getting some stares and I'm feeling very self-conscious. I almost bailed on a social outing last night because of my face - something I haven't done in a long time. And even though I decided to go in the end (I refuse to be a victim to this kind of bullshit), my friends immediately noticed that I seemed "different" or sad or withdrawn, when I was actually just embarrassed and worried that they would notice how flakey and disgusting my skin is.

Anyway, I'm praying to the skin gods. Please bring moisture back to my face!

canuckgrl

Day 5 - BP Regimen

My face looks ridiculous today. The redness has gone down but my face is so incredibly flaky I look like I might have leprosy. My self-consciousness is at an all time low and I don't even want to leave the house (although I have been trying to get over it). When I went to buy groceries today I felt like everyone was staring at me... It's horrendous looking. Worse than acne, in my opinion, since it looks like my face is literally peeling/falling off. I look like I should be in the burn victims unit somewhere...

Anyway at least the redness and irritation is down. I guess my face is getting accustomed to the BP. I will still use a small amount for the next week or 2 just to be certain. Also, my face is clearing up a bit. My actives have gone down and my skin looks smoother. I'm feeling a bit optimistic about it, actually. Just cannot wait for the flakiness to subside.

I went to Goodness Me today and bought some Jojoba Oil to try and fight the flakiness. It was $15 Can for a smallish bottle (maybe 4oz?), which seemed expensive to me but is still better than paying the shipping and taxes on the DKR products, I think. If it all works well in the coming weeks perhaps I will order the BP and the Jojoba from DKR and then keep with my cleanser and moisturizer I am using now, since they are relatively inexpensive in Canada already.

Anyway if you have any suggestions on making me look less like a decomposing corpse, that would be great. Thanks.

canuckgrl

Day 4 - NEW Regime

Hey all... I need to change the name/explanation of my blog. The UT wasn't doing a damn thing. After 2 weeks there was absolutely no marked improvement, and due to renovations and moving it was just impossible to keep it up. I couldn't store anymore and the costs outweighed the benefits entirely.

So starting on Thursday I decided to try BP again. I've had some bad experiences with topical agents before (like my Proactive disaster), so I was hesitant. I believed that there was a good chance that I could be allergic to benzol peroxide or something else in the product that would burn away at my skin and leave me in great pain (physically and psychologically). After failing with UT, I decided enough was enough and that after 2 years I would try again. I picked up the PanOxyl Aquagel at 5% BP (my pharmacy doesn't sell anything below that) and started using very small amounts in the morning and at night. I am also continuing to use the Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser and Olay Complete Moisturizer with SPF.

Its been 4 days and my skin is looking dry and a little red. Seems to be doing it's job though. Drying out my acne and hopefully revealing some healthier skin in a week or so. I've already noticed a difference which is encouraging. I haven't had much trouble with irritation, although I expected it since my skin is fairly sensitive to these types of products. A little stinging at night (the moisturizer makes it so much worse!) but overall it's manageable. Just need to get past this flaky skin stage and then we'll be set. One thing I definitely do not like about this product is that my face feels a bit filmy all day. I wonder if this is common among all BP products or due to the fact that I'm using a gel instead of a cream? My skin is also quite tight and firm, which is fine. Just the filmy bit I don't like. Any suggestions?

I think that's about it. I'm still not drinking or smoking or eating sugary, fatty foods (to the best of my ability). I'm also still taking vitamin A, fish oil and zinc supplements. So lets hope that all of these things together will help! I'm not looking for perfect skin - just some reprieve from this acne plaguing my face. A nearly clear face would be good enough!

canuckgrl

Day 11?

I think it's day 11 anyway... Hard to keep track.

