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On the holistic path

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June 2nd, 2008

So, I'm really proud :] I took all of my supplements today...well, except for the Vitamin D, but I got a TON of sun today, so I'm not worried. Oh and I also didn't take the CLO. But I took all 3 of my probiotics, my MSM, Vitamin C, and...oh, wow, I forgot to take the Zinc. Okay, well...whatever, it's just so many to remember. I'll try again tomorrow.

Hmm, anyway, thinking back to this past fall, when I was consistently clear and had energy, and just felt good...This is what I was eating:

Steamed veggies





Avocados (occasionally)


Yep, and I was eating small portions. I lost about 5 pounds, but the weight loss seemed to stop there. I was eating absolutely no sugar as I was in the beginning stages of a strict candida cleanse.

In retrospect, it was quite low fat, except for the salmon. I am thinking that it was the minimal calories and lack of overeating that did the most for me.

So, I think I am going to really focus on doing this "hard core." It makes me feel good too, to have control, to not be a slave to my cravings...sometimes I feel powerless, but why should food have power over me. It's "eat to live," right? At the time, though, I was not exercising.

So if I were to combine a low GI/low calorie/nutrient dense diet consisting of a lot of veggies, beans, lentils, salmon, and a few lean meats, with perhaps some nuts PLUS exercise everyday (don't think that's going to be a problem, as I've started playing tennis again, taking walks, riding my bike), proper sleep, and minimal stress (yay for summer vacation), I should be good! Plus supplements, of course!

I am trying to figure out if I really need all of these supplements though. I know I need MSM, and if I take MSM, I need to take Vitamin C, as the two work together. Then I need Zinc as it speeds up healing (I've never been consistent with Zinc, but hopefully it will help). And the probiotics are extremely important. CLO is good too because of the Vitamin D/Vitamin A/EFA, and the Vitamin D caps are good because I haven't been out in the sun for an extended amount of time in 2 years, so I am deficient.

I think, though, that the probiotics are not necessarily an on going thing. If I stick to low sugar to kill Candida, then I'm sure things will be fine after 3 bottles of probiotics. Also, once this bottle of Vitamin D is finished, I won't take anymore as I will be getting plenty from the sun and the CLO, which I will continue to take.

So longterm is really just MSM/Vitamin C, Zinc, and CLO. That's not too bad.

I have no idea why I write so much. Actually, I do. It makes me feel in control, as does recapping and going over the same things...over and over again. That's why I love lists.

Well, as this is my blog, and no one has to read it (I actually hope no one is reading this, so if you're reading this, don't think I'm crazy), I am going to recap again.

1. Proper diet

2. Supplements

3. Daily exericise

4. Regular sleep

5. Positive thoughts (You know, I actually think that if I maybe got off the computer and went and met some people, made friends, get a boyfriend, whatever, I would have an easier time thinking positive thoughts, as my mind would be off my health. Plus, if I had things to do, places to go, people to see, I actually think it would be easier for me to stick to my "routine." Oh well, must be self-sufficient.)

I'm going to work on making an acronym for my regimen, routine, whatever it is. Something where each letter represents a facet of my "whatever," that I can mentally checklist in my head to make sure I've covered all the bases for the day.

Okay, done writing for today...off to bed.


For Clarification

So for myself, what is it exactly that I am dealing with?

Forehead: Mostly smooth, but seriously messed up by red marks

Chin: Mostly smooth, but seriously messed up by red marks

Sides of my mouth/nose: Smooth, but seriously messed up by red marks

Hmm....I'm noticing a pattern here.

I think a big part of why I am so resentful/angry/frustrated/rebellious at/with my diet is that I have to do SOOOOOOOOO much to still look like crap. Meaning, that it's not like if I were to stick to my diet, the breakouts would go away and I would be left with nice skin.

NOPE. Not for me. Sure, the breakouts can be controlled, but my skin still looks so bad. I mean, it's kind of scary as I haven't seen anyone on here who is in my position as my red marks are just so damn numerous! Every. Single. Zit. Leaves a red mark!

WTF?! I mean, it honestly looks so bad. And, here's the kicker, it's looked like this since October. No change. No difference. It's like, my skin is incapable of healing.

It makes me feel so dirty and gross that I have this compulsive need to shower all the time. Of course, I love hot water, and I use it, and my face dries out, which doesn't help, but it's like everything good is being taken from me! I can't even have a hot shower!

Oh and not just red marks, but skin tone. I honestly have like 500 different shades of white, red, and tan on my face. Joy.

But like I've said, there is a lot that could help, hopefully. I mean, how would I know? I haven't been consistent at all.

So to break it down:

-Breakouts controlled by diet (food, not overeating, etc) and sleep

-Red marks and skin tone (hopefully!) will be helped by supplements (zinc and Vitamin C) as well as sleep, and salt water (hope to go to the beach within the month)...oh and EXERCISE! I just learned that a sedentary lifestyle is actually a form of stress, which obviously is not good for acne, so I really need to start exercising.


June 1st, 2008

Today is the date that I was supposed to be clear. I guess it hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized I'd lost track of what day it was, that I'd lost myself in an endless tide of months.

Well, so much for that. I look absolutely TERRIBLE!

June 1st, 2008 marks a new beginning, yet another attempt to get things going and to start healing. I can't say that it will be successful, for, at this point, I've learned that I'll be more likely to succeed without benchmarks and time limits, hour-by-hour schedules, and checklists. Well, actually, I'll keep the checklist...or attempt to anyway. After all, this is all just another attempt. At clear skin, at health, at life.

So after several months of not doing what I know I should be doing (I believe it was March 1st, my birthday, that marked the beginning of this downward spiral), I'm ready to do this. Properly. And may it take as long as it needs to take.

Why is it so difficult for me to take my supplements everyday? In all of these months, since November, I bet that the longest I've taken supplements properly is maybe about 3 weeks on and off. Pretty sad, isn't it? No wonder I'm struggling!

Well, I can't say that I will succeed tomorrow, but I'll try and set up a little goal for myself. Tomorrow, I will take my supplements.

Maybe the reason why it is so difficult is because I hardly know when and what to take them as I have so many! I always forget and it is so confusing...

Let's see...there is Vitamin C, MSM, Probiotics, Zinc, Vitamin D, and Cod Liver Oil. Well, it's not that many I guess.



Upon Rising:

4 cups H2O with 500 mg Vit C and MSM

45 Minutes Later/Before Breakfast:

1 Probiotic

Before Lunch:

1 Probiotic

With Lunch:

4000 mg Vitamin D

Before Dinner:

1 Probiotic

With Dinner:

50 mg Zinc, CLO


1 cup H2O with 500 mg Vit C and MSM



Veggies (Yes, I will eat potatoes and carrots), meats, fish, corn flakes, rice bread, almond milk, avocados, green apples, hummus, dark chocolate


Up before 9:00 AM

Asleep by 10:30 PM

Exercise, Sunshine:

As much as I can. I think I will see improvement by taking walks everyday, laying out in the sun, overall just being on the computer less. Spend more time enjoying nature and reading.


As much as I can, always 1.5-2 hours after meals and 45 minutes-1 hour before


So, I am trying to not micromanage, and just let things go with the flow. Take supps, eat healthy, sleep, rest, exercise, and be well.

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