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Sam Pateman's 9 Month, 40mg Isotretinoin Course

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I'm sorry

I'm going to sound a bit of a hypocrite here, because I thought that writing entries on this site would help me in the future, but it hasn't. In fact, I've noticed that (because I haven't updated for a few days) I've thought about my acne no where near as much as I did when I was updating every day. Therefore, I'm not updating any longer.

I'll leave what I have wrote up for you, so you can see what happens in the early stages of treatment, but apart from that, this is it I'm afraid. I know it's a little selfish of me, but I think it's for the best.

I will, however, upload new photos of my face every month, so feel free to browse through them.

Good luck with your Accutane course, and if you're not on it, but are considering taking the drug, PLEASE do it - it's gave me most of my confidence back already, and I've really benefited from it. I'm not even 2/9's of my way into the course and yet I've already benefited hugely from it, so it really is worth it, trust me :rolleyes:

Thanks a lot for reading, and thanks a lot for your support - it's really helped me.



13/12/08 (Day 48)

The 'monster' I talked about yesterday is now alomst completely flat, because I popped the whitehead after I came out the shower and all the gunk came flying out. Now it's just a circular scab. The big one on my forehead, however, isn't any different in size.

I keep getting the sensation of breaking out on both of my cheekbones quite frequently, and it's doing my nut in! I can't even see any new spots forming, so I don't know why it feels like it does.

To be honest apart from that there's hardly anything to say.

The thing that's annoying me the most is how red my face is. All of my face except around my mouth and on my forehead is a light shade of red, and it really annoys me sometimes. I look like a chuffin' lobster with red spots.

If ANYONE has any idea why my face is so red, please let me know. Could it possibly be the soap and moisturiser I'm using? The moisturiser is very good at keeping my face nice and moisturised, and the soap is literally called 'Pure', because that's what it is - Pure soap, so I don't understand why that'd be causing me to go red. My moisturiser is called 'Olay Beauty Fluid'. Makes me feel so manly :P.

Until tomorrow

(12 Days!)


12/12/08 (Day 47)

Funnily enough, despite the fact I was suffering quite badly from side effects yesterday, they haven't been bothering me at all today!

The large spot on my forehead grew a whitehead overnight, so I emptied that the best I could but not that much gunk came out to be honest. It just feels harder and drier now.

The large sticky out spot on my right cheekbone has turned into a monster. I could feel it breaking out further all day, even now, I'm still getting that sensation. It has a small whitehead, so I'm hoping that, when I go for my shower before work, I'll be able to pop it cleanly. Other from that, no other actives are on my face.

To be honest, the reason my face looks so bad is the masses of red marks that don't seem to be fading. It's taking ages! Not only that, but my skin on my face in general is fairly red too, which makes me look even worse. I would love to just have my normal skin colour again :P.

Even though I'm still breaking out quite badly, the course is passing quicker now, probably because I'm not thinking about it as much as I used to. I still can't stand the sight of my face in a mirror, especially in natural light - it looks horrible! - but I'm not as paranoid about it when I'm distracted. It'd probably be better for me if I stopped writing updates on this thing, because I wouldn't dwell on it that much at all, but, for you guys, I'll persevere :P.

Until tomorrow

(13 Days!)


11/12/08 (Day 46)

Got a new big one bang straight in the middle of my forehead that came out overnight, can't say I'm particulary happy about it, but at least it doesn't hurt.

My right cheekbone is looking slightly worse today as one of the four big ones has got even bigger and now sticks out a bit.

My face has been stinging quite a lot today, and when i touch it it feels dead warm. It's also looking slightly redder again too :/.

Been VERY thirsty today, no idea why, but I constantly feel parched, and it's a little bit annoying.

Lips have been drier than usual today too.

(2 weeks!)


10/12/08 (Day 45)

'Ello again, sorry for no recent updates, I was busy on monday and I was absolutely exhausted last night after doing dodgeball, basketball and then boxing in the same day :P .

