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it's the end of april

my face is doing alright..i've been getting small whiteheads in different areas..like my chin..forehead, temples, and cheeks..generalized i guess. my back is still bad. i can't stop picking at the scabs. i've tried using BP, but i never stick with it..cuz it gets really irritated? or i wasn't patient enough? i even started getting pimples on the back of my neck..so there are some scars/scabs there..i've been doing a different hairdo to cover my neck. i also use cetaphil moisturizer on my back sometimes, but it doesn't help much because i still rip the scabs. i know i could probably let the scabs heal and fall off on its own, but i have no patience. i've got this really bad picking problem! my chest has acne too, but not as bad as the scabs on my back. anyway...one scar that really bothers me..is the indented scar on my nose. i wish it was somewhere else..like on my cheek or something. but well, it's life..it's not going to go away..trying some procedure may worsen it..so i guess leave it the heck alone. sometimes in the morning..i wake up and it's not too noticeable, but at the end of the day, you can totally see the indent..sucks, but that's just my face..need to live with it. okay, i hope the people struggling with acne are getting good results or doing better. have a good night, folks!


it's been a while

hmm..i guess my face acne isn't too bad now. it's decent. my back acne is also kinda dying down, but i keep scratching it and peeling the scabs. there are a lot of scars on my back and chest..i don't know when they will fade or when i will stop the habit of scratching it all the time. it's OCD! hmm..in terms of work..i quit one of my jobs, so i am working temporary now. hopefully i'll find a permanent job sometime in the future. i guess i'm pretty happy with just some temporary work..better than nothing.

so anyway, back to the back and chest acne...i'm too scared to wear shirts with wide collars because someone might notice my acne on my back. the worse part is if and when i get a bf, how will i let him know how bad my back is..or my chest. he's going to think..dang, that's gross and regret not hooking up with the other girl or staying with the ex-gf. i know looks aren't everything, but it matters...especially if the guy's ex-gf is some hot girl. it's not good to compare, but it happens.

well, have a good weekend everyone.


so here's my story

i finally came around to writing a blog on here after browsing this site for a couple weeks. i think it's been a couple weeks..maybe less.

well, i know since everyone that's here is suffering from acne, i should not be ashame to write about my little battle with acne. yes, like most of you, i am very ashamed of my acne. i've had mild acne since 9th grade. around 9th grade, i would have one or two pimples, but i would squeeze the heck out of them and never really let the scabs fall off on their own. i think since then i've been squeezing the heck outta all the pimples that i had. i don't think i ever really breakout much until i start squeezing my small pimples. and of course, with the irritation, it makes my face red and agitated..and not only do more pimples surface, but i make unpleasant scab lesions. i probably had two bad infected pimples from squeezing super duper small pimples (or maybe i thought they were pimples). it happened while i was in college..the first one on my cheek..i was living by myself at the time..no roommate, so i would be squeezing my pimples in the bathroom a lot. the second one..happened this past march..when my roommates were gone on spring break..around the 6th of march. i was squeezing my pimples and yeah..i'm so ashamed because people knew that i had a picking problem.

anyway, right now..i have indented scars (one on my nose and quite a few on my cheeks). i went to the dermatologist to get retin-A, but he really wants me to go on accutane or do a series of microdermabrasions. i didn't want the accutane even though i've seen such great results with my coworker because i have a hard time swallowing pills. and in terms of the microdermabrasion, it's going to cost a lot of money and i had it done once in 2003. i guess microdermabrasion might have helped in 2003 because my face cleared up after just one visit and i had a clear face for about a year or so. last week, i went to a day spa and got a facial and a mini microdermabrasion thing done. i guess it felt pretty good afterwards cuz she sand-off a few layers of skin off. it felt really nice and smooth for the first couple days with slight redness, but i don't know...i'm starting work next week and i really don't have the time to think about how to fix my face.

anyway, i know with a longer blog, no one will read all of it, but it makes me feel better that i'm writing this stuff out.

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