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ah...mother f'er...

Hi Everyone,

I know I haven't updated lately, but I've been hard at work trying to get things back to normal. I had an endoscopy which revealed some esophogitis, but nothing too major. My stomach still hurts on occasion and now my doc wants to have a ct scan. I'm waiting it out a bit as I'm not in major pain.

My skin has been perfect until 2 days ago. I got a spot on my right cheek. I think it was diet related as I tried to push it on the dairy, which I had been avoiding like the plague. So, lesson learned there. If this continues I will be so upset as I'm not too keen on another course. I don't at all think it's evil, I just am not sure that I want to go through it again right now. If anything, it will be something that will have to wait awhile.

I've been able to resume all physical activity, which is great. Sometimes I get some random pains, like in my heel, but I don't know how one would link that to accutane or age. I am almost 30 after all.

Anyway, hope all is well with all of you and I'll update as necessary. I'm going to hit the elliptical now. :D


Here's my first "real" update since stopping accutane. One month off will technically be Wednesday, but I've got people in town so I thought I'd update while I can still do it. Happy to report that everything is looking really great. My redmarks, though not completely gone, are fading nicely. My joint pains are going away, I'd say it's about 90% better. I even went to power yoga Saturday morning. I got my butt kicked! I had some wrist pain while in class, but I haven't been to class in awhile, so.... I'm still having some stomach acid problems, but I got my script switched back to nexium and I'm quite confident I'll have the same results as before. I've been taking it for close to a week and almost all of my pain is gone. My GI doc seems to think a 3 month course of that will do the trick. I hope he's right. I think he is, I've gone back to eating vegan, so there shouldn't really be too much, if anything, that will increase any inflammation that I have. I definitely do not regret taking accutane. My skin has never in my life (since being 13 or so) looked so great. It's not perfect, I had one tiny active surface since stopping accutane. I feel so great right now, it's crazy.

Have a great holiday everyone. I know I'm looking forward to Christmas! I can't wait to spend the time with my little family.


I had to go to the derm today because I have a crazy itchy rash all over my torso, it is the same rash I had when I was pregnant with my son. Pityriasis Rosea. It is not as itchy as it was when I was pregnant, but it's more widespread. It's on my neck, my chest, my stomach, my sides.. Ugh. I have the worst skin ever. I guess you should only get this once in your life, but I am very lucky to have gotten it twice. I guess that accutane may cause this rash- I'm not blaming it on accutane b/c I've already had it. I hope this is a freak 2nd occurance and it never comes back! It is seriously horrible. I hate my skin... Ugh.

Luckily, my acne is still gone! Whoot! I was so happy looking in the mirror last night at my face. It's really unbelievable.


All Done!

I took my last pill yesterday morning. What a weird feeling! It's a strange mix of anxiety and excitement. My skin looked great yesterday, so I'm really hoping nothing crazy happens in the next few weeks. I really want to at least make it through the holidays. I'm going to wait until all of my side effects are gone before I get back into the gym. I think I'll gradually up my activity level until I'm back to 5-6 days/ week. I can't wait!

My next update will be in about 2 weeks after I visit my derm. I'll keep updating after that with my post-accutane regimen and progress.

Thanks for all of the support during my course everyone!! :D


One week left!!!

My face is looking really good today, at least so I thought as I was driving to work. I even thought that my red marks were not looking so bad when I woke up. This is not quite the perfection that I expected heading into this journey, but it's a freaking heck of a lot better. I actually feel pretty good about my skin when I have makeup on and I can't remember feeling like that. I hope that my derm is right about improvements continuing after the course is over. I've got exactly 7 days of pills left. Whoo hoo! :D

I can't wait to get back into my gym routine and lose these last 5-10 lbs that I'd like to get rid of. 10 is really what I should lose, but I won't be mad if it's 5. I definitely would love to lose any amount by the summer and make my goal before DH and I TTC #2. It's not that I'm fat, I'm actually at a healthy BMI, I just don't feel good. I can't fit into my clothes and I feel lethargic and depressed. Being able to maintain a healthy lifestyle is super important to me and I can't wait to recommit to that part of my life. I've already planned 3 vegetarian dinners for this week and we'll be upping that to 6 per week in the next few months. I used to eat just one serving of meat per week before I married DH and the eating has gradually slid into a pattern that I'm not too happy with.