My weekend has been hectic as all hell. Very little time for anything and I missed a few UTs. This morning I used an aspirin mask again, and my face instantly felt better. Although I've been doing a lot of sweating this weekend (renovations in the house) and so my face was looking quite inflamed after only a few hours. Nothing new to report on in terms of breakouts. I had a few whiteheads that I got rid of (the proper way instead of just scratching and picking) and otherwise my skin is just dry. I picked up Olay Complet with SPF 15 this weekend and started using it in the morning. Feels alright, if a bit greasy, but it soaks in OK. I don't like the feel of moisturizer to begin with so it'll take some getting used to.

Other than that things are pretty well the same. Picked up better quality Omega 3s at Costco on Friday and my supplement plan is making me feel a bit better. Not sure if that's just psychosomatic, but we'll see. No startling progress yet, but who knows. These things take time.

canuckgrl

Day 8/9 - Midnight

My face is looking about the same still. Few new very small pimples this morning. Nothing major but still not really improving. These things take time, however.

In terrible news, I went to town on my face today and scratched my jawline a whole bunch while I was on the computer. Seriously terrible. I felt like a jackass afterward but my face is so itchy and dry... Agh! Hopefully they will heal up soon.

Nothing else to report on. Still putting piss on my face. Please do not alert R. Kelly.

canuckgrl

Day 6!

It's been almost a week but it feels like a lot longer... That's probably not a good thing.

Well I'm still feeling discouraged. I woke up with one new whitehead and everything else basically the same. Unfortunately it's taking forever to my current flare ups to die down. My face is still blotchy and it's getting dry. I definitely need to start using a moisturizer... I've read that the Cetaphil is a bit heavy and could make my skin look oily, but makes me hesitant. Perhaps I'll invest in the Olay SPF moisturizer that's been suggested on the message boards. I'll only be using it in the morning, so an SPF is important.

Gahh... Why won't this just go away? The good news (its relative, right) is that my forehead, nose, and cheek bones are pretty much clear. It's just chin and jawline at the moment that are still covered with bumps, red spots, and awful looking skin. Can't wait to get rid of all of it. I'm thinking that after my 2 weeks experiment I might try BP again - very sparsely! I've had some bad experiences with BP in the past but I'm willing to try it again (with a great deal of caution). So we'll have to see how I'm feeling after the 2 weeks is up.

That's all I've got for now.

canuckgrl

Day 5

Happy Thanksgiving to all other Canucks out there :) And Columbus Day to you 'Merkins, too!

Well since it's Thanksgiving and the family is all together it was quite difficult to complete my urine therapy this morning. I cut a corner and only had the urine on my face for around 20 mins, but it's better than nothing. I didn't wake up with any new breakouts this morning, but after looking at the pics I have take the past few days it doesn't seem like things are improving greatly either. And the pics make my skin look much worse than it does when I just look in the mirror. I suppose it has to do with lighting and how close the camera is to my skin. Either way it's discouraging because in the mirror my face looks clearer and more evenly toned but on the camera it looks really quite terrible... So I may start taking pics with a digital camera instead of my webcam, and perhaps during the day to benefit from the daylight.

Anyway when I look in the mirror I can see some healing taking place. Nothing ground breaking but slowly healing up. I've noticed now that applying the urine makes my face sting quite a bit. This is new - the first few days it was totally neutral on my skin. Just felt like moisture. But this morning it was near impossible to not scratch my face - it was so itchy! But, thankfully I resisted.

My face is starting to get quite dry and a little oily, and I'm thinking maybe I should try to find a light moisturizer. This isn't something I would typically use but it might be beneficial since I'm not putting anything but water, cleanser and urine on my face now... Any suggestions? I'm thinking I might try the Cetaphil moisturizer since I am really liking their cleanser (even though it doesn't foam, which is strange). Maybe I'll just pick up some jojoba oil instead...

canuckgrl

Day 4

FACK!

So I gave in this morning and popped the two new pimples that showed up over night. I got one on either side of my chin. The one on my right side popped easily but the other one I forced and I feel terrible about it. I'm really trying not to touch my skin at all but I'm clearly failing at it.

