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My Accutane blog

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Day 92

Hey everyone,

Its been a hectic semester so I really havent kept up with the blogging. But this also due to the fact that I have no more acne. My face is clear. Its not even and still is reddish but it is COMPLETELY clear. On the flip side, my hair is taking a beating. its falling out more and more. Still have a number of months to go but my self-esteem has come back significantly!!!! I can look people in the eyes again. YES! I have a christmas party tonight and I excited to get dressed up and enjoy myself after being cooped up with finals for the last three weeks. YAY for no acne!!!!


So here's my latest update:

My skin is clear. Aside for some red marks from past breakouts, I have NOT one pimple!!!! I'm still trudging away at 40mg because I just don't want to experience the awful side effects I immediately suffered when I was on 80mg. The downside to this is that my derm told me I'll be on the drug for 8 months instead of the intended 4 months.

The only the side effect I am getting still is dry lips and my hair is extremely dry and brittle. I slather on conditioner and sleep with it. Its also starting to shed.

My self-esteem is coming back and I am able to concentrate better at school and go out with my friends. I'm very surprised I've cleared up so quickly since I've been reading alot of stories about people still breaking out pretty bad. My IB was bad but looking back, it was definitely worth it.


Day 55

So its almost been two months since I first started. I must admit, the first three weeks were pretty difficult but things are looking up. My skin is getting much better. I still do have occasional breakouts but i can deal. my skin is healing slowly and the side effects are minimal now (except dry lips and around mouth and extremely brittle hair) So to everyone just starting out, stay positive you'll get through the IB and hopefully with little other side effects.


Kissing on Accutane?

So last night at the halloween party a guy tried to kiss me. We had been talking a lot and he told me he was really enjoying our conversation. When he went in for the kiss I pulled away because my lips were so dry and I didnt want him to kiss sandpaper lips! I wanted too kiss him back but just couldnt. For those of you who have boy/girl friends how do you manage kissing when your lips are sooooo dry? How does it feel and do your lips get drier after? We might go out since I gave him me number but I dont if I should....


Day 43

I've been sick for the last week with a really bad cold. Stayed in bed for two days and then had lots of work to catch up with. As of now, my skin has been holding up alright. No major cysts and my forehead is all clear. Im still getting small pimples that eventually turn into whiteheads around my chin and the sides of my cheeks. When I'm able to pop them, my skin clears within a day and stays clear for at least two days before more come to the surface! Its a slow process and it want it to speed up but I guess patience is a virtue! The other side effects have gone away-except for the dry skin and lips. But no headaches or backaches and Im not that tired like I was in the beginning. I am managing my dry hair and brittle hair but only washing it once a week and when I do, I wash with some plant based shampoo and slather on conditionner like its going out of style! This seems to have alleviated my dandruff and itchness. I'm going to a halloween party tonight- yes I've resumed my social life! I think it will be fun but it will test my desire to drink! I plan on having one drink-hopefully I can stop at that!

Happy Halloween!


Day 36

Current condition of skin: after the last breakout my skin cleared again and I now have no active pimples. Its been roughly two days with no actives.My skin is still dry and my lips dry as well. The Red marks are slowly fading in the places where I had really big ones.

I've experienced another headache that lasted a day. I'm not happy about this but I guess it could be worse...

As of now, I'm relatively happy with the state of my skin.



So I calculated and since being on Accutane (1 month) I have had one good skin day. I broke out again. A huge pimple smack on my cheek and one on the side of my face. I was able to pop both but the fact is.....im still breaking out. The one on my cheek will leave a really nice red mark for quite a while. Oh well...


State of my skin: No major active pimples or cysts on my skin! AMAZING! Just two tiny little bumps on one side of my cheek. I was able to go out of Friday night and not feel like a freak! My makeup covered the red marks fine! I really hope it continues this way or get better!



28 days later

Just a quick update to let everyone know that I'm feeling much better and my skin is doing better too! I currently have one active pimple!!! Its a big cyst on the side of my nose but the rest of my face has no actives. I have quite a few red marks from my previous breakout but all-in all things are looking up! It feels nice to put makeup on once a day and not have it slide off due to all the excess oil. I also just purchased a new skin cleanser from Dermalogica which is supposed to be a top of the line product.

