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A social butterfly's journey with Claravis...

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Sweet Cheeks

Hello kiddies! I'm baaaaaaack...and not because I wanted to be. I took a cycle of Clarivis for 5 months and thought the coast was clear. WRONG! It is now 8 months later and my acne is back with a vengeance. Now every zit I grow is cystic and painful and in a group or 1 side of my face all at a time. My self esteem is @ an all time low. I feel like everyone looks at me and feels disgusted. I've seen people with worse skin, but since its me I feel like its bad enough. I don't always want 2 be the girl with acne, its who I've been my whole life so far.

I went back to my derm in a desperate attempt 2 get on accutane again, she refused since I had tremendous hair loss while on treatment. She even brought in another Derm to convince me that sometimes when people take accutane and they break out again, treatments that didn't work b4 accutane will all of a sudden work. I've been on Minocycline for 2 weeks and haven't noticed much of a difference. Topically I'm using Proactiv and have been doing so for about 1 1/2 month. Only now my pimples r growing in groups together and I have 5 fuckin pimples in a row on my cheek below my right eye. There's 2 more going down my cheek. On my left side I have 2 actives on my chin and a cyst on my neck. I will be blogging weekly 2 track my progress. Please pray for me, I need clear skin. I'm too old for this shit!

Sweet Cheeks

*quick update*

Ok, so I've had a whitehead since I stopped taking the accutane, and yesterday it turned into a pustule! Right next to my nose! I'm hating this!!! My last period pimple is still healing...I'm not sure if this is abad sign? Maybe I'll see the full results of accutane by my birthday since its still in my system. I need to get that poison out!!!

Sweet Cheeks

Its been almost 1 month since I stopped taking Claravis. I stopped about a week and a half earlier than I was supposed to since my hair was falling out waaaaay too much. I don't think a week is going to make much of a difference. I have about 2 months worth left over anyway so I'll take the remaining amount if anything comes up...which I highly doubt.

My skin no longer looks shiny and plastic! It also is very matte and stays that way all day! Its weird, its like my skin looked worse on Claravis and now looks better...and it's improving every day! The scars are fading and the texture looks way better. I thought I would have opposite results, but I'm glad to see the true results are coming out now. And it'll only keep getting better =)

My hair is still falling out, but not as bad as it was before. My derm said it takes up to 1 month to go back to normal-and new hair is supposed to grow in. Well I have 1 more week to complete my month, hopefully its true!

Everythings going great, I'm so grateful for the opportunity to even share my story and for it to be a positive one =) My confidence has def gone waaaaay up. Its crazy how my acne was taking over my life and keeping me cooped up in my room. As a 25 year old that should've been experiencing the world, that was devastating. I know I could've had a way better job, probably had better relationships if I would've taken the Accutane sooner. I'm just glad that I could've taken it now. I thank God for the blessing...I'll update next month. I haven't forgotten about u acne.org! You were there for me when I was at my lowest so I owe it to u when I'm at my peak to keep you updated...

Sweet Cheeks

So for my 5th and last month, I will be taking 60mg since I was experiencing waaaaay too much hairloss while I was on 80mg. I don't know why my skin gets slightly oily, maybe 'cause it's hot and humid outside...I don't know. I grew 1 huge swollen zit Sunday morning. It was sooo weird because I had no signs of it, then I woke up with a big red blotchy swollen bump. Its actually almost completely gone today! I called out of work because I went to bed at 5am! I've just been sleeping all day, I haven't even seen the light of day.

Hair loss is back to normal, I have a significant amount of less hair. Luckily I have a LOT of hair so I still look normal. My skin looks better, still have scars but I noticed when I drink lots of water and get a good amount of sleep, my skin actually looks better. I'm definitely going to have to try to keep up with that! I've missed a couple pills so I'm about a week behind. I guess I technically have a month and a week. Things are good, I'm going to Miami for my birthday! I already bought my plane ticket! I'm excited for that =)

Sweet Cheeks

Although my face looks a whole lot better than before, I'm still experiencing breakouts. I actually have my first neck pimple. Its directly on my adams apple and its huge! I don't even want to speak with my head up. I just grew one zit overnight on my chin and have a small one on my cheek. I have little whiteheads scattered on my cheeks but I don't have a lot. My skins definitely looking clearer. I was in Atlanta over the weekend and wasn't so embarassed about my skin. I was embarassed of all the scars I do have and how they look in certain lighting. But I'll try to take care of that once I'm done with these devil meds...

