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Self-motivational blog to keep doing what I should :)

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Much better now!

Woah, I haven`t written in a LONG time...

Proactive helps me a lot I guess, but I think it`s a combination of factors that helps my acne. I started Proactive around the end of September, if I'm correct. It has been a bit hard on the face, but I alternate the products with my other expensive "beautician line" of products, Yon-Ka. I have a toner and moisturizer for both lines of products, and I alternate day and night (because the Proactive toner and treatment hurts my face too much when I use them together). And that whole "every two months you have to buy a new kit" thing doesn't apply: my 1st kit lasted until last week (med-february)!!

There is one more thing that has made me lose a lot of pimples. I eventually ran out of the concealer that I was using with my mineral powder, and started using ONLY the mineral powder on my face... HUGE difference, I cannot quite believe it. My breakouts have stopped from 50%.

I still have red marks though, and they're gross. I heard that only chemical peels can get rid of them, but I'm not that desperate yet...


I'm sooo much better now! Yaaay!!!


New way of life. Kinda.

Time for me to start writing again, to get some motivation going on here...

I had a not-to-bad couple of days, acne-wise, but now it's back to big breakout time, dammit! I'm considering the strange chinese mixture again... no!!! I swore I won't pay another 10 bucks-a-bag for this fungal potion ever again! Must...resist....

It seems there's always a new miracle cure at every corner. So far, I'm sticking with Proactive and see what it has to offer. The only thing I really hate is the sulfur mask, I haaaaate smelling of sulfur for hours afterwards! I also add another hydrating cream in the morning since my face gets itchy from the tonic, and pure aloe vera gel at night over the "ointments". Funny, my dad always tries to help me find cures for my acne (he's the one who brought me to the holistic dude a year and a half ago!) and he called to tell me about an add on t.v. he saw about... Proactive! Haha... Well guess what dad, that's what I'm using now!

It's very hard not to touch my face often. I seem so used to it! I also love taking my guinea pig out of her cage and on my shoulder, next to my face... wondering if that's causing breakouts?? I'm not that bad on the cheeks, though... It's my forehead and nose that are destroyed! Oh well. I drink green tea (saw on this forum that it's suppose to be good), eat more fish, eat more veggies, drink more liquids, try to eat less sweets.

And I should keep on writing this blog, as it is very self-motivational!!


It's Rudolf time again!

...and it's not even winter yet!

Well, haven't we all experienced the odd tip-of-the-nose pimple? Today and yesterday were my Rudolf days (and I'm hoping it goes away tomorrow!!).

I seem to be breaking out a lot still. Damn. I love my new makeup though! And I've been thinking about my liver... maybe I am having trouble there and that's the whole reason my skin is so sick?... I'd like help but I don't really know what to do about it just yet. I went to acupuncture and chinese medecine for that, but nothing really helped me. Aaah, liver, liver...

And I don't even drink alcohol!

But I eat spicy food, especially since my boyfriend loves it and I just tag along. I should stop that. Aaaand sugar. And salt. And I should sleep more. But I've almost stopped all caffeine (except for tea!) and I drink much more water now! :pray: So I'm not all that bad after all!


Aaah, soooo relieved am I, so relieved!!! This whole chinese medecine experience has left a bad taste in my mouth for years to come (literally)!! Tonight was the fifth and last day of my moss/branches/herbs/algae/mushrooms/seashells concoction, my good pot I used for boiling the whole thing is ruined and my stomach gargles in many ways I thought impossible until recently. Will I pursue this? Don't think so...

I'm so happy to read about treatments and getting help from people on this forum, it's incredibly motivating! I dream about vanquishing my acne, telling my success story and helping others on this message board!!

Am still using Proactive. I've heard bad stories about it by now, but I've heard good stories from an ex-colleague and, well, I'm going to trust the person I actually know. I don't have many cysts and nodules, mostly whiteheads and the occasional non-imflamatory hurts-like-hell big pimple. I've actually had those a lot lately, darn...

I'll see how it goes, and continue on improving my diet. Maybe I'm not the healthiest eater, but I incorporate healthy foods in my daily life. Today I ate a huuuuge salad full of different greens and veggies, with olive oil and balsamic vinegar as dressing. I also want to eat more fish and reduce my sugar and salt intake, owever this is sooooo difficult! I'm a real sugarbug! :pray: Wish me luck!!


Damn!! Even though I stick with the chinese medecine (only one more day!!) and the Proactive, I stopped eating healthy today. As usual, when that occurs, one seem to go on with a "what the heck!" attitude and continue eating badly. I am hoping not to fall into that trap. I'm incorporating more fruits and veggies in my diet (thanks to my guinea pig, I have plenty of them in my fridge!!). I usually walk to work but today I indulged in a half bus-ride, walking only for 15 minutes instead of the regular 45 minutes... But the most important thing for me is to learn to sleep well.

