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Guest beanz

and the loneliness takes over

Guest beanz

it seems like anytime i stay home on the weekend, i end up feeling really sad and lonely. i just woke up from like a 5 hour nap and i really don't feel good at all. there's this guy i've been thinking about a lot lately and i was supposed to hang out with him and his friends (who are also my friends) last night but he changed his mind at the last minute to hang out with 2 of his guy friends...i'm pretty sure he knew i was going and i think if he was interested, he wouldn't have changed his mind. and on top of that, his friend found out i was crushin on him and said he would see what he could do about it. i told him not to make me seem desperate or anything but i dunno whats gonna happen. i haven't heard from him all day today so that doesn't seem like a good sign.

i haven't had a boyfriend since last july. i say it's because i'm too picky but it's probably more because i'm afraid. to be honest...the only serious boyfriends i've had, i've met over the net. one lived about 3 1/2 hours away and the other lived in ohio...everytime i think about that, it makes me feel like such a loser. i really don't know what's wrong with me. i feel soooo ugly sometimes...and this skin situation doesn't help any. i never want anyone to see me without make up. i'm constantly re-applying my make up so it gets to look kinda cakey and fake and i hate it so much because it makes ME feel fake but i can't go out without it on. i've never even let my boyfriends see me without it.

i know this all sounds really highschool-ish and unimportant but it really hurts when you want someone to love and there's not even a prospect. i feel like in a lot of my free time, i just lock myself in my room and get online or listen to music. it doesn't help tho because i always end up feeling like i just wasted so much time. when i feel like my skin looks bad, i don't want to even go outside. i know that dealing with my bad skin has kinda morphed me as a person. sometimes i feel so socially awkward because i'm always wondering what people think about the way i look. i'm never satisfied with my appearance and i don't really know if i will ever be. it's hard to deal with that and make yourself seem totally confident. :cry: i just don't know how to fix myself

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Lonliness? no no, being 14 and being cooped up in your room not being able to talk to girls is lonliness. And uve had a relationship before. As for me, well i got squat.

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Guest beanz

yeah i don't even think you could call those real relationships...and i'm almost 20 years old

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Guest Grow_To_Overthrow

Sorry to hear that you're lonely, i've been where you are and i can sympathise with what you're feeling. The hardest thing is that you can't force a relationship, otherwise you're just going to end up with another bomb.

An attractive girl like you should just focus her energies on positive things that build character. You don't need a mate to boost your confidence and happiness.

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Guest beanz

you're right, i shouldn't depend on anybody to make me happy. i know my time will come and all that but its so hard waiting for the right person to come along when you don't even know if they're coming. i don't see myself dating anyone anytime soon. i wish love potion worked...

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a beautiful girl like u should have confidence........u are way ahead of most ppl...maybe u should go out once without any makeup on at all and see all the different things u are feeling and if anyone really treats u any different..put yourself thru little tests so u can grow into a woman now and also not to worry about what a guy thinks...shrug it off and do your thing...make yourself number 1 and act like u are the best and u will be..

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Guest beanz

yeah thats the problem...i have tons of red marks that you could see without the makeup on. theres like no chance in hell i would take off my makeup in front of people while i still look like this. i just can't...i can't even look people in the eye on the rare occasion that i'm not wearing makeup in public. i always feel so ugly...and it's definitely noticable. trust me. i would love to be able to go out natural but i can't as long as i feel this way about myself. i think i do make myself number 1...i would say i'm a fairly independent person. i'm like everybody else tho...i want someone to share myself with.

and you guys are really nice for all the compliments...i just wish i FELT beautiful

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Guest Grow_To_Overthrow

a beautiful girl like u should have confidence........u are way ahead of most ppl...maybe u should go out once without any makeup on at all and see all the different things u are feeling and if anyone really treats u any different..put yourself thru little tests so u can grow into a woman now and also not to worry about what a guy thinks...shrug it off and do your thing...make yourself number 1 and act like u are the best and u will be..

Hey, is that you Tenshi? :think:

yeah thats the problem...i have tons of red marks that you could see without the makeup on. theres like no chance in hell i would take off my makeup in front of people while i still look like this. i just can't...i can't even look people in the eye on the rare occasion that i'm not wearing makeup in public. i always feel so ugly...and it's definitely noticable. trust me. i would love to be able to go out natural but i can't as long as i feel this way about myself. i think i do make myself number 1...i would say i'm a fairly independent person. i'm like everybody else tho...i want someone to share myself with.

and you guys are really nice for all the compliments...i just wish i FELT beautiful

Well if it's any concession, if i lived closer i'd hang out with you. You don't need a boyfriend, you just need positive people around you. That way you could make those steps towards feeling confident! :D And i truly do think you're an attractive girl.