I'm sooo upset, someone I am dating got into a big accident last night and a person was thrown in the river with the impact...police still can't find the body. I'm so nervous for him, I went into a little chapel outside my house and lit 2 candles. 1 for my love and the other for the missing person and his family. I hope all is well...

So I think I'm moving to Atlanta. I just feel like there's really nothing here for me to do and that I should just get outta here asap. I technically can leave in September because I have the money but am nervous about making such a big move. C'mon...Boston to Atlanta? That's a biiiiiig jump!

Hair's still falling out massively when I wash it and a little when I comb it. Nothing new to report...

Sweet Cheeks

Ok...so for the last month I've been losing TONS of hair. Its shocking. My mom does my hair and even she is concerned. I told my derm about what was happening so she checked my scalp and told me she didn't see any bald spots. She said the hair is going to fall out no matter what treatment I put in it and that it will stop a month after I stop the meds. I only have 1 and a 3/4 months left so I might as well keep going. I just hope my hair isn't so much thinner that I have to cut it a lot. My Derm said this side effect is reversible and that new hair will grow in. I really hope so because I've always had a TON of hair...and I'm not exaggerating. I could already feel a difference. When my hair was freshly done it would feel heavy on my neck and I loved it, now it feels light and thinner. I'm going 2 try not 2 think about it but its hard when everytime u touch ur hair, a couple strands fall out at a time. Its scary. There's hair all over my bedroom floor and my cubicle at work. Hopefully this changes...

Since I'm having this side effect, the derm told me to take 60mg on odd days and 80mg on the even days so that I can alternate and maybe not lose so much hair. I don't think its working because its already been a week and half...maybe I'm being impatient. But the Derm said research shows that the higher milligram u take, the better your results will be and the lower ur chances of getting acne again will be. She said a lot of her patients don't even reach 80mg because they can't handle the side effects. Maybe I'll tell her I rather take 60mg for the last month since I basically took 80mg the whole last month and every other day this month. I def don't wanna cut my hair!

I currently have 1 active pimple on my cheekbone and 1 healing pimple near my hairline. Hopefully the acne will stop completely already. I'm tired of these damn zits, even if its 1 at a time now rather than 15 like before. I don't feel depressed or anything but I just wanna get off this poisonous drug and live my life with clear skin & a full head of long thick hair.

I know ur not supposed to drink liquor on this med but I have! And my blood tests have come back good. Except that I'm borderline anemic which could be from my poor diet. This has happened to me before but I'm gonna lay off the liquor unless its a special night. Its like taking poison on top of poison...PLUS I feel like the meds magnify the feeling. Now I have 1 drink or take 1 shot and I'm already drunk! Its crazy, but scary so I'm going to fall back on that.

Skin is feeling good and bump free except in the little area I have those 2 pimples. Til' next time, pray for me...

Sweet Cheeks

I'm so happy I'm more than halfway through my treatment! I can't wait 'til I'm no longer a slave to these meds. Plus I'm tired of having my aquaphor glued to my hands just in case I need re-application, which I always do.

My face feels super tight when I wash it and looks extra ashy unless I put my lotion on. I'm still getting oily always on my upper lip, corners of nose, between my eyebrows & chin. Its soooo annoying. Why can't I just stay matte all day? I fear once I get off the meds I will be back to being an oil slick. I used to look disgusting in the summer sometimes. Like an hour after applying my makeup it would be dripping off me. I probably could've been a good candidate for seborreah. I'd have to sometimes use 3 oil absorbing sheets at a time!

My hair is super dry, since I relax my hair I only used to wash it once a week. I always used a deep conditioning treatment. I did rollers, went under the dryer & then flat ironed my hair myself (my hairs long and thick so it takes me an hour and a half). But now that my hair is dry, flakey & brittle, I've decided to wash my hair every week and a half. I don't think I can bare waiting 2 weeks to wash my hair which would probably be better.