I am not getting anymore headaches but I still feel stiff and my joints ache a lot. This sucks because I'd like to go rock climbing for my birthday but I don't think my body will hold up. My lips are doing alright but I can go through a whole tube of balm in a week!!! My skin is less red and overall my spirits have improved. I hope things continue this way!

Was wondering where I can purchase Aquafor lip balm?



Day 23

Woke up this morning with a bunch of under the skin lesions; all of which are extremely red and painfully to the touch. Im not seeing the light...I feel like when all this is said and done my face is going to be completely scarred. I have such pale and delicate skin. Im managing ok with the other side effects. Im not getting headaches anymore and my lips and face stopped burning. The dryness is still there and my hair is extremely dry and flaky. If anyone is looking for agreat product to help with this I would suggest going to the salon and picking up an amazing product called Moroccan oil. It absorbs great and leaves the hair with a nice shine.

On another note, I am feeling sad today. Well maybe more nostalgic. Last year around this time I was returning from eastern Africa where I worked for a few months. It was truly the best time of my life. The most challenging experience but the point is: I was full of life and unafraid. Coincidently, I was completely clear skined while I was there. I think this can be attributed to a few things: I hardly wore makeup because we only had water to wash every couple of days. I rarely looked in the mirror because I was so busy, therefore I didnt mess with my face. I ate the fresh food and no junk. I was also on doxycycline (not only is it for acne it's also an anti-malaria pill). I had one pimple in three months. I didnt worry about my skin at all. I think that even if I was having skin problems over there, I dont think I would be nearly obsessed with myself. Things are put into perspective when you're working with people who live in such dire circumstances. While we are worrying about our faces, others are worrying about where they're going to get there next meal, or whether they can return home without fear of being attacked by rebels. That said, I am going to try to stop being so obsessed with my skin and the way I look. I'll be putting this blog on the back burner for a while since I think its facilitating my preoccupation with my skin. As much as I like this forum, I need to concentrate on my life on the outside world. If I had the courage to work half way across the world, then I can grin and bear it. Here I go.....


Day 21

Had my derm appointment....wasnt happy, not only because I had to pay 120 bucks for the consultation but also because I have to see a neurologist to rule out any brain swelling. Im sure everything will be fine but because I have a history of migraines and have been getting headaches on 'tane, he wants to rule it out. The derm left it up to me to decide the dosage. I can take 80mgs and get through the treatment or I can take 40mgs and be done in about 4 months. Not sure what to do. I dont want to be on this stuff for 8 months but i cannot deal with the side effects at 80Mgs. Im at a loss. I dont like my derm, he's really annoying and tells me things like: never wash with a cleanser and never use moisturizer or makeup. I told him that it was easy for him to say because doesn't have acne. Anyway, I am once again confined to my house. Im supposed to go out on a date on sarturday. I made the date a few weeks ago thinking my skin would be clear enough. However, I am currently nursing a huge cyst on the side of my cheek and i jus dont have the courage to face this guy. I dont want to cancel on him because I went out with him in the summre but than never really called him again until we ran into each other at school. I sort of freaked out the last time because I had just come out of relationship and wasnt really ready to make time for a man. If I cancel on him now, it looks really bad. Should I go out with him and face him looking like this?


Day 20

The IB keeps getting worse. What do I do... I dont even want to leave the house for my derm appointment tomorrow. Didnt go to work today. I've never had acne this bad. I have a huge cyst on the side of my mouth. Three 4 pustules on my left cheek that are begging to be popped, a bunch a small white heads and a scattered community of red marks. The black heads have infiltrated every pore on my cheeks. The only part of my face that has put up a good fight is my forehead. Oh IB what a cruel irony you are....


Hey everyone: wanna learn a lesson from me? Here's a reason not pick your pimples! I'm still going through my IB from 'tane. Just when i think im getting better a few more pop up. Anyway, I accrued three new pimples on my cheek. They pretty deep so I tried to pop them...big mistake. I have very sensitive skin (oh the old sing sing) and it left a huge red splotch on one side of my face. So I go to school today and after class, a fellow classmate pulls me aside and asks if Im alright. So i say "yeah, why wouldnt I be?" Long story short, he thinks I've been hit by an abusive boyfriend! How's that for embarrassment! I'm thankful that I am not in an abusive relationship and I by no means wish to downplay the seriousness of that issue but for pete sake my face looks like I was battered.

So here's the lesson my friends: DONT PICK YOUR PIMPLES!!!!