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Lonliness? no no, being 14 and being cooped up in your room not being able to talk to girls is lonliness. And uve had a relationship before. As for me, well i got squat.

You're only 14. I'll be 22 in a couple weeks and I only really started talking to girls (and eventually a gf) six months ago. Being lonely and sad sucks but it's also unavoidable no matter what your situation. Having a partner isn't guaranteed to change it. You have to love yourself, before you love someone else.

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Guest beanz

Lonliness? no no, being 14 and being cooped up in your room not being able to talk to girls is lonliness. And uve had a relationship before. As for me, well i got squat.

You're only 14. I'll be 22 in a couple weeks and I only really started talking to girls (and eventually a gf) six months ago. Being lonely and sad sucks but it's also unavoidable no matter what your situation. Having a partner isn't guaranteed to change it. You have to love yourself, before you love someone else.

you're totally right. i do love myself. but sometimes my confidence just drops sooo low. and it might be wrong but sometimes i would like for someone else to pick me up.

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Lonliness? no no, being 14 and being cooped up in your room not being able to talk to girls is lonliness. And uve had a relationship before. As for me, well i got squat.

You're only 14. I'll be 22 in a couple weeks and I only really started talking to girls (and eventually a gf) six months ago. Being lonely and sad sucks but it's also unavoidable no matter what your situation. Having a partner isn't guaranteed to change it. You have to love yourself, before you love someone else.

you're totally right. i do love myself. but sometimes my confidence just drops sooo low. and it might be wrong but sometimes i would like for someone else to pick me up.

I agree, it's ideal if we can learn not to depend on others for happiness, but it's just so hard. We're social beings, we want acceptance... in any kind of form (love, friendship, family). I can completely relate with you Beanz. And recently all I've been doing (except for the last couple of days) is staying inside all the time and listening to music/going online/doing homework. I'm in such a funk right now, but I know we can both get out of it. Be around positivity, concentrate and focus on all your strengths, not your flaws. You're a beautiful person; very sweet and sincere. You can do it! :angel:

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Guest beanz

awww thanx sweetie! yeah like all week i had been busy, but last night, for some reason i was home alone and had lots of time to over-think things. stuff seems so much harder to deal with when you're alone and bored i guess. i try really hard to stay positive about things, but like i said...my self-esteem just drops sometimes. we all have our bad days, right? but luckily we all come out of it stronger. :angel:

(hey i'm only 3 days older than u! lol)

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awww thanx sweetie! yeah like all week i had been busy, but last night, for some reason i was home alone and had lots of time to over-think things. stuff seems so much harder to deal with when you're alone and bored i guess. i try really hard to stay positive about things, but like i said...my self-esteem just drops sometimes. we all have our bad days, right? but luckily we all come out of it stronger. :angel:

(hey i'm only 3 days older than u! lol)

:dance: Lol, whoa! Didn't know we were the same age. :dance:

I noticed the same thing happens to me too... Like, when I go out and surround myself with people, I'm happy and my self-esteem is good. When I'm by myself not really doing anything, I start picking at all my flaws. And then I concentrate on them and my self-esteem plummets. I'd say we should go out more often, if it makes us feel good- but at the same time... it's just weird, you know? Why can't we be okay by ourselves? I don't want to always be doing something to be happy... I want to feel good and have great self-esteem when I'm by myself, bored, too.

Here's a site with self-esteem quotes, hopefully they'll boost yours :angel:

http://www.affirmations-for-success.com/se...eem-quotes.html

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Guest beanz

:dance: Lol, whoa! Didn't know we were the same age. :dance:

I noticed the same thing happens to me too... Like, when I go out and surround myself with people, I'm happy and my self-esteem is good. When I'm by myself not really doing anything, I start picking at all my flaws. And then I concentrate on them and my self-esteem plummets. I'd say we should go out more often, if it makes us feel good- but at the same time... it's just weird, you know? Why can't we be okay by ourselves? I don't want to always be doing something to be happy... I want to feel good and have great self-esteem when I'm by myself, bored, too.

Here's a site with self-esteem quotes, hopefully they'll boost yours :angel:

http://www.affirmations-for-success.com/se...eem-quotes.html

That site is awesome...my fav:

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

Harvey Fienstein

I'm happiest when I'm around friends and family. Their presence & acceptance (of me) makes me feel good. I wish I could be okay by myself...but I need people who love me. I guess the thought that "I'm alone" makes me lose confidence in myself. I've been trying to go out more lately...and I have been. But it tends to get a lil expensive. lol And I'm broke. But I do agree, I should be okay when I'm alone.