I'm taking a PPI (a generic- pantoprazole sodium) for my stomach and that seems to be working decently although not completely as of yet. I remember that the nexium took a couple of weeks to fully kick in, so I'll wait just as long for this new drug to work it's magic. And if it doesn't I'll cry. My dairy problem seems to be just hit or miss lately, though I know dairy and acne can be related, so I'll continue to monitor my intake there.

I'll update at the end of my course and after.


ummm...say what now?

So I just came back from my month 6 appointment. My derm looks at me and says "You don't need this last month." After which I reply "Well I did have some breakouts this last month (4 small spots) are you sure that I can stop now?" The appointment ended with me leaving with no script in hand. I have 2 weeks of meds left from when I took a half-time break, so I'm to finish that. I'm supposed to keep my 2 remaining appointments so that we can get a topical regimen going. I feel really strange about stopping now. I thought that I would be going for this last month. I swear if I start really breaking out again, I will freak out. I don't feel all that great about this. On the one hand, I'm glad that she thinks that I'm doing well enough to be done, but on the other hand this is a deviation from the original plan. I guess I shouldn't stress out about it. It'll be okay. I'm just going to remain focused on the improvements that I've seen, which have been great.


check in...

I don't know what week it is, all I know is that I went to get my blood work drawn today. This is the first time I've truthfully fasted the entire amount of time before getting my blood drawn. I just want to see what kind of difference it makes. I had a lovely conversation with the tech at the lab concerning the current state of Cleveland football. These conversations usually end with the person feeling bad for me, the fan of a bunch of losers. Oh well, one day we will rise again..maybe..

The active on my cheek last time I wrote was joined by one on my jawline on the same side of my face. Really lovely. I think they're both gone now, just left with the redmarks. I'm hoping this last month will do me in. I've really got about 6 weeks left of pills to take with the time off that I've taken trying to figure out my stomach issues.

Everything else is going well. I've got 3 performances scheduled for the holiday season so far, I'm sure I'll add 1 or 2 more before it's all said and done. I love playing, so this is great! Now, I just have to practice and it'll be all good.


Uuuugh! Will it ever end? Yesterday, I thought I felt a little something popping up on my cheek and sure enough this morning there's a tiny spot. It's not bad, but it's there. I think it will be gone by tomorrow, it's so little. But it's red and inflammed. That's enough to make me angry. Everything else is going well. No real pain other than the expected and usual stiffness.

We're going trick or treating at the zoo tonight! I'm so excited! The little one is going to be a dinosaur. We got hit hard by a snow storm, so I'll be going to buy some snow pants for him to wear under his costume. I think new boots are in order too. This is going to be an expensive day. I'm a little bit of a shoe snob, so those boots will cost me. (I'm also cheap, so when I spend $50 on shoes for a 1 year old, it irritates me, but quality over quantity...)

The trip home was awesome, we had such a great time. The fall leaves were ridiculously beautiful. Being out here, where there aren't so many leaves, has really made me appreciate the beauty of the fall colors. I wish I would've appreciated it more when I lived there. Funny, right? You know, when we moved out here, I was really awestuck by some of the views. I mean we've seen some spectacular things. When I went home, I was awestruck by what I saw there. I didn't go anywhere that I hadn't been before, but it just seemed so much more beautiful to me than it ever had. It's a great reminder that we are all just tiny players in this universe...


Anyone know where that's from? I am going on a trip back east to see family and friends! I should be packing right now, since I leave in the morning and have yet to pack. I'm taking my son, so I really shouldn't be procrastinating- kids need a lot of things!

So the update on my skin and everything else is pretty uneventful. My skin looks great, no actives to speak of. I think I may have had one last week or it was just a red spot that is trying to heal. It wasn't inflammed or anything, just red. But right before the majority of the redness went away, it sort of looked like a little spot that was coming to a head, but not inflammed. Weird, right? The nexium is doing it's job which is beyone fabulous to me. I am now confident that I'll be able to finish.

On the other hand, holy smokes, does my back hurt! It is just stiff. I don't need any pain meds yet, but it's getting border line. I'm going to try to tough it out. I did run 4.5 miles this morning. 3.25 on an elliptical and the rest on the sidewalk. Maybe that's contributing to the back. I felt really energized though, so it was worth it.

Well, I'll be back at the end of next week. Maybe I'll catch you then. :)


not sleeping

Ugh! Why is it that I can't sleep longer than 6 hours anymore?? My back and hips hurt so bad that that is the max time that I can spend in bed. I keep tossing and turning and every side, every position hurts. It's okay though, I actually function pretty well on limited sleep. That is unless of course it's 2 hours at a time (like when DS was born), then I lose it. I have to have consolidated sleep, but 7 hours is usually good for me.

