The words doctors use to describe Accutane make it all the more re-assuring to actually take the damn drug. 'Dangerous', 'side-effects', and 'last resort drug' are among my favourites.
Don't think I'm one of those idiots (despite the misleading description of my blog) that just doesn't care about my health and demands flawless skin. I'm one of those nerds who buys organic and adopted a semi-vegetarian diet just to add a few miserable years of old age and wrinkles to my already guaranteed short American life. There's no way, as cautious as I am with everything from matching my socks in the morning to staying within 5 mph of the speed limit, that I would go on Accutane if it wasn't absolutely necessary.
I've had acne for... about a third of my total life. 6 years out of 16, I failed Algebra in the eighth grade, you do the math. I guess I'm just one of those 'hormonally challenged' kids who grows boobs at age 11 and has acne 5 years before high school. Guess who got teased!
I've tried EVERYTHING! I mean it. Oxypads, Clearasil, Differin, AcneFree, Biore... you can't tell, but I'm literally naming the products that are under my sink right now. I think my biggest disappointment was with ProActive, partially because it worked for so many other clear-skinned ingrates and also because when Jessica Simpson promises me something, you know it should work. (WOW, the sarcasm...)
I've tried re-assuring myself with the 'nobody cares' or 'nobody notices' debate. Let me tell you something. When you have a giant, angry red dot on your bloody face, there is no way in HELL people aren't going to notice. They try not to stare, but somehow you always catch them, and it makes you want to smack them even though you know you can't blame them. You might as well tape a flashing arrow to your face that says in blinking lights OHGODPIMPLE! It's unholy.
Next, I want to flipping be able to touch my face knowing that the spot I touched isn't going to become a nasty, pus-filled bump that you spend half the day trying to strategically cover with a book, your hand, or even by turning your face. It's not fun and I get neck cramps.
SO I'm on Accutane, ready for death of liver to smite me down at any given moment.
STARTING DATE: November 30, 2008 (that's a guesstimate because I'm a teenager and therefore too lazy to look up the actual date)
CURRENT SYMPTOMS: Dry skin, dry lips, inability to heal current pimples
CURRENT PRODUCTS: Cetaphil Daily Facial Moisturizer, ChapStick Botanicals
COMPLAINTS: When is this Godzilla pimple on my cheek going to go away? I've had it for a friggin' week! I can feel the Asians in the distance running away in fear.