When I was flight attendant, I was used to having very little notice before a flight and being woken up by the phone merely one hour after falling asleep, going for a 10 hours trip without hardly any sleep. Those days are over. Ever since I started working a regular job (and we're talking only a few months ago!), it seems like my body is taking all it can get, frustrated by years of sleeplessness and abuse. I've also had problems with eating for years, and have unfortunately been bulimic through the years. I am happy to say these days are over, but my relationship with food is always tricky. The eating disorder came out of a lot of stress and depression I've had earlier on in my life, which might be the case why I'm the only one in my whole family to suffer from acne. It's not genetic, it's from within me, and I have to change my habits to feel better.

Years have passed, I do feel better, and I'm left wondering what more can I change to become acne-free?? It seems that this would take some stress out of my life (but acne creates stress, and stress creates some acne... vicious circle!!). Oh well, Proactiv and Chinese seem to be working ok so far, but I've read that P. system only works for an average 3 weeks, and then goes back to normal. So far I have faith, so I'll keep on trying this method!



Day three!

As I write, I am boiling the chinese fungal/herbal "medication" that will become, in an hour, the Dark Goo that I must ingest every day this week. So far, my parents provided good help and entertainment, as I call them from the other side of the country for distraction as I am gulping down the mud. Only 3 more shots and I'm stopping this, phew.

Remembers me when I did my awful crash diet against acne and nearly wrecked my whole insides, a couple years ago. I had to drink aloe vera gel, and it was one of the most unpleasant sensations. Tasted like swimming pool water, in clear goo form. Ew. But not nearly as repellent as this chinese thing...

Yesterday I went swimming and unfortunately ended up with my whole face covered in chlorine water, which left me wondering: do I start my regimen all over again after this? Should I wash my face and apply toner and cream and makeup after that? (I did). How damageable is it to wash my face more than twice a day??

Apart from that, I still have pimples, obviously. But I love my new make-up! From close though, it looks like layers of rippled paint. Oh well, I'm alive and well, and some people have way worse illness than acne, heh?!


Day two.

I woke up this morning with a greasy forehead, eww.

I guess there won't be any good effects of this before a while, time for my skin to adjust to the whole new routine. I tried drinking the "dark goo" once more when it was cold last night and failed, choking my breath away... Today, I did the same chinese herbal remedy potion and drank my concentrated cup of mud again. Yay. What have I not done in my battle against acne, I'm telling you!

My colleague whom I hadnt seen in a week told me today that my complexion looked much better, but I put that on the great new makeup and mineral foundation powder that I've bought! Still, I'm quite sure there's a whole novel written in brail between my eyebrows!

Having acne particularily sucks since I'm the only one in my family who has had this problem, so I'm alone in my little world with perfect complexions all around. I think it doesn't help that I've had eating disorders throughout my youth and still have very bad eating habits and stress. Still, I'm changing my ways slowly, but no progress on the acne field!!


  • -stop touching my face. (I already notice when I do it and make myself stop. good point).

  • -stress less, eat fresher products.

My one time goal for all my life, since over 10 years ago, is to be able to go outside the house without foundation on. For a whole day. And look radiant. I'm actually crying now. Damn!! :pray:



Over the 10 past years of my life I've had acne, scars and tralala. I've tried over the counter medecine, pills, holistic stuff, strange diets tha left me with a hurting tummy, etc... Yesterday I took some innocent pictures of myself at some festival, and looking at them oday I realised how ashamed I was of my face, still. I am getting 25 years old in a month, and I'l like to be young and pretty for once, before too many wrinkles get in the picture and wreck my face furthermore! Damn!! Well, I am being narcissic, but after all, your face is your entry to the communicating world, and my self-confidence is at an all-time low.

So I went online and found this great website! And started a blog, for self-motivation purposes. I will write here all the steps to my new regimen in detail and see if there's something I do wrong. I started taking strange chinese medication that tastes so bad it makes me want to vomit! view.php?pic=5zlbgaa

Eww... It's a huge ziploc full of herbs/branches/moss/seashells/mushrooms/nuts/seeds of all kinds, about 20 different ones. It took forever to prepare after the doctor gave me my prescription (and I can't read it and tell you the contents since it's in chinese!). Everyday I have to boil the whole thing for an hour and drink what's left after straining it. It's dark and smelly and the whole house stinks afterwards... I'm supposed to drink it twice a day but I can't do it. I finish the first one, then the second had to be 4 hours later and it's cold by then. Cold Disgusting Mushroom-Smelling Dark Goo!!!! Reminds me when I had to drink aloe vera sticky stuff as part of my crash anti-acne diet. Ah, how we suffer for acne...


Tonight is the night for Proactive. Hopefully I will see changes and everything will be perfect! After over 10 years, though, my face is so damaged it looks like old rippled paper... Oh well. I shall overcome!!! :):pray::pray::pray:

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