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Beejay

AFAIFNAifuansfiuasfiua fi!11!!1

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I hate this shit. I feel like I want to explode in emotion but I can't do anything, nobody wants to hear about depression, it just pisses everyone off. What is a depressed lonely guy to do? :mad:

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I typed out a post a sec ago and decided against posting it because it was depressing as hell. -_- But you'll pretty much get the gist of what I'm thinking if I do post it.

Basically, I'm depressed as hell and I can't see the point of doing anything anymore. I'm sick of myself and the way I think.

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not answered my question man

obviously ur upset / feelin a bit depressed

but why

whats brought thison?

ur usually one of the more upbeat org members

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Thats a facade I guess.. I spend most of my time alone thinking about stuff that leads me into depressed states of mind. Thats why I barely post at all, I only ever post when I'm feeling okay, or when I'm feeling like utter shit. Right now I'm at the lower end of the spectrum..

So yeah, the vast majority of the time I'm a bit misanthropic and depressed, it seems like my whole life is just a search for sympathy to keep me sane until the next crash of mood.

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why dont u find a way to stop being on here?

wen i broke up with my longterm gf i was FUCKED in lack of a better word

she was my world and it fel apart 1friday evening when she told me she been sleepin with someone at work

(after our 2year relationship an i had no idea)

but i pulled my socks up an changed my job an joined the gym

u meet people at places like gyms an ur lifestyle changes with that

u might end up after a few months goin gym with them an stuf an hanging out a lot more

an not feelin like u gotta go online.

but i know what u mean

im sometimes like you in real life

searching for sympathy wen i feel a bit shitty.

but if you understand your doing it then u can stop

and it sounds a bit gay but you can make a conscious decision to be more positive.

i went to a 4day conference for work and the main topic was "chosing your mood"

and its very true. depressed people chose to let things get them down a lot of the time when they could make a conscious decision to PUSH past it an take it in their stride.

im aware this isnt the case with every1 and those people dont like hearing that post

but at my conference i realised i chose to be sad sometimes when i could quite as easily chose to be more upbeat.

BJ i suggest (if you want)

go on2 Amazon.com or somethin

an buy

"fish" the book on raising moralle at work(and personal life)

its only a short book with the true story of a fishmarket that is the most popular in the world simply because they DECIDED To make themselves more upbeat and have a good time (throwing fish to eachother over the customers etc)

this relates basically to the fact that its so easy to become positive if you try.

ps cheer up Beejay! ura good member on here an i jus spent ages there typin all that to make u feel better :D

hehe

chin up son

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why dont u find a way to stop being on here?

wen i broke up with my longterm gf i was FUCKED in lack of a better word

she was my world and it fel apart 1friday evening when she told me she been sleepin with someone at work

(after our 2year relationship an i had no idea)

but i pulled my socks up an changed my job an joined the gym

u meet people at places like gyms an ur lifestyle changes with that

u might end up after a few months goin gym with them an stuf an hanging out a lot more

an not feelin like u gotta go online.

but i know what u mean

im sometimes like you in real life

searching for sympathy wen i feel a bit shitty.

but if you understand your doing it then u can stop

and it sounds a bit gay but you can make a conscious decision to be more positive.

i went to a 4day conference for work and the main topic was "chosing your mood"

and its very true. depressed people chose to let things get them down a lot of the time when they could make a conscious decision to PUSH past it an take it in their stride.

im aware this isnt the case with every1 and those people dont like hearing that post

but at my conference i realised i chose to be sad sometimes when i could quite as easily chose to be more upbeat.

BJ i suggest (if you want)

go on2 Amazon.com or somethin

an buy

"fish" the book on raising moralle at work(and personal life)

its only a short book with the true story of a fishmarket that is the most popular in the world simply because they DECIDED To make themselves more upbeat and have a good time (throwing fish to eachother over the customers etc)

this relates basically to the fact that its so easy to become positive if you try.

ps cheer up Beejay! ura good member on here an i jus spent ages there typin all that to make u feel better :D

hehe

chin up son

Thanks.. but.. I seem to have a habit of making anyone I meet dislike me after a few months. I don't see much point in meeting peopl e if I'm just going to fuck it up constantly. Also I highly disagree with part of your post.. Just half an hour ago I tried to force myself to feel better, you know, fake smiles and all that bullshit. Didn't work, I still had a deep pain in my gut, a typical response to emotional pain for me.

