I think I have it.
I guess I feel relieved that I can finally put a name to it, but I also feel so hopeless, like the name "disorder" is dragging on me like a weight.
I'm feeling a little sick to my stomach for no explainable reason. I feel like I'm dying, but slowly, in the way you feel like you're dying when you know it should end but you're not completely sure it will.
I'm scared. I'm scared of myself.
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