Day 18

I came across some bio-oil today and used a tad. It seems to help alleviate some of the dryness. But even after i put on my makeup, I can peel the skin off certain parts of my face. I broke out again with three pimples on my left cheek. For a while that side was doing well and now ive got more. I look ridiculous but there's not much I can do. I have a derm appointment on friday so Im getting my blood work done tomorrow. The lady at the testing clinic told me her son was on accutane and it did wonders. Every time I see her she asks how Im doing. Its kinda nice! Hopefully everything will come out alright. I'm on a really tight schedule this week. Studying for government tests, writing papers, actually work so i can pay my bills and class. My mind is not focusing as I would like it to-probably cause I'm so wrapped up thinking about my skin. I really dont want accutane/skin problems to mess up my semester. Its my last year and I need all As to bring up my GPA. Since being brought down to 40mgs my face is no longer burning and my lips have calmed down a bit. But I still have a hard time getting up in the morning. It takes me a good 2 hours before I feel like myself. The joints are hurting but I can deal with that more than the grogginess.


Day 16-Can't escape it!

Today was a difficult day. I'm really starting to feel the effects of 'tane. My body aches-especially my ribs and lower back. I went for an hour walk on the mountain today and when I got home I was exhausted. To make matters worse my face erupted in a whole bunch a tiny bumps. I have to squeeze to make them come to the surface. I'm trying not to pick! My face is so grainy, dry and uneven. I now have a collection of blackheads all around my nose. I never get black heads and now i have to deal with these too. My lips are forever dry and the side of my mouth is still cracked and bleeding. My face looks like a battlefield after war. :) When will this IB end....


Day 15

I've passed the two week mark. So far my IB has been manageable. Although yesterday I broke out with three small read pimples on my forehead and a cyst on my chin. They've subsided considerably since yesterday though. I really hope week three doesn't get any worse. My lips are very dry still and the side of my mouth cracked and bled. I'm supposed to go to a party tonight but I don't think i will go. Not just because of my skin but also because my ex will be there and he's an obnoxious jerk and I don't feel like dealing with him! Anyway, not much else to report today



Day 13

I finally spoke to my dermatologist and he decreased my dose to 40mg a day from 80mg. I am feeling much better than yesterday. The fog has lifted and the three day headache is finally gone. It was so bad that my mom came over last night to bring me groceries and take care of me! How's that for being 27 and still needing mommy! I couldnt even get out of bed. On another note, I'm noticing a lot of dandruff and flaking everywhere. I guess this comes with the territory! My skin is very dry today. Makeup just flaked off a minute after putting it on. I also broke out with a few more small white heads. Nothing too crazy but still annoying. I do notice my pores are smaller which I really like! I'm a little concerned about the dryness since where I am from, the weather can get down into the negative 20s during winter. Hopefully i'll find a moisturizer that works!


Day 12-Turn for the worst

so today was/is bad..i feel like I've been hit by a truck. I feel disoriented, tired, foggy, headachy. Even people at school noticed that i looked a little off. Called my derm and waiting to hear back from him. I think i might be on too high of a dose...40mg twice a day. I am a very petite person and only weigh 100 pounds so I think this might have something to do with it. I've had a history of migraines so maybe this contributes to the effects as well. Anyway, don't feel much like writing, gonna go take a nap before I get started on a take home exam. As for my skin, I have a few more under the skin lesions but they dont really hurt. My skin was slightly oily today..


Morning 11

Just a quick note to say that I woke up without any breakouts-thankfully. I do see some tiny little white bumps under my skin...I'm going to leave them be! I also had a mild nose bleed and the headache I had yesterday is still lingering. My skin is parched and red. Last night my lips hurt so bad. I still don't have a proper moisturizer. I may go look for one after class, if I feel up for it. I'm only on day 11 and I want to quit!

Question: Can someone please recommend me a good moisturizer...has anyone tried any products from Kheils?


Day 10

This morning i woke up with a really bad headache. Im not sure if its due to 'tane or maybe its just the rainy weather were having. Anyway, im not feeling all that great today. I haven't broken out thankfully but i still have spots and underthe skin lesions in places i dont normally get...at least they are subsiding. My lips: very dry and peeling. My skin: a lot less oily but looks as if I have a mild sunburn.