Anyway, to be honest with you, I haven't really noticed anything that drastic over the past few days. The small spots that came through that I described in my previous entry aren't active anymore, and the one underneath my left ear is just about gone. The other one is slightly larger, but isn't really that bad, so I can live :P .

My right cheekbone is definitely my worst area as there is a bundle (about 4) large red spots, however, they aren't seriously bad as they aren't tender and they only stick out a little bit, so I'm not so bothered. My left cheekbone (namely, the area where those tiny little white pimples emerged) looks slightly worse as some have got bigger. Then again, only one of them is quite red, and to be honest it's not horrendous to look at, and it's not tender either.

I kind of noticed today how much more confident I am as a person now. Looking in the mirror can sometimes frustrate me, as I'm still one of the worst for acne in the school, however, I don't let myself get depressed like before - I feel like I can overcome it just about every time. I know no one judges me, so really it's just been me all along putting myself down. I obviously would much rather just have a clear face, but at the same time I feel now that I can cope with it.

If you're reading this and are someone who is considering going on an Accutane course, please try it. It has been a lifesaver for me so far, and yeah, it's no easy ride, but neither is suffering with acne for years! My confidence was terrible at the start, but now, without even realising it, it's all came flooding back to me. I look forward to having clear skin again, and I know that day's coming, so until then, I'm just going to keep my chin up. I know there will be bad days, but everyone has them, so why shouldn't I? Seriously, please Please PLEASE try Accutane if you're like me, because it's one of the best things to happen in my life, no kidding.

Until tomorrow,

Cya :P

(15 days to go!)


7/12/08 (Day 42)

Once again, not much to tell really.

The rash has completely gone on my left hand now, which is mental because I was beginning to think the other day that it was going to stay with me throughout the course :P.

Two tiny sticky-out spots have come through today, one being being behind my right ear, which isn't so bad really because you obviously can't see it, and the other one is underneath my left ear. This one's slightly larger and a bit sensitive, and it frequently has a dry top that I can't help but pick off.

I think the very small white spots on left cheek haven't changed, and I hope it stays that way because I REALLY don't want them turning into monsters like what happened before.

I've not ate very well today because I've had a Mars Bar Muffin (soooo nice!), some jaffa cakes, a small slice of this sweet Christmas bread thing (with raisins etc) and a whole pizza to myself, and I feel a bit guilty now... Apparently your diet has barely anything to do with acne, but eating healthily helps reduce outbreaks... I hope this is the case!

After I washed my face before bed just before, when I put my moisturising cream on it stung a little on my cheek bones. I really hope that doesn't mean my face is going to go mega-inflamed again.

Anyways, I'll update again tomorrow. Cya :P

(18 Days)


6/12/08 (Day 41)

Nothing major to report really.

Right and left cheeks are still both incredibly red and covered with lots of flat red marks. A massive spot has grown right underneath the part where my hair ends (on my left hand side next to my ear) but thankfully you can't see it because it's covered with hair. It's quite a painful one mind you.

I keep feeling like I'm breaking out on my cheekbones, but when I look in the mirror to see if any current spots are any bigger, I see no obvious change. However, on my left cheek, I've noticed that I've grown around 10 very small white pimples that stick out slightly. I've only ever noticed this once before and last time it happened a few of them developed into monsters, so I really hope this isn't a repeat of what happened before.

At the start of the day my lips were fine and weren't bothering me whatsoever, however I noticed as the day gradually dragged on that they felt tighter and they started to hurt a little. Nothing a little bit of vaseline can't handle though ^^.

I've got that breaking out feeling again :/ it's dead itchy.

The massive rash on my left hand has almost completely disappeared now. It's amazing because yesterday morning it looked really bad, now it's nearly completely invisible, which is good.

I noticed just before that I do actualky have a few red marks on my chin, despite me saying it was clear by the way, so sorry for misleading you there.

It's weird how my face is red all over my cheeks and all over my chin, and yet, around my mouth and on my forehead, I have my normal yellow-ish skin colour. I so can't wait for normal skin again :P it's such a great thought, shame it's so far away. Annoys me a bit when my friends and family say I need to be patient, because I mean, yeah they're right, but at the same time, they don't have a clue how it makes me feel, not truly, so it's a bit hypocritical of them to tell me to do something when they'd probably react in exactly the same way if I was in their shoes...