I currently have 1 under the skin bump that was hurting until this morning. Its right on my cheekbone and I thought it was going 2 develop in2 a monster cyst, but I guess the Claravis stopped it dead in its tracks. It'll probably be completely gone in a day or 2. I have 1 small pimple between my chin & cheek that's already dried up. I'm just waiting for it to peel off like the rest of them.

I'm very grateful that I don't get side effects like some of the people on here. All I have is bright red lips that get flakey every couple hrs and ashy skin. I have the solutions for both, so they're not even a problem. Check in with y'all later, still nothing big to report

Sweet Cheeks

So I'm about 3 days behind, I've been slacking! I guess I'm pretty much over the whole taking 4 damn pills daily! I set an alarm in my phone so that I can remember to take my one 40mg and two 20mg pills all together.

I currently just have 1 small zit on the left side of my jaw, 1 small zit under my chin & 2 tiny healing zits...they're actually already flat but I just thought I should mention 'em. I have cheeks full of red marks or post inflammatory hyperpigmentation (if we're speaking technically) and am just waiting 4 them to fade. Skin looks blotchy, uneven & I'm hating the texture. My cheeks aren't even smooth anymore which makes me sad. Skin still gets slightly oily but the Derm said it could be 'cause of the weather. I'm not even peeling @ all. I'm starting 2 think my skin looked better b4 the claravis cuz u couldn't really tell what my skin texture was like. Now it looks gross 2 me. Well I have my days. Some days I think I look awesome, others I don't even wanna look in the mirror of my car.

My hair's extremely dry and brittle, breaking and falling out a lot. I feel like my hairs looking and feeling fried. I need to buy some olive oil treatment and some other crap I use in my hair. I just want this to be over already...hey! I'm more than halfway there...just 2 1/2 months left!

Sweet Cheeks

Sorry I haven't updated for a couple weeks! I've been super busy going out, meeting new people & catching up on sleep.

I had the best time on vacation! My forehead got sunburned and so did my upper arms but I still got a nice tan and had a stuuuuupendous time. Some idiot asked me if I was stressed out 'cause I had blemishes. I didn't even have that many, but ofcourse I was utterly humiliated. That was the only downer of the whole trip...and that was nothing! I went horseback riding along the beach, rode on a yacht to a private island where there was a seafood lunch laid out. It was the best vacation I ever took!

But back to my skin: just went to my derm today and she prescribed me 80mg. My lips are soooo dry I have to apply aquaphor twice or more an hour. Especially if I drink water or eat. I haven't been drinking as much water as I usually do, but don't see a difference.

I still get oily on my t-zone, currently only have 2 actives under my chin and that's it. I just started picking a little hard bump that felt like a whitehead on my cheek, that'll probably grow in2 a superstar for me being an idiot! My nose doesn't feel bumpy at all anymore but I have tiny little holes in my nose where the blackheads used to be. Looks kinda gross and I hope the texture changes! That's about it for now, ankles are sometimes sore in the morn but goes away by the time I walk 2 the bathroom. Could be from my running or wearing heels all day. Well, I'll report if I see anything change. Ttyl

Sweet Cheeks

Ugghhhhhh! This is so frustrating! :) I feel like I'm going backwards! How is it that I'm on 60mg now and I'm oily by the end of my work day? My lips are super dry, they're like the sahara desert but everything else is not improving. I had a nice little breakout last week and was so embarassed to go out! I was trying to stay home but my friends convinced me to go out anyway. My face looked red, flakey, bumpy and holey lol. Everything bad, it's so weird because my skin was looking great the first month; breakouts had slown down, zits were going away super fast and my skin was silky smooth. I'm still taking Claravis so I don't know. Maybe once I hit 80mg next month, I'll look better.

I really hope I improve soon because I'm holding back on a lot of things & avoiding meeting up with certain guys because of this :) . I finally talk to a guy I've been infatuated with since last year! It's so crazy because I always thought of him, never spoke 1 word to him and then this Saturday that passed...boom. I run into him in one of my favorite clubs in Boston. We just made eye contact a couple times, then it was over, went home & was feeling a little ballsy. I found him on facebook and wrote him "You know it's rude to stare right?" LMAO! Classic! But it worked, we've been talking, IM'ing, texting...everything! We've spoken everyday since we exchanged numbers :doh: . I hope it goes somewhere even though it's more of a friend vibe right now. I'm pretty shy and so is he so we just talk about dumb random stuff. It's like I've known him my whole life...whatever happens happens I guess. I'm not gonna sweat it, especially when I will not even try to hang out with him in natural sunlight with my face looking a hot mess!

