About this blog

The life of a 28 yr old AF momma fighting acne with Accutane

Entries in this blog

14yrstruggle

I'm 3 months in now and things are great. I just have one concern and I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this. I can't wear makeup anymore. My skin absorbs nothing. I can put on eye makeup but even after moisturizing and waiting an hour I can't put on foundation, not even pressed powder. Everytime I try it just dries up instantly and my skin starts peeling off. I feel okay going out without it, which is huge for me. But when I want to get dressed up I can't. I just can't. What's the deal? Is this normal? I don't want to rely on makeup like I did in the past but I sure would like to be able to wear it when I want to. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks!

14yrstruggle

Beware of Blepharitis

I encountered a new, very annoying, side effect of our miracle drug. Thursday afternoon I noticed my peripheral vision in my right eye was blurring. I was concerned so I called my derm and he said that if it doesn't get better then I need to see an opthamologist just to check things out. Well, the next morning I woke up and my right eye was swollen. I was capable of opening it but only about halfway. That's when I decided to visit the ER. After a comprehensive eye exam all the bad stuff such as pressure on the brain and glaucoma were ruled out. The doctor admitted to me he wasn't really sure what was going on but diagnosed blepharitis. Blepharitis is an inflammation of the eyelid which can be caused by bacteria and cosmetics. Out of curiosity I googled accutane and blepharitis. Surprise! There is a link between the two. Again, it's not something that would make me want to quit my course but it's by far the worst side effect I've experienced to this point. My eye is red and watery and the fact that it won't open all the way makes me look like a stroke victim. The only treatment for this is to put warm compresses on my eye a few times a day and clean it with baby shampoo. Ugh. I just hope this is temporary and won't last for the next 4 months. I seriously might go insane if it persists.

14yrstruggle

I've noticed that my old scars are appearing to be deeper and more noticable. I'm worried that this will be permanent. Anyone had this happen? It's weird to have the acne disappear and the skin that's left behind feel so....rough. My cheeks are smooth and feel healthy but I've never really had acne there. It's just my chin that feels like it has a bunch of tiny little potholes in it. I don't expect my scars to disappear I just didn't expect them to deepen. If anyone has experienced this please let me know how it turned out in the end. Thanks!

14yrstruggle

Wonderful derm appt this morning. Got to the parking lot super early. Back up, let me set the scene for you. As I've stated before, I'm in the Air Force. I see my dermatologist at a military hospital, a very large one. There are, at the very least, 5000 parking spots for this hospital. Yet, on this Tuesday morning at 845 am there was nowhere to park. I drove around in circles with about a dozen other cars searching and searching and....wait, I see one! ZOOOOOM I go. FUCK! Someone else got it....and here we go in circles again. This went on for a good 40 min. I'm now 5 minutes away from being late for my appointment. Here's the thing: the military has a very strict "be 15 minutes early or you're late" policy. So, technically I'm already late. And, if I'm really late (as in I'm 1 min late) I lose my appointment. So, ya, I'm panicking. No way in hell I'm losing this appointment over a flippin parking spot. Finally I see a woman walking through the lot and I decide I'm not gonna lose this one. So, I stalked her- creepily driving under 5 mph behind her all the way to her spot. Hallelujah I have a parking spot!

When I finally see my derm 40 min later (hurry up and wait!) he decides to up my dosage to 60 mg a day. I'm happy with this decision. I ask him to please inject my nasty ass cyst and make it go far far away. Which he did. But, this mother*%^&*$ cyst will not budge. It drank the poison and laughed heartily. It will not die! I don't know what to do. I've played nice. I think it's time for the gloves to come off but I don't know where to start. I'm open to any ideas. Help me battle the demon cyst from hell!

14yrstruggle

I just got back from 2 days at Corpus Christi beach. I'm super fair-skinned (in the winter I could be mistaken for albino) so I was nervous about the possiblity of a third-degree sunburn. I'm proud to say I'm sunburn free! I used Neutrogena SPF 85 on my face and Coppertone Sport SPF 75 on my body. It was a great time but I have to say Corpus Christi beach is fairly dirty and the water in the morning looked like there was oil in it. It actually turned my skin yellow in spots. Very odd. My skin is feeling good- hasn't changed much over the last couple weeks. I have my derm appt Tuesday morning so maybe I'll get an increase in dosage. Hope all is well with the rest of you in accutane land!