Ah well, no point letting myself get all annoyed about it. Tar for readingm will update again tomorrow.

Ohh btw, just to let you know; if I ever miss an entry, it's not that I've forgotten, it's either because I've been far too busy or I'm just too knackered to write one :P. Happens quite a lot because I (usually) do quite a bit of sport throughout the week (boxing, football etc) meaning I get a bit tired because of that, school work, and attempting to have a social life too ^^.

Until tomorrow.

(19 Days)


5/12/08 (Day 40)

I would just like to say one thing... Dermatologists are useless!

Had my appointment today and it was a different person this time, which I thought was a bit ridiculous because she obviously had no idea how I looked before. Literally all I did was have a blood test, answer a few questions about the side effects I'd been having, grab my perscription and then went. I found it quite fuunny how when I showed her my left hand (the one with the rash) she just sort of went, 'Oh... That is quite dry isn't it?'. I was so tempted to say, 'Ohh! No shit Sherlock!' but I didn't thank God. She didn't offer any advice or anything, just told me to keep doing what I was doing.

Oh well, all the worrying for nothing I suppose.

They said that they'll call if there's anything wrong with my blood, but otherwise, I've got to have a blood test every month, and I've got to see the derm again in three months time. Feb 27th to be precise.

I'm happy to say that all the big spots that exploded onto my face have all gone now (already!) and so now I'm just left with a red left cheek with lots of red spot marks, a few red spots marks between my eyebrows, and lots of red spots marks on my right cheek, with a few proper spots bundled together on the cheekbone.

Despite still looking a state, I'm still relatively happy :P.

My left hand has got quite a bad red rash, but I've started putting moisturiser on it daily, so hopefully that'll do something.

Other from that, there's not much to tell.

To be honest, I've got a while until these red marks appear. They do my head in sometimes, like when I catch a glance of my reflection, but at least I only have just under 8 months to go. Better waiting that long rather than suffering with a horrible face for years :P.

--20 Days to go--

Hope everyone's okay, sorry for not posting for the past two days, never really found the time :P


2/12/08 (Day 38)

Great news today; the 'big' spots have all got substantially smaller overnight and throughout the duration of today!

When I woke up this morning, I noticed the big one on my forehead is getting flatter (it'll just be a red mark soon) and the ones on both my cheekbones were different. The one on my left cheekbone (the larger one) is no where near as inflamed as before and it's also a lot smaller, which is great, and the one on my right cheek bone had a big whitehead on it this morning, so I got to work and a worm of gunk came flying out, and gradually through the day its got better :P . It's just a dry mound of dead skin now (I'm not going to pick it off though because I'll make a mess).

The ones on the left side of my head are both nearly completely flat now.

The large one I said that I made a mess of last night had this long piece of white dead skin hanging off of it nearly all day, but it was too stubborn to pull off and it was tender and painful. Thankfully it just dropped off. This is the biggest single spot on my entire face now, and it's not actually that big. It's painful and looks quite red, but I'll live :P .

To be honest, the thing that makes a mess of my face is just all the flat red marks that are mostly all over my cheeks. They'll fade with time (thank God!), I just hope they don't leave nasty scarring =/. I have quite a few red marks between my eyebrows and a few on my forehead, and my chin isn't actually that bad anymore.

The texture of my nose is starting to feel a little rougher, meaning I may need to use one of those blackhead clearing things again soon. However, my nose still looks great, so I'm happy :P.

Side effects haven't been that bad at all today. Literally all that's bothered me is a faint red rash on my left hand. Looks like lots of little red spots. But, as I've said before; I'll live.

Will update again tomorrow.