I'm also feeling a bit discouraged. These two new things that developed overnight on my face really brought me down. My skin appeared to be healing quite well, but I guess I can't expect it all to go away over night. The good news is that my pores are getting smaller and the tone of my skin continues to improve. So I'll just keep it up.

Weekends (especially holidays) are proving to be really difficult for urine therapy, since I don't live alone and am very stressed out about someone finding out. Also I had been storing and I think that was a bad idea, since I couldn't store in the fridge, so from now on I'm going to use fresh urine every day.

And that's it. Hopefully I can just keep my chin up.

canuckgrl

Day 3 before bedtime

It is SO difficult not to touch/scratch my face all day... I'm trying so hard but my face gets oily now, and then it gets itchy. It's impossible!

In better news, I told a good friend of mine that I was taking some additional steps to treat my acne (didn't mention the UT), including vitamins/supplements, some diet changes, aspirin mask thing and a no make-up regimen and she was shocked. She couldn't believe that I wasn't wearing make-up. I guess the tone of my skin has improved! Although make up has never successfully covered my acne (it's much too severe to cover), it has always neutralized the tone and pigment of my skin so that I don't look blotchy and red. I guess things are starting to look up...

Unfortunately the pics I have taken thus far don't really show any marked improvement. My skins looks healthier in tone and that, but I still have pretty moderate-severe scarring and my chin, cheeks and jawline are still covered in those little bumps. The webcam really exaggerates them, I guess. At least I haven't gotten any new breakouts at all. Today a few existing pimples popped in the shower, on their own, and they appear to have already healed up a bit.

Just have to wait it out. But I still have hope - Things are looking good so far.

canuckgrl

Day 3

Morning :)

Well when I woke up a few hours ago my face was looking a bit dry but also a bit better. Maybe it's psychosomatic, or I'm just seeing results because I'm looking for them, but it seems like the tone of my skin is nicer, there's less redness, and in general I just look better. Since Day 1 I have had no new pimples or whiteheads, which is shocking, and probably just a matter of coincidence. The old ones seem to be dying down but the biggest problems continue to be a) my old scarring and b) the small bumps under my skin (I have no idea what they are)... I have them all over my cheeks, chin and jaw and I don't know what causes them. They don't look like whiteheads and they don't ever surface, they just make my skin look cavernous and gross. Anyway, all in all the skin is looking a bit healthier.

I'm still working out the kinks in my vitamin remigen. I've divided them up so that I'm not taking so many at once, and thus, not making myself want to vomit. This is what I've got going:

AM

-Fish oil x 2 (at 1000mg each)

-Zinc 50mg

-Multi-vitamin

-Magnesium complex

PM

-Fish oil x 2

-Iron

-Melatonin

Question: I think I might be taking substandard fish oil pills... They are only 30% EPA and they are just "marine fish" and don't specify. I've read that this is no good. And that I should be taking 1500mg of EPA a day, and I'm only getting 1200 with my 4 pills. Anyone have more information on this? Which brands do you recommend etc? I bought these because they were relatively inexpensive in comparison. I know we shouldn't be cheap with our skin, but times are tough :D haha In all actuality I'm just a cheap mother fucker. Always have been, always will be. But if it's going to make a serious difference, I'll switch brands once I get through these. Please comment if you know :D

I've also been reading up on the efficacy of asprin masks. From what I've read and heard, they look to work fairly well, most of the time. So, I decided to test it out and see how my skin feels afterward. Unfortunately, I think I fucked it up. It didn't look like a paste and it didn't sit on my skin very well. I used just asprin, honey and water, but I think I may have used too much water. My skin feels a bit tighter but there was no tingling or itching or anything else. Anyway I think I'm going to use one every Saturday morning in replacement of my urine therapy. I know I'm screwing with the whole premise of this experiment but oh well. Weekends are way more difficult for UT because more people are around and it's hard to sneak in 30 mins to an hour of smelling homeless.

