not sure why I'm writing this, but I've been balling my eyes out for the last hour or so and felt compelled to do something about it. Not sure if a blog helps (never had one before) but at least it might help me get my mind a little bit more focused.
Anyway I'll tell you my story...or at least why I'm balling my eyes out.
I have been dealing with moderate acne ever since I was 14. Tried the family doctor, tried a few creams and some weird rolling applicator thingy, sort of gave up on the whole thing after nothing worked and began to sort of accept my condition as who I was (wasn't really thinking about it so much after a few years and just sort of hoped to outgrow it).
8-9 years go by (try the odd thing in the meantime...family doctor increasingly les helpful-continues to downplay it), finish university and move back home. GF of four years dumped my ass a few years prior...I'm over it and want to start dating again. So I decide to try looking for other treatment options, stumble on Dan's web site, try the regiment, and miraculously see improvements!
Within 2-3 months I'm completely clear and in heaven. I'm confident, happy, and oh so grateful. I continue the regimen for a year, meet the most amazing girl in the world (I'll call her A-M). She by the way, has flawless skin. We're in love and decide to buy a house together. We'll be moving in 2 weeks exactly today.
So why am I balling my eyes out today? Well here's where fate decides to take a big dump on me (more precisely on my face). About a month ago, my face begins to itch almost uncontrolably, its difficult not to scratch and my face begins to crust and seems infected. I go see my ever so helpful family doctor who brushes it off as some random minor allergic reaction and not to worry about it. the itch worsens and I begin to suspect I may have developped an allergy to my precious BP gel. I decide to take a week off just to see. I'm a little worried about this since in the past I have broken out after missing only one application. The itch seems to decrease, but my skin also begins to break out...slightly at first, but then new pimples begin to pop up everyday. I panic and decide to start using my BP again. After a few days I'm convinced I'm regaining control of my pimples, but my skin is now red raw and crusty. Meanwhile I begin to panic. A-M doesn't seem to understand why I'm so worried, but again she doesn't realize how bad it will get. I'm terrified she will soon find me disgusting and I'm now worried about running into her friends (I like to look good in front of people she is close to). I feel like I have trapped her into something she didn't sign up for. I love her so much and I'm so scared of losing her...but I digress.
I finally decide to go to a walk in clinic (my ever so helpful doctor is impossible to get a hold of and as of yet, frowned at the idea of giving me a referal to a derm). The doctor at the clinic jokingly asks what I got my face into, and then after I tell him my story, recommends that i no longer use my BP. He also prescribes me some Fucidin ointment for the infected areas. I beg him to give me a referal to a derm, he says it can only be done by my family doctor, I tell him the family doctor always gives me a hard time, he says his hands are tied but then adds...when he sees your face he won't refuse to give you that referal. I get hope and try to call my family doctor...get his answering service...he's away on vacation....again. I start to cry uncontrollably and call A-M in a panic, she doesn't seem to understand why I'm so worried, I make a complete ass of myself...and finally decide to write here. I'm sooo scared because BP is the only thing that ever worked and now I can't use it...I don't want my acne to come back...I'm so depressed.
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