(23 Days to go =P)

*Oh btw, I forgot to mention - my next derm appointment is on friday, so she'll be able to see how I've improved. I'll let you know what she has to say. I wonder if she'll consider changing my dosage...I hope not, unless she wants to push it higher (because that'll mean it'll be over sooner - screw the side effects :P).*

~Thankyou for viewing my blog everyone; I'm now past the 1000 mark. It's great to know people are interested to see how I'm doing :).~


1/12/08 (Day 37)

And so the countdown begins! Anyone excited for Christmas? I'm not that fussed in all honesty, but I suppose getting a few presents couldn't hurt :P. Went xmas shopping with a friend today and spent too much on my friends. Getting a job was the worst decision of my life :P. Anyway, back to my update.

I'm quite surprised actually, because the large spot on my forehead (after I managed to get a bit of whitehead gunk from it yeseterday) has already started to get smaller, which is good. The really large spot on my left cheekbone is slightly smaller, but, (thank God!) I've literally just managed to squeeze a worm out white gunk out of it, meaning that it'll hopefully get smaller a lot quicker now. The scabby spot on my right cheekbone is just a red mark now, but unfortunately the big one on that same cheekbone is quite tender and painful because I've just tried to get a whitehead out of it, meaning it'll probably get worse now =/. I'm also growing a large one on my chin now too. On the bottom right side of it, a spot that started off small during the day, has no started to grow into a massive lump and it's also quite painful, just like the one on my cheekbone. Coincidentally, this is one I tried to squeeze too, meaning I've probably done more bad than I have good.

I think my face is possibly looking less red in general now. Maybe it's just me being hopeful, but I don't think it looks as raw as it did.

Here's hoping the active spots don't get too bad, and that my other spots get even smaller when I wake up tomorrow :P.



30/11/08 (Day 36)

Just wanted to say, I'm really sorry for the really morbid post yesterday. As you can probably tell, having acne really bothers me, and it can totally demoralise me sometimes. I worked out yesterday that i have roughly 210 days to go, and that sounds sooo far away, and at the moment I'm just getting worse again, so you can obviously see why I was getting a bit PO'd. Never mind though, I'll try and keep a positive attitude, because I really shouldn't let this be affecting my life. Just wanted to give my thanks to 'freshfacehopeful' for her comment yesterday, I appreciate knowing that I know I'm not alone. That sounds crazy, but it makes me feel better :P.

Anyway, back to what you want to read.

Real strange change overnight, because I have a large, single spot towards the left side of my forehead. It's really big, but it's not pushing out anymore, and it's not got a whitehead either. One of the larger spots on my right cheekbone (the spot nearest my nose) is a dark red bloody mess at the moment, because I must have scratched it off during my sleep. The large spots to the left of my left eyebrow have got a tiny bit smaller. However, the large one I mentioned before, the one on my left cheekbone, has got VERY big. It's the same size of that one I had on my neck 10 days ago, and it looks HORRIBLE. What's worse is, even now, it feels like it's getting bigger. I can feel that 'pushing' sensation, and it's annoying. It doesn't even have a whitehead, meaning I can't even pop it!

That's it to be honest, back to school tomorrow :/.

Ohh side effects - lips have been painfully dry today; if I forget to put chapstick on and then stretch them in any way it feels like they're tearing open, and they have flaky, dry dead bits hanging off of them too. My hands no longer have rashes (although, to be honest, I'd rather have them over breaking out everywhere any day!), and I'm still always ravenously thirsty.

I've had the flu for the past 2 days as well, and my skin has gone quite pale, so it really brings out my red areas. Literally, around my mouth I have my normal (well pale, but normal) skin colour, then my chin is bright red, and that leads all the way up both sides of my face, and then you get to my forehead, and apart from the massive single spot and a few flat(ish) spots between my eyebrows, I have my normal skin colour. I look like a chuffing lobster! =P. Ironically, red is my favourite colour... but at the moment, I think I'm starting to resent ever liking the colour!


29/11/08 (Day 35)

All the time during work last night the big spot underneath my left eye got bigger and bigger. I had the awful 'pushing' feeling under my skin and I knew what was happening. I rid it of any pus that it had, and now it's just a large red spot, that doesn't seem to be growing anymore.

The 'large-ish' spots on my right cheekbone got worse too - one in particular is pretty nasty - looks just like the one on the one underneath my left eye.

