The Story of My Greed

[sally 0]

Human beings are funny this way. Or perhaps it's just me. Before acne came, I was unhappy with my nose, the colour of my skin, my size. Then I had cystic acne and I told myself I would be happy once the acne clears up. So the acne cleared up and I told myself I would be happy once the dark marks are gone. Then the dark marks slowly faded and I told myself I'd be happy once the scars are gone. I'd forgotten my anguish when I had acne. Now the acne is back, nasty, bumpy, underground, and I so wish I am the way I was, scars and all.

Maybe there's a way to psycho yourself into being happy, acne or not. Shut out the glances from others, the pitying , curious or just revolted looks.

Why are we acne sufferers so unhappy? One of the reasons is that we don't want others to "devalue" us because of our acne. How do we get around that? By having a strong sense of self-worth. But its easier said than done.

Are there any positive emotional effects of acne? Acne has made me acutely self conscious of my skin, whatever state it is in. It has made me more hesitant to judge others. It is definitely a humbling disease.

When I have really bad acne, the hardest thing for me to do is go out and face the world. It is so much easier to hide. It is in fact what I do. But if I could just go out and live my life normally, look people in the eye despite knowing that they're looking at my skin, I know that at the end of it all I will gain respect for myself.

Just some random rantings from a very tired, very depressed person.

[Caleeb 0]

[SCAR 4]

yes u r rite acne is a humbling disease

because of acne i learn not to judge and jump to quick decisions, one can never see whats inside a person.

but screw it, i think i've had enough of this humbling disease

[mandala 1]

acne has had an opposite effect on me. i find that on the outside i am much more humble, but on the inside my ego is raging as ever. i stroke and boost my ego on the inside to make myself feel better when i am self concious about my skin, and doing it so much has created this warped sense of self and self esteem. i sometimes feel these delusions of grandeur that i know are wrong. even though i am humble right now, and nicer to others i suppose, its really because im too busy freaking out about my skin to be doing anything else. i feel more an elitist prick than ever, and if and when my skin clears up, i can't even imagine what it's going to feel like inside anymore. i'm really curious to see.

[sally 0]

mandala i dont think u intended to be funny but i find your post funny all the same.. Are you serious? Does that ego-stroking actually work? I know it wouldn't work on me because I won't believe what I am feeding myself... haha...

Well one very sad effect of acne for me is how my self-consciousness regarding my skin actually robs me of carefreeness... I feel like I can't be spontaneous, I can't fully enjoy a happy moment with my bf, because I'm worried about the ugly spectacle that is my skin. And then I think, why should I feel this way? I can choose how i want to feel.... right?

[mandala 1]

before you go out, just look in the mirror from like at least 7 feet away so you cant really see your acne and just go "i'm a fucking rockstar" "i'm so fucking beautiful it's sick. i am basically god. basically."

[Dohdamnnotagain 0]

Ambition. Mandala, there is nothing wrong with it.

Deliusions of grandeur are not delusions, whatsoever unless you never materialize them

[skunkanansie 0]

there are times when i get done up to go out, and i look in the mirror and tell myself im hot....and it puts me in the right state of mind to have fun...so i see where your coming from.

[Animal 0]

I think that possibly they are delusions if he's thinks he's god, possibly?

[R4chel 0]

there are times when i get done up to go out, and i look in the mirror and tell myself im hot....and it puts me in the right state of mind to have fun...so i see where your coming from.