Everything else in my life is going well. I'm leaving to Dominican Republic on Monday and I should be back by Thursday...can't wait. And yes, I will be tanning! Wooooo Hooooooo!!!

Thanks everyone for the encouraging words, we're all going to be beautiful and confident very very soon... :D

Sweet Cheeks

This is strange, but my skin is extremely flakey (chin and nose area) yet I'm experiencing shine. It's not oily when I blot my face but a little something something does come off. Maybe I'm putting too much moisturizer on with my makeup. I'm just going to wash my face tonight and not bother putting any sort of creams on. My makeup is looking really funky at work and I don't want to be stared at!

I was totally in the clear until...Thursday. I had a sore bump near my mouth and then it turned into a papule a couple days later. I have a couple sore spots right now and guess what? They'll probably make their appearance tomorrow night when I go out! I currently have 5 actives and healing zits...not too bad. I did start off with eleven, and now I only have 5! Hopefully I don't have hormonal acne because I don't think I'm going to refill my birth control prescription.

When I went to my derm appt last Friday, she said she could see the difference already and that my face was looking great :) that made me so happy. I haven't received any compliments from other people on my skin, but they do compliment my outfits :doh: I can't wait to hear the skin compliments...but anyways. My hairs looking better, let's see tonight after I flat iron it! It's raining out so hopefully I won't be looking like a q-tip. Toodles!

P.S. - I just read a fabulous book by Steve Harvey, its called "act like a lady, think like a man". It gives great advice on guys and relationships...and even the mistakes us women make when in one. It's a good read, trust me! I read it in two days...mind you, I work 10 hr days and go to the gym!

Sweet Cheeks

I'm feeling kind of down :doh: . I know it's not the medication, I'm just going through a rough time. The infamous ex-boyfriend was spotted going to the gym with the girl I hate...I'm so disappointed :) . I know I said it's officially over, but I am human and I can't help but feel betrayed. I just wish he would of told me the truth. I would have moved on a long time ago, guys are such assholes. I'm still in shock though! I hate the fact that she (the whore I hate) bartends at all the clubs I go to, I actually saw her last Thursday and she was staring at me. Who knows, probably internally laughing! I don't want to run into either of them or I will absolutely die!

Sorry, I had to vent. I'm pretty sure my friends are tired of hearing about it. Anyway, whoa! My hair is super dry! It doesn't even look like a shadow of what it used to be. My hair is pretty long, and it used to be shiny and silky straight. Yea right! Now all of a sudden I have a ton of those little white bulbs at the ends (which I guess means breakage), it feels rough and looks frizzy. Not cute at all. I don't even like to leave it down anymore. I'm going to have to start buying some moisturizing hair products and a silk pillowcase so that all the moisture can stay in my hair. Silk pillowcases are great for preventing wrinkles too.

I've been feeling upper back pain randomly. I woke up with that pain out of the blue and a couple days later it just went away. My arm went numb yesterday out of nowhere! But no biggie. Let's see what else...skin is still dry but it's not even noticeable. My breakouts are definitely leaving 100x faster than before. I currently have 2 actives; one on my forehead and the other on my jawline. They're not huge like the ones I used to get. My skin texture actually looks alot better. So the medication is working :D I know everyone says they don't want to jinx it, but there's no such thing as that. I'm just simply reporting what's happening to me. My skin is looking pretty good at the moment. Could change at any time and I'm ready if it does. I'm hoping it only gets better from here.

