(Written April 19th, 2007)
*deep breath* Okay, here it goes.
I've had acne so long I can't remember every having pretty skin.
I'm prone to depression and have pretty bad anxiety attacks. The condition of my skin just exaserbates them. When I'm stressed or lonely I pick at my blemishes. I compare it to a person who cuts or burns themselves. It's all a form of self injury. Logically I know that it's the worse thing a person with acne can do but it's really difficult to stop. Often my skin looks so horrible that I don't even leave my house for weeks at a time which only exaserbates my stress and loneliness. It's a vicious cycle.
I've been to dermatologist after dermatologist and been prescribed everything from benzoperoxide to accutane. I've bought all the over the counter face cleansers, washes, patches and ointments. I've tried proactive. I've had facials in high end spas and then bought their pricey products. Nothings worked.
The only think I haven't tried is being gentle with my face.
When I read that on this site it was an "ah-ha" moment. Duh! My skin is irritated and I'm only irritating it more. You would think that I could have figured that out without someone having to tell me. I try to live the rest of my life "gently" by using (mostly) natural and organic foods, household cleaners, shampoos, conditioners, body lotions and makeup.
So why am I terrorizing my face?!
I wash with the hottest water temperature that I can stand. I scrub and scrub and exfoliate and lather for 5-10 minutes. I only bother to moisturize and medicate my face half the time or I waayy over do it.
No wonder my skin is in such horrible condition!
I already got to my face this morning unfortunately. I scaled and scrubbed and picked and medicated.
Tonight I'm going to try being gentle and hopefully tomorrow will be a little brighter.