On other notes, today I have an ultrasound as a followup test for the gi doc. I really don't think we'll find anything, and that's good. But, I've had to fast since last night and I am getting hungry. On Dr. Oz (usually I'm not home at this time, but I saw a tiny bit yesterday) there was a lady with food addiction, sometimes I feel like that. Granted, I did not see the whole story and I'm sure that her problem is pretty severe. But, I do love food. Luckily I tend to like healthy things the best, but I do think I eat way too much. Might be why I seemed to have gained weight while not being able to work out as strenuously as pre-accutane. Hmmm..

My going dairy free seems to be helping my stomach quite a bit. I'm having a bit of a challenge in finding kid friendly, vegan dishes to make and frankly I've been caving quite a bit lately. Once this course is over I will get serious. I hope it will have a positive impact on my skin as well.

I've also decided to stop the bcp. I can't take it. I hate the pill so much. Luckily DH completely understands how horrible pregnancy would be and how much I hate the pill. So, while he's not totally on board, he knows where I'm coming from. I'll have to be creative for now and after I'm done, I'll have to make it up to him. Right now, he's just convinced that I don't like sex. He's not seeing that I feel horrible, my body hurts and I'm gaining weight. Bad skin + limited physical activity + physical pain and stiffness= low self esteem which = low libido. I definitely wouldn't blame accutane on this, it is without a doubt the result of a combination of other factors. Hopefully getting the skin under control will allow me to work on the other problems after the course and I'll be back to my previous state.

Wow, not sleeping has made me talkative. I have to leave in 10 minutes for my appt, so peace out everyone.



Okay, it's been about 2 weeks since I last checked in. I'm doing great. Derm appointment is tomorrow, GI appt. is in a few weeks. The only spot I have to speak of looks like a clogged pore on my forehead is a little irritated or something. I've been taking all of my meds. The nexium helps, but it is not a cure all. But, I have found that if my stomach hurts a little later in the day, tums will take care of it. How about that? I'm not talking about any kind of severe pain, just consistent pain. So, I'm hoping that my GI doc can just increase my dose of nexium and that will take care of it. I have a abdominal ultrasound on Friday, just to make sure it isn't a gallbladder problem. I don't think it is since the meds are working fairly well. Hmmm, I'm wondering if I should cancel the ultrasound. Probably not. I just don't want to spend the money on it. My DH is having some work done at the dentist and that bill is going to be around $800, factor in car repairs that he needs and you're talking about a few grand here. I really wish I could've taken this medicine when I was younger and on my parents insurance. It would be nice for someone else to cover the bills!! :)

Work is going great. I really like my new students. I think class today was a little too challenging for them though! They seemed to be overwhelmed when they left. Hmmm, I'll have to ease up a bit. Wouldn't want them to quit on me or anything like that! I think that, like typical middle school students, they don't want to be challenged. Oh well, they'll get used to it.

My son has started to say "banana" correctly! For months now, he has called them "bada". It was really cool to hear him say it the right way, but also a little sad. He's growing up. It is better than the alternative of course, but I've really loved having this tiny little guy run around the house. He's so precious to me.

That's all for now, hope everyone is doing well!



Well, my wildest dreams came true! My GI said that he thinks that I just have some sort of acid thing going on, could be an ulcer, could be esophogeal inflammation, could be something else entirely. I have to do a bunch of testing to be sure (blood work, ultrasound, possible endoscopy), but the good news is that I was prescribed some nexium and told to continue on my course! Whoo Hoo!!! :) He said he definitely doesn't think I have anything crazy like IBD and felt totally comfortable with me continuing my course. So, of course, I came home, made some pasta for a friend and her daughters and downed my Claravis with a healthy dose of water. I am concerned about the timing of all of the drugs though. The GI told me to take my pill 30 minutes before breakfast. I usually take my claravis with breakfast. I think it would probably be okay to continue to do that, but I'll call my derm to be sure. And the other good thing is that if the nexium works, I won't have to do the endoscopy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for sure. I hope this is the last problem that I have. I can't take all the stress!