I have my Derm appt on Friday, I will probably be bumped up to 60mg since the goal is to gradually get to 80mg. I'm starting to think I have hormonal acne because I've noticed I breakout the week before I get my period. Does anyone know if I get off my birth control if I will break out like crazy? I think my skin is being helped by the combo of Claravis & Ortho Tri-Cyclen. I want to get off birth control 'cause it's such a pain to take and I'm not even sexually active (hello, I'm single and back on the prowl). I'm just taking it to help with my cycle and acne. Well, til next week :)

*Muah

**Edit**

I actually forgot! My chin is peeling and looks dry, but that's it. The corners of my nose are pretty much under control. And yes, my nose is still blackhead valley

Sweet Cheeks

What a horrible day...I'm definitely not suicidal but I feel like dying (not literally). My ex-boyfriend is dating someone I was suspicious of through the last months of our relationship...I had the feeling all along. I just want him to pay for what he's done and how bad he's made me feel. Boys suck, now I know for sure I will be moving from here to Atlanta, Georgia. I was holding out until September, my skin would be crystal clear, my confidence through the roof so maybe just maybe I would have a great relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I did break up with him because of my lack of confidence...its complicated and stupid, but now its really over. 5 yrs for nothing.

Sooo...my nose is extra bumpy with tiny blackheads I didn't even know I had. I used to have blackheads but my nose felt super smooth to the touch, not anymore! Now its like sandpaper, even the little mole I have on my nose is smaller and drying up. So weird, but welcomed. I have a whole bunch of zits near my jawline on both sides, don't feel like counting them. I did notice that papules are turning into pustules quickly and healing much faster than before. I would have a healing pimple for 2-3 weeks, now its pretty much healed in 1 week.

I'm not oily at all, I didn't even use an oil blotting sheet today, but my makeup looked funky. I think I put too much powder over my new breakout. Its so weird to be matte all day, I'm used to being oily 2 hrs after getting to work. Uhhhh I have killer cramps! I should go to bed and forget about everything...buh bye!

Sweet Cheeks

I had my 1st nose bleed today at 3am basically in my sleep! I'm shocked, I know that could be one of the side effects, but I'm not even through my 1st month and I'm already bleeding from my nose! I guess that's another side effect to add to the list...I'm going 2 have to go to cvs and get some moisturizing nasal spray.

Skin is way less oily than when I wrote my last entry! I could use 1 oil blotting sheet for the whole day, kinda cool. Just grew 3 new zits on the left side of my face. 2 painful ones on jawline (to add to the 2 already healing there) and 1 on my hairline close to my ear. The one between my eyes is finally healing. I grew 1 new zit on my right cheek that had been brewing for a while, I guess it wasn't sure if it wanted to come out or not...well it made its premier Thursday night when I went out clubbing! I was a little self conscious, but whatever! I also went out Friday to a local club that's pretty big. I saw a lot of people I haven't seen for a while. In the Latin culture we always greet with a kiss, there's no hiding from that! Soooo a couple people kissed me lips to cheek, they didn't wanna touch their cheek to mine. I notice all this...I don't think my face looks that bad and I'm not oily either. It was actually 1 guy on Thursday and another on Friday. But whatever, they're losers and I'm FABULOUS!

Back to the point! Lets count my zits (including the healing ones):

4+1+1+1+2=9

Less than last time!

Sweet Cheeks

Day 14 (40mg)

Hey guys, just lying in bed recuperating from the gym! Whoa, I just weighed myself and I am soooo not where I thought I was! I'm gonna have to weigh myself in the morn and really see what my true weight is! My big vacation is only a month away and I need to get in tip top shape!!! I'm pretty athletic and motivated so I'll get there...

Ok, so I currently have 1 new zit in between my eyebrows, 3 on my left cheek, 5 on my right cheek & 2 on my jawline

1+3+5+2= 11 great zits!

The rash on my neck/collarbone is completely gone w/no sign it was ever there ::sigh of relief:: I'm still oily, not as oily as before but I definitely get shiny in a couple hours, even after I blot. My chin is dry and flaky, so are the corners of my nose so atleast I know the accutane is actually doing something! My lips are sooo much drier! I went to bed last night without putting aquaphor on and boy did I feel the difference this morning. The corners of my mouth feel raw (could be from the grapefruit I eat everyday) and it hurts to open my mouth. It feels better once I put aquaphor on, I learned my lesson! Never go to bed without moisturizing my face & lips!

I figured out why my face was strangely shiny...I'm such an idiot! I was using the Cetaphil moisturizing lotion...but its meant for the body! I finally decided to read the back of it & discovered its for the body! So I went out and bought the cetaphil face lotion w/spf 15, I put it on morning and night...doesn't matter if it has spf.