One of the smaller spots has grown into a really big one over the past couple of days, (the one to the left of my left eyebrow), and it's one of those ones without a whitehead, meaning I can't really 'do' anything with it :/.

As before, still have lots of nasty ones on both sides of my jaw - especially my right side. There's one big one in particular that's coming close to my chin on the right side of my jawline. That one repeatedely grows whiteheads, is large and red, and is also painful too.

Why have I broke out really badly everywhere??? I'm really sick of this. Without all these big spots, my face wouldn't actually look that bad, as it would just be quite red with lots of flat red marks, but this is ridiculous. Right when I think I'm getting somewhere, within the space of 3 or 4 days I look horrible all over again. It really pisses me off. Why should some people have to suffer with acne when other people don't have to? It's so unfair. I just want to look normal, have confidence, get a girlfriend - but no, I have to wait. I'm making it sound as if I'm the only person in the world with this problem, but I really don't mean that at all - my point is; I just hate the fact that a minority of people have to suffer with this stupid disease while everyone else gets on with their happy lives, totally oblivious to the fact that people they know are suffering over some silly little reason. I hate the paranoia of waking up in the morning to check if I have broke out even worse, I hate the fact that nearly every single one of my friends have baby clear skin, and I hate the fact that I can't ever get it out of my head.

It's so long until July. Why can't time just hurry up so I can finally be happy?


26-28/11/08 (Now on Day 34)

Sorry, haven't been able to update for the past couple of days.

Well, there is no good news to report.

My hands are becoming increasingly drier, like this morning I could actually scratch dead skin off of my right hand, and my face is still red and is really starting to annoy me.

The spots on both my jawlines have suddenly grown again, and with a vengance, as they're all red, large, and the ones on the right side of my jaw, are painful.

I also have a massive spot next to my left eye, a few medium-sized spots on my forehead, a medium-sized spot on the middle of my chin, and two large-ish spots on my right cheek - lots of new additions to the family! Oh I forgot to mention the big red painful one underneath my left eye too (this one had a whitehead yesterday).

So not only have my spots became worse over the past couple of days, but so have the side effects of the drug, too. Fantastic.

Over the past two days I've had 4 whiteheads which I had to pop (I can't stand them, they're digusting.), and the one underneath my left eye popped fairly easily, but it hurt, because rather than coming out as a string of gunk like normal, this one just came out in a circular splurt instead, meaning it bled a little.

I'm really fed up of looking like this.


25/11/08 (Day 32)

Sorry about not posting yesterday.

On the upside of things, the new spots on my left cheek bone have stopped growing now. There a three new large ones, two of them being red, and they're quite bumpy too, but at least they're not cystic.

My face isn't painful anymore, but it's still quite red for some reason.

The spots between my eyebrows are now almost completely flat, which is great =D.

Lips are verrrry dry - I keep pulling strips of dead skin off of them - it's horrible!

Couldn't believe it today, because I saw the school newspaper and I was on the front page of it for finishing in the top ten in the country for my drama GCSE. So embarassing. I remember having a picture taken for it a while back - this was before I started Accutane, and this was when my face was near its worst. Despite the fact that I'd actually tilted my head slightly when I had the picture took, to show my 'good' side, the side that was shown was loads of massive red spots all the way up my jaw line, quite a few on my forehead and quite a few massive ones on my cheek too. Makes me kind of glad I don't look that bad anymore, but at the same time, I feel a right NERD! :P

A new side effect that I've noticed is that I'm beginning to get rashes on both my hands. When I stroke the affected areas, it still feels smooth, but with very small bumps, and the rash looks like loads of tiny little flat red spots all over my hands. It's not that bad, I just wish it wouldn't happen, that's all. Ah well, it's all for the greater good I suppose.

I'm a month down now... so say I've done 30 days, and every month counts as thirty days... I have 8 months left, and 30 x 8 = 240, so I've got roughly 240 days to go. Sounds absolutely ages away, but that doesn't necessarily mean it'll take that long until I'm completely clear. I may be relatively clear by month 7 ... who knows? I guess I'll just have to wait and see.


