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Day 1 of My CSR

I'm embarrased of how the way my face looks without make up. If I had a choice, I would rather not have to cake so much on every morning just to conceal all the redness just to look decent enough for work. My acne has basically taken control of how I feel, act and apparently look. It's kind of difficult trying to be accustom to see my face filled with zits/ tons of white heads/ scars. I didn't have perfect skin when I was in a teenager but I know for sure it wasn't this bad. At least then, I didn't have to wear this much make-up. My breakouts started about 7-8 months ago. I have gone to 2 different dermatologist. The first one, prescribed me Duac and the second doctor had prescribed me retin-a micro and Doryx 100mg. And quite frankly, neither helped me. I knew that there's no quick fixes but I couldn't deal with seeing my reflection in the mirror every morning and wanting to cry. I know that wearing caked on make-up doesn't help the matter but without it I wouldn't be able to step out of the house. I've tried all of the informercial products out there and either my acne stayed the same or became worse. I constantly tell myself that it's probably a phase, but my question is when will this acne phase end? Because it was tearing my self-confidence down... or what's left of it. It has been very difficult talking to people because instead of making eye contact with me... their eyes tend to wander off and look at certain areas of my face. And I would throw in joke just to ease the pain. "Hey stop trying to connect the dots with my face." :D But as they laugh... I frown inside. I try my best to not let my face bother me, but unfortunately it does. It's the first thing that I see in the morning... my face filled with red bumps. And from all that I turned to the internet... where the information are at our fingertips. I googled... "ACNE" and www.acne.org was the first site that was listed. And here I am... in hopes to find not a cure but something to contol my breakouts. So I'm jotting my journey to clear skin with those that share my pain.... I don't want to feel I'm worthless and UGLY anymore....

    From the album:

    My CSR Experiment

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    Photo Information for Day 1 of My CSR


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    What sort of regimen are you using to clear up your skin right now? It sounds like you're a perfect candidate for accutane, a couple months and I'm sure you would see awesome results! Don't let your skin get you down, it's too easy to opt out and get deprest. The best(and healthiest) way at dealing with it is to stick it out with a smile until you eventually start seeing results. I'm sure everyone on this website has experienced emotional stress to some degree from acne, so we're all in the same boat and rootin' for ya! :|

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    Hi and thanks! It's great to have people know where I'm coming from since all my friends can't quite get it. They can obviously see it but can't quite comprehend where I'm coming from... mind you they have clear skin. *sigh* great for them... unlucky for me.

    As for my regimen I'm following the basics steps so far that's on this site. First, washing my face gently with gentle cleanser (something I purchased from my dermatologist), then... apply the Neutrogena On-the-spot treatment and lastly... moisturize with Cetaphil. And of course apply my make up. :| And once I get home... the same steps for the evening.

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    I would definitely go with accutane; push your dermatolgist to give it too you. My acne was exactly like yours and I took accutane for about 5 months and it cleared it right up. Unforunately I have acne scars from the cycstic acne I had. It is definitely painful and depressing to see yourself like that. I can totally relate. I would not go out with my friends and only left the house when I absolutely had to i.e. work and the grocery store. I felt like a hermit. I am still trying to get my self confidence back but it is definitely hard. I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need to talk I am willing to listen! :|

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    Im glad u found this site, its all about support here and people that can actualy understand ur pain.

    I think accutane will be ur best bet and it will def. change ur life, like it changed mine. goodluck nd welcome

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    yeah, it sucks so bad. your entry really hit home...i had to do my first major presentation at my new job with a serious breakout. i'm tough, but sometimes i'm not sure how many more fake smiles / jokes i need to give people so they don't feel uncomfortable about my acne...my coworker even commented that i'm not the same girl they originally hired...that hurt so bad, but of course, i laughed it off...

    also recently, my neighbor came over and my husband had answered the door...i didn't have my makeup on...i hid under the bed because i was so ashamed. i just did not have any more self confidence to spare that day...

    at this point, i've learned to deal with it. i don't put too much makeup on because i'm just so sick of the way it feels. and my skin is so oily, makeup doesn't stay put anyways. i work in marketing and everyone is so pretty and made up...i feel extra ugly at work.

    If you find anything that works, please share. i have what you have, but mostly on my chin and mouth. good luck and i thank you for you post. all my friends have glowing skin. they tell me to drink more water and eat better...i think my problem is either hormonal inbalance or my liver is not processing toxins efficiently... i need to do more research...will share if i find anything.

    Good luck!!