14yrstruggle

I love this site. I visit it probably 4 or 5 times a week and I love the fact that I can read other people's stories as well as share mine and not feel so alone. But, for those of you out there who keep putting up pictures of your "awful" and "hideous" "breakouts" that are nothing more than super-mild, garden variety, miniscule pimples- you need to stop, look around this site, and put your "horrible" skin into perspective. Yes, you might have acne, yes you might want to try something to fix it- but you sure as hell are not a candidate for accutane. Try Dan's Regimen, try proactive, try something meant for mild, non-cystic acne. If you're looking for compliments on how truly beautiful you are- keep that shit on your myspace page. It's not welcome here in the Accutane logs and galleries. You are ruining the self-esteem of people with real problems when you claim that your skin is a problem. That's worse than the skinny chick who runs around complaining about the size of her thighs. It's annoying and no one feels bad for you. You are the reason that Accutane is so tightly regulated. If I didn't think I'd get banned from this site I would be putting up comments on every one of your pictures letting you know how much of an idiot I think you are. Not only can you not string a coherent sentence together using proper spelling, you are so delusional that you think you need a powerful, potentially dangerous drug to treat the 5 whiteheads on your forehead.

I had to say it. I know there are plenty of you out there who know what I'm talking about.

As for my treatment, I'm doing well. Planning a trip to TN next week and finally not worried about how my skin will look when I get there! It's a great feeling. :cool:

14yrstruggle

Holy crap my skin is dry. I'm noticing flakiness in places I would've never thought it could happen. It's usually confined to one area of my body at a time, so I'm thankful for that. A week ago the insides of my ears were peeling. Today, it's my arms. My face is dry, but not painful and nothing that gobs of moisturizer can't cure. It's just....weird. My arms have never been dry and flaky before this. All in all, the benefits outweigh the side effects for sure. I've gotten two new pimples since I started this treatment. Pimples I can deal with- cysts I can't. The pimples have not been painful and only lasted about a week each. NO NEW CYSTS!! :cool: Just have one ginormous one that's been around going on 4 months now. Next derm visit I'm gettin that sucker injected (for the second time) and hopefully it will die and go to acne hell with the rest of the tyrants that have plagued my face for years. Hope all is going well with everyone else! Thanks for the support, it's truly uplifting!

14yrstruggle

One week down and I'm feelin the chapped lips. I tried the blue chapstick because it was recommended to me by a friend at work who just finished a 6 month course of Accutane. It worked okay but I thought I'd give aquaphor a try since everyone on here seems to rave about it. And.....ya, it's much better than chapstick, Aquaphor rocks! But, I have to constantly apply it to feel any relief. I'm sure the people at work who don't know that I'm on this medication think I've become obsessed with my lips since I carry around tubes of chapstick and aquaphor everywhere I go. It's entirely necessary, though. My back has been a little achy as well as my arm muscles but nothing that keeps me from moving or working out. I've been using emu oil as a moisturizer every morning and night so I haven't noticed any dryness other than my lips. Could be that I'm doing a good job or maybe it's just too soon and the dryness will come later. We shall see. Now it's time to study for finals!! Woot! One semester closer to my degree, 3 more to go.

14yrstruggle

So, I'm only 5 days in and at this point I have only minor side effects to report. My lips are slightly chapped but not in desperate need of any moisture yet. I have noticed that I'm extremely tired as well. No joint pain, no increase/decrease in pimples. Nothing really. On a side note, I started the P90X workout and I recommend it to anyone who wants to feel as though they got kicked in the gut by a horse and then ran over by a truck each morning. No pain, no gain right? That's all for now!

14yrstruggle

4 more days!