I don't have any hope right now. I completely doubt that I could force myself to feel okay most of the time, I always end up thinking myself into sadness.. Hell, I dont even believe you when you say I'ma good member on here. I'm that damn paranoid, I pretty much think everyone on this forum hates me and ignores me, with the exception of two members I talk to on MSN.

I hate my mind. :(

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ps its not about "forcing yourself" to be happy

its making a conscious effort to be more upbeat thats all man

there is a large difference

anyone can fake smile

but uve gotta start to believe ur happy.

thats the key

I wouldn't have a clue how to lie to myself and believe it like that..

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ps its not about "forcing yourself" to be happy

its making a conscious effort to be more upbeat thats all man

there is a large difference

anyone can fake smile

but uve gotta start to believe ur happy.

thats the key

a LOT of people have it worse than u

i was lookin yesterday with my gf for pics of Michael jackson when he was in Jackson 5 as i wanted to show her how cool he looked back in the day

but i stumbled on this site:

http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=h...%3Doff%26sa%3DN

(if you search for "abc 123" on google

an then click on images ul find it

all them pics are of some flesh eating virus in africa.

just look at some of them poor bastards beejay an ul start to realise just how lucky u are.

coz thats exactly i felt

i said to the beautiful girl i was with

"fuck me it puts acne into perspective doesnt it"

an its true man

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all them pics are of some flesh eating virus in africa.

just look at some of them poor bastards beejay an ul start to realise just how lucky u are.

coz thats exactly i felt

i said to the beautiful girl i was with

"fuck me it puts acne into perspective doesnt it"

an its true man

For some reason that kind of stuff just has no impact on me at all.. Everyone has their own level of problems. A kid worrying about getting a deadly virus might feel the same amount of worry that I feel when I think that I'm going to die alone.. Its all relative. -_-

Anyway.. I'm told that I focus on negatives too much.. So comparing my "luck" to these people in Africa just doesn't gel in my head, ever..

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its not about comparing your "luck"

its about realising ur pretty lucky

these people are literally dying and no1 can help them.

you live in the style of society when if u cut urself u go2 hospital an a trained proffesional fixes ya!

its about putting your life into perspective man.

an u aint gonna die alone.

my bestmate has never been with a girl EVER an is 21.

never kissed never anythin.

an yet he is upbeat more than me.

he realises that that isnt gonna last and that at some point it wil happen

uve gotta realise that aswel

the

"ima die alone" theory at this age is absolutely silly!

ur stil a young pup an u got PLENTY of time in ur life man!

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its not about comparing your "luck"

its about realising ur pretty lucky

these people are literally dying and no1 can help them.

you live in the style of society when if u cut urself u go2 hospital an a trained proffesional fixes ya!

its about putting your life into perspective man.

an u aint gonna die alone.

my bestmate has never been with a girl EVER an is 21.

never kissed never anythin.

an yet he is upbeat more than me.

he realises that that isnt gonna last and that at some point it wil happen

uve gotta realise that aswel

the

"ima die alone" theory at this age is absolutely silly!

ur stil a young pup an u got PLENTY of time in ur life man!

I honestly dont believe its ever going to happen for me.. I'm 20 and never been kissed either. Also, With the way I am, I might as well just swap places with some dying African, he'll be so happy in my position, and I'll probably be in about the same level of misery over there.. Seems only fair. I have no idea how to "put my life into perspective", sure I have all these typical things people have in decent countries but it just means nothing to me..