I am totally freaked out about my appointment today. The internet is definitely making it worse. And the fact that my husband isn't around is also very upsetting. Plus, he was so excited about how much fun he had last night and I just wanted to tell him about how scared I am, but I couldn't get a word in. I feel super depressed today. And on top of it all, I woke up with a new active. It's not super big, but it's not teeny tiny like that last one. It's red. I wish I could call into work sick. I just feel like crying. But I can't. I have to go to work and teach these kids. At least I don't have a choice. It's kind of good. I'll be forced to think about something else. If I stayed home, I wouldn't be any good anyway. My son wouldn't get the attention that he deserves, my house wouldn't get any cleaner. I'm normally not the type of person to get depressed. I've gained about 15 lbs since starting this drug, I might have a serious stomach problem, I can't eat what I want to eat. And, my skin isn't clear. Awesome. This f-ing sucks. I'll likely have to stop my course without clear skin.

You know what? Despite these occurances, I'm not against accutane at all. Almost everyone who takes it has a positive experience. I don't know what my problem is. There's also the chance that the gi doc will say it's something unrelated and I'll be able to finish.

Maybe I need to adopt nikkia's philosophy of accepting things as they are. I will never have clear skin like a "normal" person. I won't be able to go to the gym, the store, school, etc without makeup. That's okay. I should just accept it. Clear skin is not the most important thing in life. My family is number 1. My beautiful little boy is the most important thing in the world to me, so I need to get happy so that I can be the mom that I used to be. I can go back to eating healthy and working out. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and move on.

Alright, have to get the kid off to the babysitters. Thanks for letting me vent if you actually read this pathetic post full of self pity...


Oh bugger...

It seems as though tomorrow I get to go to the g.i. doc. How exciting. I'm really hoping that he just tells me that I'm lactose intolerant and I have an ulcer. Or something else that won't interfere with me finishing this course! Maybe even something like "Oh no, you're just crazy" I'll take mental instability over not being able to finish! My derm wants me to go to the gi just to be sure that nothing funny is happening since I've had so many stomach issues.

My skin looks really pretty good right now though. I had one teeny, tiny active on my left cheek that is healing up right now. Luckily it wasn't too bad. I still have clogged pores and maybe some little closed comedones or something in between my eyebrows. I'll take it, at least they're not red and inflammed! My redmarks are fading somewhat and that's great.

Work is going great! My kids are all pretty good and behave pretty well for 6th graders. It is hard to get them to do really detailed work, but I guess as long as they're playing.. And I don't like to spend too much time on one thing or they'll totally burn out.

Husband is out of town for work again! Funny how when they hired him 8 months ago, they told him he'd rarely travel. This is his 4th trip. I know it's not as much as say, a sales person. But it seems to be a lot for an r&d guy. And, if they offer him a permanent position, he'll be gone even more! He was really lucky to get this job, we feel so blessed. I hope he gets to stay here, but I miss him when he's gone.


First day off of school...

What did I decide to do?? Go into school, of course. I took my son with me and we got some things done in the classroom, ran over to another school and picked up some things and sent some emails begging other teachers for some things. Nice. Spent my whole morning working when I should have spent it watching "Go Diego Go" or playing with the Mega Blocks. To make it up to my son, we went to the park for lunch with my husband. Kidnapped him from work. :cool:

So, my face is looking pretty much the same as before. Just red marks and scars, no actives. The Claravis seems to be working out just as well as the Sotret and it doesn't seem to be causing any other problems. The tip from my derm about taking some Tums in the middle of the day seems to be helping a little bit. Occasionally my stomach will feel like it did before, but it's not happening as often. I am still gassy every night though. My derm called yesterday just to see if everything is going okay. That was nice of her. She's a very good derm. So hopefully I won't have anymore problems. But if I do, I know she'll help me out and refer me to a good GI doc.

It appears that I have pulled a muscle in my ankle during power yoga. I'm willing to bet that it was when I flipped my toes to go from chataranga into up dog. Something felt funny one of the times I did that. Ugh. Well, I'm hoping it will heal up in time for me to go to class tomorrow, since I spent all morning at work instead of at yoga today.

That's all for now. :turtle:


What's up everyone??