I'm still sick and have a very sore throat. I've had it for about a month and I really should get it checked out. I'll go this weekend if nothing improves...that's it for now, toodles!

Sweet Cheeks

Day 11/12 (40mg)

Just got home from the club & decided to rant a bit. I'm feeling sooo self conscious about my skin...its kinda looking disgusting now...I have about 10-13 zits (3-4 finally grew in on my left cheek) on both cheeks & my skin is still oily. But its not as oily as it was before, its strange. The texture looks uneven, weird & shiny...but its weird. When I use the oil blotting sheets, there's hardly oil on it but my face looks shiny and ugly!

Outside the club (I went with a couple of my guy friends) there were bright lights and I could just feel all my friends staring at all my acne and the horrible texture of my skin. You know guys don't understand makeup and skin issues...I just wanted to die! I don't even know why I let them pressure me into going out. I felt so ugly...I think I'm going to just focus on working overtime and saving money because I refuse to be seen looking like this. Its going to kill me 'cause I loooovvveeee going out, meeting people...flirting w/my crush. Guess all that stuff is going to be put on pause since I'm having major skin issues. I'm basically 4 months and 2 weeks away from being free of this...I hope there's no more major scarring because that will be extremely damaging to my confidence. Its already at an all time low. No matter how cute my hair looks, how great my outfit is put together or how beautiful my makeup is...the bumps on my face just throw everything off. Its just a matter of having patience I guess and not getting discouraged. No matter how bad this gets I'm not going to stop. If this doesn't work, then basically I will just have to live with my acne forever. But I know it IS going to cure my acne and I'm going to be one of the "natural beauties" lol...I'm sure of that!

So back to my skin! Sorry I got a little sidetracked! I'm super sober (I can't believe I'm not allowed to drink!) and just feeling horribly ugly. But anywho, skin is strangely shiny and less oily than before. Still oily though, I've got 2 painful bumps growing in and cheeks full of healing and active acne. Chin acne has completely healed, chin feels completely smooth as if there were never anything there. Skin is a little dry and itchy in corners of nose and chin. Strange rash on neck and collarbone is going away. So far, I'm not sure if I would of had this breakout with or without Claravis or if this is the infamous initial breakout. Guess I'll update sometime in the coming week. Hope everyones Accutane treatment is going well for them =)

Sweet Cheeks

Day 7 (40mg)

I took my 7th pill today so I'm assuming today is Day 7/End of week 1. I'm a bit confused lol. So anyway, my skin is still oily as hell! Thank God I didn't throw away my Clean & Clear oil blotting sheets or I would've been hunted down & skinned for oil! Oil is so expensive and here I am washing it off my face! Yea I know, dumb joke. I thought I'd be drier but its the opposite. Lips are a little drier, haven't noticed a significant change BUT I have noticed something. I've developed a strange rash or a million tiny little blocked pores that itch...not on my face though. Its on my neck and collarbone. Its strange, but I'm not gonna touch it. Hopefully it goes away soon or I'm gonna go crazy!

Suprisingly haven't developed that many new pimples. Don't have any blackheads on my chin and smaller blackheads on my nose. I grew 1 more pimple on the right side of my face to add to the 4 that are taking forever to heal! So now I have 5 bumps on the right side, none on the left & 1 new zit already healing on my chin. Oh yeah and let me not forget the one under my right eyebrow almost between my eyes. Thankfully I cut bangs in a desperate attempt to hide my pink eye (I got it on Monday!) which I cut too short so now they're just below my eyebrows. They look cute though, I'm glad I did it. My conjunctivitis is clearing up though and I'm feeling a lot better. Kinda sucks that my eye was already red on Sunday and I missed my friend's babyshower. I need to take pics for my passport which I need before May since I will be traveling out of the country...but my beautiful pink eye is stopping me. Hopefully it'll be completely gone by Friday.

I'm going out tonight! Woooo hoooo! So excited (yes I know its Tuesday)! Ryan Leslie (R&B producer, singer of Addiction & Diamond Girl) is hosting at a club in Boston and me & my girls are going to terrorize the place! Can't wait...I'll repost next week or maybe sooner if anything changes! Lets pray for the drier skin please!