23/11/08 (Day 30)

In a nutshell - I'm slightly annoyed.

My face looks really red and feels dead raw. I think it's because I stopped over at my friends house last night, because I used a different soap from what I usually do, and I think it's really aggravated my face. It's actually painful at the moment, and it's really irritating me.

I hope that the redness just dies down soon, because this is doing my head in.

I'm very pleased to say that the spots between my eyebrows are starting to shrink now by the way. They're still very visible, and no where near flat, but they're not cystic either.

The huge cyst that emerged on my right cheek bone is starting to go down in size now.

I'm starting to grow new spots on my left cheek bone now. Fun, fun, fun...

Roll on the next 8 months. Anyone know how to deliberately induce a coma?


21/11/08 (Day 28)

Don't have enough time to leave an entry. Basic Gist = I Have a HUGE CIST on my right cheek and it's painful :P. Not much change elsewhere, apart from a single, medium sized poppy-out spot that's emerged next to the left side of my mouth :P.


20/11/08 (Day 27)

Despite everything, I have been in a great mood today. Since I started Accutane, I'd find myself exhausted occassionally, like on tuesday night after boxing, I felt fine, got home, had my dinner, and then fell to sleep in the blink of an eye, and this was at 9.50 (which is very early for me). I forced myself to go boxing again last night, even though I was stiff, and I put all my effort into that and did really well I think, and then today, for the first time in about 4 weeks, I did my own little home excercise, where I went on a 3 and a half mile jog, none-stop around where I live, lots of weights, sit ups, press ups, squats... etc etc... and now I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself, as I'm finding it easier to overcome the tiredness. I'm not really that fit in all honesty, but I want to be a Police Officer when I'm older, so being able to excercise properly is important to me.

My face, (especially my right side) is feeling quite tight today, but I'm not really that bothered. My lips haven't been as dry today, but they are still quite bad (but I'll get over it) and my arms are aching... but that's because of the excercise :P.

The left side of my face actually doesn't look as bad today. I'm not sure if it's me or not, but the redness of it seems ot have faded a little. It's still horribly obvious, but it's not dark red anymore, not like before.

My chin has lots of flat red spots, but they aren't that noticable, but I have developed 2 large-ish red spots over the past 2 days and they're quite noticable. One of them is quite large too, straight in the middle of my chin.

That spot on my neck is dying down quite quickly. It's still fairly large - it would look horrible on my face - but it's not painful, and it's not hard, so it won't be long until it's gone.

Spots between my eyebrows remain the same. Still that big one straight in the middle, but it has a dry top, meaning it'll hopefully dry out and drop of soon.

My right side - the majority of my face has VERY faint flat red spots that are only really noticable if you look really closely, but my jawline has a nasty, purple-coloured area of flat spots (my left side has exactly the same, but they stick out more), and those spots on my cheek I mentioned in previous entries, they don't look any different, but one of them has become quite hard and painful. But, seeing as I'm in a good mood, I'm not going to obsess over it :P.

Hope everyone's okay, tar for reading.


19/11/08 (Day 26)

Lips have been so dry today! Couldn't help but start picking at my bottom one earlier, and pulled a massive strip of skin off - it was disgusting! It hurt a bit too

-_- it didn't bleed at all though, so it didn't make a mess.

I love how my nose looks at the moment - there are literally about 2 or 3 tiny blackheads on the tip of my nose, next to a few scars from a while back (when my nose developed this absolutely GIGANTIC spot right on the end of it - honestly, it was like a wart!) and there's a large bundle around both corners around my nose, but I can sometimes scratch that with my fingernail and they literally just come off, so I doubt they'll be there much longer.

My face, however, isn't any better. My right cheek, which is the side where I had less spots, but bigger ones, has seemingly changed colour, as the big ones have gone from a bright shade of red to a dark red, and I have no idea if that's a good or bad thing.

Old big spots that I developed whilst I began my Accutane course have literally just peeled off my face. Wish the miillion other buggers would too!