Yesterday I had my Meet and Greet at school. I had a smaller turnout than expected and of course it's all the parents that are supportive anyway. It went well though and everyone was nice. I could already see the personalities that I'll be dealing with here. There's the kiss up parents, who was nod and smile at everything I had to say. The parents that were way to busy to be there, but came anyway. The parents who want to make sure that I know every detail of their child's life up to this point. The over achieving children who asked if they could come to the other class during the week, just to play more; the children who didn't care about meeting me at all and from whom I was stealing time away from their wii; the over excited children who just love band (these are the ones I should love, but they usually tend to annoy me...) and tell me just how far they got in their book last year. Oh and the parents who somehow think that I'm responsible for the budget cuts and schedule changes or they feel bad for me for having such a sad, crummy job. (little do they know that this job is the perfect fit for me right now) Ah well, it will be an interesting year. We'll see what happens. Has anyone ever read the book "'Tis"? That is a great book about teaching.

Today was my derm appointment. It went pretty well. My blood tests were all good and my derm wants me to stay the course at my current dose. I asked about lowering it and she told me that she really thinks that it's better to stay where I am so that I can get off of it asap. But, she is concerned about my stomach and such and told me that if I notice anything worsening, to just stop and she will refer me to a G.I. doc. Great. So please send many well wishes, prayers or whatever it is that you do for me to be able to finish my course safely! I really want to stay on as my skin has never looked this good ever, excluding of course all the red marks. I still have some blocked pores on my nose, cheeks and forehead, they're not blackheads or anything like that.

I'm taking a new approach at the gym. I'm not going everyday now, since I've noticed how much better my body feels lately. I'm only going to go after the soreness is gone, which is seeming to be about 3 times a week. So I'll get in one power yoga, one yoga sculpt and one spin class every week. Maybe I'll do pilates, maybe not. Like my husband says, I can concentrate on weight loss after my course is over, but I can't get a new stomach, new joints or new bones. (see, that ph.d he has is worth something!)

The next few days I'm going to spend hanging out with my son, since school starts on Monday for me. And I'll be gathering some supplies for my classes.

Thanks for all of the support everyone! :cool:


Doing better!

Today is about day 4 or 5 of my week long break and I'm starting to feel better. But, I did get a tiny whitehead near my chin. This is my inactive week of birth control though so that might be it. I've also got some pain in my eye, which I think I caused when I wore contacts to yoga yesterday. I've been taking a break from the gym which I think has also been helpful. My chest muscle that I pulled has nearly healed (until yoga yesterday when we did about a million sun salutations), and my knee is no longer hurting.

When I go back on, I'm thinking of asking to lower my dose a little bit. Like maybe take 1 pill or 2 pills on alternate days. It's not much of a decrease, but might be enough to alleviate some of these side effects. I really want to be able to finish my course, but if I start to bleed again I don't know if that will be a possibility. Or, I might try to go to a different pharmacy that doesn't carry sotret and see if that helps. Maybe a different brand might be a little better on my stomach, I don't know.

I have a meet and greet night next Wednesday with my new students and their parents. I am getting super nervous. I feel like it's not planned out well enough. I think I've been out of the game for a little too long. And my collegues are not super cooperative either. They're mad about the situation in our district and to get them to try to make the best of it is not easy. Ugh. So, looks like I'm on my own. Great. I think I'll buy some cookies and juice for the meet and greet to win over the kiddos before we start class. :cool:



So I haven't updated in about 2 1/2 weeks. I've been busy, we had family in town, which was great. My little boy now misses his papa so much it's breaking my heart. He's been crying "paaapaaa". :turtle:***

I'm currently on a one week break from accutane. I was having some bleeding from a place where you shouldn't bleed if you catch my drift. I went to my pcp who said that she thought it was okay, just some dryness and irritation. My derm called and said that she wanted me to take a little break, soooo I'm on vacation! I'm hoping that everything will be okay. I think I didn't do the best job keeping up on my water intake while we had visitors. We were non stop busy, hiking, visiting touristy places, etc..

Otherwise, my skin looks pretty good! No really big actives, just a couple that are healing up. I hope it stays calm for my first day of school in 12 days. :cool: That's it for now, I'll update soon.


I've been on Sotret for 63 days. That is a long time! On the other hand, it's only about a third of the way through. I was so depressed yesterday after I looked at my pictures that I took. DH told me not to be angry until after the course is done. He's right, but it's so difficult. Especially when you feel all these side effects and feel like something should be working. I'm finding it harder to stay the course now. I'm really hoping to see some big changes soon.