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dont make me come over there Beejay an kick ur ass hehe (jus kidding)

uve gotta realise most people find love at some point in their life.

my nextdoor neighborough of 77 recently fel inlove with someone she met on a cruise and is GETTING MARRIED!

at her age lol.

uve gotta realise that love finds you, you dont find love.

and if you are like me (which ur prob not) i believe in karma, if your good and deserve it, it wil happen.

and you seem like a good lad beejay. you deserve to be happy and therefore you wil be happy and get what you want at some point.

chin up brother

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dont make me come over there Beejay an kick ur ass hehe (jus kidding)

uve gotta realise most people find love at some point in their life.

my nextdoor neighborough of 77 recently fel inlove with someone she met on a cruise and is GETTING MARRIED!

at her age lol.

uve gotta realise that love finds you, you dont find love.

and if you are like me (which ur prob not) i believe in karma, if your good and deserve it, it wil happen.

and you seem like a good lad beejay. you deserve to be happy and therefore you wil be happy and get what you want at some point.

chin up brother

I wish that was true.. I've had a problem with social anxiety most of my life, even now I instinctively avoid social situations because I'm afraid of the pain. You don't meet people that way. The ones I do meet while out drunk? I seem to fuck it up 80% of the time.. I dunno what is really wrong with my personality, but something is definitely wrong.. I know I'm not perfect.. Nobody is.. So why is it that people who seem so fucked seem to be able to get places and be happy? I just dont get it.. Karma can't really exist.

Oh and about the 77 year old love thing? I'm kind of obsessed with beauty right now.. Like I said in another thread ages ago, all I want is a girl that is pretty enough that I can tell her she's beautiful and be honest. I guess it might be perverse and shallow or something, but I would've liked to have been able to enjoy beauty while I was young... Time is running out fast.

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i personally find girls that arnt naturally beautiful, to be the most beautiful.

ive dated many "attractive" girls an what ive learned is the are the hardest to date

as there is always another guy tryin to get in her pants.

i now find beauty in the pretty girls but the shyer ones

they are more than perfect to me

i love shy girls coz wen they cuddle up2u at night an tel u for the 1st tiem they they have never been so happy

its the nicest feeling.

an YOU wil find that beejay

uve got ages an like i said

ur stil a young pup!

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i personally find girls that arnt naturally beautiful, to be the most beautiful.

ive dated many "attractive" girls an what ive learned is the are the hardest to date

as there is always another guy tryin to get in her pants.

i now find beauty in the pretty girls but the shyer ones

they are more than perfect to me

i love shy girls coz wen they cuddle up2u at night an tel u for the 1st tiem they they have never been so happy

its the nicest feeling.

an YOU wil find that beejay

uve got ages an like i said

ur stil a young pup!

Thats exactly what I want.. I have preconceptions about those girls who seem perfect and dress up way too much, I figure they're full of themselves and think they can get any guy. Maybe the attraction has evolved from these thoughts, but regardless, now I find myself unattracted to typical beauty shit like tallness, blonde hair and tans. I guess its a good thing, but it doesn't matter in the end because I can't meet anyone with the way I am.

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arghhhhh!

*bitchslaps beejay*

ur only young

if u relax and stop thinkin about females ul meet them heeh

its how it works always for me

if i go out drinking with the intention to meet a chicken.. i wont

if i go out with the intention to hang with my mates an relax

ill meet lots of chickens hehe

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arghhhhh!

*bitchslaps beejay*

ur only young

if u relax and stop thinkin about females ul meet them heeh

its how it works always for me

if i go out drinking with the intention to meet a chicken.. i wont

if i go out with the intention to hang with my mates an relax

ill meet lots of chickens hehe

I never go out with that intention at all, or think about it while I'm out and about.. I just try to concentrate on not being a social fuckup. I think about it when I get home, almost instantly, and wish that I had met someone during any such night out. It just never damn happens, I meet almost no girls, and especially none that I'd be interested in.

It's not good for my paranoia this shit.. So you meet lots and don't try? I don't try and meet none.. I must be ugly as sin.