It has been an incredibly LONG month waiting just to be able to get this pill. I never knew how long just one month could be. I start next Tuesday and I'm hopeful, nervous, and excited. The yasmin has really controlled any new cysts from forming. However, I still have one HUGE cyst leftover and am still getting little whiteheads around my mouth. I also have red spots from where pimples used to be. I have to say my skin feels so much better these days. I'm not in much pain and I'm able to forget so long as I don't encounter a mirror. I will be posting pictures in the accutane gallery that I've started already beginning next Tuesday, the 11th and continuing through the treatment. Wish me luck!

14yrstruggle

Yasmin

I haven't started the Accutane yet, but I just wanted to say that I'm seeing a lot of improvement since starting Yasmin (again). I've been on it a month and since getting my first period on it I haven't had any pimples form. The cysts are fading and are not painful at all anymore. I guess I never realized how much of an effect yasmin was having on my complexion until I stopped taking it. I'm still going to do the 5 month course of accutane because I do want to be able to stop taking bc and not have this happen again. It sucks that I have to choose between getting pregnant or feeling good about myself. I think this is the right choice, I need to be able to be happy before I can bring another child into this world.

14yrstruggle

My acne hell

I clearly remember my first pimple. I was 8 years old and I felt the bump on my face. Not knowing that this would be the first of many I had the oddest reaction....I was so excited!!! I showed my mom and all of my friends my very first pimple. I felt that it meant I was growing up, I was getting big and after all that's all kids look forward to anyway, just getting bigger. I didn't get another until I was 12- just about the same time I got my very first period (again, what was I so excited about???)

Since then it's been a rollercoaster. High school was unbearable. My parents never thought to take me to a dermatologist. I'm sure they assumed it was normal and I'd grow out of it just like most people do. My skin hasn't been clear, not for one minute from the time I was 14 until now. I'm 28.

When I was 20 I joined the AF and while the acne never went away, I usually only had one or two cysts at a time that healed fairly quickly. I credited this to the fact that I was using Proactiv and taking birth control. At 23 I got pregnant and my skin cleared even further to the point where it didn't even bother me. Amazingly, after my daughter was born my skin remained calm, with only small manageable breakouts. I assumed that the worst was behind me and what I was dealing with was just not a big deal and I could live happily with the way my skin was. I really could have, too. I had no idea what was coming.

In March this year I became pregnant with my second child. I was so excited and was hoping for a boy. In April I miscarried. It was heartbreaking and I found myself wanting answers and wondering if it was something I did. Why did I have to lose a child when so many people who don't even want kids are getting to keep theirs? I was angry at pregnant women. What made them so special that they got to keep their baby? It was hard, but I got through it and made peace with it. I decided I would try again as soon as I got my next period.

And then.....my face exploded. 5 weeks after my miscarriage I started what has been the worst break out of my entire life. At this moment I have 6 cysts on my chin alone. I had one so large that it had to be injected with steroids so that I could open my mouth wide enough to eat without being in pain. I've had 2 anxiety attacks, both times were because I woke up and felt a new pimple had formed. I cry a lot. I don't leave my house except to go to work. I find no joy in anything. My poor husband doesn't know what to do. He tells me I'm beautiful every day and can't stand to see me suffer like this.

I just don't understand. Didn't I have enough pain? I lost a child. And to be honest, if you ask me which is worse I'd say this is worse. Miscarrying was painful, it was emotional, it was terrible. But it is a private struggle. One that you don't have to share with others. You don't have it written on your face for the world to see. You can forget. I can't forget this. I'm in pain all the time. I see my hideous reflection in everything from the microwave to the car window. I can't escape this and I can't keep it private. Everyone including people I don't know can see my struggle.

I'm in the military so my options for dermatologists are limited to military dermatologists. Luckily, after seeing a few very unhelpful doctors I've found a great one. I'm getting accutane. I start on Aug 11 and I am so hopeful that this will be it, a cure. I think it's unfair that because I'm a woman I have wait a month to get my prescription but for something with such a great success rate- I'd give almost anything.

So, that's my story. I will be putting up pictures (that I never thought I would post anywhere) as soon as I get them uploaded. I want to regularly update my progress on Accutane so that others can see what it does. I hope it works. I just want my life back- I don't need to be beautiful- I just need to not be in pain anymore.

The Acne.org Regimen
The Acne.org Regimen
Product & Treatment
Reviews
Support Forums