I've got my contract signing in a few hours for my teaching job. I've still got to get in the shower and find some non-mom clothes to wear. I think that's going to stress me out for sure. I picked up another copy of my favorite book, "Eat to Live". If you've been over to the nutritional board, there is a lot of talk about this book. I read it for the first time about 4 years ago and it changed my life. I was overweight, had allergies, awful skin (of course) and remember feeling just awful most of the time. Tired, crabby, frequent severe headaches etc. A friend of mine lent me his hard back copy, so it didn't have all the mumbo-jumbo about weight loss on the cover. I just thought it was a nutritional book. I read it, put the main principles to work in my diet, increased my exercise and lost anywhere from 30-40 lbs. I don't know exactly how much I weighed because I've never owned a scale. I went from a size 10-12 to a 0-2. Admittedly, that might be a little too small for my body, but I will say that I never felt better. I had no more allergy problems, no more headaches and I had a lot of energy. I remember tiring out DH (then fiance) and him saying "do you ever stop?". It was really miraculous. I bought the book for friends, family, anyone who would listen. I even gave my personal copy away to someone that I thought would really benefit if they took the advice to heart. Fast forward, I still follow a lot of these principles, but I find myself falling off of the wagon a lot more often now. I think having a little boy is a big part of it. Cleaning out the blender is just too much work now as is buying all of that fresh produce. I know I still eat a lot better than the majority of people out there, I'm just hoping that by re-reading the book I will find the motivation and passion that I once had.

Today I did not go to the gym. I had to go sushi supply shopping for my sushi party Saturday. I feel more stiff and tired than I've felt in a long time. I am positive that staying active is a huge part of my making it through this course. I know that a lot of people say that they find that not exercising helps them, but I'm finding the opposite to be true for me. Tomorrow is a hiking day for us, so no gym then either. Hopefully a nice 3-4 mile hike will be enough.

Well, I'm off to hop in the shower before the little one wakes up. Til next time!


I took some pictures this morning and put them in my album on here to compare with ones that I took about 3 weeks ago. I seriously think the ones 3 weeks ago look better than todays. I think that I'm mainly left with red marks right now, but seriously my skin looks like it is in rough shape. I'm really hoping for a miracle during month 3 because right now, I'm beginning to doubt that this is all worth it. Ugh.

I am quite sure that my makeup is going a little easier now since there's less actives. But I'm still doing just as much work covering up all the redmarks. Does anyone have a redmark cure? I'll try to have some patience until my course is over. I'm sure some topical retinoids would help.


This is not a gripe on my derm. She's a very qualified, fellowship trained, board certified derm. I like her very much, she's the first derm I've ever had that hasn't run me through a whole bunch of junk and treated me like a guinea pig. I trust her opinions *almost* completely.

Her office is sooo unorganized. First there was this whole thing with them forgetting to put my first blood tests in the ipledge system. Then, the practice manager called me to make it right and said that the practice would pick up the bill for my following labs and appointment. They never did it, I got the bills. I called when I got those bills and the same woman told me that she would have the insurance delete the claims and never did it. Then, today, at my 3 month appointment, the new assistant (I think the lady that messed everything up to begin with is gone) tells me "So, you're starting your 5th month today?". I told him that in fact, I am starting my 3rd month. To which he tells me that someone must have wrote it down incorrectly because my chart says that I've done 5 months. Ugh!!

How can I trust that these people are even going over the test results if they can't even write things down correctly?? I think I'm going to be calling the practice manager every day this week until I get some solid answers. I really don't think it's the fault of the dr., I think she just has incompetant staff, which is insane because the other doc in the practice is very highly sought after. He's like some sort of rock star out here or something, I don't know.

Well, other than that, I had a great appointment today. Things are really starting to clear up and I'm not having any major problems! Whoo hoo! Now, as long as I don't have to find a new derm to finish out this course, I'll be doing good.


I had New Teacher Orientation for my new school district a couple of days ago and my makeup looked pretty darn good when I checked it out in the high school bathroom. It's not perfect by any means, but it is much, much better. I still have some actives and I have plenty of redmarks, plus scars, but isotretinoin won't do anything for that anyway. No need stressing over something that can't be fixed right now.

I've been substituting some of my yoga with more joint friendly exercise. I've been doing a lot of spinning and also just running on the elliptical since that's nicer on the joints than the treadmill. The other day, I ran 5.7 miles. Whoo hoo!

I went and had my blood drawn today by a lady who wasn't as good as the other people at the Labcorp that I go to. Ugh. She poked me, moved the needle around and decided she needed to find a better location. So now I have two cotton ball/ gauze things on my arm. Seriously, I have not ever had anyone that wasn't able to find a vein before. It'll be okay, it's all for the greater good! My derm appt. is bright and early on Monday morning, so I hope everything comes back okay.

