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The perspective of a person with acne.

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I wake up in the mourning and i dont have a first thought of, I am going to have a fresh start to a brand new day, instead im thinking,"I REALLY hope my skin is presentable today" I then make my way to a mirror, as I am I am still thinking "Hofefully my skin will look better today than it did yesterday, or even maybe magically the gods of beautiful skin have finally put me on their membership and blessed me with flawless unblemished skin.I than have the courage to turn on that light and look myself in the mirror, and all my dreams are crushed, all my confidence is deflatted, and my day is ruined before it's officially started.I than take a longer look and try to figure out who is this person infront of me? Ive have done some incredible things in the past, and I have so much to offer this world, why am I suffering from this tarnished outter appearance, cause deep down inside i am as loving, caring, and attractive but can only think of what is ahead of me when I am discussed of the thought of having this kind of first impression to someone out there who will only remember me for being that person with acne. So I than reluctantly put on my mourning skin regimen thinking it hasn't consistently worked yet why should I continue.I than go back to my room and get ready and put some clothes on to go out,As i get one more look in the mirror b4 i head out I panic and decide.... maybe Ill just stay in today. So I than hurry back to my room get back into comfortable clothes and start to watch tv. My dad is already off to work and stays at work for the whole day and I mean sometimes makes it back home 11pm-12am and part of me doesnt blame him cause i barely spend time with him when he is around because of my own shame and lack of self-confidence and he probly has better relationships with ppl he works with.So I than realize my step-mom is home, and usually is but in her office,so I then discreetly rush to the kitchen try to hurry up and fix whatever bowl of cereal, just anything quick so she wont come in the same time im in there so I wont have to confront her ackwardly.I then remember b4 i dash to my room to grab whatever snacks I possibly can that will last me the day.So Lonely and secluded, and continue to watch tv, play video games, and check the computer,but ive come so anti-social of my own shame there almost no use of having to check my myspace or any other social networks.So i continue this deadly cycle of self destruction wondering how, or when will my acne problems be solved,ive tried almost everything but still only have the comfort of my small room, and found my only pleasure is privacy.

If you think you relate,concerns, encouragement,anything...fill free to comment on this blog,hope to hear from you!!

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