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    hey, i just wanna tell that u'r acne is much more better than mine, ok? don't get upset, cause u know what there r ppl with much worse conditions than your's so it's kinda plus huh? about embarrasing to talk to other ppl and lack of self confidence, i just wanna say don't be, cause u know what? ppl don't care about you're skin if u have other interesting futures, if u'r gonna act that u'r embarrased then they will think what's wrong with this girl and then they will pay attention to u'r skin. so try to work on u'r personality, anyway i'm sure u'r a cool person, be patient on what u'r doing about u'r skin, cause one day it'll get better. i've made a lots of kind of stuff to treat my acne, so my skin is like sometimes ok, i'm happy about it, sometimes oh my god kkk. so i've got used to it, now it's oooooh my god kkk, but i have no time and strength to deal with it right this moment cause i'm preparing for exams. anyway, don't get upset, listen to what i said, i'm sure it'll get better, until then just put on make up, and make a cloudy eye make up on your eyes, that way ppl will pay more attention to u'r eyes when the'll meet u( on my own experience kkk). please don't get upset, life is beautiful, enjoy it.

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    hey, i just wanna tell that u'r acne is much more better than mine, ok? don't get upset, cause u know what there r ppl with much worse conditions than your's so it's kinda plus huh? about embarrasing to talk to other ppl and lack of self confidence, i just wanna say don't be, cause u know what? ppl don't care about you're skin if u have other interesting futures, if u'r gonna act that u'r embarrased then they will think what's wrong with this girl and then they will pay attention to u'r skin. so try to work on u'r personality, anyway i'm sure u'r a cool person, be patient on what u'r doing about u'r skin, cause one day it'll get better. i've made a lots of kind of stuff to treat my acne, so my skin is like sometimes ok, i'm happy about it, sometimes oh my god kkk. so i've got used to it, now it's oooooh my god kkk, but i have no time and strength to deal with it right this moment cause i'm preparing for exams. anyway, don't get upset, listen to what i said, i'm sure it'll get better, until then just put on make up, and make a cloudy eye make up on your eyes, that way ppl will pay more attention to u'r eyes when the'll meet u( on my own experience kkk). please don't get upset, life is beautiful, enjoy it.

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    hey, i just wanna tell that u'r acne is much more better than mine, ok? don't get upset, cause u know what there r ppl with much worse conditions than your's so it's kinda plus huh? about embarrasing to talk to other ppl and lack of self confidence, i just wanna say don't be, cause u know what? ppl don't care about you're skin if u have other interesting futures, if u'r gonna act that u'r embarrased then they will think what's wrong with this girl and then they will pay attention to u'r skin. so try to work on u'r personality, anyway i'm sure u'r a cool person, be patient on what u'r doing about u'r skin, cause one day it'll get better. i've made a lots of kind of stuff to treat my acne, so my skin is like sometimes ok, i'm happy about it, sometimes oh my god kkk. so i've got used to it, now it's oooooh my god kkk, but i have no time and strength to deal with it right this moment cause i'm preparing for exams. anyway, don't get upset, listen to what i said, i'm sure it'll get better, until then just put on make up, and make a cloudy eye make up on your eyes, that way ppl will pay more attention to u'r eyes when the'll meet u( on my own experience kkk). please don't get upset, life is beautiful, enjoy it.

    Share this comment


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    hey, i just wanna tell that u'r acne is much more better than mine, ok? don't get upset, cause u know what there r ppl with much worse conditions than your's so it's kinda plus huh? about embarrasing to talk to other ppl and lack of self confidence, i just wanna say don't be, cause u know what? ppl don't care about you're skin if u have other interesting futures, if u'r gonna act that u'r embarrased then they will think what's wrong with this girl and then they will pay attention to u'r skin. so try to work on u'r personality, anyway i'm sure u'r a cool person, be patient on what u'r doing about u'r skin, cause one day it'll get better. i've made a lots of kind of stuff to treat my acne, so my skin is like sometimes ok, i'm happy about it, sometimes oh my god kkk. so i've got used to it, now it's oooooh my god kkk, but i have no time and strength to deal with it right this moment cause i'm preparing for exams. anyway, don't get upset, listen to what i said, i'm sure it'll get better, until then just put on make up, and make a cloudy eye make up on your eyes, that way ppl will pay more attention to u'r eyes when the'll meet u( on my own experience kkk). please don't get upset, life is beautiful, enjoy it.

    Share this comment


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    hey, i just wanna tell that u'r acne is much more better than mine, ok? don't get upset, cause u know what there r ppl with much worse conditions than your's so it's kinda plus huh? about embarrasing to talk to other ppl and lack of self confidence, i just wanna say don't be, cause u know what? ppl don't care about you're skin if u have other interesting futures, if u'r gonna act that u'r embarrased then they will think what's wrong with this girl and then they will pay attention to u'r skin. so try to work on u'r personality, anyway i'm sure u'r a cool person, be patient on what u'r doing about u'r skin, cause one day it'll get better. i've made a lots of kind of stuff to treat my acne, so my skin is like sometimes ok, i'm happy about it, sometimes oh my god kkk. so i've got used to it, now it's oooooh my god kkk, but i have no time and strength to deal with it right this moment cause i'm preparing for exams. anyway, don't get upset, listen to what i said, i'm sure it'll get better, until then just put on make up, and make a cloudy eye make up on your eyes, that way ppl will pay more attention to u'r eyes when the'll meet u( on my own experience kkk). please don't get upset, life is beautiful, enjoy it.