Sweet Cheeks

Day 1 (40mg)!!!!

:( Yaaaaay!!! My bloodwork came out fine, I got my prescription, got it filled (for only $10) and now I'm just waiting for my mom to come home with some delicious takeout so I can take my 1st pill...ok, I know that was a run-on sentence! Can you blame me?! I'm excited, I've been waiting for this day forever and I'm finally on my way to clear skin! I wish I would've taken it when it was first offered to me, but hey...what can ya do? It would've prevented alot of scarring but I can take care of that later on!

Mmmmm I can't wait to eat my balsamic glazed salmon with pineapple salsa, grilled asparagus and creamy mashed potatoes...sorry, just came out of the gym and I'm starving!! Anyway, I'm starting on 40mg of Claravis and my Derm said it works exactly the same as Accutane brand. Sounds good to me! I'm shocked that it only cost me $10 when I've read other people have had to purchase it for hundreds of dollars! I'm so relieved.

I'm prepared for all the side effects so I've got my Cetaphil cleanser & lotion, I already only use Bare Escentuals Mineral makeup (There's nothing better than it), I bought some Aquaphor for my dry lips (I'm actually worried about that because I've recently noticed my lips are always dry) I use Aveeno Intense relief for body lotion and I drink tons of water anyways. I'm not a fan of soda or juice...strictly H2O! I just started working out this week so I hope that the common joint soreness side effect doesn't kick in for me. Especially since I'm vacationing in May and I want to look fabulous...even if I am hiding in the shade :dance: I will be using lots of sunblock and be covered up with hats & such, I just wanna relax and get away!

I currently have 4 active zits on my right cheek, flat bumps I can't really see along the right side of my jawline and a little less on the left & last but not least 2 on my chin. The ones on my cheek are pretty big and embarassing, but the others are not that bad. Ofcourse I have a lot of pigmentation left over from old acne and little ice pick scars along my cheeks, I've seen worse so I'm glad I'm taking action now. There's nothing else going on with me...weekend plans are still up in the air but I do have a baby shower to go to on Sunday. Why is everyone having babies? LOL...til next week!

Sweet Cheeks

I am soooo pissed off!!! Ok so dig this, my derm cancelled my appointment for today sometime in February and didn't even notify me! Apparently they entered my info on the iPledge website 1 week after they were supposed to! So now I have to pay the price of waiting another f***ing week because they're idiots...AND I have to get my blood drawn...AGAIN?! I am livid, and there's nothing I can do. I'm even more frustrated because I have 3 huge pimples on the right side of my face...I'm talking huge! They're all lined up going down my cheek which makes me look oh so attractive. Plus I have one over my right eyebrow, what did I do to deserve this? I feel like everythings going wrong all in 1 week:

1. I'm still sick and still can't hear from my right ear

2. I crashed my Hummer into a tiny car and destroyed the bumper (ok maybe not destroyed but damaged)

3. My ex-boyfriend's ignoring me...I'm regretting breaking up with him

4. My skin looks like crap and I have my god-daughters birthday party to attend this weekend

I just feel so down, my skin really controls how I feel. When I feel bad, it has a domino effect on the rest of my life and it just overwhelms me...I feel like all my dreams and things I want out of a romantic relationship are out of reach, yet I could still see it in the distance. I can't wait to start my life after Accutane and not worry about stupid things like skin. There's so much more to life than this! Sorry for being such a downer! I'm just really upset and don't want to call my friends to complain...til' next week. Appt is Wednesday March 18th

Sweet Cheeks

Well, I haven't been to work since last Wednesday because I have a sinus infection...not fun! Now my ear keeps on popping so I can hardly sleep. Poor me lol.

So anyway, I had my blood drawn today (this is the 1st time I didn't even care about needles, I'm too sick to care!) and I hope that my taking tylenol before then doesn't affect the results. I don't want to further delay starting Accutane, 1 month is enough!

