Its been a while, I see. My last entry was more than a month ago.
During the first week of school my acne got worse. I was okay for the first few days and so it wasn't really too much trouble meeting people and such, but by the 3rd or 4th day, the pustule on the left side of my nose had the white part in the center, and it was getting bigger, with no signs of stopping. As usual, I came home and was painfully reminded. That's one of the most terrible things about acne for me: when you wake up in the morning knowing that you have acne on your face and then go through the first part of the day very depressed. But then you start to get used to the people around you and you feel better. In that time you forget that you have several large pustules on your face. The worst part of this cycle is coming home and seeing yourself in the mirror, with the acne. And your feelings plunge back down again. That is the most horrible thing for me. It happens more days than not.
But even though in that first week both the November pustule and the February one were emerging yet again, I eventually, in a fit of frustration, popped the one on the left side under my nose. And I think that was the first time I've popped a zit the right way (or at least I hope it was the right way). I just splashed my face with water, dried it with a towel, wrapped my fingers with tissues and pushed the sides of the pustule together. And it hurt, my eyes burned and teared for a couple seconds, but suddenly some clearish/white stuff spurted out. And this, I thought, was good. I had finally accomplished something. It didn't even bleed. I just kept squeezing the sides together and more came out, much slower than the initial burst. Soon though it was starting to hurt a lot to keep this up, and there wasn't really any more ooze coming out, so I stopped. But not long after that I realized that the pustule wasn't getting smaller. Basically, it just turned from white to red, which was good, but I just expected it to have gotten smaller with all the substance coming out. I had to do this a couple more times to the same pimple. That one to the left under my nose is the most persistent. I don't think it'll ever go away really. I've had it since March 2009 and I've been battling it ever since.
It came back again the day before yesterday, for I think the 4th time since schools started (5th of Sept). I waited for it to have a reasonably large part of it turn white (because I think this is the only time you can pop a pustule like I have been doing) before I splashed it with water and pressed it together this morning. And it had the short burst, in which some clear stuff came out. I squeezed it together every couple minutes for about 15 minutes after that, but as I've learned, after the first pop, it is more painful and slow to drain it. I don't actually want to use the word 'drain' because as I said earlier, I'm somewhat disappointed in the way the pustule's size isn't reduced as much as its white color. Anyway the small part in the center where it had ruptured started oozing not so much clear stuff but blood after a while and so I stopped not long after that. Whats weird though is that the clearish/white stuff didn't seem to be coming from the same opening as the blood, as if they were being let out in different places. Whatever the case may be, it now looks like this:
[The one on the left, in the picture] seems very dry and flaky. It is roughly 3 and 1/3 centimeters and colored mostly red except for the small darker red from the blood point somewhere near the center. And by the way, I'm writing this for record purposes; I've seen it many times before.
This old pustule wouldn't be as much of a problem if another one hadn't started forming for the first time right next to it. Right in the middle. The worst part of my face for acne is below my nose. I've had 2 pustules there for more than 10 months and one on my chin. The one on my chin, November 2008, the one to the right under my nose, early December 2008, the one to the left under my nose, early March 2009. These are the 3 most awful things on my face, the 3 things I've been fighting through the months with. And now there might be a forth one. 1 on the chin. 1 on the right. One on the left. And one in the middle. Please God help me.