The only other thing to report is that my chin has about 8 tiny zits on it and I really want to pop them. They are healing - or so I think... But it's really hard to just leave them because I want them off my face. Here's hoping they go away in the next few days...

canuckgrl

Day 2

Ok so here's another update... I really want to talk about this whole thing and there's no one in my life I feel safe sharing it with. So I guess I'll just be posting a lot.

My face is feeling very oily, which is annoying and unusual. I have 'normal' skin - not oily or dry, typically. But I am finding that as of late it's oily and sort of itchy. As a result, it's very difficult not to touch/pick. I have to admit, I've picked a little. And I catch myself leaning on my hands when I'm at the computer (likely the reason I have so much action around my chin and jawline) but I stop immediately and find somewhere else to put my hands. Sleep is also hard because I'm used to sleeping with my face on my hands (weird, I know)... I am making an effort to fall asleep with my face totally exposed but it's very difficult. The urine is actually keeping me from touching though, especially in the evening. Since I know I have it on my face, my hands steer clear and I try to keep my sheets and pillowcases as free of urine as possible (even once it's dry).

This morning when I took my supplements I nearly threw up. I am either taking too many at once, and need to stretch them out throughout the day, or I just need to get used to it. I'm also worried about my parents finding out about my vitamin and supplement use. Having grown up in an environment that encouraged rational thinking and a search for truth, science and maths have always been promoted and homeopathy, astrology and other such nonsense have been seen as pure quackery. This is generally how I feel as well. But, I'm willing to give it a try since there is really nothing to lose (except the money I spent on the supplements themselves). As much as I know my parents will understand, because my acne is a serious source of unhappiness, I am not looking forward to dealing with their inevitable judgment...

Anyway I have more to say but that'll be it for now. I plan on taking some pics tonight before I cleanse and apply. I need to get this oily deliciousness on film!

canuckgrl

So, I'm starting to hate smelling like a homeless person when I go to bed at night. The smell is really the worst part. And because it's on your face it's impossible to escape. Nothing about this trial bothers me, really, apart from the smell. I'm very conscious of it and I'm worried that other people will be able to sniff me out (I live with 2 other people).

In better news, when I woke up this morning my chin and cheeks were drier than normal, which seems like a sign that something might be working. I do not use any moisturizing agent normally so for the time being I'm going to leave it to heal itself. It is nothing terrible and it's not noticeable. It seems like the inflammation has gone done, at least somewhat and the tone of my skin has improved slightly. And - shocker of all shockers - nothing new has popped up on my face! Fantastic.

Lastly - I got my vitamin/supplement regimen down. I'm taking everything in the morning, which according to the bottles is fine. I take 3x fish oil at 1000mg, zinc, vitamin d, multivitamin, magnesium, and iron all with a glass of orange juice. At night, I take melatonin, but that's it. The magnesium and iron I take for another condition, but I figure it can't hurt to be all caught up.

So that's it. I'll be taking pics later on, since I'm already late for work - Fack!

canuckgrl

DAY 1 - Update

So here's my first update.

At the moment, my face feels disgusting. I took some pics earlier today, after my morning routine. I feel greasy and I really want to touch/clean my face, but I'm making sure not to even THINK about it (ok - so I am thinking about it... a little). All in all it's got me pretty down.

In order to lift my spirits, I went to the mall for some retail therapy. I put very minimal make-up on, as I am trying my best to steer clear of any or all make up during this trial. I felt so embarrassed and shy while I was out, I just wanted to hide. When I woke up I was feeling great but by the afternoon I felt like shit again... This is no good. I think, in part, it has to do with the fact that I am second guessing this decision. Because I am so analytical and rational, it was easy for my to convince myself to try it out (cost/benefit analysis, and all) but now I just feel disgusted with myself, in a way that is irrational but very real. I keep talking myself back into the process but I'm just not sure yet. Hopefully this doesn't last the entire 4 weeks...