I already stopped using my Murad products and purchased Cetaphil cleanser & lotion. I've used my Retin-A last night which was the 1st time since my last entry. I'm not a fan of this evil cream. I've noticed my face is more sensitive and gets redder now for no reason. I currently have 2 new painful zits that popped up out of nowhere, I also have 2 smaller ones that are healing, and this is all happening on the right side of my face. I have a whole bunch of whiteheads (I think) all over both my cheeks. They're the color of my skin and are just slightly raised bumps that you could only see in certain lighting or up close. I hate the way it feels when I wash my face. I feel like I'm exfoliating the skin on my hands with my face! So if anyone needs to scrub something just let me know and I'll lend you my skin lol...well 'til next time! I'll write again when I take my 1st pill!

Sweet Cheeks

12 Days Til' Accutane!

Ok, so I'm supposed to use Retin-A for the time being until my iPledge waiting period is over...I hate the way it makes my skin look and feel! My face was feeling super itchy, tight & like I had a sunburn and it looked dull yet oily. I didn't even know that was possible! I started off using it once every 3 nights, then 2, then every night...this lasted about 2 weeks and I've decided to give my face a break for a week and use it only every 3 days...I don't really see the point of using it for a month just to get off of it but I gotta follow the Doctors orders! Plus, I've heard that it takes your skin a good 3-4 months to get used to the products and for you to see results. From personal experience I've found that to be true.

So today is my best friends baby shower and I'm so excited! :) She has no clue...so now I'm just taking a couple hours to get beautified; iron my hair, do my nails, wax my eyebrows, etc. It's so hard being a girl! Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much about my appearance, or else I wouldn't be taking a huge risk and starting Accutane in less than 2 weeks...I can't believe in 2 weeks I will be on the road to clear skin...I can't even imagine myself with clear skin! I'm so used to seeing myself with atleast 2-3 pimples (that's on good days) and lots of pigmentation. Can't wait til I can go to the gym and not feel self conscious without makeup! Well, gotta start getting ready to look beautiful! Have a great weekend everyone!

Sweet Cheeks

Can't wait...

Okay, so I've been doing my research on Accutane for about 1 1/2 months now...I'm obsessed with it! Ever since the idea jumped into my head I can't stop thinking about my acne and how much I want to get rid of it...I've had acne since I was 11 yrs old! I'm now 25, love to shop, hang out with friends, flirt with the boys...but one thing has held me back completeley for the past year. One word, four evil letters. The most evil, devilish :( combination of letters known to man; ACNE

I was offered Accutane when I was 19 but let my fear of needles get the best of me and didn't go back to the Derm for my follow-up visits. I regret that so much! Just to think how different my life would have been if I would of just taken the opportunity. I had mild/moderate acne (with the 1-2 time a yr horrible breakout) all these years and pretty much had it under control with ProActiv (I know...horrible). But ever since I went to Esthetics school and they made me stop using ProActiv and start using their sucky normal skin products :( , I've been breaking out in painful papules, pustules, whiteheads & sometimes even cysts! I break out on my chest, back & bum bum too now! It's horrible and has really affected my relationships. I've been so insecure with my breakouts that it basically made me bring a 5 year relationship to an end. I never wanted him to see me 1st thing in the morning w/no makeup on, turned down a couple trips to NY & Miami all in fear that he would look at me on the beach with no makeup and be disgusted. I know he should love me for who I am, but I feared what he would think of me...it even stopped me from moving in with him which he really wanted! ;)

Sorry for the long story but I just want everyone to get a feel of me and what I've been through because of this stupid condition. I've always had dreams of modeling, since I'm too old I figure I can still do promotional modeling for some extra weekend cash. I've been offered gigs but have been too shy to attend in fear of having an insane breakout the day before! So I am supposed to go in to see my Derm March 11th for my second blood test and hopefully a prescription of Accutane or any of its generics. I can't wait to start and be one among the sea of beautiful silky skinned people! I just want to know what it feels like to wake up and not have to put on acne meds or count the pimples on my face all at one time!

So anyway I've tried it all and nothing has worked. My Derm prescribed me a generic of Retin-A and I am supposed to use it at night. My skin feels really tight and like its burning...but I've only used it 3x. I started like a week ago and am trying to ease into it so that I don't irritate my skin too much and peel. I have 3 weeks 'til that appt and am keeping my fingers crossed! :) Thank you all for being such an inspiration, I've read so many logs and seen so many success stories on here. You are all an inspiration and I hope I can help someone as well. I'll let you know how the Retin-A is working for me before I start the Accutane...so far, no new breakouts!

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