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uve gotta try an radiate a bit of confidence

my bestmate who wil remain nameless on here lol

isnt the best lookin guy 2b fair

i work with him an he is a right good person.

but the girls love him... like adore him

an its because he is confident but not in a arrogant way

he does it in a way so they think he is confident an yet also a nice guy.

try an be a bit more confident man

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uve gotta try an radiate a bit of confidence

my bestmate who wil remain nameless on here lol

isnt the best lookin guy 2b fair

i work with him an he is a right good person.

but the girls love him... like adore him

an its because he is confident but not in a arrogant way

he does it in a way so they think he is confident an yet also a nice guy.

try an be a bit more confident man

Well shit.. How do you radiate confidence? I don't understand.. When you're drinking doesn't the confidence rolls out anyway? Is it just.. talking louder? Or something.. I dont get it at all. *sigh* Why did I have to be this way.

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its about intelligence at that point

uve gotta think of things to say

try ur ABSOLUTE hardest to keep eye contact more than you would usually so they get 2c ur eyes and also that they know ur interested in them.

think of things 2say that they can relate to.

and try an make phsical contact.

lastnite a girl was talkin 2me an bein all confident an i was bein all nice2her coz some guy stood her up

an all she did was put her hand on mine as we sat there drinkin

WOW did i fuckin know about it

PROPER butterflies for no reason at all other than that.

she knew what she was doin thats all.

its true man

but u might simply not be a confident person

it doesnt matter

a girl wil find u attractive as u are man, but that is my key to confidence lol (not that im very confident at all compared to most people but i get by)

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its about intelligence at that point

uve gotta think of things to say

try ur ABSOLUTE hardest to keep eye contact more than you would usually so they get 2c ur eyes and also that they know ur interested in them.

think of things 2say that they can relate to.

and try an make phsical contact.

lastnite a girl was talkin 2me an bein all confident an i was bein all nice2her coz some guy stood her up

an all she did was put her hand on mine as we sat there drinkin

WOW did i fuckin know about it

PROPER butterflies for no reason at all other than that.

she knew what she was doin thats all.

its true man

but u might simply not be a confident person

it doesnt matter

a girl wil find u attractive as u are man, but that is my key to confidence lol (not that im very confident at all compared to most people but i get by)

Ehh well I find that if I keep eye contact I feel like I'm staring.. I've noticed theres two kinds of eye contact and I'm not sure if the other person notices it or not. Theres the one I have when I feel okay and it's just regular eye contact, and theres the one where I feel like I'm staring so I keep looking away because I feel weird.

Anyway, how the hell are you supposed to be in a situation such as the one you were in if you just don't meet any girls at all?

Bahh I just wish it was possible for girls to find my stupid insecurity endearing or some shit.

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they wil man!

ul be fine an meet sum1 trust

be patient and enjoy bein single coz TRUST me

if love goes pear shaped

ul be more pissed off than u are now lol.

i felt the worse ive ever felt wen my ex left me like 2years ago

an i stil think about her (sometimes) but only wen im bein a right soppy idiot

an i soon snap myself out of that

newho beejay im off out 2get some smokes so i wont reply 2 this post for a few mins

but pm me if u want or anything man.

chin up brother!

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they wil man!

ul be fine an meet sum1 trust

be patient and enjoy bein single coz TRUST me

if love goes pear shaped

ul be more pissed off than u are now lol.

i felt the worse ive ever felt wen my ex left me like 2years ago

an i stil think about her (sometimes) but only wen im bein a right soppy idiot

an i soon snap myself out of that

newho beejay im off out 2get some smokes so i wont reply 2 this post for a few mins

but pm me if u want or anything man.

chin up brother!

Okay. :doubt:

Thanks Damian.. I'm surprised you put up with me this long tbh.

Hrmm, isn't it ironic how you can be inconfident due to your lack of confidence? Stupid mind.

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I'll give you a tip- If you call girls chicken you probably won't get anywhere with them! :lol:

Beejay, I know acne can be depressing and its hard to see how lucky you are but theres thousands of people who would kill to have your life and the opportunities you have. As far as I see it, it isn't fair if you chose not to make the most of the.

I know its easier said then done but life's only short, live it while you

can ;)

For example, how about for a start, when people ask you stuff, say 'yes' to everything. I saw this thing on tv once about a man who did this when he was depressed after a man he met on a bus suggested it to him and it turned his life around, could be worth a go!? :)

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