About this blog

my story of acne and picking

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chipped

...grrr

so i picked the spot on my nose again-i am sooo mad mad mad mad at myself....stupid me, and one on my forehead.

so depressed.

chipped

i picked :/

did some picking...bad me :)

went after a blackhead on my nose...did some damage(nothing that will scar though phew). picked my forehead at some spots that i had been leaving(for more than a week) that just weren't smoothing out, and not to my surprise, they feel flat now. i just have a hard time thinking that not getting the clogs out of your pores is possibly good for your skin. deep inside, i still think that some -controlled- picking is good for the skin. blarg. i will try not touch my face for the next few days. i hate having spots on my nose, the worst place to have a pimple/picked pimple. thank goodness for concealer.

ps- don't mind my grammar or spelling- i know it's bad lol

chipped

redness and rambling

so i picked a spot on my chin kind of badly, but overall i have been picking much less. i cannot give myself much credit though, bc this decline is likely due to the decrease in pimples to go after, not my will power. i am not such a scabby mess...YAY. however, i a red and blotchy as ever...the aftermath of my self waged war on my face lol. Make up is a total necessity for me....as someone described it, " a five dollar bottle of paint that keeps me functional as opposed to completely debilitated." i am so jealous of those girls who can just wake up and go, and never think twice about their skin.

i am tired of feeling ugly.

i would like to add something to my skincare routine to help clear me up more, but my skin i am afraid seems to delicate. i really haven't done much to treat my acne, albeit a mild case, because i always have open wounds/scabs. i just need to be gentle and let my skin heal....i am realizing that much of my acne is self-induced.

ttyl all!

chipped

healing...

oh my spots...

my nose is healing up, i will not touch the scab. my forehead is a bit broken out... i cheated last night and popped a few, but i didn't go crazy- i stopped when i should have, so i am not too upset about that. my cheeks are still blotchy from past damage. i cannot wait till i can go out without concealer.

i am just trying to stay motivated and hopeful. i know my skin will heal if i let it.

any other pickers out there....say hi! :)

chipped

frick

so, didn't really pick at my face today....my skin is looking much better....except that damn spot on my nose( but i don't think it will leave a serious mark so i guess i shouldn't freak out too much). i don't want to go to class tomorrow, but i must. i hate leaving the house looking like this grrrr. i feel bad for my lab partner who has to look at me lol. i will just cake on some concealer and force myself to attend i suppose.

gosh, acne is so taxing

a side note: i thought this was the chin pimple emoticon lol :)

chipped

good morning

so i am just laying in bed, waking up and dreading getting up and having to look in the mirror. it is so sad that the first thing i think about when i get up is worrying about my skin and hoping nothing new has popped up overnight. i am praying the spot on my nose won't scar...blah.

i hate being so obsessed with my skin...i feel so vain and that is the last thing i want to be.

chipped

update yo

so my face is looking better....but i went after a spot on my nose. it looks kind of bad and i am not sure if i got all of the gunk out. i am a bit depressed about it. i am going to wash my face and put a bandaid and neosporin on it and head to bed.i hope it won't scar, but i think it will heal ok and leave a minimal mark.... i hate myself sometimes.

maybe one day i will be brave enough to post a photograph of myself/my skin.

i hate how my skin really ruins any confidence i have. today my mom was saying she would take me to get a nice haircut and in my head i am thinking, what's the point. i am ugly anyways, why should i bother trying to look nice. i used to feel attractive when i wasn't picking so much, but now i hate to have anyone looking at me. i just want to look *normal* and not be completely consumed with thoughts about my skin/appearance.

i think i have bdd tendencies....

chipped

made it through the night

I made it through yesterday w/out any real picking (i took care of a whitehead that was ready). Today's plan is just to avoid mirrors and distract myself. I have so much going on this week i cannot afford to look like a scabby mess. It's crazy how strong the urge to pick is- i know it's a self destructive behavior, i know i could be causing scarring, but still, all i want to do is go after the blemish.

I am going to try to get a little exercise today; i know it is good for me and my skin. i will update later about today's happenings!

chipped

hello again

I am here to attempt to quit picking my skin, and by picking I mean destroying my face. Every tiny blemish I get I feel the need to operate on. I am beginning to see i have very mild acne; I just completely exacerbate the problem with my fingers, needles and tweezers.

My personal life has deteriorated far several reasons, this being a main factor. I am currently taking one final class to complete my bachelor's. I am unemployed and looking, albeit half heartedly, for a job but am terrified of the idea of having to leave the house on a regular basis...I have a hard time leaving the house when I look a mess. My class only meets twice a week and I really have to push myself to show up. This condition is turning me into a hermit, something I really have never been before.

So now that you know a little of my pathetic story...

I am trying to make it til Tuesday without picking again. The last time I picked was yesterday, so this is a 3 day goal I suppose. I would also like to be looking decent on Friday as I flying to see family.

...and please don't be shy, leave a message if you want to talk or are have a similar problem.

chipped

...

so yesterday I picked 3 spots on my chin and I am left with the consequences today. I have decided that I will not look at myself until tomorrow when I am getting ready, and that I will not touch my face for the rest of the night....Now I just need to distract myself. I haven't looked at my chest since since Sunday(in the shower i just wash and make a point not scan or look) and I just hope it is healing....for me, the best solution I have found to avoid picking is to just not to look or touch at all, but that is hard to do with your face.

Looks like tomorrow may be a snow day.... I need to keep myself occupied. I really think a bit of exercise would benefit my skin...I try to walk as much as possible, but need to get back into running/gym. I have also been making an effort to drink more water. I have been thinking that it maybe better to switch to a more mild cleanser...cetaphil bar....any thoughts/recommendations? I think with skincare- doing the minimal is best- let your skin heal itself.

good news- my forehead is clearing up

bad news- small spot in the dies of my nose driving me crazy

I cannot wait for the day I can leave the house without concealer- makeup is a huge crutch of mine. Also, I cannot wait til I can wear low cut tops again...The acne on my chest is very mild, but with the help of my hands it looks awful. i just have to remember these goals each time I go to "fix" my skin.

oh, and hey bionicwoman- not sure if you saw my response, but I am def game lol!

chipped

hello

So today begins my blog. I am sitting in on Saturday night mostly because I don't want to be out and seen. I feel like every weekend I hide, hoping for my face to clear/heal before i have to drag myself to classes etc. on Monday.

I will give a little background on my skin. I am 22 now and up until i was 18/19 i had the clearest skin. College began and I started getting a few spots, but the real issue was my picking. I still pick at my blemishes and I can tell my skin takes longer to heal now than it did a few years ago. My acne, which is mild to moderate, now occurs mainly on my forehead, chin and my nose. I don't pick my face as badly anymore, but my chest(which only recently has been trouble) looks like a war zone. I allow myself to pick at my body more because i know i can cover it it. I really want to be able to wear things other than a crew cut tee...it is so embarrassing.

I guess the goal of this blog is just to share my frustrations with skin picking and acne, and hopefully to document m progress towards clear skin.

current products I use:

neutrogena deep clean face wash

curel lotion- unscented

proactiv refining mask

I'd like to talk to others struggling with skin picking issues so just say hi!

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