    Share this comment


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    hey, i just wanna tell that u'r acne is much more better than mine, ok? don't get upset, cause u know what there r ppl with much worse conditions than your's so it's kinda plus huh? about embarrasing to talk to other ppl and lack of self confidence, i just wanna say don't be, cause u know what? ppl don't care about you're skin if u have other interesting futures, if u'r gonna act that u'r embarrased then they will think what's wrong with this girl and then they will pay attention to u'r skin. so try to work on u'r personality, anyway i'm sure u'r a cool person, be patient on what u'r doing about u'r skin, cause one day it'll get better. i've made a lots of kind of stuff to treat my acne, so my skin is like sometimes ok, i'm happy about it, sometimes oh my god kkk. so i've got used to it, now it's oooooh my god kkk, but i have no time and strength to deal with it right this moment cause i'm preparing for exams. anyway, don't get upset, listen to what i said, i'm sure it'll get better, until then just put on make up, and make a cloudy eye make up on your eyes, that way ppl will pay more attention to u'r eyes when the'll meet u( on my own experience kkk). please don't get upset, life is beautiful, enjoy it.

    Share this comment


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    hey, i just wanna tell that u'r acne is much more better than mine, ok? don't get upset, cause u know what there r ppl with much worse conditions than your's so it's kinda plus huh? about embarrasing to talk to other ppl and lack of self confidence, i just wanna say don't be, cause u know what? ppl don't care about you're skin if u have other interesting futures, if u'r gonna act that u'r embarrased then they will think what's wrong with this girl and then they will pay attention to u'r skin. so try to work on u'r personality, anyway i'm sure u'r a cool person, be patient on what u'r doing about u'r skin, cause one day it'll get better. i've made a lots of kind of stuff to treat my acne, so my skin is like sometimes ok, i'm happy about it, sometimes oh my god kkk. so i've got used to it, now it's oooooh my god kkk, but i have no time and strength to deal with it right this moment cause i'm preparing for exams. anyway, don't get upset, listen to what i said, i'm sure it'll get better, until then just put on make up, and make a cloudy eye make up on your eyes, that way ppl will pay more attention to u'r eyes when the'll meet u( on my own experience kkk). please don't get upset, life is beautiful, enjoy it.

    Share this comment


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    hey, i just wanna tell that u'r acne is much more better than mine, ok? don't get upset, cause u know what there r ppl with much worse conditions than your's so it's kinda plus huh? about embarrasing to talk to other ppl and lack of self confidence, i just wanna say don't be, cause u know what? ppl don't care about you're skin if u have other interesting futures, if u'r gonna act that u'r embarrased then they will think what's wrong with this girl and then they will pay attention to u'r skin. so try to work on u'r personality, anyway i'm sure u'r a cool person, be patient on what u'r doing about u'r skin, cause one day it'll get better. i've made a lots of kind of stuff to treat my acne, so my skin is like sometimes ok, i'm happy about it, sometimes oh my god kkk. so i've got used to it, now it's oooooh my god kkk, but i have no time and strength to deal with it right this moment cause i'm preparing for exams. anyway, don't get upset, listen to what i said, i'm sure it'll get better, until then just put on make up, and make a cloudy eye make up on your eyes, that way ppl will pay more attention to u'r eyes when the'll meet u( on my own experience kkk). please don't get upset, life is beautiful, enjoy it.

    Share this comment


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    hey, i just wanna tell that u'r acne is much more better than mine, ok? don't get upset, cause u know what there r ppl with much worse conditions than your's so it's kinda plus huh? about embarrasing to talk to other ppl and lack of self confidence, i just wanna say don't be, cause u know what? ppl don't care about you're skin if u have other interesting futures, if u'r gonna act that u'r embarrased then they will think what's wrong with this girl and then they will pay attention to u'r skin. so try to work on u'r personality, anyway i'm sure u'r a cool person, be patient on what u'r doing about u'r skin, cause one day it'll get better. i've made a lots of kind of stuff to treat my acne, so my skin is like sometimes ok, i'm happy about it, sometimes oh my god kkk. so i've got used to it, now it's oooooh my god kkk, but i have no time and strength to deal with it right this moment cause i'm preparing for exams. anyway, don't get upset, listen to what i said, i'm sure it'll get better, until then just put on make up, and make a cloudy eye make up on your eyes, that way ppl will pay more attention to u'r eyes when the'll meet u( on my own experience kkk). please don't get upset, life is beautiful, enjoy it.

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    I really know how you feel. I'm so uncomfortable with my skin that I have to wait until my boyfriend goes to bed before I wash my face. I hate when he stares at me because I'm always thinking he's just looking at my zits and scars. I don't know... I just can't wait to get through this slow journey out of hell.

    P.S. I hate wearing make up as well..

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    Hey,

    Your posting really resonated with me. I've basically isolated myself in my own home. Even when I have to go out to work at my part time job, some days I would so depressed and would almost not be able to leave my home. I avoid all eye contact...it's honestly been such a struggle. Glad to see that you are sharing your experiences!

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