I have developed a massive, single red spot (amongst about 4 other small red ones) between my eyebrows, and it had a small whitehead on it earlier, but when I tried to pop it, the head rollled off, but the spot's still got its juice in it, so it's going to be a while until it goes. Exactly the same has happened on my chin too.

That's it, thanks for reading :P

(I'm in the 600's for views now, thankyou to everyone who's following my blog, I hope that I have benefited you in at least some way. Cya tomorrow)


18/11/08 (Day 25)

Not much difference again today.

The only thing that I really did notice was that when I look in a mirror in natural light my face looks a lot redder than it does in a yellowy light, and it's still really horrible to look at. I've definitely improved, but I'm still no where near being happy.

I noticed a few days ago 4 very small little white-ish bumps had emerged on the top of my left cheekbone, all quite close together, and two of them have developed into proper red spots now :P. They're not massive, but they bump out.

The spot on my neck is starting to disappear now.


17/11/08 (Day 24)

Hmm... well I've probably just done the most disgusting thing - ever!

My nose has always been covered in blackheads, and they never seemed to go away, so I never bothered with them. But I've just been rooting around in my bathroom, and I found these pore-clearing nose strips that I had left from ages ago, and they are made by T-Zone, so I thought, "What the Hell!" and washed my face, put the thing on my nose, and then waited 10 minutes. When it was ready to be taken off, I peeled it off from both sides, and when it eventually came off, my nose was completely clear of blackheads! Unfortunately a tiny bit of skin was taken off the right side of my nose, but it's not too bad. Anyway yeah, as i was saying, my nose is now clear, but when I looked at the sticky nose thing, the amount of blackheads that were on it was SICK. There were so many, and they were all long and dead looking, it made me feel slightly queasy! Honestly, they look even more disgusting when they're actually out of your face.

As for my face... well, no different really. Still quite red, lots of flat red marks that'll take ages to fade.

The new spots on the left side of my head have stopped growing, one's big and has a crusty top, and ones medium sized and has a crusty top too.

The massive one on my neck is still painful, but no where near as much as it was before, and it's reduced a bit in size too.

Lips are quite dry, but apart from that, there's no side effects at all really.

I wish the next 200 days would just fly by.


16/11/08 (Day 23)

":P" is all I can say.

My face has been stinging today, probably because I stopped using my moisturising cream for the past two days because my face hasn't been dry, and it looks quite a lot more red too.

That spot on my neck is so frigging painful! And it's gigantic! So annoying.

The left side of my face, leading up to my forehead, has suddenly grown three large red spots overnight, which I'm extremely annoyed about.

The spot on my chin is now just a red mark amongst the million others.

The 'flat' red spots on both my cheeks seem to look redder today :P


15/11/08 (Day 22)

Was sat in my friend's living room this morning and I could feel him staring at my face - I absolutely HATE it when people do that - but he suddenly said, after examining my face, 'You're not gonna like this...' and I said, 'What?', thinking he was going to say I'd just broke out all over my face in the past hour, but he said, 'Well, I know you hate it when people talk to you about your spots, but you are looking a Hell of a lot better you know...' and I was quite chuffed at that :P

Both sides of my face are still quite red, and are covered in lots of flat spots, but yeah, they do look better than they used to. The spots on my right side are bigger and more inflamed than my left side, but the ones on my left side are in greater quantity, meaning I don't really have a 'good side' at the moment :P

One thing that's worried me a bit, and you may think I'm being a little daft, but I have developed a huge, painful red spot on the right side of my neck, which is somewhere I've never had spots before, so I'm worried they my spread, also, on the left side of my lower jaw, I have four massive, cystic spots that are dark red, painful, and horrible-looking. I really hope my neck doesn't start getting spotty because that's the only clear area I have from neck u :/

The spots on my forehead are still relatively large, but thankfully they're not painful.