I dont really have a skin regimen. Sometimes I use spectrogel but when i wear makeup I need a more heavy duty cleanser. At night sometimes i use BP from proactive and sometimes i use clyndamicin gel. It all really depends on the state of my skin. But I do take vitamins and i think the zinc has helped.

Question: Is it really that terrible if I drink one glass of wine every now and then while on accutane? I've been avoiding alchohol for that last 10 days but im such a wino and like a glass with a meal.

Alright time to get back to work...


Day 9

This morning I had no new breakouts and the ones I got the previous day are looking a lot less angrier. I still feel like I look like a monster but I am exagerating- obviously. I think these message boards are really important to 1: express oneself and 2: to get useful tips and information. However, its important to realize that there is a lot of misinformation out there and bias opinions. Take my blog for example, I might think my IB is awful, when in reality it may just be the case that its minor. I was also reading about how masturbation causes acne but I'm a little skeptical on that one!!! Anyway, my skin is a lot less oily and I really like that but I still have a weird sensation on it and my lips feel tight and sunburned. Other than that no other side effects to speak of. I'm hoping to at least get through tuesday and without any major damage because those are the days when I see high volumes of people at school and work. The other days I can sit comfortable and get my work done in front of a computer and in the privacy of my own home. I hope this only lasts another week-two at the most because I hate to impose this "no leaving the house" rule on myself. I've also applied for a new job and a potentail job interview is looming over me....oh how i would hate to go and look like this.

That's it for now folks!


Day 8- the beginning of IB

The IB has definitely kicked in. I woke up with 5 more pimples. Some beneath the surface (mini cysts) some white heads and some wanna be whiteheads. I can feel a few forming in places where I dont usually get acne. parts of my face are throbbing and red. Although this could possibly be attributed to my menstrual cycle, I think it has more to do with the IB. How do I control this? Water, vitamins...I wish I could disapear for a few months and then return with beautiful skin. IB is such a cruel side-effect. Its like kicking someone when they're already down. luckily its saturday and I don't have to necessarily see anyone till tuesday! A of my friends have come in from out of town and I'd really like to see them but I just can't leave the house like this...


Day 7

Ok so today my skin is not burning that badly. But my lips are still dry. My skin wasnt as oily when I woke up this morning. Normally I'm very shiny. I broke out again on the side of my chin...it looks like it won't be so bad. Just a few small pimples that are coming to a head. Still have the leftovers from the breakout on my cheek-Im hoping it won't spread. I can feel that this isnt the worst of my IB though. Trying to stay positive but its hard been cooped up in the house when I want to be outside and social. Might go to Sephora tonigth to see if I can pick up a soothing mask. I tried one from Fresh along time ago and it was really nice but expensive. If anyone has any suggestions for masks, please let me know.



Day 6

Today my face feels and looks like I have a sunburn. Its tolerable but im feeling insecure. I have dry patches that keep flaking so makeup just makes it look worse and even the tinniest pimple leaves a gigantic red mark. My eyes are feeling drier today too, and im moisturizing my lips every half hour. The deserts got nothing on me today!

I have a wine and cheese tonight but i don't think i will go. Not in the mood to smooze with professors and students with a face that feels raw. Plus, everyone will ask why im not drinking the free alcohol. also, there will be cameras there and I do not want my picture taken at all. Looks like its another evening in the books...


Day 5 (evening)

I realize I'm posting fairly often but blogging is just so very cathartic and I need to get my thoughts down-even if no responds to these entires. Today was such an annoying day in terms of keeping my skin nice. It was rainy and very humid today (not typical weather from where im from in september) which meant my skin was doing all sorts of freaky things...sooooo much oil to control and then dry patches and redness. I had important meetings and felt very insecure not to mention my hair was all kinds of frizz! Anyway, if anyone can recommend me a good/lightweight moisturizer that would be great. Im using proactive with spf but i dont find it gets rid of the flakes. I just cant believe im only at day 5 and my skin is already shedding and im getting more pimples that quickly come to the surface. For those of you worried about bad IB, know that what im experiencing right now is manageable...I dont mind a few pimples at time....just not a whole bunch all at once! Also, im concerned about hair thining/loss. One year ago I was put on blood thinners to cure a blood clot in my leg and i was on meds for three months...my hair fell out significantly. Its finally regrown but the thought of losing it again sickens me.

Side effects: My skin is burning more and my mouth is dry and feeling numb.

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