Good Stuff

8 weeks are done, on to week 9. So that's the official start of month 3! I have definitely noticed improvements in the last week. It's getting easier and easier to cover everything up with makeup. I can't wait to apply makeup just to feel prettier.

No major aches or pains, just still having the same general stiffness. I really need to keep up with my water intake though. I think that it makes a huge difference in how I feel.

Bad Stuff

Nothing really! I had some heartburn last night, but I'm almost positive it was because I didn't drink enough water. It did go away after I took some Tums, so that's good.

All is good! I'm just excited to keep this ball rolling. :cool:


It's the end of week 7! :cool: 2 months almost done, here I come month 3! Non acne related, things have been a little crazy. Some person broke into my car that was parked in the garage and stole my gps and my garage door opener. Awesome, right? I swear, it's very obvious by the contents of my car that I'm a mom and a teacher. (I had some teaching manuals in the back seat that I got out of our storage unit and various other teaching supplies in the car) Ugh! What a jerk.

I have a hair appointment tonight, which I kind of don't want to go to. I hate trying new places and I don't have high hopes for this place. I called last night for an appointment and I got in for today. That's usually not a great sign. And it's pretty expensive. My cut is going to be $45 and the color $55. It's not super expensive if they do a good job, but if it does not look spectacular I'm going to be super angry.

I went to spinning for the first time this morning, just to switch things up a bit. I thought that spinning might be nicer on the joints than yoga. It was really fun. And a good workout. I think I'll keep adding some of this to my regular routine. Usually for cardio I just hop on an elliptical or a treadmill for a few miles. I think this is better since the instructor really challenges you. I'm going to make my husband go on Sunday with me. Haha! He'll love it. Alright, onto the good stuff...

the good stuff

Ummm, let's see. I thought that I was doing really well, but then I got a few whiteheads this week. I will say that when I have full makeup on, you can only see a handful of actives now, there's a definite reduction from last week. And there were a few days this week where I thought that the red spots were fading a bit too. I'm not sure that that's really the case though. I may have just been having a good face day.

The tums is definitely working. Last night, I had a little bit of heartburn. I'm almost positive it was from not drinking enough water combined with laying down too soon after I ate. So, I'm going to pay very close attention to my water intake here on out.

the bad stuff

The whiteheads that I got made me angry. But they're going down quickly. Let's just hope nothing else crops up to take their place.

Water is your friend. I've also found that when I don't drink enough water, I get much more stiff. I've not been in enough pain to take any medication, but I can tell that my body is more sensitive to being properly hydrated.

That's all for now! I really think that I'm sailing right along now. Only 1 1/2 more weeks until my next derm visit. I'm ready to go!


Yippee, I've made it through another week!!! :D

the good stuff

I'm feeling pretty good about my skin these days! I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror at Target (darn flourescent lights..) and didn't feel like crying!! Most of my larger spots are going down. I could still see some actives under my makeup, but it really wasn't that bad. I wouldn't go out anywhere without makeup, but to be able to cover things is a vast improvement.

My head hasn't been itchy in a long time, thank goodness. I think my body just had to adjust a little bit. I may not have to invest in different hair products. At least not yet anyway!

the bad stuff

Anyone having heartburn?? I think I'm going to call the dr. because every night for the last couple of weeks I've been having heartburn. I'm wondering if I need to decrease my dose a little bit. It's not unreasonably high, but it is on the higher side for my weight. Or maybe this will just pass.

Still having a little knee pain, but it's definitely tolerable, I don't even need to take anything for it. And the back is a little stiff.

Well, that's about everything for this week. All in all, it's pretty good. :cool: Til next time!


big step...

So I took a picture, sans makeup, this morning. It was a little cathartic to take the picture. And it actually made me feel better about taking accutane. I started a little album in the gallery, but it's private for now. I don't think I'm ready to share with the world. Maybe at the end. My derm has the only existing pic of me with no makeup prior to starting my course. It will likely never be shared. In fact, it'll probably be destroyed if I ever get my hands on it!

My pulled chest muscle is not healing quickly, though I haven't been resting it. I do think I'll take a day off at the gym tomorrow and Thursday to try to heal a bit. Maybe I'll just do some cardio on Thursday, that shouldn't bother me.

Off to rest a bit before my little monkey wakes up!

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