I no longer have cystic acne on my cheeks which is a bonus. The areas where I do have cystic spots, are the following:

- In between my eyebrows and partly on my forehead (only 2 really big ones though)

- One large one on the right side of my neck

- One large one on the left side of my chin (really horrible looking)

- About 4 dark large ones on the lower part of the left side of my jaw, which spread just onto my neck ever so slightly

I'm still a long way off being clear, but don't think I'm reacting to the treatment that bad at all. *Touchwood* that I'll be virtually clear by month eight :P


14/11/08 (Day 21)

Not much change at all today. I lost my chapstick for half of the day so my lips got incredibly painful, but apart from that not a lot has happened.

I forgot to mention in my last entry; my eyes aren't bothering me at all anymore. They don't sting like they used to, so I'm really happy about that.

I have a large spot on the left side of my chin, and it was annoying me, so I popped it, but it wasn't ready, because only pus came out. I hope it doesn't get infected :/


13/11/08 (Day 20)

*Okay, for future reference, if I don't leave any entries for a day or two, I'm either ill, dead, or my internet has bust once again, okay? :P*

Well, well, well... what can I say?

...not that much really :/

Honestly, there has been barely any change at all on my face lately. Both sides are still red, and spotty, I have cystic spots between my eyebrows, one on my chin, and a bundle on both cheeks, and I haven't really improved or gotten any worse at all lately.

Only whiteheads I've had was yesterday when a large spot developed a tiny little one, so I got rid of that, and then a massive spot (which has started to crust over since I popped it) on my cheek grew quite a large whitehead, and when i popped that one, the gunk, and quite a bit of blood all came flying out. What's weird is, it didn't even hurt, and it didn't continuously bleed either, it just stopped as soon as it was popped.

As for side effects... well... my face, in all honesty, isn't actually that dry at all, which is great. I've switched to a different moisturiser (having ran out of my other one) and it's called Olay Beauty Fluid, and it's supposed to be a 'Non-Greasy Moisturising Cream'. I've used it for the past 4 days now and it hasn't made me break out at all, and my skin isn't flaky, so it's here to stay I think :P.

My lips, on the other hand, are chuffing EVIL. They sting, and they look dry, and this morning when I woke up, I had this massive circular scab on my lower lip, which I then peeled off. Surprisingly this didn't make it look more of a mess. The chapstick really doesn't work, but it's better than nothing I suppose.

I've also felt really tired lately too, because I mean, I went boxing for the first time in 2 and a half weeks on tuesday, and I felt like I was going to vomit. Seriously, I felt so unfit compared to when I started this crap. Next week I'm going back to my old excercise system, meaning that I'm probably going to feel very tired, and, (hopefully it won't but) my acne could get a little worse too, which would be really annoying.

That's really it to be honest. Apart from feeling like I need to vomit occassionally, I've covered everything I needed to say.

Hope everyone's okay, apologies for not leaving any entries for the past 3 days.

Cya later


9/11/08 (Day 16)

Well, today hasn't been a bad day at all, considering how crap I felt yesterday.

I looked properly at my both side of my face earlier, and I noticed that on my right side, I have 6 large spots that stick out of my face, quite a bit of redness and flat spot look-a-like marks all over my cheek and jawline, and my left side has 5 large red sticky-out spots, and LOADS of those flat red spot things. It also has a bundle of about 3 large blackheads too.

I noticed that my nose had a lot of blackheads on it, and so did around the corners of it too, so I used a gentle exfoliating creme that I had left over from a while back and got rid of most of the crap on and around my nose. I also attempted to get rid of the ones on the left side of my face but to no avail.

Lips have been dry as usual today, but it's not painful.

Eyes haven't bothered me at all.

No more mood swings today! I think I must have just been having a crappy day yesterday :P

Not much else to report really... surprising. I soooo hope I look a bit better for this time next week, because I want to look at least a bit better when I go to see all my old friends at my school reunion thing. And there's a photographer... Oooh the traumas I have in life eh? :P (Joke btw)

By the way, does anyone have any idea whether it's possible to finish your Accutane course early? Say I got completely clear at month 7; does that mean I could possibly finish early? I'm not particulary bothered if you still have to see out the course even if you're already clear - I'm just curious. If I could have clear skin and just put up with the side effects of this stuff, I'd be more than happy to. PM me or just leave a comment on this entry please. Thanks a lot :P

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