In other news, I am ramping up my vitamin intake starting today. Originally I was taking magnesium, iron, and melatonin for issues I have with sleep and muscle/bone health. Today, I bought fish oil, zinc, and a multi-vitamin. Along with my BC pills... well it's a lot. But I'll manage. I just need to to figure out what has to be taken with food and what I can take at night/morning. I'll update with my new routine when I figure it all out.

Dear god, I feel like a fucking hippy...

canuckgrl

Seriously... ?

So, I'm new to Acne.org. I found this place a few days ago and signed up hoping to find people that can relate to my life-long struggle with acne. I've decided to document my new trial with urine therapy because of the stigma attached - and if it works, I hope it will give others a reason with little motivation to keep trying new things (even if those things don't include UT). I'm at my wits end with this acne right now, so I figure what have I got to lose?

I should start by saying that I never in my life would have thought I'd be applying urine to my face or any other part of my body. I'm not a "hippy" or a vegan, I don't wear hemp, I don't take 1800 vitamins a day, and for the most part I'm a totally normal young woman. I have a University education. I have friends and family, like you. I'm emotionally stable and for the most part lead a relatively content life (apart from constantly worrying about my face).

My acne struggles began when I was about 11 or 12. The severity of my acne has varied over the years and was most severe in highschool. I have tried just about every regimen in the books with little to no success at all. To boot, I have had some very negative experiences with Accutane and Proactive, both resulting in hospital visits. I have tried all means of OTC remedies (you name it, I've tried it), retinal creams, BP gels, various medications, prescribed astringents, etc. Holistic stuff has never really been my "bag", because I usually think its just a whole lot of bullshit (honestly). I don't believe in astrological signs or the power of zen, so... Science and reason have also led me to the answers I needed and I figured it would be the same with acne, but thus far, nothing has helped - which is why I have decided to undertake this endeavor.

Since I have had such horrible reactions with harsh acne treatments, and whereas urine treatment is totally free and easy to do, I have committed myself to 2 full weeks of urine treatment with the possibility of extension for another 2 weeks if I see any sign of improvement. My regimen will be as follows:

AM

Cleanse face quickly with Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser

Apply moderate amount of urine to dry face and leave for 30mins to 1hour (depending on schedule)

Rinse with cold water

PM

Cleanse face quickly with Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser

Apply moderate amount of urine to dry face and leave over night.

TO BE CLEAR - I am NOT drinking my own urine. I do have boundaries, y'all :D

Before I post this I want to be very clear about one thing. I did not join this community to be mocked or harassed. I have no interest in ignorant comments suggesting that I am "gross" - In fact, I am extremely clean in my everyday life. Personally, I don't find applying urine to my face any grosser than having huge puss-filled zits sitting on it every day - that seems like a good enough rationalization as any. However, I have been socialized like the rest of you into thinking it is disgusting (hence my boundaries) - which is why I will not be posting pictures. This is, after all, the internet. I will be taking pictures, however, hopefully every day, to keep track of any improvements.

So that's about it. Today is DAY 1.

I technically started last night, washing and applying urine for the night. The smell did not go away, as I had been instructed, once my face had dried and I found it really hard to fall asleep. Lets hope I get used to it... This morning when I woke up my face desperately needed to be washed and I felt quite greasy and gross. The status of my acne at current is moderate, with significant scarring from years of acne (and picking, I must admit). I have about 12 whiteheads at current with 3 healing pustules. No new cysts or pustules this morning.

So I think that's it - Thanks for reading. Please leave me comments if you are reading this (nothing nasty) since I need as much encouragement as possible.

EDIT: I forgot to mention... Since I am a picker (i know!) I'm making a concerted effort over this experiment to not touch my face at all. Of course I get itchy etc, but I'm really making an effort. I may also start taking fish oils and zinc. Not sure about this yet but will update. I know that these changes may improve my complexion and will in some ways discredit any successes I have with UT, but whatever. I'm aiming for clear skin, after all, not publication of my findings :) Cheers.

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