About this blog

*how I (try to) cope with my skin*

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Bio/ outside looking in?

Hello, for my first post I thought I should share a little about me:

I'm 21, I am very mature for my age and live for art/ writing and reading (self help & business type books) I am very into health & fitness and have a great b.f. who is very understanding : ) Even though I have ocassional break outs, I still take care of myself, stay in shape, try to dress nice, it does help so much!!

So I have struggled with acne since I was around 9! I began to get blackheads and little bumps on my forhead, I felt SO strange, everyone else had such nice skin, "what did I do to deserve this?" I though at such a young age, so unfair!!

When I was around 13 it got at its worst!! I had huge cist-like pimples on my cheeks and my face was really red! It was traumatic, I had great friends but the taunting, teasing and harrastment from class "mates" was so bad! It really set me back with my self esteem, though I did a good job covering it up at school and at home.

It didnt take long before the moodswings started, I began to feel more and more isolated by the time I was around 15, I had acne scars and just felt like an outsider! All my friends were blossoming and getting boyfriends! I did the makeup thing and did have "admirers" but never what I wanted, lol!

So I withdrew from my frinds because I felt they couldnt understand me, I became a total nightmare for my mom, skipping class, drugs, depression, suicidal thoughts & just total emotional wreck!!

Ironically, it was when I withdrew from people that I began to feel better about myself. Yeah, my outlook on society is a bit on the synical side, but I think that might be a good thing. I am friendly and upbeat, but I dont get so caught up in pop-culture and fitting into the status-quo.

I learned to love and master makeup. My scars (phsysical & emotional) are fading, and though I do break out quite often, I can cope with it better because I have matured a bit and have read a lot about perseption and things like that.

So the reason I started this blog is to have a place to express my feelings about this, acne can be such a sensitive topic that I never spoke to anyone about it, when others would bring it up it was awkward & I would feel put on the spot & hated it.

I also want to help others who are dealing with this, especially younger people, if only with lending an "ear" and giving emotional support.

And lastly, I joined this site & blog so that I could write about things I try, what works for me & what doesnt, share amusing stories and just have a place to go to when I sometimes feel, despite my best efforts to be possitive, like I am STILL on the outside looking in...(Sometimes positive thinking doesnt cut it, then all we can do is vent, right?)

Thanks for reading, I know it was long yet I do love to write : )

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