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Guest Calibos

it seems like anytime i stay home on the weekend, i end up feeling really sad and lonely. i just woke up from like a 5 hour nap and i really don't feel good at all. there's this guy i've been thinking about a lot lately and i was supposed to hang out with him and his friends (who are also my friends) last night but he changed his mind at the last minute to hang out with 2 of his guy friends...i'm pretty sure he knew i was going and i think if he was interested, he wouldn't have changed his mind. and on top of that, his friend found out i was crushin on him and said he would see what he could do about it. i told him not to make me seem desperate or anything but i dunno whats gonna happen. i haven't heard from him all day today so that doesn't seem like a good sign.

i haven't had a boyfriend since last july. i say it's because i'm too picky but it's probably more because i'm afraid. to be honest...the only serious boyfriends i've had, i've met over the net. one lived about 3 1/2 hours away and the other lived in ohio...everytime i think about that, it makes me feel like such a loser. i really don't know what's wrong with me. i feel soooo ugly sometimes...and this skin situation doesn't help any. i never want anyone to see me without make up. i'm constantly re-applying my make up so it gets to look kinda cakey and fake and i hate it so much because it makes ME feel fake but i can't go out without it on. i've never even let my boyfriends see me without it.

i know this all sounds really highschool-ish and unimportant but it really hurts when you want someone to love and there's not even a prospect. i feel like in a lot of my free time, i just lock myself in my room and get online or listen to music. it doesn't help tho because i always end up feeling like i just wasted so much time. when i feel like my skin looks bad, i don't want to even go outside. i know that dealing with my bad skin has kinda morphed me as a person. sometimes i feel so socially awkward because i'm always wondering what people think about the way i look. i'm never satisfied with my appearance and i don't really know if i will ever be. it's hard to deal with that and make yourself seem totally confident. :cry: i just don't know how to fix myself

Hun your not a loser, no way; e-relationships are fairly common, aslong as you and the other person get on theres nothing sad about it, other than the tragic fact its harder to see eachother outside the chatroom so to speak.

Acne is a bastard, it ruins your self esteem and makes you doubt yourself regardless of what anyone else says, there's a lot of good looking people on here who have no confidence whatsoever and really obsess over their skin; which to anyone else, would seem as if nothing is wrong.

It's a common feeling when a bad skin day erupts that you don't want to leave the house, i used to not leave the room for days waiting for my skin to get even minutely better; i would cancel social events, parties and friends just because i couldn't face anyone with a face full of zits.

Its even more common to be unsatisfied with your appearance, you're your own worst critic and we all notice things that other people never notice, i hate my appearance and rarely look in the mirror (Unless im doing my piratey eye liner - Arrr!) as i'd rather just not think about how i look, this is both a good and a bad way to feel about yourself. Its good that you won't let your face keep you from doing things and you'll be a lot happier not checking your face every 20 minutes, but the Bad thing is that you develop a false image in your head of what you look like, next time you look in the mirror its a big shock to see the person looking back, and that can hurt.

You're a very attractive girl, any guy would be fucking jammy (American Translation - Jammy = Lucky) to be with a girl like yourself, don't assume just cos you haven't heard anything that its bad news, have you not heard the age old saying "No news is good news" maybe the other guy hasn't mentioned anything and thats why you haven't heard anything, don't stress to much about it - your gorgeous, let him come to you.

and keep your chin up!! :comfort: your skin will get better and then you'll be fighting men off with a shitty stick :D

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Guest beanz

Hun your not a loser, no way; e-relationships are fairly common, aslong as you and the other person get on theres nothing sad about it, other than the tragic fact its harder to see eachother outside the chatroom so to speak.

Acne is a bastard, it ruins your self esteem and makes you doubt yourself regardless of what anyone else says, there's a lot of good looking people on here who have no confidence whatsoever and really obsess over their skin; which to anyone else, would seem as if nothing is wrong.

It's a common feeling when a bad skin day erupts that you don't want to leave the house, i used to not leave the room for days waiting for my skin to get even minutely better; i would cancel social events, parties and friends just because i couldn't face anyone with a face full of zits.

Its even more common to be unsatisfied with your appearance, you're your own worst critic and we all notice things that other people never notice, i hate my appearance and rarely look in the mirror (Unless im doing my piratey eye liner - Arrr!) as i'd rather just not think about how i look, this is both a good and a bad way to feel about yourself. Its good that you won't let your face keep you from doing things and you'll be a lot happier not checking your face every 20 minutes, but the Bad thing is that you develop a false image in your head of what you look like, next time you look in the mirror its a big shock to see the person looking back, and that can hurt.

