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My Accutane Journal

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lba2008

100 MG!

Hey all,

It's been awhile since I've been here! So I should be entering my sixth month by now (I think). My skin looks a lot better. Much, MUCH smoother. I do get one or two small pimples around my period...which still pissed me off to no end! These past few months I've been really frustrated with the slow progress. I asked my derm if this was normal and he told me I am one of those people whose body metabolizes accutane differently. Basically he was saying that the drug goes through my liver, up about and around...until it finally takes an effect on my skin. Therefore, he said, the first three months of treatment were the equivalent of one month of treatment (GREAT). I began this journey with mild acne, it became kinda moderate I would say, and now I'm left with gross red marks (and maybe some shallow scarring). I can't really tell...they might just be enlarged pores. aye. who knows. I have no active acne at the moment. One on my chin is finally healing up. I use the aspirin mask mixed with my moisturizer. LOVE IT. I swear it is helping so much. I just really want to finally feel pretty, and it's a slow process but I think im going to get there. Side effects suck. Dry hair (maybe thinning? I have so much I can't tell), dry dry skin (with many many bruises and cuts), joints so sore, and fatigue like nothing else. Oh forgot to mention, got upped to 100MG! I Know, a lot, my lips hate me right now. anyway, hope all is well with everyone!

lba2008

Beginning of Month 4

I really cannot believe I have been on the meds this long. I can't wait till my skin is clear and I can get off of this stuff! The fatigue and joint pain plus the dry hair...ugh it sucks! I guess it's a small price to pay for clear skin! Anyway, you'd think I would have stopped breaking out by now...oh but you'd be wrong! Still getting small cysts (at least I think that's what they are) along my jawline. The rest of my face is clearing up...but it's like they scab over and the skin just peels right off my face like a sunburn leaving a red mark in its place...lovely (luckily these marks only last a few days). My face is still pretty dry...although at the end of the day (maybe after 8 or 9 hours) I have just the tiniest bit of oil on my nose and around my hairline (NOTHING like it use to be, I wouldn't even need a blotting sheet for it). I am just hoping this is normal. I really don't wanna go on 80 mg, that just seems like a high dosage for my mild acne. Fingers crossed things improve this week. :)

lba2008

End of month three!!

I honestly cannot believe it. End of month three! geesh. This 60 mg dosage is really doing the trick. I didn't really notice anything on the 20,30 or even 40 mg. Now my face is drying out and it even hurts when I wash it too roughly. It has a slightly pink tint to it, which is a little bit annoying. I have maybe three really small blemishes. Other than that, it's just stuff healing/red marks. I am hoping I don't get another breakout. That is probably the last thing I can handle at the moment! The one thing that is really killing me is the fatigue. I'm actually going back to bed right now! On to month four!

lba2008

Day 86

So I think I miscalculated and now I am almost positive I am on day 86...almost the three month mark! I wish I had been on the 60 mg right from the start. I feel like my progress is a little slower because I took such a low dosage the first two months. Oh well...now I am REALLY feeling the drying out. My skin is flaking off throughout the day. I woke up this AM without anything new on my face. I have two that are under the skin, but I don't think they'll amount to anything (one on my forehead and the other on my right jawline). Everyday I am a little more satisfied with how my face looks. Lets hope this trend continues! One more month and I pray my skin will be clear!!

lba2008

Day 82

So today marks day 82. When I look at my face, it seems so much clearer. I know it's working. I am still having small breakouts (so I'm not clear yet) but I know I make them so much worse by messing with them. I've read other members blogs and it seems like most of you were clear by this point. It actually doesn't make me too nervous though...I started on such a low dose (20 mg) and increased by ten the second month...so this is only my third day on 60 mg...and boy do I feel the difference! My skin is finally starting to REALLY dry out. I was pretty dry before, but now my skin always feels tight...even when I wake up in the morning. It sounds weird, but it's a good feeling (esp when you've had terrible oil for so long). My mom and others comment that my skin looks "smoother and more even." I am glad others are noticing.

