Before anyone starts trying to tell me that my acne isn't that bad, and that I'm beautiful and crap like that I need to explain that my problem is very deeply emotional and psychological.
I've been dealing with heavy acne for a very long time, and I have realized that it's getting better but I just want it to go away.
I'm very self-conscious, and insecure about it. Because I have been made fun of, and people have noticed my acne before so I feel like everyone can see it.
I really do think my skin is absolutely ugly, I do not believe people when they tell me I'm beautiful and that I have nothing to worry about. Not because I want more attention for it, but because I truly, honestly do not believe that I could ever be beautiful with skin like this. It is so deeply burned into my brain that my brain constantly tells me that it's a lie when people tell me so, and I actually get quite frustrated and angry (although I don't show it cause I know it would be impolite when someone is trying to pay me a compliment) because I just feel like they're lying to me.
I want to believe I'm beautiful though. I want to really feel beautiful, especially for my prom and be able to believe it when my boyfriend tells me so.
I wear so much cover up, I think it just makes me feel worse, but if I don't I just feel really, really horribly ugly and naked and like everyone can see the acne and the scarring and everything.
Never a day in my life have I not stressed out about my acne, and deeply wished I had beautiful skin.
So I thought I would just clear that up, that please don't leave a heap load of comments telling me that it's not that bad and that I shouldn't even be complaining because theirs is worse or something. I understand that, my problem really is just simply emotionally and in my mind.
Thankyou for reading.
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