You're a very attractive girl, any guy would be fucking jammy (American Translation - Jammy = Lucky) to be with a girl like yourself, don't assume just cos you haven't heard anything that its bad news, have you not heard the age old saying "No news is good news" maybe the other guy hasn't mentioned anything and thats why you haven't heard anything, don't stress to much about it - your gorgeous, let him come to you.

and keep your chin up!! :comfort: your skin will get better and then you'll be fighting men off with a shitty stick :D

lol @ the jammy & shitty stick...you're silly :wub:

it's nice to hear things from a guy's perspective every once in a while. unfortunately...i look at myself every 10 minutes, hoping something has disappeared or faded. :( and of course i'm always disappointed. i think doing things your way is much better. at least you're not let down every 10 min, right? i dunno, maybe it's worse for girls.

and about the e-relationships, they felt good at the time but i realized how much i was missing out on...spending every day together and getting to be with eachother whenever we wanted. i regret to say that i've never experienced that with a real boyfriend. but i know if i did, i would have a hard time trying to explain to him how much this *condition* effects me. my ex really didn't understand and would get mad at me when i didn't let him see me without make up. it's not that i didn't want to...i just couldn't bring myself to it. only recently has my best friend seen me without it...and of course she didn't say anything because she's accepted me the way i am...hopefully my next boyfriend will accept me also.

and about the boy...i'm hoping the only reason why he didn't go was because we were going to college night at a club and that's not really his scene. he's in a metal band :lol: but his friends went, i just don't see why he wouldn't go. and i think if he was interested in me, he would have gone anyway. i hope i'm wrong tho. i can't seem to get him out of my head...and his friend that i talked to about it seemed to have some confidence...he's the one that offered to "hook us up". we shall see i guess. :pray:

but thanx for what you said...it really helped. :angel:

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Guest Calibos

i love metal and im in a band, if he doesn't want you (which im sure he will) i think i will make a decent substitute :P

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Guest beanz

i love metal and im in a band, if he doesn't want you (which im sure he will) i think i will make a decent substitute :P

way decent ;) :wub: it's funny b/c he looks johnny depp-ish and u look like jack sparrow :lol:

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i love metal and im in a band, if he doesn't want you (which im sure he will) i think i will make a decent substitute :P

way decent ;) :wub: it's funny b/c he looks johnny depp-ish and u look like jack sparrow :lol:

Wow :shock:. He looks like Johnny Depp? Definitely a keeper :lol: :wub:.

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Guest beanz

lol felt weird having a pic of him up here...sorry guys

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i love metal and im in a band, if he doesn't want you (which im sure he will) i think i will make a decent substitute :P

way decent ;) :wub: it's funny b/c he looks johnny depp-ish and u look like jack sparrow :lol:

Wow :shock:. He looks like Johnny Depp? Definitely a keeper :lol: :wub:.

:lol: i think so...u can judge for yourself...

IPB Image

His face yeah, kind of. He has a bit of a dark look going on... it'd be nice if he looked up and smiled!! Very cute :angel:, how tall is he? (I have to ask... tall = a turn on for me :lol:).

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Guest beanz

His face yeah, kind of. He has a bit of a dark look going on... it'd be nice if he looked up and smiled!! Very cute :angel:, how tall is he? (I have to ask... tall = a turn on for me :lol:).

it was a band picture, i think he had to look all hardcore. :lol: ummm i think he's probably about 5'9''? i dunno, he's not super tall but he's good enough :)

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God, this makes me feel lik an old codger. I remember when I felt this way. I had so many days when I was in school, or when I had a date, or had an opportunity to strike up a conversation with someone I was interested in that I would totally back down because of my face. I missed so much highschool from skipping bcause of my skin. All I'd do was lay in my bed and listen to Afghan Wigs and think negative crap til I'd fall asleep. Every single damn day. I promise that it will get better. I know that sounds stupid now, but it really does. I'm all old and married now and he loves me zits and all. I even made a career out of my zits. I became an aesthetician.

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Guest beanz

God, this makes me feel lik an old codger. I remember when I felt this way. I had so many days when I was in school, or when I had a date, or had an opportunity to strike up a conversation with someone I was interested in that I would totally back down because of my face. I missed so much highschool from skipping bcause of my skin. All I'd do was lay in my bed and listen to Afghan Wigs and think negative crap til I'd fall asleep. Every single damn day. I promise that it will get better. I know that sounds stupid now, but it really does. I'm all old and married now and he loves me zits and all. I even made a career out of my zits. I became an aesthetician.

See, I can't wait for that. You're lucky to have found someone who loves you the way you are. Good for you :angel:

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