I am still feeling terribly self-conscious about my skin. From a few feet away (with make-up on) you can't even tell I have any breakouts (or so I'm told). I still can't shake that awful feeling that everyone is staring at my skin. I haven't really gone out or had any fun recently because I am so self-conscious. I really do feel like I am missing out on life...but I just keep telling myself a few more weeks and I'll have clearer skin and I'll be more willing to get out there and enjoy. Crossed fingers!

lba2008

First day on 60 mg

So today I took my first dosage of 60 mg. Last month I was on 40 mg. I have been having small breakouts on almost a daily basis. Today was the first day I woke up without anything new on my face. I really hope this is a trend! My chin is the worst. Everything else seems to be clearing up. When I wasn't on accutane it seemed like my cheeks would break out, and now its my chin and my jawline. They dry up really fast which is great. Looking in the mirror has become an obsession. My hair stopped falling out. My derm said it was from stress...well im still pretty stressed so maybe it's the special kind of shampoo im using. I've also been experiencing a lot of joint pain, esp in my upper and lower back. I think I need to rest more and drink more water. Lets see what 60 mg does...hopefully something great.

lba2008

Day 76...ish

So today I had to get my pregnancy test...I will be so happy when I'm not running around looking for a freaking quest diagnostics to get my lab tests done! I finally find the place and it's all locked up and shut down! argh. Thank goodness there was a hospital right around the corner. Aye. Life.

My skin is drying out a lot. I'm still breaking out, but they're small, and kind of under the skin. I see this as progress? Anyone else have this happen? The breakouts aren't terrible, they seem to be tapering off with less inflamed acne. This is very possibly wishful thinking!

My derm upped my dosage to 60 mg. He told me I should have clear skin within the next four to eight weeks. Thinking about two more months of breakouts is making me crazy. I just really hope that within the next month things are looking drastically different.

My skin does look different though. No big pores or blackheads. The overall appearance of my skin is smoother and my complexion is more even. My face isn't really red...but it's getting cooler here and since my dosage is going up I fear it might end up happening. I'm really trying to remain positive, but does anyone else feel like their life is on hold until the accutane does it's thing? I sit around obsessing about my skin...even when it looks better! Fingers crossed that these next few weeks bring real results!

lba2008

Day Seventy...Something!

So today I had my appt with my derm. I am so anxious that I'm picking at my skin like crazy (even with the pledge I made to myself to stop). I really made a mess of my chin area (it's all red and peeling). I was so upset when I got to the derm that I almost started crying. He could see that my skin was making me nuts, stressing me out so much I started to lose my hair (which I thought was from the accutane, but he assured me it was from the extreme stress I was under). He gave me some anxiety meds (I'm also seeing a counselor) and upped my dosage to 60 mg. My parents wanted to know if that accutane was causing my stress, but he talked with me for awhile and determined that the stress was caused by the continued breakouts. Thank goodness...the accutane is the only thing that seems like a light at the end of the tunnel. He said my skin still looked like it was producing a fair amount of oil...which was discouraging to hear. I really want this whole process to be over with. I'd love to hide away for a few months until this stuff kicks in. I can barely function at work, let alone go out with friends. I go to work, then hibernate at home. Every week I say, "this week will be better." That hasn't happened yet. Hoping the next few weeks bring some better results.

lba2008

Day 72

So today was espcially hard. My skin is so dry and I am constantly picking at it. I decided I am going to try and break this habit. I had such anxiety trying to get up and put on my make-up. I called my mom in a panic, crying, not being able to breathe, and she was like..."you need to get off of this stuff." I know she is upset because she thinks the meds are making me nuts, but the acne is actually the thing making me lose my mind! I know my skin is better, and I know it will continue to get better. I am doing my best to be patient, it's just so hard. Right now I have no new pimples...It's just everything drying up..which I am going to force myself to look at as encouraging. One day closer to clear skin.

lba2008

This is my first entry! I am hoping in awhile I'll be able to re-read through this and be amazed at my progress. So I'm on day 70 of my accutane course. I began the course at the very beginning of July. I started with 20 mg per day. My doctor put me on accutane not for my severity, but for the persistent nature of my mild acne. I was happy when he put my on 20 mg, because I didn't want to get an initial breakout. My derm assured me that I wouldn't get an IB. After a few weeks, my skin started to get super oily. I didn't really worry simply because I knew I was just getting all the junk out of my pores and I'd soon be super dry. During the first month I did get a few really horrible cysts. I of course can never leave my face alone, and I made them so much worse. When they finally went away (the red marks I just starting to fade now) I thought I might be in the clear. In month two I still broke out, just not as bad. My face was a little drier (I was now on 30 mg per day) but nothing unbearable. This past month (September) I started on 40 mg. Now I can go to work (I just started a new job) and spend the whole day running around and at the end of the day my face doesn't look like an oil slick. Even my pores and blackheads are gone! I mean, that's wonderful for me...but I still breakout, which is a HUGE pain. I am so ready to have it all behind me. It can be such an emotional rollercoaster. I come home and my roommates want to hang out and go out and I feel like I want to be locked in my room, or just lay around...A-because I am so exhausted of having to think about my skin everytime I'm interacting with someone...and B-because I don't want to go out because I am so embarrassed by my breakouts. I hear that in the next month or so I should really see great results. I hope so!

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